Thinking about leaving. That’s probably a song, right?
@carrieanne you better take me with you or I'm gonna stow away in your glove box
Where is everyone off to?
A couple weeks ago it finally sunk in to my heart that I needed to accept the fact that a former friend has walked out of my life. I have a sense of loss, but also a sense of accomplishment, that I've healed enough in life so as to begin learning how to let go.
Hmmm...just got something resolved...I at least hope so. Basically part of my work is supplying staff and to work together with the people in charge at each place staff gets sent to. I am only slightly above them but not enough to fire them. I can still give them some orders but usually in the beginning when sending them staff unless they fail to listen then it can be ongoing which only happened once recently. My initial contact with them was terrible even. Rude people in general and I felt bad about having to send staff to them. At first they're like we don't like the extra help so not sure why we are told to have you give us staff because if we had a choice we'd just do our own thing. I was like well OUR boss needs it this way since you are shortstaffed and need the help. We set everything up then. The staff schedule and so on before I inform my staff their work schedule there. Day one for the staff didn't go well either. I was hoping the supervisors there were only rude when they were with me but no. Staff reports that on day one they made it loud and clear that they didn't want them there. What a way to welcome guests right? Just sets a bad vibe from the start. I apologize to the staff and say that I will chat with them. They play dumb while still being rude. Next day they attack the staff. By attack I mean they secretly changed their schedule without my knowledge since they had a schedule that I made with the supervisors before their first day. Schedule change is not the real problem. It was that they changed their job description basically. Imagine like that someone got hired as a teacher but then the school says you are now the cleaning crew so go clean the campus instead. Imagine how well the staff took that that they are their cleaners. I try one more time to talk with the supervisors since they must listen to me. They say we don't care what you say we won't change it because we're in charge now. I'm like ok I understand. Our boss comes in and tells them to change the schedule right now and to have me verify it is good. They changed it so fast to something that was even better than our original schedule lol. I approved it and they were told by our boss not to mess with it again and to work together with others and to be respecful. So far so good. But now I am hearing that someone heard them say that after it all dies down they will start changing the schedule slowly. I really hope they leave things as is because they're only going to get themselves fired. Maybe in court too. Since there is a signed contract. Plus, I don't want the staff to be mistreated again and for them to know I have their back if some people try to make their life difficult. Ok, I'm done ranting.
@Amortentia it’s awesome you protected people. Not a lot of people care that much. 🤗🤗🤗🤗 I hope they do get fired if they act like that again.
Life of a gambler and the lonliness . You degrade your life slowly like a slow poison.
By the time you realise you would have lost everything you had owned or wished for it . Your friends look you down and you start pitying yourself and doubting yourself more ..
@SamtheHealer sorry you’re going through that Sam. Hope the gambler part gets cured so things could fall back into place again.
I have an ex that I’ve remained good friends with and I offer weekly get-togethers where we usually have a meal and a long discussion about all kinds of things (mainly work and personal problems relating to non-romantic relationships). It’s a nice vent sesh that we both benefit from. He also suffers from a personality disorder that I will not name, but I’m sure a few could guess and be right. Fact is, I treasure our relationship (with boundaries) despite the fact that being romantically involved is completely off the table. I can’t imagine my life without his presence, just… not every day and all the time. Unfortunately his behavior can be a bit toxic and I have Fibromyalgia (which I’ve explained to him in depth) and when he has a tough time, I try to be supportive, but at the same time, I can’t overload my central nervous system with stress, so I tend to pull away with the increasing severity of his “episodes”. I work in behavior health, so I know once he has escalated past a certain point, it’s futile anyways and I could possibly agitate him further. I usually catch up with him when he is on the decent. This time though…. I just don’t know. If there was a line to cross, I think this is it… and it’s not the first time, so I’m recognizing the pattern ☹️ After one of our lunches we were standing together, saying goodbye and finishing up when he ran his finger, not lightly, down my neck bone all the way down my boob, almost to my nipple! I was wearing a lower cut dress, but no excuse! He stammered and said sorry, that he liked the dress I was wearing, and that I had recently been talking about my body (we are aging) and that it was his AUTISM (he has never been diagnosed or even indicated that he thought he has ever had autism). Way out of left field! I scoffed and told him how unacceptable his behavior was and made my exit. Ridiculous but I chose to overlook the issue because, seriously, he knows how stupid it was. But several days later he came at me kind of funny and so I asked him if it was about what had happened. He completely denied the whole thing and genuinely acted like I was throwing a false allegation at him. This is not the first time he has tried to make me believe something didn’t happen, but this is kindof a big thing to try and sweep under the rug. I’ll wait to remind him that people saw the entire exchange, they monitor the parking lot with a camera AND we go there so much that people know and recognize us. I’m just thinking though, after so many years, this is still just a very exhausting friendship sometimes. Long vent, but a lot of complex emotions. No solutions necessary, things evolve naturally and I’m so here for it.
