is cuddling intimacy?

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @angela10 You should always go with your gut feeling about a situation.

    I have discovered that even if people seem okay in the messages here if you text them they often reveal more about what their true intentions are.

    One helpful thing is to ask what people's cuddling preferences are. If they are evasive or want to discuss things by text only that is sometimes an indication that they have other intentions.

    I think it is really important to talk to someone you want to cuddle with a long time before the session takes place to learn more about them, their cuddling preferences, their boundaries, and other details.

    You might also meet to talk with them over coffee or something first. This will give you a good feel for the person and let you know whether you are comfortable cuddling with them or not.

  • @MoonlightSonata May I interest you in some Napalm Death and light massage?

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @pmvines Rocking out with some massage sounds like a good time. XD You can't rock out too hard though or it might defeat the purpose of the massage. :')

  • @Lovelight and @MoonlightSonata thanks for your thoughts put into this. Due to my occupational hazard, I am pretty cautious and not a big risk taker. I don't let anyone bully me into doing things that makes me feel uncomfortable. Once the guys who can't deal with rejections and started talking to me in derogatory manners, I blocked them right away. And believe me, I have blocked quite in the past lol. Life is too short to spend energy on negativity.

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @pmvines Just a thought I had. But still sounds like a good time. :)

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @angela10 This is a great site and there are a lot of awesome people here. However, it's still a site where you find people online to connect with so the same caution you would consider on any other online site should also be applied here.

    In my experience (both here and on other places on the web) people usually reveal a lot about themselves the more they talk. That's why having a conversation with anyone who wants to cuddle is good. It helps to get to know them and what they are looking for in a cuddle session. Or even just getting to know them as a friend. I've met some great people on this site so far who are really fun to talk to. :)

  • Are we talking or cuddling? So much fun!

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
    > Intimacy is part of cuddling.
    > people dont realize that cuddling is intimate.
    

    OP, to your question, "is cuddling intimacy?", Yes. It is physical intimacy; a closeness.
    But, your are talking to a large group, with very diverse ideas of what "cuddling" is and isn't.

    > It is not something people do with strangers.
    

    If cuddling, a physical closeness and touch, ... if that's what your body, mind and/or soul are screaming-out for, you will find people that trust their own judgement and have accepted (blindly or not), the risk involved... Well, sure! You could, and some would, cuddle with nearly complete strangers. Some, get so much value out of cuddling from their ability to thrive in life, they are willing to spend their own money, to spend time cuddling, with someone who is willing to provide that value.

    > Cuddling is what people do after sex and when they are in love.
    

    Yup! It's hands-down, the best. Some do it before sex, too. I know.

    > Cuddling is not plutonic unless it is betwen a mother and her offspring.
    

    Platonic is a form of love that rises above the physical. You're assuming that cuddling must always be platonic, done in the context of a love relationship. You can't expect all others to agree with you.

    > Cuddling is not therapuetic and if it is where are the studies that prove it.
    

    There's Lots of things that haven't been studied and I can tell you at least Some of them are mighty theraputic, some even cathartic.

    > Cuddling as with all other conjured up educational ideas is nothing more than a way to make money.
    

    You have two parts here: "conjured up educational ideas" ... clearly someone of authority has had a negative impact. I've been there. Sucks. If I'm wrong, sorry. My bad.
    1) Cuddling isn't an idea. It's a physically itimate act[ion].
    2) To the second part, there's nothing evil about the act of making money. Yes, I believe some people on both ends of the transaction may have had a conclusion beyond the cuddling. Do you think we should try to regulate this?

    > People that charge for it are nothing more than people making money to just lay down and do nothing.
    

    Yes. They are people too. You are so right! Also, if they we're, "just laying there", I'd look for a different cuddler.

    > This site hooks up strangers to cuddle and they have no inkling of who the other person is, their personality, or other things.
    

    Yes. The "do nothing" you mentioned, does involve things like taking risks, being compashionate, having good personal hygiene, being professional. And people value all that including the risks.

    > People always say that ooh its natural to have an erection when cuddling but dont worry about it. well an erection constitutes more than platonic encounters.
    

    Like the word means, try to Rise above it. And don't do anything you aren't personally comfortable with. But don't be surprised that others have a different comfort level.

    Hope this doesn't trigger too much angst.

  • Hell Yes :)

  • I haven’t gotten much out of this site, nor have I put much into it. But I will say that I am all for the moderation and banning of trolls. They can ruin a site for everyone. The site owner has made a provision for making suggestions or even complaints. And it is okay to air some things in public forum to fact-check or realty-check with others, or even gain their support in lobbying management to change something. But when a troll makes posts that are contrary to the reason others use the site she or he has to go, pronto, along with their posts. Freedom of Speech applies in the commons, but is not applicable in a private business or website. Too much tolerance of trolls can lead to scaring away new or casual users.

  • edited May 2018

    I do agree with the original poster on one thing, there are many pros that see this simply as a way to make money. I disagree with everything else he said. He is way off.

