Does it upset u when someone falls asleep?

edited May 2024 in General

Hey! Plz dont judge me! Lol... for the record prefer and enjoy morning cuddles... But during a few of my late night cuddles I have legit fallen asleep.. smh.. lol.. I wake up like,.. "oh my gosh! Im so sorry!! Was I snoring?!" Of course everyone was pretty cool about it.. but How am I supposed to stay awake when its bedtime and someone is ever so gently rubbing my back and head 🤤🤤 omg.. to the few pwople I have cuddled on a late night, and fell asleep, I apologize.. i will do better! But man, cuddling is sooo relaxing.. lol

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I think I would take it as a compliment that you felt sufficiently relaxed and safe and comfortable to be able to go to sleep.

  • [Deleted User]zerogone40 (deleted user)

    See, I don’t mind this. I’d be doing the back rubbing with one hand and the other would be holding, the latest best seller from my local bookshop. :) Longer you sleep, more I read…

  • I agree with @WriterGF I take it as a compliment.

  • [Deleted User]QB91 (deleted user)

    If you’re cuddling with someone and feel so relaxed where you can actually fall asleep, that’s absolutely a good thing. That means someone makes you feel safe and comfortable; I wouldn’t do that if I was uncomfortable or unease with someone.

  • I've had clients fall asleep before. That just shows how comfortable, relaxed, and safe they were. I would never be upset.

    I have dozed off in one session myself but they dozed off too. I have medication which can help in this situation but not always (I have mild narcolepsy).

    If you know it's a high possibility of you falling asleep, especially if they are doing something that will make you fall asleep, you could always give them a heads-up.
    "If you keep doing that, I'm liable to fall asleep. "
    If you are feeling tired: "With it being late, it's okay if you doze off during the cuddle and I want to apologize in advance if I doze off too!"

    Good luck! 🫂

  • I've had this happen a couple of times, as the client -- the pro falls asleep! On the one hand, it's really nice that she felt so safe and comfortable in my arms to fall asleep. That's a nice ego boost, and it's super pleasant to snuggle with someone who's snoring softly (unlike me, who snores like a bear).

    On the other hand....I like more "active" cuddles, having my arms stroked, hair played with, back rubbed, etc. And if she's asleep, she's not going to be doing any of those things! So there's a part of me that's concerned I'm not "getting my money's worth." It makes me seem stingy to even type those words, but that's partially how I feel.

    So I'm torn. If money and time were no object, if I could get all the cuddles I wanted, whenever I wanted (if I were in a relationship with someone who loved cuddling as much as I do), I wouldn't mind someone falling asleep in my arms at all. But since my cuddle opportunities are limited (and pricey) I guess I'd rather she not fall asleep "on the clock," LOL.

    Man. Now I sound like a jerk. I really didn't mind too much either time when it happened, but looking back after the session it's sort of like buyer's remorse or something.

  • Who wouldn’t? It’s so relaxing. Especially if you get some light massages. It’s paradise

  • @WiserGuy3000 Good observation, but I don't think you sound like a jerk. What if the pro falls asleep, should they even charge the client? What if both fall asleep, so it runs over? Does the pro charge the client extra?

  • One time I fell asleep, and the pro disappeared before I was able to pay her. I didn't file a report.

  • Question; is the night time cuddles supposed to for like sleeping cuddles, or are you supposed to stay awake all night?
    Dose this happen when you're the professional or when your the client?

  • As a woman, your number one priority is your safety. You cannot protect yourself or even know what is happening if you are asleep with men you just met. I strongly recommend against this. 😬

    As a Pro, your number one priority is providing the client with what they're paying you for. While cuddling is relaxing, if you know you cannot function properly for late-night sessions, let your clients know that you are likely to fall asleep, so they can book a different time, or a different Pro, if they want active cuddling.

    I agree with @WiserGuy3000 all the way. If I'm paying someone to cuddle me, I'm paying them to cuddle me, not to sleep on the clock. For me it would defeat the entire purpose.

    I do agree that it's a compliment to the client that the Pro felt safe; however, there have been multiple men who have relayed experiences where Pro's "appeared" to sleep through their entire session, and that's just flat-out wrong.

    You can adopt a dog if you just want a warm body to silently sleep beside you. Hiring a Pro typically involves receiving care, comfort, acceptance, and compassionate attention.

    That said, I do not make a habit of hiring Pro's. But if one I hired slept through our session, I would not be paying them again. It would be like booking a massage and the therapist sleeping in a chair the whole time.

    Cuddling is a verb.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • edited May 2024

    Monkey here…

    I’ve cuddled my share of pros and enthusiasts. I’d say the best cuddles are not adversely affected by short hops across the border into dreamland. In fact, the cuddlers who nodded off in my presence remained attuned to me and the dreamy, co-regulatory dialog that was taking place.

    Cheers,

    🐵

  • @starrynitecuds thanks! With regards to payment, no, I didn't ask for a "falling asleep discount," LOL.

    If we both fell asleep and the time ran over, I would not be very happy if she asked for additional funds. As I see it, it's the professional's job to watch the clock and know when the session is over, not my job. And I think this is true whether she's asleep or awake! I'm zoning out enjoying the cuddle time, it's her responsibility to set a timer or watch the clock. Same as for other services like massage therapy. The professional has to time the session, not the client.

  • @Tezza0748 , some cuddlers definitely offer overnight services, where a good night's sleep is part of the deal. Obviously it's best if they're clear about expectations -- like "a 12 hour overnight includes at least 8 hours of sleep" or whatever.

