Welcome to the site @MarkusPhoenix and THANK YOU FOR SERVING!!! I'm a Navy Mom myself... so HOOYAH!! 🌈🧡🤍💙😊
I know you just joined a little bit ago, and thank you for taking time to fill out your profile and add all of those fabulous pictures. @Gary is admin and @Mark is the site owner. They would be the ones to be able to help figure out your user pic. My settings are also blocked to public visitors and like @JohnR1972 you can see my pic in the forums. Maybe its just a glitch.
I heard a few things in your post that I wanted to address. First.... you said
unless the woman is trying to mislead the guy into given up money to them or giving them something of great monetary value.
If ANYONE is trying to get money from you and doesn't have a pink "P" or professional status button on their page, please report them to the moderators because that is against the site rules and its a beautiful thing if we can keep this community a little more "platonically snuggly" with the reporting and banning process.
That being said...
My experience, after being here for a few years and reading all of the forums throughout that time, the BIGGEST reason that women don't respond to messages is about safety and connection. There are a MILLION threads about this specific subject. I think you have a clear understanding of how some men come across.... because you also said
it is strictly because a lot of men are, no easy way to say it but to say it, disgusting when it comes to talking to strangers.
This is unfortunate of course. Women experience a LOT of yuck and when someone is brand new, they haven't been "vetted" yet. (I know that everyone has the potential of being a jerk face but OP is asking specifically about women responding to men,)
I can't speak for anyone else other than me and my own experience, but newbies like you just have to exercise some patience if you are hopeful to get a connection with an enthusiast. There are quite a few of us out here, but it takes time to find someone that you relate to and have a feeling of safety, as well as a cuddle connection.
I hope the Community treats you well and as always.... "May the Cuddle Gods be EVER in your favor!!"
Just remember.... You know who you are and what you deserve, if someone else can't see that, then maybe you are "at the wrong address."
@sillysassy
Thank you for your comment. It helps to feel understood by yourself and the others that have posted in support and help with understanding how the site works. It's summer time and many have jobs, unlike myself where I am lucky enough to only have to work part time.
I won't go into great detail about my history, but self esteem and understanding my worth has been a long time struggle. This last divorce has made it epically clear that I have much more and am worth much more than what I have been getting not only as a man but as a person in general.
It seems that I have come across as expecting something or am deserving of something when basically trying to gather information for myself and some new point of views. I have sent messages to some cuddlers that I've come across that had minor spelling or mistakes or a completely misused word, example: recently a cuddler wrote that they are not interested in cuddling makes, and I reached out to them to verify that they meant men not makes, as we all know that the pronouns have changed to be more inclusive. They thanked me for bringing to their attention and thats all I wanted to do and want to do is to help, support and give back to those that might not be able to receive proper attention, meaning healthy and uplifting, not typical behavior that has been coming or prevalent in recent years.
If you're looking for a female enthusiast, it is extremely difficult. Men way outnumber women here and women are besieged. You could be getting no response because your message is #1023 of 1025.
As has been noted, finding an enthusiast means building trust. If you do hear back, it could be months before you get a cuddle out of it. Be prepared to be patient.
As I am sure you know, that is why pros exist. Hiring a pro is the quickest way to get what this site promises. A fair number of the enthusiasts you may encounter are just waiting for their pro status to be approved, which is another reason they may not be looking to cultivate "free" relations.
I'm fairly new to the cuddling community as a whole and am an enthusiast. At first when I would get questioned about what I charge, I didn't even understand the question as I didn't realize there were professional cuddlers.
As an enthusiast, I can attest that I get many messages. That is one reason for not responding to some. For me personally responding has nothing to do with 6 packs versus dad bods, it has to do with a feeling I get about a person. Do they seem genuine? Trustworthy? Do I feel safe or scared?
To be honest, if someone pressures or demands, I don't respond and even block. That really is scary and comes across as controlling, pushy and scary. I've had too many negative personal experiences with controlling, entitled, narcissists to allow those type of individuals into my personal space. Just because someone is a cuddling enthusiast who doesn't charge, doesn't mean we have to accept just anyone willingly into our arms and homes.
One reason I am on the cuddling site is that I'm not looking for anything aggressive in any way. Frankly, whether the cause of the behavior is limited social skills, autism, mental health issues etc. isn't relevant. All that matters is that everyone has the free will to choose who they feel comfortable cuddling with. Period.
I don't see where a question was asked, so not sure what you want to know. I was thinking about how I avoid 6 pack ab guys because I'm afraid they will be shallow, vain and boring (even tho I don't believe in stereotyping, go figure). But you say you don't want to hear all women are not like that. Maybe you want to know if there are more than 2 kinds of women. There are.
There are at least a handful of women here who will offer goodhearted help without strings attached.
Are you asking if modifying your profile would help? I think your profile is fine. It's almost too long but fine as it is. I think most people are ok with tattoos even if they don't like them, but some don't like tattoos.
