Post Cuddle Advice?

JET2024JET2024
in General

Hello all;

Had my first professional cuddle today :)

It was really nice; I was very nervous but I was fairly quickly put at ease. I hope I was a good host and client.

Only downside is that having not having had cuddles for so long; there’s a difference between knowing that you miss it and experiencing it anew and then the lack of cuddling availability in your life feeling ‘sharper’ afterwards.

I’m not sure my bank account will be happy if I go nuts with Pro services too often; any advice from anyone who knows what I mean about how to manage this refreshed sense of something being missing?

Is letting the dullness/numbness settle back in the easiest way? Any tips?

Also no there are no active enthusiasts local to me that have enough information to pass my vetting/match my preferences at present.

Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    @JET2024 Congrats on your great Pro cuddle experience. And best of luck to you on fighting the acute cuddle addiction you'll no doubt experience like I have.

  • JubalJubal

    You're correct. Your bank account will not be happy. Learn to enjoy in moderation B)

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    I've had cuddle sessions with 2 pros. One was about 7 or 8 years ago, and while it was nice it wasn't fantastic. I tried it again about 2 years ago, and that was quite different. I experienced the same feelings you are now. The experience only hammered home exactly how cuddle starved and lonely I was. I haven't done a session since because I really don't want to feel that way again, despite that I know a lot would depend on how awesome a cuddler my partner is - in a way, a mediocre cuddler would be preferable. It is a sort of self-perpetuating cycle, though. You feel lonely and cuddle deprived, have an awesome cuddle session that temporarily alleviates that, and kind of feel worse afterwards because it reminds you what you don't get on a regular basis. I wish I knew of a solution, but have yet to figure one out, other than just trying to find an enthusiast so that your wallet doesn't suffer.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @JET2024 Yay!!! Maybe budget it. Try different ones so you don’t get attached. Do good self care before and after. When you see the high wears off, do hobbies you enjoy. Enjoy every day moments. Hugs 🤗

  • CelestialTouchCelestialTouch
    edited February 2024

    @jet2024
    I feel the need to eat chocolate, not just any chocolate, dark 85% somewhat bitter-sweet chocolate. Milk chocolate is no good. Death by Chocolate icecream will satisfy as well. Lock your money up somewhere so you cant withdraw it easily hehe, and exercise or going for walks/hiking frequently.

    @Vocalist100
    Thankyou for sharing, I think I understand. Maybe feels like losing a friend if you've shared that physical affection and they leave or dont come again without being paid to so I just dont see the difference between pros and enthusiasts anymore.

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    Glad you enjoyed your first cuddle! Here's a thread that might be helpful for you in the days after a cuddle ☺️☺️

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18575/cuddle-drop#latest

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @JET2024 Everybody’s right on this thread and everybody’s wrong too as ultimately everybody’s different. While I appreciate all my cuddlers and cuddles I generally just fall asleep afterwards without any cuddle withdrawals. I suppose I am fortunate in that sense as I don’t crawl in my head and obsess over when the next session will occur. Too much going on in my life to worry over what I really have little control over.

    But I can see why this would be an issue for some, but also how what ameliorated the issue for one person could aggravate it in another. I do agree with @Jubal though. If you are not one with a steady discretionary income stream you might want to develop some budget discipline, especially if you have addictive tendencies.

  • lesmis33lesmis33

    Due to my neurodivergence, I have an addictive personality. With cuddles, I am very much the same way. I control it though by compartmentalizing the experience I receive from a professional.

    You see, our monkey brains love stimuli and pattern recognition. If we focus too much on the joy the stimulus gives us, the experience will consume us as we will be chasing that inebriation indefinitely. Alternatively, if we focus on compartmentalizing our emotions we felt during and after the cuddle session, our monkey brain can utilize the high to learn something deeper about ourselves. In this essence, I view hiring a professional as medicinal in nature much like taking cough medicine when you have a sore throat. When going into the session, realize it is fleeting, but enjoy the time you have. Try to convince your mind of how your experience is ephemeral and then use the replenished vigor to focus on improving your life. Carry your newly embolden positivity and refreshed mindset into driving a better you whether it be at your job, in a hobby, or simply just mixing up your life.

