Happy very lonely day

HylianscoutHylianscout
in General

I don’t get this site. You request. Then everyone wants to talk on a different app. Like isn’t the idea to find someone to cuddle with, without expectation of anything more. Old accounts. No one replies. Maybe it’s just me and I’m ugly and no one wants me. So right back at square one of being alone and sad and depressed. 👍🏼

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    You literally just joined . It may take time and effort first . Relax and be patient .

  • HylianscoutHylianscout

    Which I’m more than happy to put forth. Thanks for the pep talk.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Hylianscout seconded what pmvines said, give it some time. Most guys looking for women to cuddle with probably have to message people in their area for several months at a time before a cuddle occurs, on average. Also if people are asking you to take the conversation to another app, they are probably scammers and you might want to consider reporting their accounts

    Best of luck

  • BearBear

    @Hylianscout
    I agree with both above.

  • HylianscoutHylianscout

    Ok good to know thanks

  • HylianscoutHylianscout

    I guess my point is this why join a cuddle sight for all people who want and need the same thing if you don’t actually follow through. I get it trust is a very earned thing. But how’s that gonna happen if no one responds ever . Does that make sense to you?

  • Mike403Mike403

    Just because they aren't responding to you doesn't mean they aren't communicating. Women here get flooded with hundreds of messages.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @Hylianscout you literally just joined this month. If you already are so impatient in interacting with others that you're responding with this level of hyperbole, you're going to run into nothing but rejection and being ignored. People do not appreciate being treated as objects around to meet your needs on your schedule without any respect for them being whole, autonomous beings.

    Perhaps you would be better served by taking the time and energy you're spending here and instead invest it into some proper therapy to unpack why you feel so impatient around this and perhaps working on some social-emotional skills. You cannot expect others to meet you where you are if you are not willing to do the same for them.

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    @Hylianscout
    I have no need to give you advice after what all you've been told like that 🙄
    Perhaps good vibes are always best.
    I wish we were closer, I'd love to cuddle and fall asleep with you without it being weird.
    I know how being touch deprived can be. You're simply wanting to cuddle. Feel that human connection in a safe place. I get it. I had a cuddler cancel on me this morning and I was really hoping today not to feel so alone myself but hey, we made it through the day! Please be patient ok :) sending cuddle vibes your way! ✨️

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited February 2024

    "Then everyone wants to talk on a different app. Like isn’t the idea to find someone to cuddle with, without expectation of anything more."

    I'm not exactly sure what your issue with women wanting to talk with you* elsewhere is, especially if they are enthusiasts...

    I expect to talk with people elsewhere and video call prior to planning to meet. So we can see each other, build a little rapport, and also have an alternative way to talk. Maybe you plan to meet someone and the site has an issue for a while also. So you always want an alternative to keep in contact with people if you're planning to meet in person.

    I don't see how the very bare minimum is an expectation of something more to you...

  • LovelightLovelight

    @sunnysideup

    "Also if people are asking you to take the conversation to another app, they are probably scammers and you might want to consider reporting their accounts"

    Yeah, if there are red flags such as someone trying to very quickly rush you, or otherwise looks, acts, or talks like a fishy person. Though in general on its own it's not a red flag, and it also depends on how said people respond to any boundaries you might implement.

    Though I'm solely speaking from an enthusiast perspective there.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    @Lovelight You're very wishy-washy on red flags between your 2 responses. If OP was a woman, she would be warned it's a flat out RED FLAG about moving communication off site so quickly and advised to keep all communication on site so it's easier to be monitored.
    As it's been pointed out, OP just joined and is lectured for being impatient. Seems he has some potential cuddlers interested already, but he's uncomfortable being rushed to communicate off-site with no mention of a cuddle scheduled.
    This site requires pros to not exchange additional contact info prior to booking and still pushes for all communication to remain here, even between enthusiasts.
    He has a boundary, communicating on site, which is promoted by this site, and you told him to loosen it up. Have you told that to a female cuddler here before?

  • LovelightLovelight

    @starrynitecuds "You're very wishy-washy on red flags between your 2 responses."

    What exactly about my responses comes across as wishy-washy to you?

    "If OP was a woman, she would be warned it's a flat out RED FLAG about moving communication off site so quickly and advised to keep all communication on site so it's easier to be monitored."

