I was at a coffee social and someone who had asked me not to speak to her on another occasion actually asked me a question where the hostess was, and when I answered one short sentence, she got mad at me for answering. I guess some humans can be unreasonable. LOL!
@Mike403 @Sooson For sure, anyone can be lazy, and it's clear that a lot of new Pro's join this site thinking it's a get rich quick scheme with the attitude that they can just "lay there and make money". 🤢 Thankfully those ones don't last long.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@SunsetSnuggles - Because they thought it was lazy work then quickly realized that it's not. If they are just going to lay there like a dead fish, I might as well just cuddle with my pillow.
@Mike403 💯
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/19942/does-it-upset-u-when-someone-falls-asleep
I think flagging @huggaboo_baby ‘s thread here is unkind. It conflates cuddlers who doze off with those who are lazy. And, as you can see by reading that thread, not everyone agrees that they are equivalent.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug It seemed relevant because sleeping through a session and laying like a dead fish, as mentioned, sound the same to me. Not trying to be unkind at all. (There is also a big difference between a quick doze, and those Pro's who pretend to, or actually do, sleep through hours-long paid sessions.)
Yeah. You flagged a pro cuddler’s genuine inquiry about nodding off during cuddles - a thing which some paying clients actively enjoy- in response to a comment comparing a hypothetical cuddler to a dead fish, saying you agree 💯.
You think you’re being kind, here?
@SunsetSnuggles
If I’m with an enthusiast/friend/partner it’s fine with me if they drift off.
If I’m with a pro and they fall asleep for 20 minutes it feels like they trust me. That feels good to me. At least that’s how it felt to me when it happened to me. However, if they are asleep the whole time I’m going to feel ripped off.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug He said if someone just lays there, he may as well just cuddle his pillow. That is how I would feel if I paid a Pro to cuddle me and they slept instead. The two were related in my head, so I tossed the link his way in case he was interested.
I'm glad you enjoy Pro's sleeping in your arms. As I said in the other thread, a Pro's top priority is providing what their client wants. If sleeping together is what you want, that's great. That's why overnights exist.
Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead paying for an overnight cuddle. That's just me. Obviously tons of men want that experience and are willing to pay a thousand bucks to get it, which is fine. It's also fine that to me, that would be paying to hold a dead fish. For me, it makes zero emotional or financial sense.
Everyone is different in their preferences and how they find value in spending their money. Quality Time is my number one Love Language, so I want to talk and connect deeply with someone, not be unconscious beside them. That doesn't feed my soul.
You indicated an actual, individual human being (and a professional you have never met) cuddles no better than a dead fish and you’re unwilling to walk it back at all.
I asked if you think you are being kind.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug If they're unconscious, they're not cuddling.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug To your edits: I'm not comparing any individual, or their "cuddles", to a dead fish. I'm comparing any paid Pro who is unconscious for an entire session, to a dead fish.
I see. Now the people here who have indicated they are ok with a cuddler nodding off are being accused of violating consent.
Look, we agree there’s a difference between “a quick doze and Pro's (sic) who pretend to, or actually do, sleep through hours-long paid sessions”.
Those are your words. So why attribute the dead fish extreme to the cuddler who asked the question in good faith with no evidence that she is in the second camp? Sheesh.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug With the wrong person, it's a distinct risk. Being asleep is extremely vulnerable. Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped and repeatedly sexually assaulted as a young girl, was later asleep on a plane as an adult, and woke up to the man beside her touching her inappropriately...in public, in broad daylight. Everyone needs to be careful.
yikes
This is concern-trolling. You can’t publicly shame the woman for being a bad service provider and claim you are doing it to protect her.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug I did not attribute any particular person to being a dead fish. I said anyone asleep is the equivalent. I'm a dead fish when I'm asleep. Am I actively cuddling my boyfriend if I'm passed out snoring? Am I rubbing his back, listening about his work day, giving him emotional support? No. I'm a dead, unconscious fish. 😋 Does it make you feel better if I attribute it to myself? I'm not trying to be unkind to anyone. Simply staying that unconscious cuddles are deeply not my preference. As I said earlier, Quality Time is the most meaningful to me, so connecting emotionally, verbally, is what makes me glow.
