@RedFox16 😂😂😂😂 @jplemmon is my OG arch nemesis (turned bestie) Ballads have been written about the throw downs we used to have. I will admit he’s much better at holding it in than I am these days.
It's only temporary lol. I was experiencing a bug related to not being able to book when under forum timeout. While it gets worked on, it seems I had to be allowed access. Figured I should mix things up a tad while I'm at it hehe.
Funny the divergence between commanders and poll results. 17/60 people having relationships spawn from cuddling is not insignificant. Maybe not normal, per se, but that’s 1 in every 3.5 people who’ve answered.
Oh, I've heard all the ballads and seen the war memorial too! Very inspirational @stormydaycuddle 😎😉
@UplandCuddle well, that's just the people who have chosen to answer that poll. I did not, and neither did most of the others who contributed to the more than 900 views on this thread. Not only that, but how many people are even on this site? That's definitely not representative and should not be taken as such nor should anyone be insinuating it's true from that weak data....as I explain the reasons below.
@jplemmon Yes, we don't live in a vacuum and any time there is a gathering of people with any sort of similarities, there will be some level of relationships coming from it. Workplace, bars, hiking, etc
But like @stormydaycuddle said....shining a spotlight on the sparse few that result here, can put it more into into people's minds in an unhealthy way. Causing some to think it's typical and then intentionally come here looking for a relationship. And sometimes, with those who are feeling especially vulnerable (which happens, because of the nature of this site), it might cause them to attempt to forge a relationship with someone unwilling or "see" signs of a relationship that aren't really there (because of the cuddle chemicals).
Vulnerable people might try this with other vulnerable people....or clients with pros who are worried about backlash from paying clients. So, then.... That can result in what you described. nd imbalance of power which is ethically wrong....even if not illegal.
It's not something that should be talked about on the threads where new (or especially vulnerable) members will read it and get the impression that finding a relationship (or living happily ever after) is normal and could happen to them as well. And I mean "could" in a way that implies a high percentage....and not simply a rare occurrence.
Glad you're back for a few tho! 😎😎😎
Probably the last thing I'd want, personally.
Can someome just poops already
I guess I'm not the biggest fan of crafting content in a way that may or may not give people the wrong impression. We can always flesh out the reality of the topic without hiding it. Anyways, that's my view. Im sleepy.
@SunsetSnuggles and @RedFox16:
I genuinely forgot I’d posted about this very thing two months ago! Then, as now, I only visit this site whenever someone sends me a message: if someone is kind enough to write I’ll respond…
Also, to @SunsetSnuggles, I honored the commitment I made to this site, and kept our appointment platonic. We didn’t even kiss until nearly a month later…
@jplemmon thank you for your kind words: that’s exactly how I saw this. We met through cuddling, but it wasn’t cuddling that has us in a relationship, it’s common interests and values. We just happened to meet in an unconventional place…
I posted this as a, well, a question maybe? I did not (and I cannot emphasize this enough, I DID NOT!!) come to cuddling with the intention of finding a girlfriend. In fact, it was quite the opposite: I had just recently gotten out of a 12 year long marriage, and I was desperate for human connection of any kind, since all of my friends had left along with my wife. It was a very sad time full of a lot of pain for me. Due to my relationship problems I’d lost my job, my brother had committed suicide and, oh yeah, a terrible divorce… I just needed another human being. I wasn’t even looking for a woman, heck I would’ve cuddled with a guy even though I’m straight…
It just seems so weird to me, even now: this site is not about dating, it’s not about anything other than platonic connection, and yet somehow the universe conspired to introduce me to a woman who happened to be in a situation very similar to my own. It was unexpected and something neither of us were looking for… and yet here we are, five months in.
@thisisamazing I appreciate your comment and explanation! That was brave of you.... and beautifully written 🤗
I think that will actually help so much when others read this thread too. That you clarified that you both even understood that it was not at all intended and wholely unexpected to find a relationship here. Which, I promise I was/am not at all against happening....just trying to help others understand
I truly apologize for taking your OP the wrong way as well. I (and others who commented) just know personally how tricky it can be for people to wrap their minds around platonic cuddling in the first place....let alone giving newbies the impression that it can be used as a dating site. Especially as a paid cuddler. So please forgive my long replies 😏
I do genuinely wish you guys (or anyone) who is able to find happiness the very best....no matter where they find it!! Finding someone is a beautiful thing and isn't bad 💕 Thanks again!
As stated, this site is for cuddles. if platonic cuddling is your only avenue for dating, then I suggest folks broaden their social circles, do some crunches, and get a haircut. 🧑✈️🕺
Anyone looking for that should not go seeking platonic cuddling. It just ruins the purpose.
I had one client on his first session mention that he wanted to ask me out on a date. You have no idea how that was just messed up. All I have to say to such is that there is a reason why I am a pro here and not wasting time on Tinder or something. It is to avoid that nonsense in the first place.
