Misunderstood:(

KozyKimKozyKim
edited August 2023 in General

My last two client inquiries have blocked me. Like oh my what am I doing wrong. I’m just surprised that people block without confronting or saying some thing that may be could help me be a better pro. I know some people are overly sensitive and a lot of things trigger them so it’s not always my fault, but peoples feelings are valid and how am I to validate your feelings if you don’t tell me how I’ve offended or hurt you.

I moved my sessions to public cuddling from private. Getting close to deleting my profile all together, but I wanted to stay on the forum without deactivating. Maybe if I stop caring about being blocked, it will stop lol.

I think I have to let go of the thought of having closure. I guess I’m a curious person and I’m always curious why people do what they do. Here are the two profiles that were blocked. I blocked out their name to keep them private.
Just know before I ever delete my profile I’ll say goodbye because I love closure😝💛🤗

«1

Comments

  • KozyKimKozyKim
    edited August 2023

    I think I did it

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    I sent the same one twice lol

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @KozyKim - I would hate to see you go but just an FYI - you might want to delete those screenshots before the mods delete them. We aren’t supposed to post screenshots like that and one of the names isn’t redacted very well.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    Honestly, people are weird sometimes. It doesn’t look like you did anything to get blocked. I would consider viewing it as a “them” issue, and try to literally not worry about it at all.

    I don’t believe I’ve been blocked by anybody, but another person and I will be having a good convo, and bam, they stop the convo. It’s the culture of this day.

    I did see one pro state she won’t chase cuddles because the person will not probably show up, so possibly look at it as a blessing that they blocked now and didn’t stand you up and waste your time.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    I know I’m having a hard time deleting the one that I made a copy of. I’ve deleted pictures before, but for some reason I’m having a hard time deleting these.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @CuddleHugs01234 good advice
    @JohnR1972 thanks, John I guess I grew up in a different era when people would talk things out and not block you but I guess that’s the way it goes now people are not confrontational. Or they’re overly confrontational.

  • RezzRezz

    @KozyKim Girl delete those mesaages. A phone number is attached. You're.going to get all kinds of weirdos messaging you.

    As for blocking, consider it self screening. I get blocked all the time. Good. I welcome it infact. We won't be wasting each other's time if we are not compatible.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    Oh that’s right thanks, Rezz

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    I can’t figure out how to erase them

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited August 2023

    @KozyKim I can’t imagine anyone blocking you, of all people! Their loss, certainly. Don’t make it about you! Some people block because they are stupid. I had one person block me because he did not like my name appearing in his visitor queue!

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @KozyKim can you go to the settings to the right, hit the gear to edit, and delete the pics that way, like back out of the images link.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @KozyKim You successfully removed the screenshots. I didn't see them, but I'm sorry you're feeling down about being blocked.

    I also come from a family/culture where people have the decency to at least briefly say, "Hey, unfortunately I'm ending contact because of XYZ." I've only ever blocked two people here, and they both know exactly why. If someone were to block me, I would wish they would do me the same courtesy. Otherwise, we simply leave people oblivious and unequipped to improve. Communication helps everyone and one explanatory sentence before hitting the block button takes very little effort.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle
    edited August 2023

    Oh, KozyKim, I hate that being blocked bothers you. I know that you know it could be anything and what every other poster here is saying is true. It surprises me that happened to you since you are easy to get along with. I think sometimes it happens because many people (including me) find it hard to discern who will be mature and courteous about the reason why and are worried about an over-reaction. Sometimes I think it's just laziness and I meet many people everywhere who show no interest in personal growth (referring to the blocker).

    And I love it that you would not leave cc without saying bye!

    I've accidentally discovered I've been blocked by people I've never spoken to. I assume they did not like my forum posts and I wonder which one. Like you I would like to know the reason.

    Don't forget they might be sinister or non-platonic and you may have been blocked because you said all the right things!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 2023

    @KozyKim just stop right there. This thread is based on a false premise.

    It is not repeat not the case that you can read anything into somebody blocking you. People block for a bewildering variety of reasons. Sometimes it's just to keep their searches and messages clean. Sometimes it's because they struggle with emotional regulation. Sometimes it's because they changed their mind about booking you, or somebody else that they contacted at the same time as you happenened to see the message before you did and came back first. Sometimes they just changed their mind. Sometimes they just hit the wrong button. In the past we have had a number of long threads about this. (If you want to try and dig them up it's usually easier to use google than the forum search function.)

