For the males here, if you don't feel free to describe what you've learned in the forums, please DM me. I'd really like to know your experience.
@donhulio
The general consensus for avoiding personal attachment to a cuddler is to make a point of cuddling with a variety of people. 👫🏻👨🏿🤝👨🏼👩🏻🤝👩🏼 One is less likely to fixate on a specific individual, that way, and if cuddles with an individual cease for any reason, you aren't left feeling alone.
For becoming attached, or indeed, addicted to cuddling in general (because it can produce strong chemical reactions and emotional highs), the typical advice for those who hire Pro's is to set a budget for cuddling, and stick to it. 📝
I've not seen any advice regarding enthusiasts, but the logical parallel would be to set a number of cuddles you allow yourself to schedule in a month, and stick to that. In all honesty though, men tend to have a hard time finding enthusiasts to cuddle with for free, so this usually wouldn't be a concern. 🤭
If you know you have a passionate/fixating personality, perhaps make a point of focusing on more than one hobby at a time. Do what you can to keep your interest flitting back and forth between subjects, not letting it alight too long on any one thing. 🦋
I think you're wonderfully self-aware, and a lovely addition to the community, here. I hope we hold your attention for a good long while, because platonic cuddling truly is a beautiful thing. 😊
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
I’ve only been on the site for just over a week. However I will say this: learning never stops. We tell our children to get through school, university, like it’s a mission to complete before they go into the world of work. But learning isn’t a mission. It’s a lifelong experience. I’m learning new things every day about myself, cuddling, the site, and the world around me.
Additional: I’m not closing myself off from the world because I got hurt once. That’s why I’m here, to remain open. And get attached to people. Getting hurt is worth the risk.
Apparently I'm radioactive , which is appropriate since that's my field of expertise. If I send you a message as an enthusiast, chances are you're going to get banned if you reply back (looking at my messages list, about 80% of those who wrote back ended up getting banned right after their first response). I sure can pick 'em!
How to communicate, respect , create, and reinforce boundaries .
1) Giving and receiving a hug is a very complicated affair. 2) Some people get very upset if you don't participate in their make-believe.
1) Giving and receiving a hug is a very complicated affair.
2) Some people get very upset if you don't participate in their make-believe.
@TxTom Yes to #1 - before this site, I'd never dreamt that a simple hug could be so complicated. When I worked at Delta airlines, I often greeted many of my coworkers with a hug. Some didn't like being hugged so I didn't hug them. It was so simple. #2, I already knew this, but the site has reinforced it
@cuddlefaery
I feel pretty much the exact same way.
@pmvines
Yeah, that was a big thing I had to learn..some people view cuddling as very simple, others as very deep.
The impression I’ve gotten is…CC was originally aimed mostly towards enthusiasts focused on simple cuddling together. Other platforms focused more on the pro side from a more formal, training, full experience type of perspective. And over time CC has kind of morphed into a weird kind of hybrid with a lot of blurry lines. So I think that’s part of why there’s that disparity in how people view cuddling.
@Cuddlesofcuddle
I don’t think that sounds crazy at all, I think it makes perfect sense. I imagine many pro cuddlers (and enthusiasts) go through similar experiences.
@Will564 I love the pros on here and some of them are among my closest of friends . Not just in a cuddle context either , but much deeper and non pro/client rooted . So this is not a slight against pro cuddling at all. I will say that I feel in my opinion it's a slippery slope to call yourself a cuddle THERAPIST , and that some of the claims I hear some make about cuddling can have a negative impact on a client. Over promise and under deliver . There are some very emotionally unwell people out there who are naive , have low self esteem , have boundary issues , and are looking for anything to help. So you have some clients who come here literally thinking that cuddling will cure their mental illness and hypertension and will make them well again . Miracle cure of sorts . And the reason they think that is because there are some pros who market it as such . This is not psychotherapy . Cuddlers are not mental health counselors. And cuddling does not take the place of heart and cholesterol meds. As I said, I love cuddling and recommend that people do it as much and as often as they comfortable with if that is indeed their thing and something they wish to do. However , please don't turn something that I like and enjoy doing into snake oil .
