Taking the conversation “off the site.”

mickcuddlemickcuddle
edited May 2018 in General

A giant red flag for users of any site that allows members to communicate privately on site, is when one with whom you have just begun to communicate pushes to move the conversation to text messaging, regular email or place like kik or Instagram. There is no good reason, and plenty of bad reasons to do this early on in your contact. I’ve had those requests on almost any site I frequented, and be heard all the excuses. If he or she really wants to know you better, they can i it in this safer place.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    And after you've spoken online for a few months...?

  • [Deleted User]caitleesi (deleted user)

    @chococuddles you can only speak to them off the site once a concrete appointment has been booked. @mickcuddle is totally right. Besides, if you’ve been speaking a few months on the site and the person still hasn’t booked any kind of meet up or appointment then they’re at the very least wasting your time.

    Since I’ve started with the site, I’ve learned that this is a HUGE red flag, and the people who want to communicate off the site are usually the ones who’ll push boundaries.

    I also think it’s sort of funny at this point that some guys are like “no we can text, other people have done it”- no matter how many times you refer them to the CSA ?

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @mickcuddle didn't mention anything about booking a pro.

    Some people use this site as more than a client/pro database. I know I do.

    I came here to find like-minded people then realized there were pros.

    For the record plenty of girls suggest the "let's chat offline" as well.

    Lotsa laughs all around. <3

  • happybearhappybear

    I like to get a phone number to either text or have a quick conversation prior to any appt, it vets the process, hearing someone's voice and a quick talk tells a lot on both ends. I request the address the day before we meet or at least several hours before so I could understand traffic considerations and time constraints. I think if people aren't comfortable with giving out a phone number, its a red flag for me.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    @caitleesi I can see your point re not talking off-site til an appt is booked and also about time wasters . In a business sense it is def relatable. However there are people who are also looking for friends and like minded peers. I for example will reach out to some one who seems like good people and like some one I would like to get to know . Doesn't always work that way , but the effort is still made . And this goes for paid and non paid cuddlers. Because I don't utilize paid services nor do I expect to necessarily meet everyone I speak with, I suppose I don't necessarily think about it in terms of when is it appropriate to speak offline. I appreciate your point of view and insight from that perspective.

  • amsmithamsmith

    See I want to be friends with the people I talk to before I meet. And I like this website and community, but I don’t like messaging on here. If there is ever an app for this, I would never move off the site in regards to communication, but until then, once I feel comfortable, I’m going to offer to go to Kik. If the person is in my area, then I’ll give my number.

  • [Deleted User]caitleesi (deleted user)
    edited May 2018

    @pmvines you’re totally right, I was only looking at it from the perspective of a Pro. I absolutely see the merit of where you’re coming from, I just still think that with such a high functioning messaging feature on the site that someone looking to talk in private right away rightly sends up some red flags. But that’s also biased, based on personal experiences that I’ve had.
    Just want everyone on here to stay safe always :)

  • samir_Cudsamir_Cud

    Hello All.
    Since this is a platonic service, all conversations should remain only on the CC platform. This provides security for all parties.

    I am sure pros try to make as much money as possible but if we keep everything on site it will keep them from price gouging.

    Love CC

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Feels so good to be invisible.

    Genie...for my second wish...

    ^5 to @amhunt :3

  • [Deleted User]curiousgeorge1 (deleted user)

    Choco I agree I have had pros want go to text right away. That was a red flag to me. As it has been stated before, mark has not done background checks on the pros, so I am not going to give out my phone number quickly to anyone pro or not.

  • warmlyhelenawarmlyhelena

    This is why I use a Google Voice # and shift communication there once we've established that we want to meet in person. I appreciate the site but, frankly, find it cumbersome to get an email, about a message, then go to check that message--vs. just getting a text. I confirm bookings on the site, and pay my fees with integrity. If someone needs to be blocked, Google voice makes it easy. It is just more convenient to be able to communicate in real time, especially the day of a session.

    Caveat:
    If someone pressures me to do this right away, I do consider it a red flag.

  • PippyPippy

    I agree with @pmvines. I am also looking for friends. I wouldn't do this right away but once we've talked here a while, I'd be open to it.

  • alexb2alexb2

    I would be suspicious of email or SMS text , since it offers no benefit over the chat on here. But I do not agree with the idea that you should not move to real time chat.

    Since this site does not offer real time communication, I see nothing wrong with moving to real time chat apps like KIK, instagram, snapchat, or facebook.

    In fact facebook video chat is an essential tool for verifying someone, and talking to them face to face before a meet.

  • pmvinespmvines

    A good point to mention too is that if a person you don't know sends an email or kik or asks for yours, or your number, they could be a bot or scammer attempting to flood you with spam or even malware in the link they send you for email and what not. Called phishing, and is pretty common on sites like Craigslist, or at least was when they had their personals and adult services sections.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    Right. I didn’t mean that I’d never go off-site to communicate with someone I’ve established some form of relationship/friendship. I was prompted to write after I got a message from someone who sent me his cell number in his first message. Here I am listed as a bisexual man who confesses to be closer to gay than straight (not that that should mean much in platonic cuddling) and I’m being asked to text message a man who lists him self a straight and only seeking to cuddle with women.
    I’m not revealing personal contact info to anyone until we have established ourselves with each other.
    And yes, a couple of you pros jumped in as though cash transactions were the only option here. I don’t begrudge you your need or right to make a living, but there are others here who are in it only for platonic, non-transactional reasons. Please don’t begrudge us our existence either.

