So this is my take and I'm not gonna get into a big back and forth about it or try to speak up for other people's opinions as we are all adults capable of speaking for ourselves . We all know that this site is intended for platonic cuddling . We also all know that a lot of people on here aren't here with platonic intentions whether actively seeking sex , or just fantasizing that it will turn into sex. There is a history as we all know of women being done dirty on here . There are receipts. We all know this . So even if you aren't one of those guys , there are still plenty of those guys here . Not being one of those guys is not an excuse to play stupid . It's a bad look regardless , but when you do dirty to a 18 yr old it just hits different than if you do dirty to a 30 yr old . So even though I am a man pushing 50 who has cuddled people in their 20s (and on up to 70), I think it stands within reason that it might be something somebody would feel a certain way about. That's just the way things are, and until there are no longer creepy weirdos on this site looking to fulfill some sexual desire , it will continue to be that way and it's not going to change. Being dismissive and blaming someone for thinking a certain way about it doesn't help your cause at all , just makes you look bad .
On a side note as a parent, when my son was 18, if there were a 50 yr old woman or man wanting to change into pajamas and get horizontal in the bed with him for a couple hours I would have probably felt a certain way about it . Probably more so even if he were offered money to do it. I'm sure there are parents on here who can relate .
This thread has me scratching my head. Why are the guys being treated like creepy predators when all they said was that age doesn't matter(as long as they are a legal adult)? Am I missing anything?
@pmvines yes. That was pretty eloquently stated.
@jplemmon I’ve taken my fair share of lumps in these forums so I’m trying to recuperate lol
@Mike403 i will answer your question. So most guys like the movie predator so that means well that 2+2 = 5
I don’t think it’s creepy to be accepting cuddles from anyone, though having a young age specified publicly as among the preferred age an older person is looking for is going to be met with skepticism about their motives. We know with certainty there are predators looking to take advantage of people here and you could be the nicest, friendliest person around and you are still going to be judged for that. There is no use arguing if it is creepy or not. To me, it is creepy. Not calling out you specifically, whoever is reading this, but in general, as someone that can see behind the curtain here as a mod, it’s very creepy.
If I can NEVER see a guy send nudes to a woman 50+ years younger on the site, I would be very, very happy.
@CharlieBear you have all the CVS sized receipts 😂
@pmvines Haha and I prob look at reports the least among the mods because my brain really struggles seeing this stuff.
@chilln74 I don't understand why no one is responding to you. I don't think the age thing is that big of a deal. I would respond to you. At the very least they could tell you why they are not interested in cuddling with you. When you go on their profile pages do you look at when the last time they were online. It just might be that you are reaching out to people who did not delete their account but seldom if at all getting on this website. Don't give up a lot of times it is just a numbers game.
@chilln74 Sorry the thread went a little sideways . Totally not your fault , you seem like a stand up dude and hopefully you dont feel personally attacked. It's the topic that is being debated , not you or your character . Regarding responses , it really is like @pty1999 says , a bit of a numbers game . Tons of men , not a ton of women , which makes putting in the work all that more important . Coming on here asking for input means you're doing just that.
Thank you for the helpful explanation @Skweezer ....that helps to look at things from a different example! 😎
And Yasssssss! @pmvines you do extremely well at verbalizing these types of tricky topics....you definitely deserve a standing ovation! *And on a separate note....maybe you can help me write some papers for school....😂
@RedFox16 sure but punctuations on you
I wouldn't say no responses, just limited. I think some of us are getting messaged quite a bit more than others. Definitely not me ,but pros and female enthusiasts for sure
@pmvines I agree completely, my friend. The men totally outnumber the women. Hang in there @chilln74 it will happen for you. I'm too far away to cuddle but I will respond if you message me
Look at the profile for @CharlieBear in Santa Clarita, CA. I’m a pro cuddler and even I judge every profile to decide whether I’m going to cuddle with someone.
Additionally, I want to cuddle someone who puts thought & detail in to their profile. That tells me that he has put himself in the shoes of what it’s like to be a female cuddler , so he’s likely considerate & we’ll likely be in sync with asking for consent and making sure the person were cuddling with is comfortable and having a good experience.
There are probably more profiles that are well written, but I’m just mentioning his because I happened to come across it earlier in the discussion.
I read the OP profile and it says something like , “No time to watch, movies or TV.” OP, do you realize that you dropped the ball and missed the opportunity to make a connection with someone that could possibly have something in common with you?