OK.
I’m likely being over-sensitive here. Putting this down for tonight.
Cuddle ya later, frenz!
@MonkeyNeedsAHug posted: "You can’t publicly shame the woman for being a bad service provider and claim you are doing it to protect her."
Answering her question about preference honestly, isn't shaming her.
I can absolutely be afraid for her safety, and also disagree with the general concept of Pro's sleeping through their paid sessions. The world is not black and white. I don't want her, or anyone, to get assaulted in their sleep by some stranger. I also want paying clients to get what they pay for...if that's mutual sleep, wonderful. If it's mutual cuddles, wonderful. As I said, she just needs to be upfront with her clients if she knows she's prone to falling asleep at certain times, so they can make an informed decision.
Genuinely hope you have a good night. 🫂
@Minestrone101 I don't believe I accused anyone of anything. What a strange reply. Maybe you tagged the wrong person
@SunsetSnuggles @MonkeyNeedsAHug Y'all are both missing the point , which is that im right you're wrong so there !
@cuddlewithKyle the first definition I found in the dictionary of the word "accuse" is, "to charge with a shortcoming or error". You said, "They're just humans with error and biases like the rest of us" (referring to the mods). I agree that you're not wrong regarding the mods, but you have made an accusation.
Also, as far as asking about jumping off a bridge if the mods told a person to... agreeing with the current rules does not imply agreeing with future unreasonable rules.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug I thought your posts were full of thought and thought-provoking. That is a good thing to me.
@cuddlewithKyle "if the mods told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"
The accusation appears to be that Sunset or people who report individuals on the site are simply mindless followers. That's a pretty strange accusation isn't it? Unless I am mistaken, then I look forward your clarification.
No, because the Mods would never tell me to do that. 😊
@Bodhi777 so I've "accused" the mods of being human? Well, okay, I guess, but then you'd have to explain to me why it's a strange about that accusation. But according to minestrone, that's not even what he was talking about. He was accusing me of accusing sunset of being a mindless follower. You're talking about something else entirely but....sure. I stand by my "accusation" that the mods are entirely human and susceptible to error and bias. God forbid
@Minestrone101 I asked a question. If I ask you if you took something, am I accusing you of stealing it? No, I'm asking if you took it. One is an accusation, the other is a question. It's pretty strange that you would read a question with a question mark at the end and take it as an accusation. Youre reading into the question and getting defensive about it.. It's a question my mom used to ask me all the time growing up and I never said "mom that's a strange accusation you're making."
Anywho, I just much prefer when people respond to the actual words that I actually typed my actual self. If you want to discuss my words, let me know, but I'm not going to waste my time correcting you if you want to make assumptions and put words in my mouth. I'm an adult and I have better things to do. Enjoy your day
P.s. if I ask you if you took something, and your first response is "are you calling me a thief????" ....you're probably a thief lol
@cuddlewithKyle Well, I hesitate to speak for anyone else, but I would say the answer to your question is, no, no one would jump off a bridge when instructed to by a mod. Problem solved.
That said, this is not a public site - it is a private site. The site sets the rules, the mods enforce them, and agreeing to that is part of becoming a member here. Good, bad or indifferent, that is the system in place. I don't think any mod claims to be infallible - they do the best they can. If someone feels they can be a marked improvement over the current situation, they can always try to get a mod job and do it themselves. At the end of the day, it is their bat, their ball, and their park, like it or not.
Incidentally, I was offered a position as a mod last year. I turned it down in part because I would not have one-tenth the patience the current mods have. Forget a ban hammer, I would have an ejector button.
People will trying to Report and ban people they don’t like or disagree with. The Moderators on here are Fast and loose with the rules.
I believe you @WriterGF. I think you know your weaknesses, but I think you would be really good at moderating. I get why you don't want it.