    Sure, some or all of these people are being a bit rude. But - in the interests of balance - they are also saving you the time and trouble of reading their 'goodbye' message and trying to decide whether to reply to it.

    Your premise is that being blocked is somehow something to do with something you did or did not do. It is true that that can happen, but the reality is that it's pretty rare. And when it is for that reason it falls into two categories: either you know fine in your heart of hearts what you did wrong, or it's a misunderstanding. Humans are not designed for text communication and it goes wrong a lot. Mostly we don't notice because we're doing it with people we know and we have context, but that isn't the case with internet strangers. Miscommuniciation or misunderstanding when chatting to strangers by text is very common, and sadly instead of talking about it there is a large group of people who just block.

    Blocking can 'feel' like a rejection because we carry over assumptions about what behaviour means from real life onto the internet. But in fact these assumptions don't apply because the context is completely different.

    To use an analogy, when the car in front of you doesn't indicate before turning, it does not mean that the driver is deliberately ignoring you. They just didn't indicate. You might be annoyed for a moment, but you don't take it so personally that you consider giving up driving. You know that the not-indicating is nothing to do with you.

    Being upset because some random person blocked you is therefore an inappropriate response. Being mildly disappointed for three minutes that a possible booking has disappeared is fair enough, but being so upset that you're considering leaving the site is to misunderstand how blocking is used by the vast majority of people who use it.

    TL:DR it's not about you. It's about them. You haven't done anything wrong, and there is little or nothing you can do differently to stop it from happening. It's just part of how the internet works in practice.

    @Rezz

    As for blocking, consider it self screening. I get blocked all the time. Good. I welcome it infact. We won't be wasting each other's time if we are not compatible.

    True, dat.

  • RezzRezz

    @KozyKim

    Sorry I was in a parking lot and wasn't able to get more in depth.
    People block me because they know damn well I'm not going to budge on my boundaries and they know not to waste their money on me. Perfect. Save us both a headache.

    People block me because I'm extremely vocal in the forums about certain topics.

    Members block me because they dislike pros.

    Other pos block me because it's Tuesday and they are bored or because they strongly disagree with my posts.

    People block me because they simply don't like me. I truly DGAF. Neither should you.

    You need to stop stressing about closure from random people you will never meet and focus on those around you who really matter. Life is too GD short and uncertain to carry around the worries and weight of what a bunch of strangers think
    Based on everything I've ever read that you've posted , you seem really kind and sincere. I hope you stick around. 🫶

  • BearBear

    "what people say about you is a reflection of them not you"

    This quote has helped me a lot. I grew up with low self-esteem and insecurities. I am in a much better place nowadays. A quart like this has helped me get there.

    I recently had a professional cuddler asked me if I wanted to do a virtual session because I looked at their profile and they were in another state. I said no thank you. Next time I looked at my messages I noticed she had blocked me. I didn’t say anything negative I just said no thank you. She didn’t like what she heard. I did not look at it as some thing I did wrong. Years ago I probably would’ve got defensive.

  • RebeccaKeRebeccaKe

    The internet is definitely a cruel place. And I'm sure everyone probably has good intentions here but I think it's odd people are telling this woman how she should or shouldn't feel. Everyone has different triggers and things that upset them. It would be one thing if she were trying to make her personal triggers everyone else's responsibility, but, I don't see her doing that, she's just innocently venting and looking for some support. And none of us know what she might be going through in her personal life that might make being blocked more upsetting than it would be for most people. It's a frustrating situation. People feel how they feel though. I don't think there's any right or wrong response to being randomly blocked.

  • SouthernDollSouthernDoll

    @KozyKim

    I’m sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, some people are just extremely different when it comes to communication, them blocking you has more to do with them and their own issues/inability to communicate properly.

    Just block them back and keep it moving, thankfully the block button works both ways 😃👍🏾

    It is their loss blocking you and as for combating the odd feelings of getting no direct answer for your closure from them and why they’ve blocked you, take satisfaction knowing those are 2 profiles less that you’ve to worry about wasting anytime on. They get no closure on what a gift they won’t get to experience if they’d of been able to meet you.

    ~ Happy Cuddling Everyone 🤗 ~

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Bear

    I recently had a professional cuddler asked me if I wanted to do a virtual session because I looked at their profile and they were in another state. I said no thank you. Next time I looked at my messages I noticed she had blocked me. I didn’t say anything negative I just said no thank you. She didn’t like what she heard. I did not look at it as some thing I did wrong. Years ago I probably would’ve got defensive.

