@starrynitecuds
The post is directed toward women not men. The men commenting here have been 50/50 on helpful and not. Please your opinion is just as important or if you wish to not deter from the thread feel free to message me.
I started to get very wordy in a post. But i ain't a lady and my opinion wasn't wanted.
But i wanted to offer something from what i have read in all of this
Be extremely honest with yourself about what you want and what you are expecting. Then be extremely honest in what you express. I think if people do that and begin writing or typing and find words you need to change because it may be interpreted a certain way, it's because you're not being 100% honest. I believe in reading a lot of that in the OP and in may of the responses.
Here's an example: i like to be around pretty people, because it's nice to look at them. I like to be around smart people, because they help me be smarter. I like to be around funny people, because they make me laugh. I like when people smile with their teeth, it makes me smile. I don't cuddle men, because i don't think I'd like it. I don't like to pay for things, because i like to keep my money. I don't feel i have to justify any of that. If I'm wrong about any of that I'm ok with that.
From my understanding The point of the post is that woman pic attractive men versus men who are not ideal when it comes to looks. In regards to helping.
From my perspective and interactions in general, I believe both men and women tend to gravitate towards attractiveness in general. Our society has been geared that way. There, have been lots of issues with teens growing up, trying to perfect the perfect body in order to be found, attractive, and doing self harm with diet and other means. There are different issues as well as outcomes in regards to how men & women react to obtain the " perfect " body that society idolizes.
Some manufacturers have tried to advertise in reverse of this trend, Dove comes to mind. Considering that I don't read many magazines or watch commercial television anymore, I'm not too familiar with advertising in general lately.
@pmvines
When I was younger and 120pounds lighter. I noticed the same thing that it was easier to be noticed and have positive interactions with everyone. On the flip side, I was bullied a lot more by men and even attacked during work and things because they thought I was an easy target. I hit 30 (10 years ago) and started slapping on weight thanks to medication I have to take. My exwife of 10 years made it extremely clear to me when she said "I'm only attracted to tall, skinny, dark hair, dark eyed men" then she decided to follow that up with "people meet you for 30 seconds and already hate you". Those, oh and she's a psychologist, were the basis for the question. Not really "how do you choose", but more like just trying to understand why or why do you....
It does seem that attraction is the main mindset that I have noticed and it's not attraction based on personality or what the person has to offer, outside of monetary and material things more like, how do you say something like emotionally.
@BashfulLoner
I appreciate your comment, however, I'd like to clear up something and make sure everyone understands FULLY.... LOOKS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY DESIRES of who I talk to and who I don't talk to. I am 100% honest in my post and 100% honest with intentions that I have and I make it very clear on my profile, in my comments and when I'm speaking with someone. To think otherwise speaks volumes to you and those that think the same. I'm not in the mindset or category of "oh she's pretty I want to chase that tail". Absolutely not, I look for content, I look for character, I look for the things I want to be surrounded by.
That was a very insulting comment you posted not only to me, but to anyone else that identifies my way of looks mean nothing and to interpret otherwise is shameful.
@Bear
Sadly you're 100% right about advertising and manufacturing. However, I think as a whole in general society has the most influence. Things have changed greatly even in the past 40 years, but that doesn't mean we all have to follow suit.
@MarkusPhoenix
I've been following this from the beginning and I appreciate your willingness to try and figure things out about the cuddle community so they make sense to you.
HOWEVER....
Two things keep popping up, that might be a misunderstanding about posting here on the forums.
FIRST It is against the site rules to create a post based soley on asking one kind of gender to respond. Sometimes the mods let it linger when it isn't inflammatory, derailing, rude or baiting. It is an unreasonable thing to demand that only one gender speak to a post you've created. I have noticed before when an OP doesn't like a comment or attitude from someone else, that it is best to RESTATE a question, gently ask everyone to get back on topic, and to BE KIND.
SECOND One piece of caution I would like to give is that a lot of cuddlers read a users comments in the forums in order to get to know someone. In the words of a beautiful friend "You write your karma when you post in the forums." If you don't have any other cuddlers vetting and vouching for you, they only have your profile and your interactions here to get a feeling of your personality.
The below is something that you commented previously.
I agree this isn't a site for altruism... it should lean more that way and not so much the OF direction where if you give to me I give to you.
If you are going to relate Cuddle Professionals to OF.... ONLY FANS??? it might be a short lived account you have here at CC. You are making very broad statements about a large group of people and that might wind up creating an image that you don't want to align with. You stated yourself that you signed up as a PRO because you wanted to help people and thought that was a good avenue.
