At the risk of having my tattered hide mercilessly flogged, I now practice shameless Thread Necromancy... because I was wondering about this, myself! lol
I've told my Inner Circle, but protect this sacred knowledge from Negative Nancies who would INSTANTLY assume that something else was happening. I do, however, have a couple of friends who nonchalantly brought the topic back up a few months after I'd first mentioned it!!! Hopefully, they'll join the site, too!
I told one close friend about this site and she immediately assumed it was a cover for sex work. So I don't bother bringing it up to people, I don't have the time or energy to argue about it.
I will not tell anyone because people are far too judgmental. There are causes I will fight for and cuddling is not a hill I care to die on in my everyday life. This is probably an American thing as our prudish keep it to yourself view of sex has been baked in our culture since the pilgrims. So anytime intimacy conversations occur regarding cuddling in America for every enlightened individual who says cool there will be ten others who equate it to sex work or the decline of western civilization because of unspeakable perversions. The only thing perverse is the leap from touch to orgy in people’s minds without ever trying it.
Naw, only people need to know is who I'm cuddling now.
💯
People who I cuddle with know I cuddle
I have been a cuddler since long before it had that name. Only recently have I found friends who do not think less of me because of it. Virtually everyone I have told in the past, especially women, have thought me less of a man because I desired affection and intimacy more than sex. It took a while, but I came to terms with it.
My roommate knows - i had to tell her when she saw someone leaving one morning and then again the same day someone was leaving when she got home from work, As I didn’t want her thinking the worst 😂 And I have told a couple of friends whom I trust
I have friends that I trust that I have told. I told the couple who made my "wanna cuddle" shirt at a convention and they had heard about pro cuddling and were actually very interested in knowing more about the cuddling world. 😊🫂
👀 I've had a few people (mostly non friends) assume it's a cover for sex... then again, some of them couldn't separate sex from cuddles because it's what THEY do AFTER sex. 🙄😩
I don't remember exactly when but sometime after I had joined this site I saw a mainstream show explore cuddling in San Francisco. (As seen on Netflix's"Bill Nye Saves the World" Season 2 Episode 3) I thought oh cool I can play this and see what friends think of the concept. Yeah. The two friends I have who already know I'm trying this were chill but other friends were more like "that is a gateway to prostitution". So I carefully share with my safety net but generally keep this to myself. I feel that like mental health it would take an ad campaign to normalize in society and it would happen in a generation or two. I try not to assume that the therapeutic aspect cuddling that I desperately need in my life is needed by all. Two members of my own household have very different needs for connection (touch is rarely welcome). I try to respect that and hope they do the same for me. I understand we are just wired differently.
I tell people. I'm proud that I can /have helped a lot of people find some peace. Even if just for an hour or two. About half of people think it is 'sex work lite' or 'ok, but you are really there for something else, right'... Anddd those are people I make a note to never book or be alone with. 🤷♀️ The other half are suprised, excited and say 'hell yes. It's about time that was a thing' The need is definitely there. People can live such compartmentalized fractured lives with very little in person interaction now. You don't have to try and be isolated- it really can just happen. I think people who are more self-aware immediately understand the value of platonic touch and why hiring a pro is both easy and (honestly) time efficient. Lol.
I’ve told everyone. To me it seems less nefariously intended if it’s not something you think you have to hide. No one was surprised by the information…not even my mother…but very curious and wanted to be sure I was safe. I explain it’s completely strictly platonic, answer any questions they have and let them think whatever they want to without having any influence on my own opinions, values, morals or confidence. The people who are for you always will be no matter what, and those who are not never will be….no matter what. In the words of the late Dr. Suess…. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
The friends I mostly surround myself with are very well acquainted with the topic and know that I do it. So it's no biggie. I don't really associate with people except cousins or work associates that are not familiar. I mean I have a shirt that says
Cuddle Slut ☑️
No... unless it's on a dating profile then I may or may not mention it. I've never felt the need to bring it up in conversations. Although now that you mentioned I feel like on one hand it could be a good way to actually potentially find someone. Though also it could be a good way to find hundreds of guys who also "love" cuddling, just for them to follow up with their eggplants in some way or another. So maybe not such a great idea or it can be okay depending on how mature the other person is and if we can communicate effectively.
A $100 cuddle is money much better spent than a $30 conversation with a therapist.
@TxTom I think that depends on the conversation that was had and/or whether or not it leads to more support.
I don't bring it up randomly, but like other things I do or have done in life I don't hide that I'm a pro cuddler either. No reason to--it isn't like I'm ashamed of it or anything--and 20+ years in indy pro wrestling taught me how to very effectively verbally shut down people who try to shame me, etc. 😆
I have told a few people. Who knows how they really feel about it. They are all still my friends so I guess they were ok with it.
I won't tell most people though. I think most people are worthless to talk to about important things. And this would be a important thing to me. Worthless if not outright harmful.
I did talk it over with my therapist before I started. She thought it was a good idea if I kept certain things in mind. And it has been good. One of the pros I just think is awesome.
But my current therapist is aces. Some of the best money I've ever spent. She has actually helped me heal things. Not all therapists have.
I don't tell anybody outside of the cuddle circle. There's a stigma, men perceived as "weak" for needing/waning a platonic cuddle.
There's a stigma, men perceived as "weak" for needing/waning a platonic cuddle.
I disagree. Men have always sought the affection of women. It's no secret.
Some people will call a man weak for wanting to cuddle instead of having sex. I've seen it personally, from men, women, and the media.
Whether it rises to the level of stigma, I can't say.
But besides being called weak, a man also risks being called creepy, among others things.
And women get called things too, especially the pros.
@TxTom yes, but you are missing part of what I'm saying. Paying for platonic affection is seen as weak by some.
@wilderdude Those whom see it as weak are most definitely making an error in judgment.
@TxTom that's neither here nor there.
@TxTom Where are you finding a therapist that charges only $30? 😂 That’s a steal!! Or maybe it’s not, and that’s why a cuddle is better. I’m guessing you are guessing a price.
@TxTom
$100 cuddle and $30 therapist, what alternate universe do you live in 🤣
@CuddleHugs01234 @Morpheus
I dunno. I've never paid for a therapist. I don't know what they cost.
I was just quoting this guy, from page 1...
A cuddler and a therapist provide two very different services. If you're using cuddlers as therapists, you're doing it wrong. And putting a huge, often unwanted burden on the cuddler.
@txtom The $30 was a copay. The local one that a person I know sees, is $130 for 45 minutes, and they don’t accept insurance. You can submit your super bill to insurance though and it goes to your out of network deductible. Yes, I could tell you hadn’t dealt with one. (now you an quote more accurately or with more info 🤣🤣)
My therapist charges $200 an hour. My insurance covered it 100% She told me after a year that she was no longer taking insurance to which I replied, I have magically suddenly just healed 🤣