YOUR GUT ALWAYS KNOWS BEST 💯
If you have any worry AT ALL about a cuddler, DO NOT go through with it. Not feeling or not BEING safe isn't work any amount of money. The admin on this site are really helpful if you do need to file a police report, but it's better to not be in that situation to begin with.
Aprx 30% of prospectors on here (stat from my experience + other pros) are here for icky reasons, not platonic. But they say all the right things to get to the booking which is why YOU HAVE TO see a picture where you can see their eyes clearly.
Eyes are the windows to the soul so if you feel anything besides safe, warm, & happy looking at their eyes then DON'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
If they won't provide one, don't go through with it. Anyone who doesn't feel like you're safety is not important is not someone who deserves your time, no matter what they're paying for it.
Trust me, no amount of money gets rid of that disgusting feeling you're left with after being violated.
BUT for every jerk there are at least 4 highly respectful cuddlers on here so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to report to admin!! They WANT to keep us safe and they don't know who's a snake in the grass unless we tell them. Just always save screenshots!
Just like if you are going on a date with a strange person you've never met, if you are meeting someone for cuddles let someone know your location just in case. I've had to have police deployed & it saved my life.
I’ve never heard you explain that before and I think that clarifies a lot. I definitely agree with everything you just said, and I do agree that there’s a lot of potential danger in pro cuddling…and that for a lot of clients, they really have to understand themselves and be careful before getting into it, because it does have the potential to damage them.
However, I do think there is room in the middle between promises of therapy and cures and making pro cuddling the same as just snuggling up with a friend. I don’t think it’s wrong for there to be an emotional component to it.
I think one way to put it is kind of how one pro I’ve seen kind of described it. She was very clear that she is not a therapist and can’t offer than kind of treatment. However, she did want to create a safe space with no judgment. That allowed me to be completely open and comfortable with who I am, and I eventually told her some things I haven’t told my closest friends. And to get that with physical comfort was incredibly powerful and helpful for me.
I get there’s a danger in blurring the lines between emotional support and therapy. But I also don’t believe cuddling has to be strictly physical.
@interalia626
Those are great points. I also think getting experience with a pro can help people learn how to be a better cuddler and gain more experience, which makes other enthusiasts enjoy it too.
@interalia626 posted: "everyone I've cuddled from here seems to enjoy me enough that I have really come to believe I have value meant to be shared in this space. Honestly cuddling has become the greatest source of sense of purpose and fulfillment I've known."
That's beautiful! 🫠 So happy for you!
@Will564 posted: "getting experience with a pro can help people learn how to be a better cuddler"
I think this depends on the person. Unfortunately, I've met some guys who have only cuddled with Pro's, and due to paying to be pampered and catered to, they got into the habit and expectation that they could just lay there waiting for me to perform a service on them, continuously asking me to give shoulder massages, back scratches, etc., while never reciprocating anything...even when politely asked. Those were very disappointing and unfulfilling cuddles, for me, as I (and most enthusiasts) believe things should be more mutual.
Of course there will be an ebb and flow depending on what your cuddle friends or you are going through, and I'm very happy to be the caregiver, but it shouldn't always be one-sided.
I think it just depends on the personality of the client; if they fall into complacency and are oblivious to the mutual nature of cuddling, or if they utilize their time with a Pro to gain confidence, build skills, and take those out into the real world.
Ohhh that’s a list!!!
Where I could have been a better partner in the past. How much I love cuddling. That regardless of the fact of being a pro I still get friendship attached to my clients. Not all men are bad. There are some really great people on here. Learning about other peoples experiences in life. To be a lot more open and understanding I’ve been able to practice setting and holding a boundary. Did I mention how much I love cuddling?
@SunsetSnuggles
That’s an extremely good point, I hadn’t thought about that. I can see how someone who gets so used to getting what they want in a session might have a hard time turning it into a mutual one if they never used the opportunities with pros to explore what the other person wants or how to give touch.