I understand that this thread might not be what you intended as the OP and maybe you are a bit frustrated, but learning to have clarity in your words, or not responding without inflaming everyone, might be the first aspect to practice.
I would urge you to take a breath and maybe even send your response to a friend before you post instead of writing things that might make it difficult to find real connections. There's a TON of good advice here and in ALL THE HUNDREDS OF PAGES OF THE THREADS. It might be good to read a little bit more of everyone's experiences that have been here for more than a month in order to get an idea of what makes it possible to find potential snuggles.
Wishing you all the best in your experiences here. 🌈🦋🌼
Um. What exactly is your question here in the OP? I see some strong opinions, but no actual question.
Also - listen to everything @sillysassy said. It’s 💯 percent on point. This thread is repulsive so unless that’s the outcome you want, ya may want to listen to all the advice.
I've heard from dozens of guys about the tendency for some women to ignore regular guys and favor more conventionally attractive men and how painful it can be. That sounds really tough to deal with and disheartening.
There's a sucky reality that in heteronormative spaces where one gender greatly outnumbers the other, the gender with fewer people can get quite choosy. On sites like this where men seemingly outnumber women, women get completely inundated by requests and may go for people they find more attractive. Pretty/handsome privilege is an unfortunate thing that exists. In spaces where there are more men than women, like some college campuses, men get to call the shots by picking the most attractive women who are willing to engage in casual encounters.
This isn't the case for every person. Some people prefer to look at who is inside rather than the packaging. It unfortunately can take work, patience, and thick skin to find those people.
Things like safety and vibe can also come into play. Between body work and cuddle therapy, I've been groped, kissed, and objectified. People have sent me lewd messages about what they want to do to my body. I've had times where I've feared worse when much bigger men can't seem to control themselves. I think almost all women experience this to some degree or another. I believe the majority of men are sweet, non-pushy, and kind, but the few who push boundaries can make us really afraid and less likely to message people back.
I also get wanting to make a connection with an enthusiast rather than a pro. I feel like you can build an authentic, beautiful connection when there's no money involved. There's unfortunately so much competition for free cuddles.
I want to add my experience as a pro not to persuade you to go to one, but simply to explain why we exist and charge for it as some may see it as selfish. When I cuddle with clients, I'm bringing 100% of myself which takes up a lot of mental bandwidth. I mirror touch and even breathing to deeply connect. I'm not there to take anything but to provide my complete attention, understanding, and empathy. I'm bringing my very best self. I'm not there to complain or trauma-dump or take. I also have spent thousands of dollars on trainings that make me better able to do that. I see it as actual work. I love doing it, but it is something that would completely deplete me if I were to do it for free.
I hope that helps explain a little. A lot of it sucks, and I feel your pain!
I'm curious whether the OP has been messaging enthusiasts he finds unattractive.
Good point!! @WriterGF
OP got y’all worked up lol
@WarmFuzzler
I just wanted to say that was such a kind, heartfelt, genuine, and well articulated response. I applaud and commend you so much for writing it.
You sound like an incredible pro cuddler who cares deeply for your clients and has true empathy for them. Your clients are very fortunate to have you, and it’s horrible that you (and all women who have experienced it) have had to deal with disgusting behavior from any client when you’re offering such a wonderful service for those who are in need of it.
@Morpheus I have no issues with the OP. Just enjoying another entertaining and practically useless conversation about an unresolvable "issue" Someone already sumd it out perfectly earlier. I don't remember who it was but here is the quote
All the dude is trying to say is that his experiance is that men who are better looking are more likely to receive help/responses from women regardless of the type of help requested (I'm sure it's the same the other way around) To that I can also add that sky is blue, grass is green and 2 plus 2 is 4.
All the dude is trying to say is that his experiance is that men who are better looking are more likely to receive help/responses from women regardless of the type of help requested (I'm sure it's the same the other way around)
To that I can also add that sky is blue, grass is green and 2 plus 2 is 4.
I appreciate that you understand what the question was based on and I understand what @sillysassy was stating as far as word choice. As you can tell @WarmFuzzler at the three comments after yours this is the type of men that everyone deals with. They think for themselves and try to agitate whoever they can to reduce competition for themselves, but really they are proving the point beyond reasonable doubt they are not safe in general, but as @sillysassy pointed out a lot of people read the forums and develop a opinion based on what is written. So they see these "guys" not as agitators, but as "victims" when in actuality they are in fact the perp in these situations.
