Account Deleted Why?

WrenMaxwell82WrenMaxwell82
in General

I was having very therapeutic conversations with someone who's account was abruptly deleted. I saw in the notice that this might be because he voluntarily deleted it, or it was deleted for violating terms of service. He shared a mobile number with me, which I still have, but never used. Is there a way to find out if a deleted account was deleted for violating terms of service? I would personally consider that a red flag, and it would make me think twice about reaching out through his mobile number. Thanks for your advice.

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    If deleted due to TOS they would be showing as banned not deleted . Likely they just decided for some reason or another that the site wasn’t for them which happens quite frequently

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    Nope, he voluntarily deleted it. Because if it was deleted due to a violation, then it would be banned, not deleted.

  • TxTomTxTom

    If you still have his number, then reach out and ask him. (You might want to use a Google Voice number or burner phone.)

    Or, just move on.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited November 2023

    I think I have seen accounts suspended, paused, banned, deleted, deactivated, and in time out, among other statuses. (Muted… ?)

    Deleted is the permanent removal of one’s own account. (Although I hear a person can “undelete” within 30 days. And deactivated is the temporary version of the same

    I know banned means they violated a term of service of the site.

    Sometimes that boils down to “couldn’t tone it down when posting in the forums” (where the “it” might be hostility toward an individual, or a group, or zealous proselytising on behalf of a specific religion, belief, or political stance).

    I gather a time out is a temporary ban for something like falling behind on your dues.

    But I am less clear about other terms. Is there a site glossary somewhere? If so, can someone link us to it?

    Thank you.

    🙉

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    I don't think his phone will spontaneously explode if you text him, but if it does , I hope somebody posts that on Tiktok...

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited November 2023

    Being banned doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad person. I know several banned people and they most certainly are people I'm very happy to know. But they did break the terms of service.

    So if you have the person's number, message them. People who delete are often very hurt or upset, so they may appreciate a message from you.

  • [Deleted User]HumbleBaron (deleted user)

    They chose to take a break?

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @CuddleDuncan quality and helpful replies are appreciated by some people, I imagine.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    @CuddleDuncan I actually agree with you. That is very well said.

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    It can be tricky to know why ....and a lot of times, it seems like maybe it happens because a person wasn't prepared for some of the more confusing aspects of a cuddle site (that's not a bad thing at all....just a human thing).

    They indeed might be grateful to be checked in on, and you can always step back if they ask you to, but at least they know you thought about them!

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Agreed, sounds like they deleted and were not banned. I would reach out through text, if you enjoyed their company. They likely foresaw not staying here long, and that's why they shared their number.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • cheeseboycheeseboy Mod
    edited December 2023

    [moderator response]
    Deleting or deactivating, and then undoing that to send more messages before deleting again is annoying when they are trying to have a conversation but you can't reply. I've seen this used in situations where someone is trying to avoid detection by a partner - the site does not send email notifications in this situation (there are other, better ways to turn off notifications).

    Paused is a suspension of some sort - either for age verification, identity check, pro-upgrade, or the site failed to charge a booking % fee (pro account) (most common). These accounts will come back if they correct the issue. How long they are paused for depends on the response time of the user.

    Timeout is exactly that, enacted by a moderator/admin, they will be back in a week or two.

    Muted - if you want to hide yourself from search results but still use all of the other functionality of the site (forums, browsing profiles, sending messages), you can mute your profile. Muted profiles can still be found through message history or direct link.

    Banned - they broke the terms of service in a way that caused their account to be closed by a moderator/admin. Some banned accounts submit an appeal, of which a small percentage get a second chance.

    Username change - a direct URL to their old username will redirect to their new username. Username changes have a 365 day wait period before you can change it again. There is no visible indicator that a user has changed their name, other than the name on the pre existing conversation in your inbox will change to the new name.

    Hope this helps.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Thank you.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited November 2023

    Just my 2 cents... For me, someone exchanging contact info and then deleting their account without any explanation would be a yellow flag at least, more likely a red flag.

    While it could be completely innocent "oh, I've found a cool person, I don't need the site any more", I'm more willing to bet either 1) like @cheeseboy said they are trying to hide their activity on the site (a problem in and of itself for me) and going about it a weird way, or 2) they are trying to get people to contact them off site ASAP to avoid detection from mods and have non-platonic intentions. At the very least, I'd be really leery of contacting them off site. It'd be one thing if they were upfront and honest with me about their deletion before it happened, since we were having such good conversations ("hey, I'm going to be closing my account, would you like to keep in contact off site?"). It's another when it's left to me to guess at their intentions and so it feels pressured and like manipulation - or like maybe the conversation wasn't actually going as well as I had thought.

  • HollydollhugsHollydollhugs

    I had someone message me asking about a session, every time I went to respond to them, afterward they deleted their account, then would come back on and comment then delete again. That went in for about 4 times. I finally asked why were they deleting their account every time they responded. I got no answer.
    Definitely a red flag and they stopped messaging.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    I agree with @cuddlefaery . If I’m going to deactivate for a bit, I let those know that I’m in an active conversation with what I am doing. I would do the same if I deleted my account.

