@MatureCuddlez
Regardless of how they act (a little leg humpin never hurt anyone), for me, it's all been harmless human nature and I am pretty good at "changing subjects."
I'm sorry, what?
@MatureCuddlez you said, “ a little leg humpin never hurt anyone?”
You’re kidding me? This is not at all appropriate for CC. It hurts plenty.
Not okay to say or do here. So the Netflix and Chill on your profile wasn’t an accident then? I find it hard to believe a former cam girl was unaware of the term. Maybe but…. Really
@mark @netrunner @Shake49 @cheeseboy
@Sooson I don't care what your reasoning is. If you feel some kind of a connective need to avenge the OP for choosing on his own free will to start a blatantly divisive thread and then delete then you are more than free to do so , just like I am more than free to call you weird and creepy.
@stormydaycuddle
I side eyed when she went on a tangent about pros with $100+ rates. Gal is out here giving dry hump rides but has the audacity to complain about someone else's rates. 🤣
I guarantee, these folks charging beyond $100 either think their shit don't stink or they are being shady and doing what they want to make that paper.
@Rezz 🤢🤢🤢🤢 this… this… is why we have to deal with this crap. I’ve never seen one so blatantly open before but…
[Redacted]
I'm sorry but there is no one here saying that rape culture is OK and we have to deal with it. Stop trying to gaslight. There are two arguments I'm seeing here. One side is saying let's get men to not be creeps and then we don't have to worry any more. One side is saying men are going to be creeps no matter what we wish and so you should protect yourself. Both sides sound to me like they are trying to deal with the same problem in different ways. Granted, the dry humping thing is a little weird. Maybe I'm missing it, but is there anyone claiming that pros deserve assault?
When someone starts talking about what kind of site-approved photos women should not be posting, it's classic victim-blaming.
@jplemmon You know what, that's fair. I am not trying to gaslight anyone. So I redact my earlier comment.
Just talking to a friend about this and I think I expressed it better in what I said to him:
Summarizing
Question "Don't you wear a lot of clothes to deter men?" Not word for word.
My response which I think explains it better than I have so far:
I still get attacked, molested, hit on, attempts made. It doesn’t matter what you wear. Part of my attire choices are about my own self confidence related to what I wear. Yes, it does create a more pajama party feel but these predators who rape don’t care what you’re wearing. That's an excuse to make it the victim’s fault. Predators are predators and the only variable is opportunity. We need to teach all children what’s appropriate. Little girls shouldn’t have to accommodate just so someone can’t blame her. They were going to do it anyway. And all different people find different things sexy. If we were to accommodate our dress code to that then we would be in cardboard boxes and I almost guarantee you at least one person has a thing for that.
clothing becomes an excuse and it will always be too short, too tight, too something to support the actions of the people doing the wrong things. It’s in the eye of the beholder which is why it shouldn’t be allowed to stand as reasoning and we can’t teach girls it’s okay to tell them that what they wore affected it. It still opens up backwards reasoning and makes girls feel like its them because they didn’t make sure no one thought they were sexy.
This video. A great explanation. Comedy. Cursing warning.
@stormydaycuddle - Maybe a hazmat suit... because...well... People are hazardous.
@WriterGF victim blaming is saying "hey you wore this so you get what you deserve". That is a much harsher claim than advocating caution and being practical. This is not purely male client logic here. I've seen many of the established pros on here make claims about how they purposely dress a certain way in photos to deter creeps. That does NOT mean bikini photos are some sort of green light.
I can’t believe you guys are still discussing this. Everyone has a perspective on how they see things and how they communicate. Why is everyone so dead set on proving themselves right? You can’t be so married to your own words that you can’t try to understand someone else’s. Empathy and compassion go to everyone not just the person you agree with. Sometimes people want something you don’t, you have to be careful. Sometimes people believe you want something you don’t, you have to be cautious. The funny thing is even knows this but has the need to prove their point. Hasn’t the world taught you you can’t prove anything to anyone? Men know what they shouldn’t be doing, but some are trying to take a mile from an inch. Women know what they shouldn’t be doing, but some do it because it’s what they want to do. Everyone here knows what you are risking by being in these circumstances, and some have deemed the benefits out weigh the risk.
