@starrynitecuds No, I wasn't. I don't need anyone to justify that statement, because it's a true statement.
Inappropriate, unwelcome, crime: words not typically associated with cuddling between consensual adults. Even on aeroplanes.
Recommence naysaying.
Inappropriate, unwelcome, crime: words not typically associated with cuddling between consensual adults
But then again I never mentioned between consensual adults. Again moving the goalposts.
Thank goodness the world doesn’t rely on you to actually determine who is a “human”. Any time a person has decided that in history groups have faced extermination…Kurds, Jews,
Wow, this thread only took 3.5 hours to demonstrate Goodwin’s Law. 🙄
Godwin's law, short for Godwin's law (or rule) of Nazi analogies, is an Internet adage asserting: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."
OP, perhaps we could better engage in your hypothetical without having to debate FAA regulations if you would change the spelling in your thread title to plain.
@JohnR1972 Once again, great call on Godwin's Law.
Some folks are obsessed with seeing "oppressor/victim" in nearly every human endeavor.
I second what @LadyVel says.
Seatmate cuddles on a bus-ride from Boston to Miami was the highlight of what may have been a grim trip, otherwise.
There is often much more room on a bus, and because there are stops along the way, it’s much more common for people to get up and move seats.
Here’s my advice for anyone considering.
Ensure your hygiene is on point.
Be clear about logistics. Let your seatmate know where your heading and/or where you’ll be changing buses. Don’t miss your stop and if they offer information about their itinerary, don’t let them miss their stop.
Make sure your would-be cuddlemate feels safe and comfortable. See if there are empty rows available, and offer to move elsewhere if they decide they would like more personal space. Keep that offer on the table.
Have an exit plan. Getting up to make a call is fine. Ending cuddles due to motion sickness is acceptable. If there aren’t empty seats elsewhere on the bus, consider that neither of you has any place to retreat to if your suggestion is declined or goes awry.
Do not open with, “Do you want to cuddle?” Ask if they feel like chatting for a bit, or if they’re up for watching a movie together. Try to make a genuine connection that is about more than getting your oxytocin on.
Do not broach the subject unless you are perfectly comfortable taking no for an answer and can convey that convincingly to your fellow passenger.
Be direct. Make it clear you are looking for platonic cuddles (if that’s what you’re after). Don’t initiate “platonic cuddles” as a euphemism for sexy times.
If you are a man and you are thinking about propositioning a woman, proceed with utmost empathy. Many “good guys” have made women feel uncomfortable or threatened without realizing it. And chances are high your fellow passenger has encountered a number of men you’d probably agree were not “good guys.”
Continue to discuss boundaries, and keep seeking active, enthusiastic consent.
If you find your focus shifting toward sexy times, it’s OK to take a break. Go splash some cold water on your face.
Per number 6, no sulking if your cuddle offer is declined or when your cuddles end.
🐒
PS Follow this same guidance whether or not you are on a bus.
Wow, this thread only took 3.5 hours to demonstrate Goodwin’s Law.
Godwin’s Law includes Hussein and Stalin and Amin? Deciding who is a human covers all continents with terrible results. That was the point. Not a cliched internet assertion about Nazis. But if you’re ok with deciding who is “human” and covering it up with Godwin’s Law when Kurds would have nothing to do with it then play your kiddy games.
Some folks are obsessed with becoming a victim when an oppressed group gets a break or a voice.
So many twits I just have to poops
@pmvines We will miss you in Denver. Would love to see one of your poop workshops.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug Great list IF you decide to pursue a cuddle on a bus or plane. I still think I would pass. I get more than enough cuddles without playing verbal sparring with a stranger. I think trust needs to be built up with a stranger. @LadyVel built that trust up over three days. That makes sense.
Absolutely not. Never. It's asking for trouble, as people have commented.
@JohnR1972 Never called anyone Hitler. An analogy is a comparison not a label.
@BoomerSpooner
Thanks. I am not telling anybody they should seek cuddles in a public conveyance of any kind. Approaching people for cuddles (especially people who are more likely to be a victim of gender-based crime) someplace where they don’t have an option to leave is generally a bad idea.
But the Greyhound from Boston to Miami took about 30 hours. We had plenty of time to establish that we were enjoying each other’s company. And once we did, that strange, cuddle timewarp happened where we were like… “We’re here, already?!”