If you are curious if dadbods get cuddles, I think quite a few do, but who knows who thinks of themselves as having a dadbod?
It's definitely true that people that are considered good-looking get more and easier help. Also younger people. That leaves some of us with trying to look our best and maybe still not getting the help and stuff we could use. Or going it alone. Or hiring help if you can afford it.
You might want to add something to your profile about your qualities on the inside. You have some impressive skills but they would not necessarily relate to cuddling. Kudos to you for dressing up at Halloween like your daughter wanted.
I've not read the thread in detail.
@sillysassy Yes. 🙌🏼 love your response and assist on the private pic debacle with tags.
And no money or bartering is allowed for enthusiasts. I was not sure whom or which site OP referenced. Surely a mod has reached out soon to clarify.
Although that is an avenued theme with online dating and such other sites.
Love how the OP stated “MY PERSONAL BELIEF and only my belief is that we shouldn't be trying to make money off of cuddling and that supporting one another is the best kind of payment there is.” While still being open for perspectives on his experience and views forum subject.
Yes , you can message me. There are many snippets from your thoughts in this thread you can utilize to have an even more genuine approach.
With that said, we all have social media batteries 🔋 🪫.
@WriterGF
I was approved the day I signed up, but canceled it because I thought It was like saying, "I'm new here and I'm the best so I should be paid for this" - MY WORDS ONLY, please don't take it to heart. It's the best I could come up with to say how silly I felt about being day one and a pro when I have no reviews meetings and as someone said, vetted.
Almost every website is male dominated and thats okay. I have the time. I mean I prefer to find someone, like anyone else, to have a session with but unless you're paying for it chances are extremely slim and I'm okay with that too. I'm never going to ask a pro to go free for me for any reason, but if they put it in their profile that they offer "pay what you can" and when questioned about, change the story. That puts me back on the watch list for scams. I actually blocked that person because thats not right by any means.
@HugBuddy33
I was going to see if you're profile says enthusiast or something that isn't just pro, but you're profile isn't available. I agree with you that it's about safety and comfort with the person which is why I put it into my profile. I'm not comfortable around men or being close to men and I'm not going to pretend I'm okay with it.
I have plenty of trauma surrounding narcissists and I won't be apart of that group or let that group into my life again.
@achetocuddle
basically you answered it all right here. If I wanted to be picky about terminology and usage of words and things like that I'd say that when you said there are more than 2 kinds of women. Then I got to thinking, you know she's right Absolutely right I didn't specify what that meant. I made a blanket statement about not wanting to hear all women are the same even though in my heart I know not all women are the same. I've dated all kinds of women or well not "date", but have spent time with all kinds and learned a ton from all of them, but still I have issues understanding and conversing with women in general and I think my word usage could be one of the main issues.
@SunshineHug
Thank you for allowing me to message you privately.
Thankfully the only experiences I've had on cuddle comfort so far is either no response to thankful for noticing minor errors on the cuddlers page that would help either clarify or correct meaning behind what was posted. The one cuddler I mentioned that had "uncomfortable meeting makes" and they meant men. I brought it to their attention it was important to me to let them know because there are those men and people in general that would be like, "it doesn't say you don't meet men on your profile". Then something hugely negative gets started and it hurts to know that people are capable, willing and have or do those kinds of things when it's clearly and error of autocorrect or quick typing.
It hurts it really does that we have those among us that have lost the genuine "I understand" concept from within.
@MarkusPhoenix Male pros get no business, so going pro would not have been worth your time. Most every woman on here has a line of guys willing to cuddle for free, they don't need to pay for it.
@WriterGF Absolutely right.
I’m not really sure why certain members appear to be getting aggressive. The OP did nothing wrong. Yes he asked for females opinions but recently @1_teddybear asked for men’s opinions, only 1 female even commented to his thread and no one became aggressive. Why are we treating one member with love and respect but not the other. Y’all may not agree with him but from what I have read, he hasn’t done anything wrong nor has he been rude. Unless I missed something and if I did, please tell me.
@Morpheus
Thank you for noticing. Thank you so much. As some men have written on here. I showed them the same respect that they shared with me. I had one person come in very strong very aggressive and I tried to keep it cordial and hopefully they can respect that my request was not for attention but information and I've received a lot and thank you again for saying this. It means a lot to me.
Yea I know. I summarized his point , and did so briliantly as I allways do. But people still seem to miss it, or just not wanting to address it directly which is fine.
Bottom line seems to be he doesn't want a pro, he wants an enthusiast, which is possible but can also be only slightly more likely than getting an invitation from a leprechaun to ride on his unicorn over the rainbow.
@MarkusPhoenix It was once implied to me that the reason I have had decent luck making connections here is due to being somewhat good looking . I found that offensive because it completely disregards the amount of time , attention , and effort I put into creating opportunities to build rapport and establish genuine friendships with people. Cuddling will come if it's meant to happen , but friendships and connections are the key reason why im here . And I'm not successful with that because I'm moderately cute. There are definitely people much younger , in better shape, and more handsome than myself who aren't having any luck here.