That’s it, my bad i should have minded my business. ⛽️🚨not intended
Then explain to me what he was trying to say. If the point was not, "Hey, posting photos in which you are wearing X increases your risk," then what was it? Because if that was what he was saying, he was victim blaming. He was saying, "Oh, if you post pictures like that and then get assaulted, that's probably a reason why."
On another subject, I wish we would stop using terms like "boundary pushing" or "ignoring limits" and call it what it most often is, sexual assault.
@WriterGF - Boundary pushing has a wider range of behaviors. For example, asking a pro out on a date is pushing boundaries on a platonic site, but it isn't sexual assault.
.
But, if you want to know what i read from your post, I’ll tell you if you ask. I thought you would glean it from my comments but apparently not.
@BashfulLoner I apologize, I know you didn't mean that but it fits in the context of this discussion in a way that those who attacked me would run out of red flags if it was me posting it. it was indirectly addressed to them to see if they pick up on it . I misinterpreted your post and your intentions and took it out of context and was called out immediately, unlike those who did the same with my comments. So in short, exposing hypocrisy and selective outrage.
So you are a part of a great experiment Be proud. And again, my apologies.
For anyone reading or commenting here and not feeling that we're understanding each other, how about ask yourself these types of questions in the future when you're wondering where the "lines" should exist...
And take these things seriously. Some commenters here need to stop being pervs and/or dismissive about this issue. This is simply an exercise in trying to see another's perspective.
"Would you have these same thoughts if we were talking about male professional cuddlers?"
-- "If a male professional is wearing clothes that some might consider 'sexy' in his pics or giving a 'sexy' smile....would you automatically assume it's a green light for me to get something sexual?" -- "If a male professional is charging 'too much', would I assume it means you can get something sexual during our session?" -- "If a male professional complains about clients trying to touch him or assault him during sessions, would you assume it's his fault for 'putting himself in this situation' in the first place, so he shouldn't be allowed to be upset when that happens?" -- "If a client does sexually assault a male professional cuddler, you would think that it's fine because it's his fault for somehow turning her on? And ...girls will be girls?" -- "If a client does sexually assault a male professional cuddler, would you think that he should be flattered that the client was attracted to him"?
I'm willing to bet no one has ever thought the same things about the male pros on this site....🤷🏻♀️
Edited to add: that I'm a psy undergrad and these threads provide me with TONS of material to write about behavioral psychology topics. Like how some humans still seem to feel entitled to others human's bodies simply to fill their own personal needs....and completely ignoring the rights and needs of others.
@RedFox16 or a male client attacking a male pro. With the line of thinking going on here it doesn't seem like women are held as equal in anything. Since its okay to "help us" by trying to dictate what won't get us assaulted when they have no experience being a woman.
I'd like the men here who have never experienced what its like to be a woman and who continue to think they know best to come back when they have a uterus.
The fact that these arguments seem to be built upon your own experience... you don't think maybe your experience is limited to yourself (which by the way you're talking is horrifying) and ours as a whole put upon us by society? From a very young age. We have more experience being women and being attacked as women than you do.
Go get a few things changed then come back and talk.
Exactly 100% right! On this, and other things.
Man, it really can be hard on here to just find someone to stay platonic 😕 I hope you find better luck eventually.
Well @RedFox16 i would assume sexual assault is sexual assault no matter who is the victim male or female, or who the perpetrator is. I also believe i can tell when a male is trying to elicit a certain kind of attention, it’s not hard at all. Now don’t take that to mean i think people who dress a certain way should be treated in any way other than how they wish, because no one should. But it is being honest when i say, that i see pictures that i believe to be attempting to appeal to certain senses. Women do it and men do it….. my bad i almost went into one of those explanations that wasn’t needed.
When i say people aren’t understanding people, I’m saying they are choosing not to understand. There is a difference. We all know what words mean, we know what context is as well. We all know what Netflix is, most of us know what to chill is when used in a certain context it means something unrelated to either of those words. I like to watch Netflix while i am chilling, but if I’m with some one i enjoy I’d also like to be distracted but something else, this is 100% true for me. Some how these days i can’t say those words together without someone assuming i want to have sex. That’s not the truth, people i have had sex with in my life always know my intentions and i know theirs.
