As a new Enthusiast, what should I expect?

Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
in General

I don’t want to act like a Pro, I don’t want to feel like an Employee or Service Provider or Therapist. I do like conversation while cuddling and for it to be casual.
I hope for less awkward, nervousness. I want to feel cuddled.
Would love some advice from those who have this experience - both being Enthusiasts.

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Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    You're way overthinking this. Outside of CC nobody knows what an enthusiast is.

    Go out. Meet someone. Make a connection. The hugs may then be forthcoming.

  • pmvinespmvines

    As someone who has spent time with you , I would say to just simply be your amazing self! And you aren't a pro anymore so you are able to be as choicey as you want to be . Don't accept anything less than what YOU want and what YOU are comfy with . Don't let anybody try to make you feel like they have the right to cuddle . It's all up to you now .

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @TxTom I don’t think you understand the purpose of my post. I go out and meet people all the time as an artist, It’s part of the job. I’m social actually.
    I was applying my question to this site. I Feel that the dynamics of a session for me, will feel different. It is a new role than being a Pro maybe. I have changed because I want to receive cuddles. Maybe I don’t know how to find that experience.
    @pmvines I think you nailed it and that is probably because you know me and you are intuitive. Thank you and what you said helps.
    I wondered if other Enthusiast women understood what I meant. I think I get it.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @g_w_t_w I guess switching from
    Being a pro to an enthusiast can feel odd, I wouldn’t know as I was never an enthusiast. But as enthusiast, what I look for from a fellow enthusiast is a bit mutual enthusiasm (lol) about each other. Your ‘payment’ being that you will having a shared cuddle experience, so feel free to talk about what YOU are looking for from a cuddle session.

    If you’ve started a conversation with someone you don’t feel is a great fit, feel free to let the conversation organically expire (or politely inform them that you can’t go forward if you are comfortable with that)

    You don’t have to be pressured to jump into cuddling l, you can do a public coffee meet or similar first so that helps you get a better in person vibe for someone

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Thank you @sunnysideup
    I think you get what I mean. It will be a different mindset for me and I will try to not overthink it, @TxTom 😊

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @g_w_t_w *sorry I meant to say I was never a pro

  • pmvinespmvines

    @g_w_t_w
    When you and I crossed paths it was as two friends meeting for the first time , and not in context of client /pro. It wasn't even about cuddling , it was about two people getting to spend time together after getting to know each other first. Keep that in mind when engaging with people on here . If they aren't friends first , then it's just not going to be a good connection or cuddle because it will mean that they have not put in the effort to connect and focus on you as a person, and not just as a warm body to help meet their needs as is the case with so many clients . If someone is able to take the time to find out about what your needs are and what makes you you , then they will more likely be a good cuddle friend .

  • LoriAnn78LoriAnn78

    @pmvines very well expressed! 🙂

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @pmvines so well expressed. You know me so well and what I was trying to say.
    I would like to use some of that in my profile to show clearly I’m looking for. 😊🤗

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited June 2024

    @pmvines agreed great way of putting making a quality enthusiast connection.

  • [Deleted User]1_teddybear (deleted user)

    @g_w_t_w I really do wish you the best on the next chapter of your journey. Peace.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @1_teddybear
    That is so kind for you to say - I appreciate it!
    Peace and happy cuddling to you as well
    😊🤗

  • hoping4snugshoping4snugs

    @g_w_t_w I think perhaps pmvines nailed it. I've been on this site a cupple of years now under 2 profiles. I have met up with people after short get to know ya's and the experiences were not good. But the ones I really enjoyed (still do) are the ones who chatted, shared, and invited me in first. I'm meeting a new someone next week because they have been polite and patient. It may not get past coffee but that's okay. I have time to invest in seeking genuine connections.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @g_w_t_w As a former enthusiast, I loved during that time being able to reach out to whomever I wanted to cuddle. Pros don’t have that luxury. Take full advantage of that. Hugs 🤗

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @CuddleHugs01234
    Thanks so much for bringing that up, I haven’t reached out to anyone yet. I’m so used to being a pro and not doing that so maybe I will now. 😇

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @g_w_t_w You are welcome! You’ll have pick of the litter. :)

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Oh well not so sure of that But I’m looking forward to the adventure ahead!

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    @g_w_t_w I bet it's so much easier not trying to "make the sale" now. It sounds like it's friendship you're after, and friendships are casual and equal. Cuddling is no longer "a service you provide," it's an added bonus to a friendship.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @starrynitecuds
    Yes I think your assessment is close, I do want to have a different type of cuddle experience here. I don’t expect the typical obligations of a traditional friendship because I’m very independent and worry about attachment. It’s difficult for me, both directions. But maybe if I met the right Cuddler here it could turn into a regular thing.
    I have definitely found out here that there are so many nuances/variations to what someone calls a friendship.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Ain't that the truth!

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @g_w_t_w
    First, I wish you all the best in this next phase you are entering.

    Having never been a pro, I am limited in my perspective but I have wonderful cuddles with numerous pros and enthusiasts so I can share my perspective from a client’s point of view.

    Sometimes, it is nice to be the center of attention when you hire a pro. When I first joined this site, I needed that. It was nearly a year before my first cuddle with an enthusiast and it was incredible. For lack of a better term, it was so much more mutual than cuddling with a pro.

