I attended a sexual harassment seminar today, and one of the archetypes was the "Accidental" Harasser. I couldn't help but think of stories heard here. "Woops...whoopsies, I just accidentally full hand grabbed your boob."
@SunsetSnuggles lol please use Dad or Father lol No shotgun, I'm Spanish I carry *insert Spanish stereotype * Lol
@Drewski1138 Smh accidental? Pssshhh
How has your experience been as a woman enthusiast on CC?
My experience has been pretty good so far, I haven't acquired multiple cuddle partners at the moment since my joining in February 2023. But, I do enjoy the discussion forums and have enjoyed reading and learning from other cuddlers here on CC.😊
What are some things that make you respond to messages/set up a cuddle session?
A polite introduction of oneself helps, but I don't always get that...So!🤷♀️
Also, showing a genuine interest in getting acquainted with me without being "overly eager" to cuddle with me especially in the first message. 😏
What are some red flags in profiles and messages?
Lol! Ohh so many red flags to see...Let me tell ya!🙄😆
I'll share one red flag that I see, is cuddlers with incomplete profile information. To Me, that's a red flag and I won't bother with responding back to cuddlers who message me with "empty profiles".😌
@Drewski1138 100%. I've had guys try to slide down from my back or hip to my butt and when I redirect their hand they always go, "Oops, sorry!" as if they had nooooo idea their hand was drifting. 🙄😒🤮 Having my intelligence insulted is the cherry on top...do they honestly think we believe that crap? sigh
~ Sunset Snuggles
@SunsetSnuggles starts sharpening knives
@Jova114 What's the table reference ? ty.
@cylee1180 dang it lol It's from wrestling. This tag team that was known for putting opponents through tables. One would go to the other "D'Von........GET THE TABLES!!!"
@Jova114 That's funny. I just remember the rockers and the demolition team.
@cylee1180 Legends. But ok I'll take your lead on dealing with these boundary pushers.
GET THE TABLES!!!!!
@Jova114 Loved The Dudley Boys! 😍
They were so entertaining and fun to see back in day!😆
Bubba: DEVON!
Devon: What?!
Bubba: GET THA TABLE!
Classic!😁
@Katota YESSSS!!!!!!! So let's put these boundary pushers through some tables!!!
@Jova114 It's a team effort! no bigs.
@SunsetSnuggles If that's the best course of action, call me the magician David Cop-a-feel.
@cylee1180 Ok that Cop-a-feel line was pretty good. Lol I'll give you that
@Jova114 I used to have to really like magic and noticed David Copperfield always chose women volunteers and was very touchy feely.
@Jova114 haha I guess I'm not racist, I don't know what the stereotypical weapon would be.
@cylee1180 hahaha Nice one!
Okay but if we're gonna get wrestlers involved, can't Mysterio 619 some guys for me?
@SunsetSnuggles From the top ropes!
"When the mask's out, the girls, they pass out; the boys just black out, better tap out!" 😄
Can I get a hell yeah!
@Jova114 Maybe we should just troll, expose, and harass boundary pushers on the forum or insulant misogynists. Cape and boots and all lol.
@SunsetSnuggles lol well knives would be my weapon of choice but if we bringing wrestling into this than a steel chair is a classic!
@cylee1180 Realistically that's all we can do. I just hate that option cause they just get banned and make a new profile -__-
You know, maybe encouraging everyone more to use the forums, and making it easier to look up users’ posts on the forums, would be a good way to combat some of the issues. It would be another layer of investigation potential cuddle buddies could use to get to know a person. Your personality usually comes out in your forum posts.
@Drewski1138 I totally agree. I did make a suggestion in the "ways to improve the site" thread that a portion of someone's profile shows a 'Recent Forum Activity ' section so you can go to threads that person has commented on.
But there is still tons of people that don't participate in forum activities. Usually those with bad intentions try to fly under the radar.
But I still agree with encouraging more forum activity.
@Concordiaesque I'm a guy and I messaged a female enthusiast who seemed to be confused as to why I would delay sharing contact info like phone numbers as a courtesy for her. I was confused and thinking maybe she's just trolling me?
@Drewski1138 @SunsetSnuggles Spoilering this response as it goes into dating and misogyny a bit.
I'm guessing this sort of behavior probably comes from the culture of dating and boundaries. I've very little experience in dating (not that cuddling is dating) and I've asked some male friends for advice. They mentioned things like if they reject the first kiss, you can keep trying, there are yellow nos and orange nos and red nos, just stop at a red no. I was told about the hand wondering thing too, same thing applies the yellow, orange and red nos, to keep trying but stop only if you see a red no. I even asked one of my friend's girlfriends for advice, and even she said that persistence is often rewarded by women
@sunnysideup ugh...thank you for sharing. I get the opposite here, in fact I literally just received (with no other introductory message) someone's phone number with the message "msg me, I want to cuddle" I'm often confused by ppl's messages to me on this site, lol.
I think you are correct, it comes from dating culture (and also social media), and (lack of) boundaries. We aren't TAUGHT how to openly communicate with each other or what consent really means. We are taught to read signs and I don't just mean for men reading women's signs, but women aren't taught how to express their boundaries or give clear signs to others. We are given mixed messages from childhood on how to react to attention, and it is expected we tease and flirt and indicate interest through body language instead of learning how to use our words effectively.
I'm completely oversimplifying here, but I think oftentimes women are lumped into two categories, sluts or prudes and in general, men manipulate that and pressure women, whereas women may not want to appear too eager or interested (and therefore labeled a slut) so they play hard to get - which leads to the idea that persistence is rewarded. All of this is strictly observation, and is purely my perspective (as I also have very little experience dating), but there are so many different understandings of how to get to know a person. Coupled with the fact that not a lot of people have basic emotional intelligence, and it's all a bunch of clueless people just stumbling around trying to figure out what works and hoping the recipient of their message is receptive?
@sunnysideup It's that old mindset 'better to ask for forgiveness than for permission '
There is a right kind of persistence and a wrong kind. To indicate there is a spectrum of colors as opposed to just red and green saddens me. No means no.
(Not attacking you, just commenting on the mindset you shared with us, I hope it doesn't come off as an attack to you)
@Jova114 will you stop attacking people already? :P
@Concordiaesque attacks
@Jova114 Understood, you are just calling that mentality sick. I do my best to respect boundaries when meeting people and only go for clear greens. But yeah, I was just sharing that there seems to be a culture problem regarding boundaries and what is considered to be okay.
That culture needs to change.
@Concordiaesque Sorry , but I'm sure you're not alone and I've heard from many women on this site they get countless rude, baseless messages for every decent one.
Yes, I am often told that women have sexual desires, but the 'prudes' often do not express it because of fear of being judged, so it is the guy's job on a date to be persistent and a slut and act like sex is his idea so the woman can consent at some point and in this way the woman has a good time because she is able to enjoy herself without it looking like her idea, and therefore is still a 'prude'. Unfortunately, I hear stories of how guys do this because they are rewarded with sex, and the women encourage it buy rewarding them with sex. Again, this is often what I am told from others and not how I act.
@sunnysideup Yes. The culture needs to change! I understand that color spectrum was brought up in a dating concept, but when someone has that mindset it doesn't stop there and bleeds into a site like this. The thought that there are levels to 'no' on a platonic cuddle blows my mind. We all have needs, I totally understand that. But I don't go to Taco Bell for hamburgers.