@Minestrone101 people meet through many avenues. Did anyone say it was their only one? People meet in the grocery store when they are looking for a deal on rib roast. I think it would be sad for anyone to miss out on a rare opportunity just because some website says so. But hey, that's me.
@jplemmon I think we're maybe not debating the same question.
No one here is trying to insist that meeting an SO never happens on here (or at the store), we're saying that it shouldn't be people's intent or expectation when they come here....just like it wouldn't be someone's intent or expectation to meet your future partner when you go to the grocery store each week. And it should never be anyone's intent or expectation when they set up cuddle sessions with others.
Having different intentions or wildly different expectations of a cuddle buddy turns a session into sort of like a bait-and-switch situation where one person is being somewhat deceptive with their motives going into the session (or at least it can feel that way).
It can also feel like you're being blind-sided when that happens and it's not fair to the person who is fully just expecting cuddles ....to then suddenly have it feel like a date and the intense pressure that comes with handling that big change in situation. 😞
People are opening themselves up and being vulnerable when they agree to cuddle with complete strangers....and the paid cuddlers even more so since we tend to accept sessions with much less messaging back and forth (so we don't know our cuddle buddy as well). It's not fair to suddenly get thrust into a much more complicated situation than we prepared for (besides meeting up with and cuddling with a complete stranger). And then the added issue of worrying about our safety when we're alone with that stranger, since it's hard to predict how someone will react to feeling rejected (even if it's fully justified and logical). 🤷🏻♀️
No one is saying that finding a partner is bad....at all. And no one is saying that it never happens (look at OP). We're just saying to please don't give the impression that people should even remotely expect it... or go into session with the intent of turning your cuddle buddy into a boyfriend/girlfriend. And definitely don't use this site to find someone to date.....that's not what it's for and it's rather like a betrayal of trust.
Meh.
@RedFox16 💯
Well expressed, @RedFox16
If it happens, it happens. If both people are consenting, why not?
@MrMarkAndrew That's not the issue. The issue is discussing which creates the expectation that it will happen...and when you're in point blank range with a lady in a private space.... she may want to feel safe and not feel like being asked out, grabbed, made a move on, or given a sexual invitation (where there is a real danger in saying "no"). If two pple like each other and there's consent and communication, no harm no foul. Unfortunately , with some of the eq floating around here, the former is probably more of the rule than the exception.
@jplemmon That's the thing, people SHOULD be meeting pple in other places than here. That is socially healthy. If cuddling is people's only social outlets, then they're going to want it to satiate all of their social needs: hanging out, touch quota, romance, and sex. And there's the problem :
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18637/poll-does-a-persons-attractiveness-level-affect-your-decision-to-cuddle-them/p1
@RedFox16 preach do not instigate other people looking for hookups and love on this site I'm in a relationship already and don't intend on finding some one on this site.
Platonic means platonic and I really think that when people read this they going to think dates are part of what this site is. I have a hard enough time weeding out the guys as it is .
There are a lot of emotionally imbalanced people with social, emotional, self esteem, and attachment issues. Sites like this tend to attract them like bugs to fly paper. So I honestly don't even consider it advisable to entertain a relationship from here because there is a better than average likelihood of either or even both parties being terrible for each other.
I think people just overthink things a bit on here and have allowed CC to be something more than what it is...just a website that allows people to meet each other. I don't think people reading this thread would get any impression that it's a dating site....they are getting mostly anti-dating responses and if they read what I'm seeing, most would be discouraged.
I don't like pushing information underground and hiding it. People are not triggered by informative discussions. They are triggered by one-sided misinformation. If I were coming to this thread for the first time and reading what has been written so far I would see that love connections can happen but that it's likely a bad idea. The are pros and cons, mostly cons. But we don't need to hide the fact that some people occasionally do connect.
Don't let CC run your life folks. It is just a website. Enjoy the people that you are allowed to meet on here. Let those meetings develop into whatever it develops into.
@Minestrone101 you and I don’t agree, which is fine with me. Have a great evening.
@MrMarkAndrew 💯 For sure.
This isn’t a dating site. It’s cringy when people talk about cuddlers falling in love. But. It’s fine for pros to offer to be a paid +1 and arm candy (a term used on too many profiles) Without cuddling. It’s fine for pros to offer to be a paid date. Without cuddling. It’s fine for pros to offer to be a paid travel companion. Without cuddling. Please remember, this isn’t a dating site.
There are a lot of emotionally imbalanced people with social, emotional, self esteem, and attachment issues. Sites like this tend to attract them like bugs to fly paper.
For reals?
@cocoabomb Actually it's not fine for Pro's to list companionship services, without cuddling. Cuddling is always meant to be the main focus. The site owner wrote a recent clarification on this subject:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/16723/secondary-services-our-policy
I've never seen anyone use the term "arm candy", but rest assured that if you reported such verbiage, the mods would put that user in line.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@lonelytauros He's a candy cane, alright. 😜