  • When I was an enthusiast, I did an overnight with a cuddle friend. He was sleeping and I was unable to. I felt like saying, “wake up and cuddle me.”

    I have to really trust the person or them be super cozy for me to fall asleep. My cozy cuddler doesn’t mind. And the others have taken it as a compliment. I would not want to sleep long though, but a little doze off is a huge compliment to them. If it were an overnight though, I will expect to sleep a bit.

  • edited May 2024

    Good topic!

    This one is tricky:

    If it’s an overnight cuddle, then falling asleep at some point would certainly be natural.

    If it’s a little momentary doze off that’s one thing - no biggy - sorta cute.

    But if I’m paying $$ and the pro really “falls asleep” for a period of time that’s a different story for me.

    I think there is an intrinsic obligation on behalf of the pro to be professional and be awake, present and engaging. I won’t die on this hill, and if you’re ok with that to each his own, but for me that would be an issue.

    From there it would then become a no-win situation because if you wake her, then you’re the schmuck for waking her up….. but if you don’t, it would be an awkward and frustrating what do I do now kinda thing.

    And then….while nice cuddling touch is one thing when she is awake, I probably would feel guilty like I’m groping her in her sleep even though the touch isn’t grope-like if that makes sense.

    And then is this (stranger) person going to start thinking - Hey what did this guy do to me while I fell asleep? Did he take advantage of me?

    Argghhh…
    It gets complicated.
    Best to not IMO…

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    One thing that might help deal with this issue is having the right kind of cuddle music playing. If it is too mellow, it can loll you to sleep, so slightly up tempo, or the style of music that you would both like to actually listen to can be a nice accompaniment to cuddling.

  • I think this is a bit of a different conversation for pros than it is for us enthusiasts, but generally speaking I think it comes down to communication. 🤷🏼

    In some circumstances falling asleep can be rude, like if the person you're cuddling has other plans that day and you fall asleep in their bed without warning? Probably not the coolest thing to do. Or, if you host, konking out when there's a polite social protocol that they would have to go against, like if an evening cuddle ends with you out for the night the cuddler that came over has the dilemma of whether to wake you up to say goodbye or so you can lock up for the night, or just try and sneak out. Without prior communication, they end up having to make that call, and that's also less than cool.

    But generally speaking both the people I've cuddled and I have agreed that someone falling asleep during a quiet, static cuddle is a welcome compliment. Some cuddle sessions are naturally more active, lots of conversation, position changes etc. but getting a feel for what kind of cuddler each person is during the messaging stage beforehand helps set that tone.

    For me, if there's any sense that somebody may fall asleep, I try to talk about it before the sandman comes. Sometimes the other cuddler falls asleep accidentally, which I'm totally fine with, but it does help to know if they have a general timeline as well, I don't want my coziness to make someone late for work or miss something else in their schedule. Then if I'm getting drowsy too I can set an alarm so we both wake up in time.
    Personally, I don't really spontaneously fall asleep during cuddles unless I feel completely comfortable and safe with them, and that's a high bar for me, so if I do start to doze I usually kinda catch myself a few times before I fully let go and snooze, and that can be a good time to double check if sleep is ok or what the general timeline is.

  • I find that it helps to keep from falling asleep by ever so gently rubbing them too.

  • My initially thought is since you're a pro this would be an issue for me. It would be like hiring someone to paint your room but instead they come over and have a nap.

    This of course changes for an enthusiest. If an enthusiest falls asleep I am pleased with the situation.

  • Falling asleep is the natural progression of a super comfy cuddle.

    ➵ TxTom
    ☣️ toxically positive
    🐄💨 pro-cow farting
    🤓 cuddle nerd

  • Once, I had a pro come over, she fell asleep which I was okay with. I tried to wake her up when the paid time was over. She said she wanted to keep sleeping so we kept cuddling. I actually had to stop cuddling to get on my computer to do some work at one point. She woke up 6 hours after the paid cuddle time had ended. She walked in the living room where I was, said she felt great and asked if I wanted to go to dinner.

  • I'm so jelly of all these dudes who's Pro turns into an enthusiast mid-visit!

    ➵ TxTom
    ☣️ toxically positive
    🐄💨 pro-cow farting
    🤓 cuddle nerd

  • edited May 2024

    @TxTom she farted probably 35 times in her sleep which highly influenced me into going into my living room, getting on my computer and working.

  • I don't mind having a cuddler fall asleep, but take it as a compliment.

    On the other hand, having a therapist fall asleep during a session about 10 years ago DID bother me.

    I stopped seeing him.

  • I agree with @WriterGF.
    I take it as a compliment.

  • edited May 2024

    In a worse case scenario I would gladly take a sleeper any day over some of my horror stories, but that’s a whollllllllle different thread!!

  • edited May 2024

    You can fall asleep sure but please don't start farting it up. I would wake someone up so fast

  • I also enjoy active cuddling. Talking and caressing is nice. I have had a pro cuddler fall asleep in the past. It was nice that she was comfortable, but because I was paying to be cuddled I thought it was a little rude (but she can't help it, just happens haha). I did wake her after a while to chat some more. I always feel bad when waking people up, but more cuddles please!

  • edited May 2024

    @Morpheus is this the same one you spoke of in a different thread? You said she fell asleep because you both had shots together and she had too many , fell asleep in your bed… a different “ sleepy pro”? 🤔

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