Maybe the lack of Karma. Obviously we all start from 0 karma, but it seems like most people who contact me with 0 karma end up getting banned rather fast or it just seems really off/scammy. I’ve also gotten stood up from a lot of people who have 0 karma. Maybe say you’re willing to place a small deposit for a booking to establish credibility and then have the provider write you some karma as free the session things will run a lot more smoothly after you get a better rapport
@HaileyHugs Awe thank you 🥹
@HaileyHugs I can say I was pen pals with @CharlieBear when he was doing time at San Quentin and he’s a stand up guy. I was so happy when he was finally put back in general population.
@HaileyHugs J/K. The last person in the world to be in any prison is @CharlieBear
@BoomerSpooner Hahaha yeah I am scared to think what I would have done to get sent there 😂
The closest I would have been to being in prison would be from watching Oz, Orange is the New Black, or Prison Break lol
I dunno @CharlieBear , you seemed awfully interested in buying me drinks at Meow Wolf in Vegas. Kinda makes me wonder .... 😂
@pmvines Haha oh no all my secrets are being exposed! 😂😂😂 Though I am pretty sure I was getting drinks purchased for me ☺️
I get responses though everything is small scale. Minimal messages sent, minimal messages received.
For a guy looking for a response to a message, consider this thought experiment. Imagine that of 400 thousand profiles 80% were women. And of the men, the vast majority wanted money. If you were one of the guys that was not asking for money, and you were to get 10 to 50 messages a day from women, how much effort would you put into responding to each message you received? Honestly, how would you respond to having that much choice? Might you use the many inquiries as an indication of how desirable you were? What criteria would you use to decide who you would like to connect with?
@chilln74 For the record, i've been on the site for a little over a year, and i've had some small success with enthusiast cuddles. I've tried reaching out and messaging quite a lot, but in all that time i've never had a cuddle partner result from me messaging first.
I have read all these comments and some I think are great. Some I think are not helping me whatsoever. Look when I was 47 a 27-year-old woman came up to me and wanted to have a relationship with me and I didn't say no because she was a wonderful person age. I don't think matters and you don't get to choose who you fall in love with. For that matter, this is what I decided to do:
If a woman wants to snuggle with me and cuddle with me, get to know me then she's going to know the real me. If I have a fishing picture up there and she doesn't like that well then I don't want to hang out with her. I like fishing. That's who I am. I'm also an A's fan and a warriors fan. If she's not a sports fan then I don't want to hang out with her. I'm 49 going on 50. If a 28-year-old or a 30-year-old were 25-year-old likes older men, it's not that uncommon these days, then sure it's just cuddling. I'm not asking for anything other than platonic stuff here anyway.
I mean who wants to hang out with somebody? If they don't like who you are? I might as well go get an hour-long massage. That way I can still talk to the person and get some therapy on my soul and on my back and legs.
I appreciate Avery's comments. I put some different photos up. I've taken some information down. I've gotten rid of the whole age thing because I'm sorry if a 20-year-old has daddy issues and wants to cuddle with a 60-year-old who am I to judge her?
And I do get the vibe that some of you women don't like men. You think we're predators because we have hormones and we have human thinking about cuddling with a younger woman or an older women for that matter. I've had a woman in her '70s wanting to cuddle. Well that's 21 years older than me going in reverse 21 years younger than me and somebody in her late twenties and according to some of you women that's a No-No Jo. I appreciate everybody's advice. I'm going to do what I'm going to do now. I know what I'm going to do and if I don't get any cuddles I don't get any cuddles my life will go on. And if I do they will because they want to get to know me as a person and have a genuine conversation while having platonic cuddle. Have a great day. Appreciate all your advice. I'm good now. Thank you
I make sure I get on the phone first with every new person I cuddle with.
There are two good reasons you can’t count on Karma
Everyone wants good Karma so they don’t want to write bad Karma for that person.
The other reason Karma is overrated is because Karma is for your NEXT life. 🤣🙃😂🤷🏽♀️
@chilln74 I know you made this thread seeking advice. I’m sorry that it was turned into what it was turned into. As a long time member and supporter of the site, I like to think we are a community that can supports its members who are genuinely trying to find something positive from cuddle comfort. Cuddling with someone 20 years younger than you doesn’t make you a predator, being a predator makes you a predator. You do you and I wish you all the luck in the world even though you’re an A’s fan 🤣 at least you aren’t a Giants fan.
.. Middle-age men