What i am alluding to is that when anyone says that i believe your intention on here is other than platonic because of a picture a price or words those are their interpretations. If my interpretation bothers you i cannot help that. I personally don’t care what you charge, i ain’t paying. But believ me there are high priced folks on here that offer sex and low price, that is not the formula to find them. There are very sexy women on here that don’t want more than sex, and there are women that I’d say aren’t sexy offering it up. No one can make a blanket statement about intentions, or perceptions.
What i see is people expressing their thoughts and getting pummeled by words that have nothing to do with their original comment. Just like my comment earlier intentionally didn’t mention sexual assault, i insinuated something related to sex but i never mentioned it. But somebody took what i said to mean something different or used it to pontificate something they intended unrelated to what i said.
@stormydaycuddle i agree 100% and would never. But i also believe that a man sharing an opinion about what they see is stating they have the answers. But I am trying to be very intentional in stating what I think and perceive from what I see. I can only speak for myself and will tell you exactly what I think in relation to my experiences. They rest of you do you.
I will only speak to MY experience.
Tata for now, I’m going to sage my thoughts from participating today.
The length of this thread is approaching the price mega thread.
Earlier I read a guy posting that being "bubbly and friendly" might be an indication of some non platonic intent. May I just say I think this idea is crazy? A normal man takes this as a sign that she is kind and sociable, which to me emphasizes a platonic intent. Sorry if I sound judgy.
@BashfulLoner I've taken a small step back and am trying to be more level headed. None of my comments were directed at you. Although as for the Netflix and Chill comments since it is a euphemism and the person in question said, "a little leg humping never hurt anybody" I'd have to say that one was a little...eeek.
I didn't appreciate the "teaching females" part and saying bubbly personalities are in essence sending signals. Men need to learn to interpret signals better. A mans failure to read a woman's signal is him hearing what he wants and proceeding anyway. It has nothing to do with us or what we wear. Its their preconceived notions about women and how we act which very very much aren't true.
It was victim blaming. It wasn't something I empathize with in the least and no one should be asking me to. That is the really messed up part. We are being asked to empathize with victim blaming no matter how 'well intentioned' the men in this forum seem to think it was. It was condescending and giving predators room. The fact that its being defended so vehemently is earnestly terrifying.
And I think all of you will find for a long time now the argument for what we wear and the signals you thought we were giving will still earn you a nice little jail cell.... so if the law says the point of view will get you time and women are saying its horrendous... where is the disconnect? Not with us.
Go tell a judge her skirt and bubbly personality made you do it. No? then why do you think its worthy of a single ounce of empathy?
Consent according to the law
Yes means yes. No means no. Maybe means no. Yes can become no at any time Verbal consent is required
Game over. That's it. Go home. You'd get time. So why do you think its appropriate to come here and say this?
Most of that wasn't directed at you Bashful it was me trying to avoid another post.
@BashfulLoner normally I'd agree that people's opinions are their own and everyone is allowed to interpret things as they wish. However, when your interpretation of a woman's picture is that someone has the right to take anything sexual from her (whether she wants to or not).....then, according to the literal law....you are wrong there.
In addition, if you propositioned her for anything sexual due to your "interpretation" of her picture.... it's also against the literal rules on here. So your personal "interpretation" would get you in trouble. Thus meaning that your wrong.
And it's insanely concerning that you continue to insist that...and continue trying to defend that stance 😬😬😬 Seriously predator perspective there.
@stormydaycuddle Right! This is basically where the breakdown is happening. That a man could never ever....ever ...understand what we're talking about here and thus can only give advice from their own life experiences. I think there's also a healthy dose of ego and entitlement mixed in, which is why some don't want to even TRY to see things differently.....that's super scary!
And that some are insisting OVER and over that being a happy human perosn (bubbly) or some arbitrary type of clothing we wear somehow means they can do what they want.... seriously JAIL!! What the actual F !? I can't even
@RedFox16
That a man could never ever....ever ...understand what we're talking about here
Beautifully put. A man cannot have the same perspective or experience as a woman. Biology makes the woman. Not the clothing. Not the make-up.