    Okay... and that's pretty much what I said... that if one is trying to move very quickly that can be a red flag. However, the post doesn't specify them moving fast.

    "As it's been pointed out, OP just joined and is lectured for being impatient."

    That has nothing to do with me as I've said nothing about his level of patience or lack thereof. However, now that you've brought it up to me, he did very recently join, and I too think having a lot of patience will help him.

    "Seems he has some potential cuddlers interested already, but he's uncomfortable being rushed to communicate off-site with no mention of a cuddle scheduled."

    Yes, it seems that he does have some potential cuddlers who are interested.

    However, it isn't clear from his post that, especially to me, his discomfort is with the speed, or as you put it moving communication prior to scheduling a cuddle. Which is why I questioned, and gave my take from the perspective in which I perceived it. Because his post to me is rather vague and relatively open to interpretation as it stands.

    "This site requires pros to not exchange additional contact info prior to booking and still pushes for all communication to remain here, even between enthusiasts."

    Cool. I'm not too familiar with how pros operate so I don't really comment on them. The OP's post doesn't specify it being about contacting pros or them asking to take him off the site, however.

    So overall, my response to the OP is asking for him to clarify, and just giving my thoughts.

    "...even between enthusiasts."

    Are you saying, even between enthusiasts the site pushes for communication to stay here?

    If so, I've never read such anywhere nor had any restrictions or issues in regards to me exchanging contacts, or vice versa with other enthusiasts as an enthusiast.

    "He has a boundary, communicating on site, which is promoted by this site, and you told him to loosen it up. Have you told that to a female cuddler here before?"

    Excuse me?? Can you quote exactly where I told him to loosen up his boundaries???? What the fly fish...

    Also I don't see him stating any boundaries in his post.

    I'm sorry... it seems to me like you're just going off on me for some reason, and making baseless claims about what I've said. If I've said anything you've just said about my comment, then I'd love for you to quote exactly what. So I can help clarify anything thing that I can to you. I really can't stand such vague or baseless claims being made about what I say, though right now I'm just laughing at not knowing what you're talking about, and what's driving your comments.

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    @Hylianscout first of all welcome ! Also give yourself props for being actionable in your self care! Having a safe space to give and receive platonic touch while being seen, validated and cared for can be critical for our well being. You are definitely in the right place to explore these fulfilling connections. While in person connections can take time there is a great community of open minded, friendly, diverse and loving folks right here who are actively building a community which continues to advocate for safe touch. There have been many free gatherings and meet ups, cuddle parties, enriching events which encompass sound healing, breath work, and so much more.
    While initially it can be discouraging when things don't immediately pan out I encourage you to stay with it and wish you the very best! 💖

    Sending virtual hugs and all the good vibes your way! ✌️

  • pjem444pjem444

    @Hylianscout I am new to the site too, maybe 3 weeks in with two successful cuddles. I do believe the approach as you engage with cuddlers can make all the difference. At least that is what they have shared with me as we met face to face. Part of my approach is that I was not in a hurry and somehow that encouraged the cuddlers to take a chance on me, even with no karma. I agree with what @cuddlefaery said,

  • pjem444pjem444

    also, if you don't have a picture on your profile, try sending them a picture in your message to them. That also was pointed out to me as very appreciated.

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    @sunnysideup Several months? Several years for me. Other than the 2 pro cuddle sessions, all the enthusiasts in my area that have written back to me (about 20%) either ended up as a pro (one or two), or ended up getting banned within one or two messages back and forth. I'm starting to wonder if it's me.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Vocalist100 It’s not you and never think it is. One way to look at it is these enthusiasts never had a proper parent to teach them how to have taste in men.

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    @BoomerSpooner When I say that I'm wondering if it's me, I mean the banning part. As an example, here's a list of my "Inbox" messages and what type of person they are.
    Local Pro who is organizing the Chicago meeting
    Banned
    Banned
    Out of country enthusiast who asked about people who like to sing
    Someone responding to a forum question by PM
    Pro who approached me after I looked at her profile
    Banned
    Out of State Pro who asked about my profile (specifically regarding singing)
    Banned
    Banned
    Pro who I was talking with but never responded to my booking request - now inactive for last 3 months
    Out of State enthusiast who approached me if I ever visit her area
    Banned (9 in a row)

    You get the idea.....Apparently I'm radioactive and somehow talking to me (via messages) gets you banned (I say this very tongue-in-cheek)

  • SoosonSooson

    Yea the wallet enthusiasts. sooner or later, they get banned or just move on. there are quite a few of them in our area @Vocalist100

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Vocalist100 - If I had a dollar for every time the word "banned" appeared in my Inbox, I'd have enough money to make Jeff Bezos jealous.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I have had a ton of banned as well. Comes with the territory. A lot of them get banned for something as basic as trying to circumvent booking on the site so they save the 15% fee CC takes.