Just another reason why it's nearly impossible for a true genuine matured person (man in this case) to find a genuine connection. Most women have these ill interactions with men and automatically have a defensive wall up. Makes things harder for the women to trust and I don't blame them. I try to be perfectly clear on everything that I post, type and question before going into any detail.
@sillysassy
I appreciate all the information and support and yes, I did cross a boundary by comparing this site to another. I want to bring up though that if this is suppose to be a safe open community, how can I protect myself from the 3 men under your comment that are here for fights only. They are not being supportive they are not being pleasant they are literally here to start a fight and nothing more. That leaves no room for assumptions they are not safe people to be around or talking or even responding to any forum questions if they is how they behave in general .
@Sooson that was @jplemmon that said that…he’s been doing his homework on this topic for quite some time. He’s a well respected scholar you know
@lonelytauros lol.i thought we said hi to him yesterday didn't we? I forgot what thread it was
I think what the OP understandably doesn't realize is that this topic is not new. There's an "I can't connect with an enthusiast" topic here every other day, and they usually end up the same way. The OP gets a pro (which I do NOT expect this OP to do), they get frustrated and quit the site, or they manage to get themselves banned.
The great advantage to being an enthusiast is you can be picky. You can say no because you don't like the tone of a message, or someone's pics, or their screen name, or the color of their socks. You'll never know why you're getting turned down, you just are (it's a lot like job hunting). You might spot someone you have a dozen things in common with ... that doesn't mean you're what they are looking for.
And it can become a vicious cycle -- waiting for an enthusiast means you're not collecting any karma which may make an enthusiast less willing to take a chance on you.
Unfortunately, this site tends to present itself as "just show up and you'll get cuddled" ... and you will, if you have money to spend. If you are looking for "I choose you and you choose me," you may be opting for a long, hard road.
@bear You have such a tranquil regal profile pic, it should be for all. But, yes, you are welcome.
@Sooson Don't take ibuprofen with advil. Two different NSAIDs will mess up your stomach. A cool kid told me. lol.
@WriterGF
Let me make this simple for you since you can't seem to get the point. I NEVER SAID anything to the sorts that you have posted. You have comes in here with your friends to be typical you. So really if you have that much of an issue with someones post either 1. don't say anything or 2. get off the site, because you're nothing new to me or anyone here. We all know your type, k, thanks, bye
Damn just ran out of popcorn. I got some beer tho.
Lol @Bear. noted.
@MarkusPhoenix Iget your point but you're burning too much energy here. Relax. 80% of the volume of this thread is you. Also , you joined the site two minutes ago and already asking people to leave ? Not to mention that based on the logic you provided for leaving about 99% of us should not be here..including yourself probably.
Just a thought, maybe the OP should use overly filtered or AI generated pics to make himself appear more physically attractive. Apparently it works for other people 🤷🏻♂️
@Sooson
Actually it's more just time and entertainment with you 3 that are so dead set on acting childish. You're proving my point 100% of how someone that is disabled is a target for predators like you and your friends on this thread that haven't made a decent contribution after your first comment. Which stems to who you really are. You put on this nice "mask" and then you don't get what you want and your true colors show up. simple logic really.
@Morpheus
Wow, how long did it take you to come up with that one? Seriously if you're that insecure about yourself you have to attack my looks and yes I have a name, but it seems that common decency is not in your vocabulary.
@Morpheus I actually just noticed one in my area who figured out age regression. She's a year younger than she was just few months ago. I think im gonna reach out for advice.
@MarkusPhoenix @Morpheus actually came to your defense earlier. See page 2. I also tried to explain your point so others may respond to it directly and at least one person actually did. "You 3" ? - @WriterGF and I have each other blocked lol No one is making fun of you dude. Seriously. Where was I making fun of you
Markus, my understanding (and I may be wrong) is that you were raising the point that many women make their choices based on looks. The implication of that is that you have not gotten anywhere on the enthusiast end of things -- if you were wildly successful, I doubt you would feel the need to bring up such a point.
Only mods decide who does and does not stay on this site. Not me, not you. I can tell you that people who get as angry as you seem to be getting usually wind up getting banned.
You are obviously an intelligent person. I am sure you realize that when you post something in a public forum, some people will question you and some will disagree. And that can be really aggravating. But you don't get to curate your topics so you hear from only the people you want to hear from. Not being female, I can't speak to what effect your posts might have on the women of CC, positive or negative.