How can I get people to stop contacting me on here?

[Deleted User]KariEllen (deleted user)
in General

Serious question.

If I don't want to respond, I don't respond. All too often, the messenger persists in trying to establish contact. I've deleted numerous contact requests from people I don't want to connect with. Is there a way of getting people to stop contacting me if I don't want them to?

Thank you in advance.

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Comments

  • canadianguycanadianguy

    Delete ypur account. You have to expect and accept that people will reach out to you. If you're not interested a simple should suffice. If a person continues to persist block amd report. But to expect not to be contacted and to expect that cuddlers are not waiting for a response is rather naive. Just my two cents

  • Cuddler97230Cuddler97230

    Simple: Tell them no thanks and block

  • [Deleted User]lilredmage (deleted user)

    Go to the person's profile and click on the three dots on the right side of the screen and select "Block." Problem solved.

  • RCasey690RCasey690

    I wish I had that problem...

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    “Delete your account” omg hilarious lol but yes blocking them would be the best thing to do.

  • [Deleted User]OzVisitor (deleted user)

    I would suggest a polite reply to say you are not interested would be useful, though if I write to someone and they don’t reply I usually don’t bother again - I am not sure how many times the people are writing to you, and how frequently, but if they are being crazy excessive you can block them and even report them if merited.

    I think the site would be much more harmonious if people were better communicators - people shouldn’t write excessively but at the same time, people shouldn’t just “not reply” in my opinion, if they have been approached politely and respectfully.

  • [Deleted User]patTheCuddler (deleted user)

    I removed my pictures partially due to this reason. :-(

  • mellowmellow

    What I’ve seen first hand is that sometimes a “no thank you” answer can get nasty replies and demands for more explanation and further insistence. That’s the reason why many women do not reply and I understand why after seeing threads on the forum of women showing how they were being harassed after trying to be polite and replying they weren’t interested.

  • Psychonaut83Psychonaut83

    Instead of rudely ignoring those who take the time to reach out to you, how about sending a simple "Not interested", or some variation thereof?

  • [Deleted User]JLGO (deleted user)

    You've got alot of advice from men here, let me lend my lady perspective and go along with the "block them" camp. You are not required to reply to anyone just because they want you to so simply block those who maybe aren't taking your lack of reply as a "no thank you". Happy hugs to you!

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    @Psychonaut83 Because nobody owes you an explanation. As @mellow points out, a simple no thanks often times is met with continued demands for an explanation of why not, and sometimes the ego does not want to let it go and it turns to actual harassment. I too have heard of this and have seen it based on conversations I have had, and even I myself have had a couple of people border on stalking me who I made very clear to that I did nor feel any interest in exchanging messages with not pursuing as a friend. So though you may feel you are owed a response simply for messaging someone, truth is you aren't, and sometimes the truth doesn't always agree with what we would prefer.

  • pmvinespmvines

    On the topic of contact, I had reached out to a new user the other night. She replied and confided in me that she had only signed up that evening and had gotten flooded with close to 200 messages and wasn't sure whether they were all even actual members or if she was being spammed just due to the sheer volume of messages she had received. She said many of them were friendly and harmless, however some were vulgar and crude, or just something like hey, or when are you free, or you're hot can you send me more pics... She said she responded to a select number of messages but ignored many of them, or simply was unable to respond to them due how many, and that some of the people who she ignored or simply had no chance to respond to began sending her more messages that were more harassing in tone and content. Insecure men plus feelings of rejection equals bruised egos equals lashing out. So this is a prime example of why I can very much see the reason why the original poster is asking this question, and to me it is valid and legitimate.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @pmvines 200 messages?? Wow. Maybe she needs to employ a secretary to sort through them. :-P

    "many of them were friendly and harmless, however some were vulgar and crude" - I sometimes wonder what proportion of people who sign up to Cuddle Comfort understand the intention and value of platonic cuddling. Not sure how to educate them if they don't read the guidelines or forums in the first place ...

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle
    edited May 2018

    Yeah, well. This is supposed to be a kinder, gentler place right? If you don’t want people co contact you, I agree with whomever it was who said to delete your account. My, God, who do you think you are? There were three good suggestions. 1) Say no thank you and if they persist, block; 2) Say no thank you and block before they have a chance to approach you again; 3) Delete your account. I wonder if griping about all the undesirables who message you is your way of expressing your need for ego strokes.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited May 2018

    While it is polite to say something such as: No. Thank you. Etc. Like many said, not everyone takes a direct response respectfully. I personally love and respect when someone gives me a direct response, or none at all depending on the case (in which case I'd give up soon enough, and I never demand a reply or get hostile anyways). Though I get ghosting is a thing of it's own and can get worrisome because you are also wondering this person you've been contacting with if something happened to them. Though that's that and a case of it's own anyways.