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @mickcuddle I've found that the texts are something to look out for. At least from what I've encountered.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @MoonlightSonata yup. In the excitement of finally hearing from someone who might be a potential cuddle, you quickly text them. And oops, now some stranger has your cell number. I figure that the system was set up thoughtfully with user safety in mind. Why mess it up?

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @mickcuddle This is very true. It's always important to think of safety. If I do give out my cell phone number however, I always use a burner number through Text Now so my real phone number isn't floating out there in the universe somewhere. :P

  • EndlessCuddlezEndlessCuddlez

    For Pro Cuddlers:

    I have experienced several potential cuddlers refusing to book a session until we chat offline. I know everyone finds this disturbing, as do I, and I refuse to do it, and I know, as a pro, I shouldn’t do it and wouldn’t want to do it, anyway ... but do any of you have tips for preventing this? Why do so many people ask for this, and how do you explain to them that it isn’t appropriate or allowed without upsetting them? I find that many seem to become aggressive when I refuse. What’s the best way to keep them calm but also explain that we can’t do this?

  • outoftheblue1outoftheblue1

    Because they are trying to cheat the system by not reporting the income.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    @endlesscuddlez you can get a free web number and video chat on that. It's your number, free, works better as a video than a voice call and keeps you safe and private.

    @pmvines I agree with BOTH your points here.

    At The moderators....an app would be great.

    See the wonder today!

    Paula

  • EndlessCuddlezEndlessCuddlez

    @outoftheblue1 Hi! I’m the pro cuddler in this situation. I’m not trying to hide income. I want to keep everything online, but the people who message me often want to chat offline and won’t book a session with me until I message them offline. I lose sessions because I don’t want to do this.

    Is there any good reason to message offline? I get the feeling they want me to agree to more than cuddling before they will book and pay.

  • outoftheblue1outoftheblue1

    Anytime you go off line, you have violated the terms of your membership. Therefore, credibility is gone

  • pmvinespmvines

    @outoftheblue1 you dont violate anything by speaking to people offsite i do it all the time. In terms of booking a paid session it is meant to be kept online but there is no big brother forbidding you to speak offline to folks. We arent children after all and this is a free society .

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    I dont think theres anything wrong with asking for the phone number after wouldve book a cuddle session so we can chat or text before meeting up

    -dont hate me for my opinion-

  • XenithXenith

    Sorry, I disagree with a lot of what is here. Yes it could be a time-waster, but it is also very likely a buyer that wants to make sure they are not getting scammed. People do in fact catfish/scam using sites like this, and Kik and other apps do have way to build credibility this site simply can't do. I don't bother building any relationship (friendship, business partnership, client/customer relationship etc) without knowing the person on the other line is honest. Especially not giving them money. The live picture feature and cam features lend legitimacy.

    Are there other ways to achieve a similar aim, absolutely. However it is all going to be hoops to jump in either case. Everyone's "b.s threshold" varies, so decide what works best for you. It's not a red flag. A pink one, sure. I recommend you proceed, just do so with caution.

    A way I know others do so is by setting up a "box" on say bentbox dot co. Make its cost only $1, and in that box have a verification photo of yourself, holding up a piece of paper that has your Cuddle Comfort account name on it, and the date. This way you know they are willing to enter their credit card information somewhere and are likely a serious buyer, and they know you are "real". This systematizes those annoying potentially time-wasting conversations.

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    @outoftheblue1 dude thats crazy lol

    -dont hate on me for my opinion-

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    Another reason for communicating by cell or text after booking is so you guys can coordinate on the day of the cuddle, I was stood up that way bc the pros internet got cut off their cell phone and they had no other way of communicating with me because we never exchanged numbers

  • anastasijaanastasija

    @EndlessCuddlez Even though you feel like you’re losing business this way, you don’t want that kind of business anyway.
    In my experience, clients who give you their number to text off the site straight away *almost always ask for more than cuddling.
    Maybe 10% of the time they don’t know any better and are actually interested in cuddling. If they are, I simply say “Hey I prefer to keep communication on here until the session is booked. :) We can use text for last minute changes closer to the session”
    This reply usually works on that 10% and they won’t push it further. If they do, you know they’re asking for more and don’t waste your time.
    Also use Google Voice for your phone number. When I started, I made the mistake of using my real phone number and some clients would add me on Snapchat and Facebook (HUGE invasion of privacy) unprovoked.
    It’s about protecting yourself. If you lose some clients along the way, they probably would’ve been a headache anyway.

  • KempistKempist

    How does the site get it's money if bookings are offsite? Doesn't the site get a percentage of the fee?

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