  • edited May 2018

    @mickcuddle I agree in general with not "feeding the trolls", but the original poster's account had been deleted, so it seemed like an opportunity to answer some objections ... there's always the risk of them coming back though (which he did, and that account was deleted too, though for a different reason).

    False claims about cuddling can be a good opportunity to think about what the truth is and how to explain it to people.

  • the magic of this site is for people to learn about themselves, explore why this is important to them, what physical touch means to them, what giving touch to others feels like, how to communicate their needs, explain / define boundaries, manage conversations, be in an environment that is non-judgemental, and accepting. the intimacy is there are just yourself and your cuddler sharing that connection, there is no other history, baggage, or expectation other than being in the moment, and comfortable

  • I agree with @happybear. I have actually made some incredible self-discovery and self-introspection from joining CC and participating in the forum.

  • @angela10 I'd love to hear more about your discoveries.

  • Pros on here, could refuse someone to cuddle with yet need to be open to cuddling with anyone?

  • @respectful I was in an abusive long term relationship. It was very painful to work up the nerve to walk away. My emotions were all over the place. Participating and learning from other members' experiences helped me to understand myself in terms emotions, fear and awareness. As I reflect back to my relationship, lack of consistent and clear communications played a major part.

  • @poolman - No one can be forced to cuddle anyone they don't want to. As far as "need to be open to cuddling anyone," that's a legal distinction that is related to race, religion, gender, orientation or any other distinction that would be illegal to discriminate against. But a pro or anyone else can decide who they wish to cuddle or not for any other reason, and no one is required to state the reason, either.

  • [Deleted User]caitleesi (deleted user)

    This is far from the point, but I think any pro would attest that this is not “an easy way to make money”, nor we we expect to “get paid to just lay there”. There is so much work that goes into a session- cleaning, getting yourself ready, ambiance, being emotionally available and really listening as well as carrying on interesting and pleasant conversation for sometimes hours. Sessions can be emotionally draining, so it’s more than a little insulting to lump all pros together as trying to get something for nothing.
    The people who are in it just because they think it’s easy money don’t usually last long because it’s quite the opposite.

  • @caitleesi I often find the ones who complain the most about paid cuddling are the ones who cannot find a non paid cuddler and are mad about it. Makes them a little bitter I suppose. While I do feel empathy for them, it is certainly not right for them to take it out on paid cuddlers and complain about the services you all offer. There are going to of course be those who aren't worth paying for their time, however most of us on here do recognize and appreciate you all for what you do and what you bring.

  • [Deleted User]daclairebear (deleted user)

    I don't think cuddling would be this prominent of a thing if it weren't intimate, but I think the beauty of it is in the simplicity of it--just getting to lie with someone and feel total relaxation with them. I don't think that lessens the value of professional cuddling either--as professionals, we take a lot of pride in what we do and put a lot of work into maintaining our good relations with our clients, because cuddling is just about getting close to someone and feeling that safety and security. It's when people assume professionals are open to more that it becomes an issue, because at that point it's no longer about the effects of cuddling, but about what could come from it and what a certain amount of money can buy from a person--at that point intimacy is lost.

  • I’m glad Sean was banned I was offended by what he said.

  • [Deleted User]Klynn_Nate67 (deleted user)

    To pick up on what others have said, I really think intimacy, like so many other states of the mind and heart, is a spectrum. Cuddling is definitely on that spectrum. For me, having both the physical aspect of cuddling, and an emotional connection is important to making cuddling session special. And I love that kind of intimacy. Of course it is not the same depth of intimacy as one would have with a spouse or partner.

  • I'm a customer because cuddling is intimate. To be honest, I view it as a sort of shortcut - paying someone and cuddling with them is worth it because that level of intimacy with someone out in the world takes a lot of time and feelings and trust, etc. It's nice to have the option to bypass all of that, experience the intimacy, and then say goodbye. I'm thankful for this option. It doesn't have to replace intimacy acquired through more traditional methods (as previously stated)...but it can. And that's nice.
    __

  • @DT80 - I agree 100% - My best cuddling experiences have been with ladies I consider to be warm and friendly - if that defines intimacy - Unfortunately, there are some pros who really do seem to just want to "get paid to lay there" and look at cuddling as "an easy way to make money". Of course I bet they don't get much repeat business.

  • [Deleted User]Klynn_Nate67 (deleted user)

    Totally agree. And when the woman I’m cuddling with is able to be present authentically then it can be kind of beautiful, safe, and platonic intimacy.

  • @DT80 I agree with your view. It's true that it takes a lot of time and effort to build a friendship/connection and trust in order to cuddle. I am glad you brought that up from a man's point of view. In the past, I have suggested to some of the guys who sent me messages to hire a pro due to their initial messages to cuddle right away. For whatever reason, some think they are entitled to cuddle you just simply because you are on this site. If the men want to get a quick fix that badly, go hire a pro instead.

  • So juvenile of people to always equate intimacy and sex or intimacy and romance. Don't most of us have those couple of super tight friends that we can tell the darkest things to? That we hug a little longer and closer than the others? Is that not intimacy? Intimacy is about depth of bond, not method of expression.

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