Hey @pmvines
@MarkusPhoenix Well I do have to agree with you that I was right, lol (no one said I was modest). It was difficult to discern what you might be wanting to know. Unfortunately having difficulty conveying what you are trying to say will make establishing a connection with anyone harder. I wish I could say it's not so. One thing that helps is proofread at least once before posting. I don't always do this and it has caused a little problem. There are quite a few people here who have few to no cuddles even after making a big effort. It doesn't mean you have to be one of them, but it takes a lot of work for almost everyone.
Men, after reading all this I need an advil
The cool people call it Ibuprofen.
After reading this I have lost the point so I went back the beginning to skim for highlights and am still confused. Not about your original question but about all the dialog after. So here is my answer to what may or may not be the question you are asking.
What you are talking about men and women experience. The difference between me and you is an unending overwhelming supply of options. I totally have Mom bod and sometimes I care but mostly I don't and sometimes men care. I exchange photos and quips and find myself ghosted and even blocked. I am very much a realist and am not competing with any of the many beautiful (both inside and out) female enthusiasts on this site. I am enjoying the banter, reading the forums, and making connections. Some of those connections have led to actual cuddling. Woo-hoo. Yes there has to be something that attracts me to them. Usually it's a smile and if there are enough pictures style and personality peak through. The interest is maintained strictly by personality but it's a fine line.
I don't see this site as an outlet for altruism. People are here to fill a mutual need for human contact both physical and emotional that is not offered on Tinder. It is enriching my life and I sincerely hope that I am in turn enriching the life of others. If I make friends here that carryover into my "real life" then eventually I may have to ask them for help.
oh my gosh, @hoping4snugs THIS is what I would have said if, like the OP, I didn't have trouble trying to communicate and articulate.
The OP may not feel this way, but you are right about this not being an outlet for altruism. I didn't come to cc to help people or to cuddle every person that asks. 99% came here to get cuddles with people they are compatible with, not everyone. This site is for people looking for platonic cuddles, nothing more. btw, I have helped some people and didn't mind at all doing it, but it's not what I joined for.
Also I just read @HugBuddy33. What she said.
Ibuprofen and whiskey
@MarkusPhoenix I would love to answer your post requesting women's input, but I don't want to detract from the men who answered.
@starrynitecuds I wish the short answers from men that have no help here what so ever would stop as they are 1. not helping anything and 2. flooding my thread with crap.
@hoping4snugs
The point of the post wasn't about being gifted or getting things for "free" I don't know where people got that from. I made a statement "I (me) personally will not be paying for services". I don't have an issue if those that want to pay for cuddling services that fine. If someone is literally flying to come see me and has to endure some sort of costs. Then yes I will make an agreement with them to help offset some of that cost or if I invite them to come here then I will more than likely cover it all.
If I understand Altruism correctly I agree this isn't a site for altruism. However, in my belief, if I understand the term correctly. It should lean more that way and not so much the OF direction where if you give to me I give to you.
MY OPINION ONLY - Why would you pay someone for a virtual visit? What costs are associated with that? We are all here and that means we incur some sort of internet costs. On the flip side, you wouldn't have the internet just to make connections on CC. So, why should, IN MY OPINION, should I off set the cost that is not incurred in addition to services. Like driving, you need to pay for gas to get to wherever. Yes, some has posted if you're more than X-time then it will be and extra ($), which I agree. With the cost of gas yes, it does help a ton to offset the costs.
I'M NOT OPPOSED to those that choose to charge or choose to do whatever they want with their life. It's their life not mine, doesn't affect me. When it does, then I'll have an opinion, but until then I feel everyone should have the ability to do as they please and not be belittled for it. It's your choice you're freedom to do as you please.
@SunshineHug Thanks for the settings tip.
I'm actually glad you're not modest, I don't much care for those that can't be a straight shooter, but (not in any way saying you did this) it's the one and how things are said that changes from being supportive and helpful to be derogatory and aggressive. Certain words have that power or sentence structure.
I can proofread my writings till my eyes hurt and I still won't see how I can make things more clear because I originally wrote it and I have minimal social skills being sheltered on military bases my whole life and never had time for experiences or allowed to go out and do things when I was younger so basically outside of college I had nothing. It's not without trying to go out and understand people. However, that came to be how I found out people love to use those with a big heart and love to tell you what you're feeling is wrong and what you think is wrong. Took a while to finally get that spine intact to say, "you don't like it, tough". Also to start standing up for myself over just letting things happen.
I enjoy a good banter. I enjoy being bratty and joking when it's known in the conversation that is whats going on and all parties agree that it's okay to do so. I'm very much about consent and very much about the safety of me and others. I don't see the point any more of being different when it comes to consent and safety.
@Bear It has got to be just a glitch for me.