    The most likely reason she blocked you was simply administrative: you're not a potential client for her, and she doesn't want to waste your time or hers should you inadvertently encounter each other in the future. Lots of people do this kind of thing.

  • Jova114Jova114

    @KozyKim
    I'm gonna tell you what my best friend tells me.
    "You can't know everything, and that's okay."

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @CuddleDuncan thanks for your input. No I would not be leaving the site because of people blocking me that would be stupid. It’s just feels like my time is up I don’t really get that many inquiries anyway.

    I don’t feel rejected because people block me and I am not feeling sorry for myself or anything like that. I guess if I was blocking someone it would be because they were harassing me or they said something stupid like can we cuddle naked. And then they would actually know why I blocked them, but if I’m having a normal conversation with someone and then I block them, I’m sure they would wonder. My personality type leads to curiosity on why people do what they do once I’m satisfied with the reason they did it I can MoveOn and I guess I have no choice to move on. I think if the person said. You charge too much money for a phone conversation so I’m going to block you so that I don’t message you again that would be sufficient for me. Or if the other guy said I was nervous when you asked me my name and I changed my mind about cuddling so I blocked you so that I wouldn’t bother. But I guess the world has a problem with communicating, especially the younger generation so I must consider the sources. I am an extreme closure type person so I guess getting blocked does bother me, but it doesn’t make it hurt my feelings or I don’t feel rejected.

    @SouthernDoll and @RebeccaKe such an intelligent responses to my statement. In this world of misunderstandings. Thanks for understanding me. I mainly venting and I’m just a curious person.

    @Jova114 thanks for the reminder when you read things like that you remember it’s not important to know everything.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @Rezz I like your post Rezz. I guess you’re right though it’s one less person that I have to deal with. It’s not serious about actually having a session or that may not be on the up and up.

    For everyone else, I’m not highly upset or distraught or rejected or anything like that. I’m just a curious person. Most of the people that have blocked me. I could figure out why they blocked me. I probably said no to something that they were interested in. Or I came back with a snarky comment about something they were asking that was against the rules. So I’m not really curious about them. I guess I’m always just curious about those I had a normal conversation and then I get blocked. I don’t see what the big deal is about me posting that because it’s just weird that’s all. And yes I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with those people Next time they decide to leave a message and then and they still waste more of my time.

  • Jova114Jova114

    @KozyKim
    Exactly!
    And that's okay.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @RadiantHugs thank you Sweet man (one of my all-time favorite cuddle sessions) if they were all guaranteed to be kind like you I would do it for free:) I still get comfort, thinking about the memory of you hugging me

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I get what you are saying @KozyKim and I'm much the same. Glad it doesn't bother you. I think more younger people on the site is changing it; just an observation.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited August 2023

    @CuddleDuncan

    The most likely reason she blocked you was simply administrative: you're not a potential client for her, and she doesn't want to waste your time or hers should you inadvertently encounter each other in the future. Lots of people do this kind of thing.

    Just because somebody says no doesn't mean they won't book them on a future day. Maybe they just don't have the money right now. Blocking a potential client because they said no to a booking is kinda silly.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I understand what Mike is saying but I agree with Duncan and I've done the same thing just to simplify administering? my membership. Having some understanding of the volume of member interactions pros have to deal with/keep up with, I would do as they do. Blocking for administrative reasons saves time. Sometimes I hesitate to do so because so many people have posted that it hurts their feelings (not referring to Kim; she explained herself well). But I have to take care of myself and be practical.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @KozyKim It speaks very well of you that so many people here have offered support, etc. on your thread. Not surprised at all :)

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @achetocuddle I do love the advice to people give me and the support. I am one person that loves advice. I’ve actually use a lot of the advice that I’ve gotten on here especially if people been on longer and they have more experience. Why not take their advice.

    Back on the thread, where they talked about personality types, people would give their initials of what they were, but I would give the character of who I was, because it’s better to read about a persons personality/character. Because I am the campaigner personality. Part of that personality is very curious about what makes people tic and why people do what they do. So that’s who I am. I do have to let things go and that’s fine but it is nice to talk on here you all give such good insight on why people do that, that I could almost guess that’s one of the reasons stated. Thanks everyone hugs and cuddles to you all!!!🤗🤗🤗

  • TxTomTxTom

    @KozyKim If some overly-emotional, hand-wringing, ninny decides to excoriate you for something on your profile that puts their knickers in a twist... laugh at them, and make fun of them.

    That's what I do.

Sign In or Register to comment.