  • softkatesoftkate

    I get a lot of my touch needs met outside of cuddling through things like social dancing, getting massages/pedicures, etc. None of that is free but I imagine it can end up lower cost than cuddling, and might have some benefits that cuddling doesn't offer.

    It's useful to know if touch in general is the thing you miss, or specifically cuddling, or specifically being a client/having someone entirely focus on your needs for a chunk of time; reflecting on the most compelling aspect to you might help you discover some alternatives.

  • theHugAlchemisttheHugAlchemist

    Social dancing... Take some Brazilian zouk classes, that helped my touch deprivation a TON! you're in Europe and the Zouk scene there is soooo good and super cuddly (or was last I was there)

  • KempistKempist

    One way not to go broke is to only see a professional cuddler who lives elsewhere but travels to your area every few months. If you find the right one, you might not care to meet any others.

  • TxTomTxTom

    ...our monkey brains love stimuli and pattern recognition.

    Yessss.
    Monkey see cuddle.
    Monkey do cuddle.
    Monkey want more cuddle.

  • JET2024JET2024

    Thanks for the advice all; looks like I’ll need to build in some sort of coping mechanism. Figures that you can’t just enjoy something good without there being some sort of whiplash.

    @softkate and @coregulate social dancing and Brazilian Zouk is an interesting idea; I’d be kind of worried that an unpartnered guy showing up would just be assumed to be a creep though. Massages can be nice (I have one occasionally as they help with my back) but they haven’t scratched the same itch as cuddling.

    @RedFox16 thanks for the link to the other thread; this all might be a candidate for a FAQ.

    @CelestialTouch i like your thinking; I’ll go look for some chocolate. Valentine’s Day is coming up so I believe a large tub of ice cream is traditional food for around now anyway ;)

    @CuddleHugs01234 and all yes I suspect budgeting might be an idea. So many things that are a good idea to spend on though; therapist, gym classes, cuddles argh looking after your mental health sure is expensive!

    Thanks for everyone else’s advice also; I suspect I am going to struggle with the addictive side of this. I’ll have to experiment with what aftercare if any works to take the edge off; or maybe if it becomes less acute if the experience is less novel after repeat exposure.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    You could rewrite your About section to appeal to enthusiasts. Mine has been through 3 or 4 rewrites. Some advice I got from a cuddler here was to talk up front, in a paragraph or so, about how I became a cuddler. Then talk about what I have to offer, and then close with what I expect.

    I counted 66 female enthusiasts within 50 miles of you.

    Also, consider using AI to help with your messaging. AI can write a full paragraph in response to a blank profile. I will drop and entire profile into ChatGPT. I then put what AI gives me into my voice. Everything I write before meeting someone is strictly to consider the "possibility of a cuddle." I never suggest cuddling and sometimes I leave that up to the cuddler. I have cuddled 20 minutes into a first meeting (One asked if we could just hold hands during the meeting), so that kind of thing varies, but I can't over-emphasize comfort above all else, for yourself and your potential cuddler.

    If you host, maybe a picture of yourself in the environment where you host would be helpful. Consider wearing something cozy (a sweatshirt or hoodie) in a cozy environment.

    This advice will simply improve the traffic you get on your page. It's up to you and your potential cuddle buddy to arrive at a state of comfort and contentment with each other face-to-face. , I need to experience body language, word choice, personality type, etc. to feel comfortable.

  • JET2024JET2024

    @PeopleLikeUs

    Thanks for the advice; I will give some further thought to my profile. The pictures of the hosting environment etc is a good idea also.

    The local scene isn’t as rich seeming once you apply filters unfortunately; within 50 miles with at least one photo and being active in the last month = 10 female enthusiasts. A couple of whom are outside the age range I’d feel comfortable with one way or the other.

    A few of the remainder I’ve sent a none pushy introduction to but heard nothing back. Just going to keep swimming though! :)

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @JET2024 The crash after the oxytocin high is, unfortunately, a well-known issue. Thankfully I've never experienced it, but apparently many people do. I like the aftercare concept...be prepared to cuddle yourself, in the hours and days after a cuddle. Soft blankets, favorite snacks, relaxing music, or a favorite childhood movie...be gentle with yourself. Best of luck, and I hope more enthusiasts become active near you!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

Sign In or Register to comment.