    The other thing is, again for lack of a better word, so authentic. That is not meant as a knock against pros but when money is involved, there is always at least the perception / question that they are only spending time with you because of the money, With an enthusiast, you KNOW they are spending time with you because they want to spend time with you. They are getting something out of the time you share together and it is not financial. That makes the interaction feel much more “organic”, authentic, and shared.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds
    edited June 2024

    @g_w_t_w
    Maybe include an activity, like going to a movie or browsing a museum? Up my way, some communities have "movie in the park" nights. Bring your own blanket or chairs. Maybe find someone who shares an interest. Like anything else, it takes work and time.

    I have definitely found out here that there are so many nuances/variations to what someone calls a friendship.

    Friendship requirements aren't set in stone, every one is different. My friendships constantly evolve. I am slowly making friends here, some people are receptive, others aren't. It's fine, I learn and move on and don't take it personally.

  • MrPaulMrPaul

    @g_w_t_w
    I read your profile and it’s clear and I understand what you’re looking for here. It’s up to you to co-create the experience you want and type of friendship that you are seeking with others. Some people will work out and others will not. The only way to find out is to keep putting effort into your search, and into the relationship with each person that appears to have potential. Like tending a garden, what you nurture can grow. I wish you the best.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited June 2024

    @MrPaul
    I’ve been a Pro for more than 2 years. Most of it was to do all the creating of cuddling experiences during that time. I’m very good at that. I know how to make a Cuddler feel comfortable and to guide him through the process, explaining carefully all the way.
    I hope I can relax a bit and put that kind of role in the past. As I said earlier, I’m tired of being the employee, of being in charge and making it all happen. A lot of the time not receiving much in return. It’s exhausting sometimes.
    I’ve had a session recently as an enthusiast and actually it was just more of the same. At least meet me halfway & make an effort.

    And I will note that since I changed and added to my profile based on some good advice here, especially from @pmvines, The messages have slowed down. That tells me that a lot of people don’t really want to make the effort to get to know me first. Many men still want to receive all the attention. I do have faith that there are good experiences ahead.
    ETA actually no, @MrPaul, in Enthusiast cuddling, it shouldn’t be up to just one person to create the experience. That’s what I’m trying to get away from. Maybe your only experiences is with pros.

  • MrPaulMrPaul

    @g_w_t_w
    I think the effort for you is to voice what you want and not just make the cuddle experience for the other person satisfying. It’s unfortunate that so few people put in the effort that you do, but that’s reality.

    I put a lot of effort into my cuddle experiences too. I ask my partner what they want, as well as suggesting my preferences. It’s not easy to find partners who do the same, but it’s possible. It may take contacting a hundred just to find one.

    If someone is not meeting you halfway, even after you clearly communicate that need, then that person is probably not going to work out for you and you have to keep looking. Many people on this website go years before finding someone, and not always for lack of trying.

    If you look back on the people who you met as a pro, can you identify anyone who was as attentive to you then as you now seek?

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @MrPaul
    💯 I need to stop filling in the space when the other person doesn’t make the effort. I can’t change their behavior, but I can change mine. It’s just that I’ve always been a pleaser always been the one making the effort. I was raised to do that and honestly, I don’t like that about myself.
    A lot of good advice here and I really appreciate the fact that you all made an effort! 🙏🏻😊🤗

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    @starrynitecuds -

    "_Friendship requirements aren't set in stone, every one is different. My friendships constantly evolve. I am slowly making friends here, some people are receptive, others aren't. It's fine, I learn and move on and don't take it person_ally."

    This is Wisdom we all need to live by.
    Very well said.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    I haven’t been a pro, but having hired lots of pros my main criteria when seeking out a cuddle partner is exactly the same for enthusiasts as it is for pros - I only want those people who are doing it because cuddling provides as much benefit to them as it does to me. It’s the mutual enjoyment of the session and the human connection resulting from that which is the true oxytocin release mechanism, in my opinion. In that sense, being a pro and enthusiast shouldn’t be much different - but you will find a lot more options now open to you now that you are an enthusiast. For me, even though I’m an enthusiast, I vet any potential cuddle partner (pro or enthusiast) as though I were the pro myself. I say as a pro you have developed great skills on how to provide cuddles and also great intuition on what kind of cuddle partner you would like for yourself - and that works in your favor now that you are an enthusiast. So I’d say use that same intuition which you have honed in two years of doing this as a pro, and you will do just fine!

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    @g_w_t_w as an enthusiast, I feel cuddles are 100/100%, not 50/50. It may be difficult to utilize a former client in your transition because they most likely haven't cuddled an enthusiast before and will expect the same dynamic, without even realizing it. It may be easier for you to find someone new to you but has cuddled an enthusiast before?

    I was chatting with someone who was used to hiring pros. He still thought he was the focus, and this was just free pampering for him. It's a difficult mindset to change, so I bowed out to avoid conflict. I'm still learning to not always be a people pleaser. (He said nothing inappropriate or boundary-concerning, so no complaints there.)

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @starrynitecuds this! ⬆️⬆️⬆️
    You nailed it. And that idea had already been going around in my mind. But hadn’t come to the surface so thank you for your post.
    I need to start fresh. And honestly, I don’t want to make anyone mad but most men it seems from my experience have expectations for women to care for them (in a certain way). That sounds weird because you would think it would be the other way around and it may only be because I tend to be the pleaser and the giver so I need to sit back and let the hugs happen. 🙏🏻🤗

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