@Jillybear87
Same reason grown mature men with daughters... set the fear in this young man that's taking his daughter out.
One of my favorite Rules For Dating My Daughter" is:
"I may appear to be a middle-aged, pot-bellied, has been, but I am the merciless, all-knowing God of your universe. Don't trifle with me. I've got a shotgun, a shovel, and 12 acres behind the house."
If your "rules for dating your daughter" are not the same as the "rules for dating your son," there is a problem.
And maybe more importantly, if your rules for your son dating someone else's daughter are not the same for someone else's son dating your daughter, there is a problem.
@TxTom This remind me a story of how a former co-worker, father of 3, introduced himself to a registered sex offender that moved next door.
Fathers getting preemptively angry at boys who date their daughters, because they expect the boys to behave just like them.
You're correct, @natickben .
If I had a son, I would be instilling in him to be respectful and chivalrous towards women.
@Sooson Excellent idea, on part of the father!
If I came across a man and bear in the woods , I would poop while making unwavering eye contact to show dominance. They would both instinctively smell my scat and know I am the true alpha. We would then build an encampment in the woods and I as their leader would wrestle them to the ground and nip them in the neck and groin when they get out of line . We would make homemade soaps and candles to sell at local farmer markets , and grow our own vegetables . Once harvesting the okra at its ripest form we would enter it in the community okra cook-off , winning first place ribbons in three of five of the events , and second place ribbons in the other two events . In our old age we will care for each other and carry the load of our feeble brother. Then once he has passed , I will carry the load for the remaining brother in my tri family pod that was created on that fateful day in the woods trail so long ago . Then once he passes , it will be only me , left with my own reflections of life , tribe, and poops . Then I too will be laid to rest in a shallow dirt grave of my own digging , ashes to ashes , dust to dust , for the birds and insects to feast upon as I fuel and nourish the earth .
@Unscented_Lemon right? Like instead of actually addressing the systemic problem, men in general prefer to go "well it's not me or anyone else I know" - and yet they "protect" their daughters and loved ones from the men they already know well? Make it make sense.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLgC3Kaa/
Protecting daughters from the worst type of man does not mean most men are like that. I talk to my son and nephews all the time about manipulative women, and how not to fall into a trap. My wife and sister did as well, that doesn't mean my wife and sister share those toxic traits.
Edited post:
Let's stop with the vs... Just cuddle
@StayFit Possibly because so many of the women cuddlers on here, pro and enthusiast, have had encounters with men who could not respect boundaries (or worse). So it is an ongoing safety concern. And I have not seen any man on here derided for sharing his trauma - what I have seen is men derided for dismissing women's trauma.
@wilderdude Nice deflection. "Not all men, so I tell my sons and nephews to watch out for manipulative women."
If only you could teach them to be decent to women. instead of jumping to "whatabout men!"
Men don’t assault women. Men protect women. Men have honor and dignity. Just because they are male members of our human race doesn’t make them men. The title of man is based on your actions.
@Unscented_Lemon I do teach them to be good to women. No idea how you jump to the conclusion that I don't.
I take issue with the sentiment of "if a father is protective of his daughter from predators that must mean the father is a predator too and knows all guys out there are just like him".
That is such an asinine reach.
.
@BrendanCasey And yet a large percentage of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men women know, so confining wariness to strangers only wouldn't be that effective.
That’s the entire point of the thought exercise though isn’t it. Is it logically correct to ‘trust’ the unknown vs the known quantity, in this case the bear?
@wilderdude I "jumped to that conclusion" because in a thread about women feeling unsafe, you felt it necessary to say how you teach your sons and nephews how to protect themselves against bad women. That's a huge whatabout. Well, that and various other comments I've seen you make.
I didn't talk about "if a father is protective of his daughter from predators". I talked about men who pretty much threaten their daughters' dates with a shotgun. Yes, I know there's probably no literal shotgun, but it's the same approach.
I hope you're capable of seeing the difference.
@Unscented_Lemon I believe I've asked you not to address me yet that seems to be something you do constantly. Can you please leave me alone?
@wilderdude I believe you've been told that this is how the internet works. When you post something publicly, such as on a forum, anyone can reply and the reply typically mentions the person being replied to.
Curious how you didn't remember this when you thought you had a chance of disproving what I was saying or changing it to be what you wanted.
Final warning
@wilderdude The most you can do is contact a mod who will probably tell both of you to stop interacting. Odds are nothing more than that would happen at this point.
I think our takeaway needs to be - especially for men to understand - that for so many women to prefer the risk of danger from a wild bear mauling us (something most of us have never encountered because it’s so rare) over the risk of harm from men committing violent acts against us (what all of women have encountered to some degree or another because IT’S SO COMMON) is incredibly sad, and men need to do better on doing the work (both inner and cultural) to be safer for us to be around at all times so that this choice comparison doesn’t have to be made.
Thinking “But I’m a good guy!” isn’t enough. Badly behaving men need to be called out by the good ones. And parents need to teach their kids consent and respect and that nobody owes them anything and boys aren’t entitled to women’s bodies and how to temper their passions. And the porn industry is a huge part of this problem since that’s the sex ed of most children now and most of porn is extremely one sided, often violent, demeaning, and a perversion of what sex was designed to be - consensual, mutual, loving, and life giving. Good men need to mentor young men and teach them a positive worldview and view of women as our honorable protectors, not predators.
There are sooo many ways we could be doing better to heal this brokenness instead of saying women are stupid and being dramatic for saying we’d prefer the bear to human men. (Personally, I’d choose the strange man over the bear simply because I know the statistics that the majority of the harm done to us by men is by ones we know and trusted, not stranger men. And with a man there’s a chance I can use social engagement and/or mace and a handgun to possibly get out of the situation, whereas with the bear those tactics are basically useless). But ultimately this is a societal problem and men must lead the charge on that as an offensive strategy to combat this. Bros (the bad guys) don’t listen to women trying to defend ourselves or engage on this topic, but they will often listen to and respect other men.
More often than not men do call out other men. If a woman accuses a guy of something you'll see so many guys come in, sometimes beat the accused up, regardless of whether he actually did what the woman was accusing him of.
I don't think it's my responsibility to call out the bad behavior of bad men just because I happen to be the same gender as them. That idea is just as ridiculous for gender as it is for race or religion (yes I'm aware that people do that as well... and it's wrong). You are only responsible for your actions and instilling proper values in your kids, nephews, etc.
When I see people having passionate conversations in the forum, I can’t help but think, is this a budding romance?
I choose both 🩷 I'd also cuddle 🤗
You sound like someone who refuses to believe women when they talk about being threatened or hurt by men. I can't say I'm surprised.
I don't think it's my responsibility to call out the bad behavior of bad men just because I happen to be the same gender as them.
No, you would do it because you're a decent person. That's the value you should be instilling in your kids, but you'd have to understand it first.
There you go, Mr. Dude, I didn't address you.