People who stop responding/ghost after making plans

BerrySweetBerrySweet
in General

This shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but it’s very irritating. It happens to me quite a bit. Someone will message me on here interested in cuddling and when I say these days and times work for me, which days and times work for you, I hear nothing back. Or I could send them a message that warrants a response and I get nothing. I feel like people like that waste my time by messaging me. Has this happened to anyone else recently? Why do people do that?

Comments

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Yes I've had people do that. Its really annoying.
    I think they just found someone else to cuddle with, or changed their mind and they don't think its worth the trouble to tell you that or they want to avoid confrontation etc.

  • liveninpjsliveninpjs

    Same here! Many times that profile will later show up as banned so I figure I've dodged a headache when I get ghosted.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    There are no consequences for ghosting on the Internet and people often feel no obligation to someone they only know online. Ask any job-seeker -- doing interviews (often multiple ones with one company) and then getting ghosted is trending toward commonplace.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @BerrySweet Your question is nearly the same as the first one I ever asked here. Since then, I've learned a lot about "netiquette," namely, there isn't much.

    Unfortunately, it just goes with the territory.

    What helped me was just assuming every message I composed was being sent to a brick wall. That mitigated the disappointment. And if the brick wall ever responds, it's like the scientist discovering life. (Just like the scene in Contact when the Jodie Foster character unexpectedly hears the signal from space repeating in prime numbers.)

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute
    edited May 2024

    Last year I was looking for a job. I kept track of every job I applied to, every interview, all of my best interview questions and answers, etc. I was getting discouraged by all of the ghosting & getting rejected.

    But I decided to turn all that into motivation. I figured the chances of me finding a job in my very competitive field were 1 in 100. So I needed to hear 99 no’s to get to hear 1 yes. Ghosting or getting ignored doesn’t count towards that 99. Those don’t deserve to be counted. I only counted expressed rejections or nos. Instead of being bummed out by each no I got excited to get a no. Because each no got me closer to a yes; since I decided my odds were 1 in 100. So in 7 months I applied to 130 jobs, I had 17 interviews, I got 29 nos before I got a yes! 1 in 29 isn’t bad. And I wasn’t paying attention to the ghosting and negativity because I changed what my attention was on.

    Just a shift in my perspective changed the way I dealt with the negativity I was getting.

    You can’t change people ghosting you.
    You can only change your perspective, your mind, and the way you approach it.

    Be well!

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @ShaneSchrute - Excellent advise / perspective! Thank you for sharing 👍

  • jillyainjillyain

    @BerrySweet all the time! It’s so annoying-
    They ask about times for a specific day or week, and I then go into detail with when I have availability and …. Crickets,

    Then sometimes a few weeks later they will ask again, and one more time I will give some availability times, and if i then don’t hear back I just delete the person,

    Recently there was one I had who has done that 2 times and so I deleted him, (not blocked) he then messages me again,
    it’s been a couple weeks and he said
    ‘sorry ive been so long in responding’

    And I called him out on it-
    I said you’ve asked me about my availability twice now and when I listed it - you ghosted me - so I have since deleted our thread,
    You are wasting my time and I don’t appreciate that.

    And the only reason I even gave him that courtesy is because he has multiple karmas!

    I always give a bit more leeway if they have like 5-6 or more good karmas,

    He again apologized and said he’d see when he is available-
    I figure there is a 99% chance I will not hear from him, and if he has not replied in 2 weeks I will then delete him again.

    Anyways - I basically expect that to happen with 8 out of 10 people that reach out-
    I have set my expectations low.

    And @ShaneSchrute that's an awesome way of looking at your job hunting- and congratulations on your job!
    It is so true- it’s all about perspective in life in general.

  • UREverythingUREverything

    I went to bed last night with a plan yo get some stuff done and in particular a really good idea to move ahead in on thing in particular.
    When I woke up this morning, I forgot my really good idea and everything else.
    My ideas ghosted me.

    If I dont go into detail an write stuff down I will forget.
    If I write to much stuff down I will forget the simple point I needed to make.

    Communication with myself is a work in progress. Online communication has a snowballs chance in hell when non internet life has me overwhelmed. A cuddle would be nice but if its not at the tip of the list of things to do, the thought of a cuddle or just saying hello is even better.

    I guess everyone gets ghosted but the moral of the story is people on here would just like it to stay friendly like casper since we are all trying to get a genuine good feeling from being on here. That Dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin hit.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    LinkedIn has more ghosts than Hill House at this point.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    If you’re a pro and experiencing this, you’re experiencing what many small businesses and contractors experience. Consumers shop around and try to find what they feel is the best value for their money. I can’t imagine an appliance repair person or a roofer or someone like that is going to get upset and block someone for not calling them back. It’s just part of business and as a professional, you’re a business person. Not every encounter is going to result in a successful sell. Taking it personally really does no good.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @WriterGF 🤣🤣 Unfortunately this is so true. My son, who just moved back in with me because the company he worked for laid off hundreds, said kind of the same thing. Companies get tweaky during election years.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    People are flakey. Par for course unfortunately.

  • acw041acw041

    They’re asking multiple people when they’re available. You were not the first choice for those who ghosted you.

  • [Deleted User]GenZcuddles (deleted user)

    Yes, it is very annoying and rude. Even worse when the pros are the ones ghosting after agreeing to having a session but I guess you can't take that pro title seriously on here lol.

  • panda619panda619

    Things come up 🥸

  • UREverythingUREverything

    I do have a few thoughts on this for real! Let me gather them together a post what they are later.

  • jay_varjay_var

    @GenZcuddles especially when the Pros were the one that initially reached out to you directly

  • [Deleted User]MusicalGenius (deleted user)

    Just happened to me twice in Alabama smh sooooo what happens if the pro asked for a deposit and then ghosts you??? This didn’t happen to me with these pros but it makes me think if I pay out a deposit, what’s to stop them from ghosting

  • SoosonSooson

    @MusicalGenius I would avoid paying a deposit. If you really want to see them and they have multiple karma with no recorded history of deposit issues, than you might consider a deposit. but even then, not before exchanging personal information.

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