@cuddlefaery - I see what you're saying. I think it's fine to book an hour with a new pro and ask if it's possible to extend the session if it went well. If not, then he can schedule another session for another time.
@cuddlefaery As @Mike403 pointed out, I wasn't at all suggesting that a pro needs to be available for more than the booked 1 hr. session. But somehow, that's what you read....not sure why, perhaps you might want to re-read and look for a more positive intention than the one you assumed?
And I don't at all see how my perspective should give you the right to suggest and say " don't come on here and try to moralize....."
I was warned that by participating in this forum I would be submitting myself to judgments, anger, and assumptions....I am only here to stimulate respectful conversation, and I'm sorry you saw my comments differently
@beaubliss my point still stands... if you have two pros to pick between, both that you have enjoyed cuddling previously, but one is able to extend on the fly and the other cannot - can you honestly tell me that you are not going to choose the former? How is thinking that a pro requiring 2 hours is unreasonable, but you requesting to extend last minute is not?
And you did try to moralize with this part:
Isn't it more welcoming and loving, especially in trying to invite a new client, to first make contact, see how far it is, determine the fit, and then suggest a two hour session?
You're flat out stating that a pro having boundaries and business policies in place is somehow less "welcoming and loving". That is not making an assumption, is exactly what you said.
Again, it is absolutely fine that you only wish to book with pros who don't have those policies - but that doesn't mean that the ones that do are somehow morally less, worse at cuddling, or doing it wrong. You are attaching a moral judgement against them to your financial decision.
@cuddlefaery - It might be more about new pros that he hasn't seen before and is unsure if he'll enjoy her company. If it's somebody he cuddled previously, there would be no need to only book an hour while hoping to extend it during the session.
@Mike403 yes, but if a pro is generally unable to extend on the fly, it stands to reason that they cannot on the first session, either. It is this unspoken expectation that a pro must not have anything better to do or anything else planned, so of course they'd be available to extend when he was unwilling to just book two hours from the start. As I said, this is a really, really common expectation placed on women in service work even if the client claims it's not an expectation - if we do not make ourselves available at our expense when asked then we lose that client's business. It is expected that since it is service work we will go out of our way to accommodate, even if it means inconveniencing our other clients or obligations.
If instead the client were to go ahead and book the two hour session, at worst what might happen? They'd lose out on the sunk cost of the second hour, just as the pro would have lost that time slot they could have been cultivating a relationship with a different client that might have gone better - lost opportunity. Both parties have sunk costs in the equation.
At least if the 2nd hour was booked from the beginning and it is going well after the 1st hour, there is no disrespecting of anyone's time or boundaries. There is no fear of negative consequences for turning down the request.
And as far as what should happen after a 1 hour first session that goes well? Book another session for another time.
@cuddlefaery You continue to make assumptions yourself.....thus you read others as doing so too. I simply asked a question....Isn't it more loving? You can answer "No", and state why you don't think it is without insulting the person posing the question. How you can somehow conclude from my question that I believe the following:
"but that doesn't mean that the ones that do are somehow morally less, worse at cuddling, or doing it wrong. You are attaching a moral judgement against them to your financial decision"
It is not a financial decision that I am making! I have spent $200 on an hour session, but refuse to commit to a 2hr. session with someone charging $100 an hr. If that same pro I paid $200 to charged only $100 an hr, but required a 2 hr. session, I would not book her. I in no way am concluding that she is "morally less, worse at cuddling, or doing it wrong". I simply do not want to commit to a certain amount of time for an initial session.
I am curious as to why you need to somehow belittle a client who is simply stating a preference? I would never suggest that you disrespect those of us who seek out service work, that you don't value our time, or have expectations that we should go out of our way to accommodate pros and their schedules? It's not a binary......you don't have to be right, and I am wrong.... you can simply and respectfully disagree. I don't think I am right; but I do think I have a legitimate perspective, and that I want to be part of a community where differing viewpoints are welcome.
Perhaps you have had experiences that have offended you, maybe disrespectful clients.....I am not here to judge you or to suggest that your business practices are unreasonable. I don't even know what they are, to be honest. But I do know that though I have preferences that would keep me from being drawn to certain profile descriptions, I am always respectful, and I am deeply grateful for the energy, love, and intention that most pros bring to this incredibly valuable work.
I ask you this, @beaubliss - where did I insult or belittle? What did I say that you interpret as such?
Reading back over our debate what I see is me challenging your points and arguing my own. Do I use strongly worded statements? Absolutely. But where do I use insults?
I guess I just look at things a little differently than many of the pros here. Not only do I offer a 30 minute session for new clients, I always leave at least a 2 hour open window after the scheduled session to allow for extending a session. Clearly, I'm not as busy as many of the younger cuddlers, but I have never tried to schedule more than 2 sessions in the same day! Anyway, I actually REQUIRE a short phone conversation, at no charge, to determine that we are on the same page as far as boundaries, before I give my address to a new client.