🫂
@MonkeyNeedsAHug Yeah 30 hours is plenty of time to establish a rapport. I just see it coming across more creepy on a 2 or 3 hour plane flight. Just my opinion. But I could see it on the bus trip.
Lol the closest I've come to cuddling on a plane was during a spell of _really _bad turbulence. An elderly lady next to me (complete stranger) asked if we could hold hands. Of course! I was thankful to be able to offer some small comfort in a moment of distress. She had a killer grip for her age.
Would I have initiated the offer to hold her hand? Probably not, as we were strangers and as a guy I'm worried about being perceived the wrong way.
This happened to me on a plane to Tokyo about a decade ago. I was seated next to a girl in economy. We started chatting it up, and I shared all my plane snacks with her. She eventually fell asleep and her head rolled onto my shoulder. We cuddled, took naps, and talked for the rest of the flight. It was really nice
@MonkeyNeedsAHug GOOD GRIEF I JUST ADORE YOU!!! This statement captures a huge portion of what makes it challenging to approach a stranger in a short trip/flight.
Approaching people for cuddles (especially people who are more likely to be a victim of gender-based crime) someplace where they don’t have an option to leave is generally a bad idea
So many great points in your detailed post. Thank you for taking the time to do that. 😊
Wow. There is a lot of heated discussion going on about MUCH BIGGER ISSUES than Airplane cuddles.
@cuddddles You mention in your profile that you are married and also get plenty of touch. Maybe this puts you in a different category than most of the people who come to the site. I think it would be really wise to make sure the marriage thing comes up in some way because there has been a LOT of discussion that partners feel like it’s cheating etc so it needs to be handled with delicacy. 😊
Like most people here, cuddling nourishes my desire for physical touch. I get plenty of cuddles at home. My issue is work travel can make me feel drained travelling solo. It was always too awkward for me to try to meet someone and explain to them I just want cuddles. This website has been great since we are all here for cuddles.
It sounds like you are being very intentional and I say KUDOS TO THAT!!
I have said a similar thing about flights being a lost opportunity for cuddles.
In MY experience as a woman, it has been much easier to feel safe with a stranger on a plane when they start by being EXTREMELY mindful of my space. When they say “I promise I’ll try to keep my arms/legs on my side of the seat” it lets me know that they are conscientious of shared space and are already RESPECTFUL, instead of those people who sprawl all over and expect me to stay small so they can take over.
From there, it is an EASY jump to discussions of consent and the challenges we face as human beings trying to be connected in our world today.
I had a very memorable experience with a seat mate on the way to a Cuddle Meet & Greet. It started out as normal conversation “where are you headed? Business or pleasure?” Etc. I told him I was headed to a Cuddle Thing and he had never heard of that. We chatted about the premise for a bit, sharing some of our life story along the way, and then it turned into a full on consent based workshop right there in the seat. He was a very tall muscular man and we wound up having consent cuddles the whole way. He learned a lot about platonic touch and we had a most memorable experience.
But it all started with ZERO EXPECTATIONS and a lot of laughter about how he was going to keep his frame from taking over my space.
The key to any of these situations lies in putting a great amount of energy towards thinking/reading about how people who have been hurt by touch might feel so you can have clarity about how you must proceed carefully with thoughtfulness.
Obviously there are a LOT of opinions about how easy it SHOULD be to cuddle with strangers, but as you can tell from the responses…. It isn’t always that simplistic.
Welcome to the site!!! And as always… May the Cuddle Gods be EVER in your favor!! 😊🌼☀️
In related news, cuddles on a boat rock! (Literally)!
But for travelers prone to motion sickness, I suggest you get on board the cuddle train!
Choo Choooo!
@sillysassy I'll cuddle you in the airport but you stay to your corner if we're in a plane 😂
Omgosh. All of the sudden I’m questioning our COMMUNICATION SKILLS!!!
@sillysassy I used to chase some of my coworkers around like that trying to get hugs! Thankfully I never ended up in HR, but only because everyone seemed to feel that I was certifiably crazy, but harmless.
@sillysassy Hahaha ... ostriches are scary! You made me choke (in a good way) on my morning green tea.