This will be a very long post, so the tl;dr version of it is: In a pro cuddling situation, when the client understands the relationship and the pro is an actual pro is who skilled at giving the client what they need, it’s an incredibly awesome thing.
But it’s kind of troubling to me to see how many clients (pretty much always guys) are really looking for an enthusiast situation (mostly looking for women) but end up going with a pro because that’s all they can find, and either the client, the pro, or both end up treating it more like an enthusiast situation but with money involved and it ends up disappointing or even worse, damaging the client.
I understand that pro cuddling is very nuanced and complicated, and a healthy client/pro relationship can take a lot of different forms. I also understand that I have very limited experience, though I have looked into pro cuddling a lot, reading articles and blogs, watching youtube videos, etc.
But I wanted to make this post because I have found cuddling with a pro to be an incredibly amazing experience and I’m extremely happy with it. But I’ve seen on the forum how many clients don’t seem to be happy with their experience with pros.
In my situation, part of it is that I’m extremely fortunate that the pro I have found is extremely good. I believe she is top notch, and she knows exactly how to cater to my needs. We have great communication, comfort and respect for each other, and we’re a very good fit.
But part of it is that I’ve gone into it with a very good understanding of the client/pro relationship. I view it like therapy; I have needs and those needs are being served.
I’ve heard a number of people say they don’t want this…they view that as too clinical business-like or cold. But it’s not like that in my experience. It’s still very affectionate and intimate, with a ton of emotional comfort and coziness.
I strongly believe the pro I work with cares about her clients and legitimately gets a lot of satisfaction in how happy she makes them and how she gives them what they want and need. I view it like a therapist, doctor, coach, teacher, counselor, hair stylist, physical therapist or massage therapist. She still is providing a service, it’s just a very affectionate or intimate one.
I don’t delude myself into thinking she feels actual affection for me. Even if she enjoys the cuddling experience, what she enjoys about it the most is how happy she’s making me. The session is all about me and my needs, not about our mutual enjoyment.
I know some clients say that they don’t want this. They don’t like feeling like a patient and want the session to feel more like a social cuddle session. That is completely legitimate and I think it can still work extremely well with a pro. The pro can still serve their client by making it feel more like a mutual cuddle between two people, and can still ask what the client wants. Even when the pro receives touch, the pro is allowing the client to touch them like that, which is good for the client.
But it’s still always in the container of a pro serving a client. The pro is not getting the same experience as the client. The pro is not getting the touch they want and need in the same way the client is.
So in my opinion, it’s extremely important for both parties to understand the relationship and what it’s supposed to be.
When I’ve read a lot of forum posts over the years, though, it seems like a lot of clients (men) really want an enthusiast social cuddle and can’t find one. So they think they can just pay a pro and get that same experience. This becomes extremely problematic when a pro they find is not doing it for the right reasons…someone who isn’t a real pro, but instead thinks they can just be the same as an enthusiast but get paid for it.
I think that ends up blurring the lines between a pro/client relationship and an enthusiast one. It leads the client to expect things out of the pro that it outside of a business relationship, and then feel very disappointed when they don’t get it.
(unfortunately there is also a lot of boundary crossing by men that happens for a lot of reasons, but this could be yet another one).
Of course, sometimes they also end up with a legit pro, but have unfair or unrealistic expectations of the pro, expecting it to be more of a social relationship rather than a business or professional one.
It just seems like a lot of guys who end up not being happy with pro cuddling have the wrong mindset of what pro cuddling should be and end up getting disappointed, hurt, or unhappy with it.
I’m extremely grateful for all of the real, legit pros out there who know how to give clients a great experience while still making sure the client/pro business relationship stays in tact. It’s what makes this whole experience a truly wonderful and amazing thing.
But whether the client is with a legit pro or not, they should be careful to think about their emotions and expectations first to make sure they have the right mindset to avoid getting jaded by the whole idea of cuddling with a pro.