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    Sometimes I reach out and ask if we can set something up before they get banned.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    Can we get banned if we cuddle with a banned cuddler? 🫣🤔

  • LovelightLovelight

    "Can we get banned if we cuddle with a banned cuddler?"

    From the site? I'm not sure.

    Banned from life, though, or end up with some kind of a headache down the line?

    Probably, so you may do it at your own risk if you choose to.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @lonelytauros

    Can we get banned if we cuddle with a banned cuddler? 🫣🤔

    From a purely practical standpoint, how would anyone know unless the CC member or the banned cuddler, told someone?

    It is impossible for anyone to contact a banned cuddler through CC. If a CC member is calling, texting, Snapchatting, etc. someone who got banned, nobody would know except those individuals (and the NSA 😉).

  • HylianscoutHylianscout

    Dear All,

    I want to take a moment to address some recent interactions. Contrary to what might be perceived, my intention isn't impatience but rather a sense of bewilderment. It's bewildering to find myself under scrutiny as I seek a safe space for human connection. In a world where empathy and understanding should prevail, it's disheartening to encounter judgment.

    To those who have extended kindness and empathy, I deeply appreciate your understanding. Your words have not gone unnoticed and serve as a reminder of the importance of compassion in our interactions.

    Let's strive to create an environment where everyone feels heard, valued, and supported. Together, we can foster a culture of empathy and understanding.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @Hylianscout the impatience is heavily implied because you only just joined and yet already are complaining about not getting the desired response. It's like giving up on the first day of school, or falling off the proverbial horse and complaining instead of getting back in the saddle.

    Also, had you done a read through of the forums prior to posting your bewilderment, you would have seen this is a very common topic to come up and so some regulars may be rather burnt out on it.

    May I also counter the idea that challenging your viewpoint is somehow not offering empathy? Many people who responded critically in this thread have empathy in spades, and sometimes the kindest thing one can do for another is to be honest rather than sugarcoat things. This is where it's a good idea to decide if what you're seeking is validation, advice, critique, information, or something else. If you were only wanting validation and are not open to critique or advice, then an open public forum is probably not the best place to post - especially without stating that boundary.

  • HylianscoutHylianscout

    Your discerning wit and razor-sharp observations have left me both amused and enlightened. It appears my entrance onto the stage has sparked quite the intellectual joust, and I must admit, I find myself thoroughly entertained by the banter.

    While my eagerness to dive into the fray may have been mistaken for impatience, I assure you it was merely a case of enthusiasm outpacing prudence. In the grand theater of life, sometimes the script takes an unexpected turn, and one finds themselves ad-libbing in the spotlight.

    Your analogy of the first day of school or falling off the proverbial horse is indeed a gem of wit, though I can't help but wonder if perhaps I've stumbled upon a rodeo instead. Nevertheless, I appreciate the reminder that the journey of understanding is often paved with unexpected obstacles, and the true test lies in our ability to navigate them with grace and humor.

    As for the worn-out topic at hand, I must confess I hadn't done my homework prior to stepping onto the stage. It seems I've stumbled into a well-worn groove, but fear not, for I am not one to shy away from a challenge. With your guidance, I shall endeavor to find my footing and contribute meaningfully to the ongoing discourse.

    And to your point about challenging viewpoints, I couldn't agree more. In the marketplace of ideas, it's the clash of intellects that sharpens our understanding and broadens our horizons. Your willingness to engage in spirited debate speaks volumes about the depth of empathy and intellectual curiosity present in this esteemed community.

    I extend my heartfelt gratitude for the warm welcome and the lively exchange of ideas. It's a pleasure to be in the company of such formidable minds, and I eagerly anticipate our future encounters, armed with wit, wisdom, and perhaps a dash of whimsy.

  • TxTomTxTom

    You're very polite and proper.

    Are you a bot?

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