I have had a hard week. I am in such emotional pain I can't even type the words of what is going on. I want to share, but if it is written, then I will have to face the facts othat what has gone on this week is real. And there will be a permanent reminder in cyber-world to taunt me. And I just need someone to hold me right now.
@JoyfulHeart I can empathize with that and sorry to hear- that can definitely be rough when you lose that close connection that was meaningful. I think it’s definitely harder on the caring/empathic types, so am always open to sending comforting vibes your way- I understand!
@4bearhugs i would hug you and be there just to share space or to listen!
@SamtheHealer extra hugs your way! I can understand. You are worthy.
@PlatinumIrisPNW i can understand that must be an exhausting relationship/connection to uphold. Sending support your way! You know your truth.
@Jasmineluvshugs Thank you for your empathy and kind words.
@PrettyLuv
"I felt that @Lovelight . I used to handwrite notes to my ex all the time and then throw it away. It helped somewhere though somehow. Hope you find solace."
Thank you! I shall try to send you some when I find it lol. Because sharing is caring.
🤗 sweet @Lovelight
@4bearhugs whatever it is, I hope the turbulence in your life clears for you soon.
I never talk about my personal life anywhere but I am really depressed. My birthday is in two days, I cut off so many people who were just using me. I've never felt so alone, never felt so pushed. I wasted so much money trying to be the friend I never had and I'm sobbing every night. I'm literally 24, like that feels so old but it's not. All the positivity bullshit is so fake and I genuinely feel like they are scams. You don't just take a deep breath and wow the day is better like... I'm really tired of forcing myself to wake up everyday.
Thanks for feeling comfy enough to share @CCurvycuddles 🤗 I'm sorry to hear how alone you feel so close to your birthday, but I'm glad to hear you found the inner strength and courage to cut out some of the toxic people in your life. That can be hard to do sometimes. I hope that despite how lonely you're feeling today that you do have a nice birthday and that things start looking up for you! And if you feel like your depression is getting worse, don't be afraid to ask for help from someone trained in helping people manage depression. It's okay to not be okay and to lean on others for support. Take care.
It doesn't feel like there's much left in me to keep it together for the people I care about. I'm rarely present in my body, and I can't perpetually exist in a state of fragmentation. I wish somebody would've told me about the cognitive decline and dissociation that can come with grief.
I’m finding it difficult to keep a job because of my poor social skills. I pretty much always assume people are talking about me or ganging up on me and I make rude or suspicious comments
I'm not feeling festive this year nor in the holiday spirit.
I tried to message a friend from the site the other day and saw she had blocked me . We have been friends ever since she joined and have communicated a lot and I’ve even been to her home a couple times and saw each other at a community meet up not long ago . I don’t care if a random interwebs stranger blocks me , in fact I am sure it happens all the time without me knowing. But when it’s someone you consider a friend and there are no negative interactions or words leading up then it does sting a bit . I suppose I did something. I just don’t know what . 🤷♀️
I need to talk about the parents who line up at school over an hour early to pick their kids up ... good lord, what's wrong with letting the little urchins wait a few minutes to get picked up? I'll park half a block away and walk to the school to get my kid on the days that I need to do a pickup, but most days there's this great thing called a "school bus" and I can just wait out in the front yard for it to show up.
Hey @pmvines - I'm sorry to hear about what happened. It's always sucks a lot more when it's someone we've known and connected with. Like you said, with strangers, it's easier to let go, but with a friend, it leaves us puzzled and questioning. It's normal to feel hurt and to start second-guessing yourself a bit more. But try not to be too hard on yourself - it's just one of those things that you may never know the "why" behind. You've still got a lot of friends on here and people who have got your back. Best wishes!
I've been in such a bad state of loneliness for such a long time. I have no one to talk to during the day and it's starting to affect me physically and mentally. I feel anxious and depressed all the time and it's exhausting.
My parents (approaching 60 years old) are going through what is at least the first "open" serious rift in their marriage after almost 40 years. I'm sure that there have been plenty of disagreements and trying times behind the scenes but in this case, my siblings and I are all aware and privy to details. They haven't separated at this time and are seeking counseling, but even as an adult seeing your parents struggle with their relationship is jarring. It's difficult in the sense that while you can lay some fault on one party, you still love and want to support them both as individuals and as a couple, especially when they're also trying to work things out, and I'm finding that emotionally and mentally draining. Particularly navigating how to provide the right support to each parent while still respecting the needs and feelings of the other. Hoping that they can both be happy, ideally together but happy either way, just tough not feeling like there's much you can do to help the people you care about most.
@thearcher That’s because monogamy and romantic forever love aree false constructs. Things change immensely over time and while you can find exceptions you never know if those exceptions are out of obligation or sheer stubbornness. The things people are taught and believe in are rarely done with their true happiness in mind.