  • Mre_usMre_us

    Hey @cheeseboy thar was really helpful! I wasn’t aware of a lot of that.

    How does someone change their username? I wasn’t aware that was an option.

    Also, I’m one of those guys who had an account, chickened out and deleted it for 6-12 months and then came back, but my original name wasn’t available so I added a 2.

    Is there a certain amount of time needed before a name can be available again or is it one and done?

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    I would be cautious of members saying they are happy to know banned members 🤔. We have had some peeps banned for very horrible reasons and I think anyone here should be extra careful with a member stating that they are still “happy “ to know them still ! SMH 🤦‍♂️. Details details! I would definitely want to know details about a situation like this !

    Also it’s been mentioned somewhat briefly by mods and others but the delete feature is not entirely the end of a membership here ! It’s a gray area that doesn’t get discussed much and is ripe for confusion!

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    This is the best roundtable over a text message. lol

  • WrenMaxwell82WrenMaxwell82

    I emailed him, and he sent a reply, stating that 60 seconds before deleting his account, he sent me his email and number and informed me that he was deleting his account bevause he wasn't interested in talking to anyone else on CC but me. He then went on to say he was really excited to meet me and he didn't know where this was going, but he wanted nothing more than to sit beside me and watch a sunset. (In many words. Which seems typical for him).

    I replied as kindly as possible that I thought he should keep his CC account and that I was concerned he is more lonely than he claims, and that he is staking a lot of hope on me (when I was explicit in my profile and all my messages that I am on this site to cope with heartbreak, but am not capable of returning affection at the moment). I did not indicate that I wanted to end the communication or even rule out meeting. But then he responded, sounding very offended and nasically indicating he thought i wanted to cut things off, and so he was saying goodbye. I sent a message to try to clear things up, but he has not responded.

    Ugh.... I dont know what to do. I didn't want to hurt him. I think he's very lonely. But I'm also worried I might be just waving off some big red flags. I've missed them before in the long past and it has landed me in dangerous places.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited November 2023

    @WrenMaxwell82 Over reading and being overly sensitive is definitely a sign of deep self-esteem issues and unresolved past issues. While there are no universal timelines , I do think that I hadn't fretted like that over a new connection since my early 20s - where I created fantasies in my head about how things would turn out, or would be overly emotional about the getting to know each otherprocess, or would cast too high of hopes on too little information. If I were you , I'd let it go otherwise either you'll be pulled in deep or take sympathy on it and act as the nurturer role.

    Best of luck on healing. Heartache stinks.

    @cuddlefaery Spot on!

  • cde123cde123

    Hi @WrenMaxwell82, this hot-cold treatment shows up in cases of emotional abuse because it promotes inappropriate bonding through fear-reward cycles. Claiming he only wants to talk to you sounds like love-bombing, which is also a sign. I'd recommend doing some active research, recognizing that even people in legitimate need can be abusive, and it's not your responsibility to be present for them.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Based off his response it sounds like he has become infatuated and wanting more than platonic cuddling

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Maybe too soon, or maybe...

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @WrenMaxwell82 this absolutely reeks of emotional manipulation, even if he is doing it unintentionally (which I am not convinced of). Scammers will use the same urgency tactic to pressure victims into responding on their timeline instead of taking the time to actually think through what they're doing. Abusive people will also do the same thing, love-bombing and making someone feel like the center of their attention and then suddenly hinging everything on an impulsive action to test how quickly you jump when they say.

    After being raised to be an extreme people pleaser with no-boundaries, I really struggled with getting used and abused repeatedly until I learned to stop responding to the common tactics. Frankly, the way I've learned now to see it is that if you're feeling that gut uneasiness now, are not sure now, then how is it conceivably going to "get better" with time? The start should be the easiest part, not throwing red flags for you to ignore or excuse away.

    Obviously I'm not in your head and inbox, we don't have the full story ... But this sounds like classic manipulative behavior even if he's just an extremely lonely person who never learned a healthier way to cope. You don't deserve to be someone's emotional punching bag while they work on getting better. See how he responds to a hard boundary around your communication preference - if he can't respect that and tries to weasel for concessions on something so early on, he absolutely will not respect your boundaries later.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited November 2023

    @WrenMaxwell82 block him before he plays any more mind games with you. Don’t fall into that it can be hard to get out of. Hugs.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    He sounds like a card carrying incel.

  • Mike403Mike403

    It's easy for some guys to feel emotionally attached to someone on a site like this especially if they are new to cuddling. Being cuddled by somebody can trick their brain into thinking that their cuddle partner has stronger feelings than they actually do.

  • cheeseboycheeseboy Mod

    @sofaking2 - from the home page or any profile page, click on the round pic of you (or placeholder image) in the top right corner and you can change your username or email address on the settings page. Once a username has been used, it can't be reused by someone else.

    Sorry for the long reply time, I typed this out but never hit post.

  • Mre_usMre_us

    @cheeseboy thanks!

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