It’s funny because my mind doesn’t think about it like that, so my mind didn’t got there. I view enthusiast cuddles so very different than pro ones, that my mind would automatically go to it being more mutual and making sure the other person is enjoying it as much as I am, with a lot of communication about what they like and what I can do for them.
So yeah, it makes sense that cuddling with a pro only makes a person a better cuddler if they put in the effort to make it so.
For me, since I hadn’t had any kind of intimate touch like that in a really long time, it was very beneficial for me to get experience with giving touch with a pro. But I can see how not everyone would look to do that in a session, so cuddling with a pro could detrimental even.
@Will564 It sounds like you're going about it in a healthy and caring way! 🌱🤗
My first impression about this site was from a news story that caught my eyes in late 2020 or early 2021. Talked about people feeling so isolated as a result of the pandemic lockdowns, that there was a large surge in professional cuddling. That seemed really weird to me for a number of reasons, including I was still self isolating being high risk for infection and inflammation.
Fast forward to early last year, I was still really struggling health wise after heavy tolls of a family emergency and getting viciously sick from covid in the process. I was also approaching a series of dates with very bad memories associated with. Have no family in the area. Knew I needed something different. I remembered that article and found the site. Messaged a couple pros. Met with one and enjoyed enough that I booked again within a month for my birthday. Have had a few more sessions beyond that.
I now check this site multiple times per week. I wish there were more active and detailed profiles in my area. I read through forum topics that peak my curiosity. I enjoy browsing profiles of those that get featured on the home page tab. I have read some that go in more depth about what a session would be like and thought that sounds nice and I’d like to try that.
It’s been nice connecting with some people on some shared experiences including health limitations.
Cuddling can be therapeutic in ways people may not expect. I asked the pro I was with if would be alright to use my right hand to gently caress her back or arm depending on the position. She said yes and that it felt real nice. Repeated in later sessions but I eventually shared that was helpful for me after I had a bunch of rehab to regain much of the function in that hand to do such continuous movements. Also, can help retrain body to to positive touches. I have areas where most contact by others has been for medical treatments, so can be helpful but may not relaxing or pleasant at the time.
One thing that’s interesting to me is seeing how much this site has opened by eyes to gender relations between men and women (and not just because there have been threads explicitly talking about it). I tend to live in a bubble about this kind of thing, since I spend a lot of time by myself and have never sought a romantic relationship.
I think it’s why it was such a shock to me just how many men will pay a woman pro cuddler for something very similar to an enthusiast experience. It’s opened my eyes to the fact that there is a market for that kind of thing based on the gender dynamics of society. I feel like my own reasons for cuddling are so different than this, and I have a very strong tendency to not understand how different I can be from other people.
It’s interesting to me how cuddling on this site is a huge reflection of society as a whole in a way that I never really sat down to think about before coming here.
@Will564 Thank you for your insights.
@TR23 Sounds like you've found a way to make physical therapy considerably more pleasant. Rock on!
I’ve learned that you can have a connection to a person, without the need to prove yourself, give a ‘good account’ of yourself the way you do in a relationship. It takes a load of pressure off. We can just cuddle.
now I wonder why zerogone40 left.
@1_teddybear He has thirty days before it is final. He may be back. That happens a lot.
The doors are better at expressing it than I am.
I have learned… that as long as you provide basic info and can hold a decent convo, then the chances of getting a cuddle session are almost guaranteed. Oh and throwing a bunch of money around seems to help a bit. I also learned that some people are not worth the price of a cuddle and sometimes even good karma can be misleading. Lastly I learned that some people take this shit way too seriously and need to realize it’s not that deep.
Things I’ve learned.
Thousands of people do not receive affection, platonic intimacy. I’m gonna start wearing my free hugs shirt a lot more now. Usually wear it less than 5 times a year
@Biglovin Your insights and experience is very much appreciated.
After a series of cuddles, the affects are much further reaching than I'd imagined. So separating out for other factors like love relationships, massages, and even friendship, approaching cuddling as strictly a companion oriented endeavor has revealed how long lasting just cuddling can be. I've only cuddled with enthusiasts.
@PeopleLikeUs So glad you have found a way to make this work for you. Rock ON!