    For those who think not replying is rude, well messaging someone with the mindset* that you are due a response is highly rude and wrong. Think of it this way, if I was sitting somewhere and I see someone I'd like to talk with, I might smile, or say hi. If they don't reply, I might think maybe they don't hear me (I speak quiet especially* to strangers) so I might try another hi (maybe accompanied with a wave, though if nothing gets their attention, I don't start a tantrum and start fussing like they owe me anything. After all, they were just sitting there and I made the choice to talk with them. So I just move on, and hope to find people who connect with me and appreciate my gestures. For whatever reasons they don't reciprocate doesn't matter much, I respect their decision even though I would've liked to converse with them.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    So if someone sends a message to someone who has blocked them, do they get informed they are blocked? Just curious.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    @mickcuddle I don't believe the poster is saying she doesn't want to be contacted by anybody. She is asking how to stop certain people who have persisted to keep sending her messages that she does not wish to keep continuing to receive messages from. I have spoken with the OP and she has had some issues with a handful of creeps and people being pushy who cant seem to accept that she is not interested in them. Where this may not be so much an issue for many of the men on this site, from what i understand, this is a common issue for many of the women on this site. If she feels she is either being harassed, or simply does not wish to continue receiving messages from certain people, she has that right, I wouldn't go so far as to say she needs to delete her account. Nobody is owed anything on here, and to assume you are is rather entitled.

  • [Deleted User]lilredmage (deleted user)

    @UKGuy Yup. When you go to message the person, it'll show at the bottom that the person has blocked you. Don't ask how I know that. I'm innocent, I promise! :D

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    People can block you on here? lol

  • Psychonaut83Psychonaut83

    @pmvines I believe in common courtesy. If you don't, that's your pregrogative. In my opinion, this is the best way to handle this issue:

    1.) Respond with a "Not interested". No additional explanation needed.
    2.) Block if necessary.

    That's it.

  • Psychonaut83Psychonaut83

    I forgot to correct my misspelling.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2018

    @Psychonaut83 of course I believe in common courtesy. What I am saying is that you can't demand a response if someone doesn't want to respond, particularly if feeling harassed such as the case of the poster, it Is their right to do so . However it Is not your right to be owed a response . You cannot expect to have that sort of control on a person.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    All, ya'll. You sent a message of some sort. Don't assume that even a minority of people are here to mess-around. Stop sending photos of your body parts. Its just something for the recipient to laugh-at or shuttle to the dust-bin. All of you who are currently waiting for a reply, This is not an "on demand" service like your cable or Tivo. If you see the cuddler has been online since you sent the message, you can stop waiting. They may have responded. Great. If not, they've read your message and for their own reasons, decided they were not going to pursue your message/invite. Move on.

  • [Deleted User]EastsideCuddles (deleted user)

    Block on second message if it's an unwanted one :) Short and sweet.

  • [Deleted User]curiousgeorge1 (deleted user)

    @galowglass if I get a solicitation from a pro, I block them as well. But it is simple to do.

  • [Deleted User]Dave1 (deleted user)

    No one likes a show off !

  • MarvinNYCMarvinNYC

    @ KariEllen - just say no. This is a cuddle site and I would assume that if someone takes the tike to join and set up a profile, then they are, in fact, interested in cuddling. Of course who you cuddle with is a matter of personal preference - but really, I mean what did u expect?

    @Psychonaut83 - I agree 100%.

  • ShyGuy101ShyGuy101
    edited June 2018

    I don’t really have an opinion on whether every message deserves an im/polite decline or if simply ignoring suffices. However it is probably something for @Mark, et. al. to think about whether users should be given an “I’ll contact you if I’m interested” option. Maybe not the best option on a social platform such as this. So perhaps the simplest solution to introduce an “other” inbox like FB has - where a user can choose to have certain types of messages routed to that folder without getting notifications. And an option to mark certain users’ messages to go to the main inbox with or without email notifications.

  • PinkLipstick22PinkLipstick22

    When I first signed up here I did it as an enthusiast by mistake (I had already been a pro for years, but that's another topic), so I was on here for 2 days before I fixed it. I was new to the site and checking it out still anyway, so wasn't really ready for a bunch of messages before I'd set up my professional profile.

    I got more messages than I could even count, and when I would go to reply to one, I'd come back with about 12 more. It was completely overwhelming and really not possible to respond to every one. Many were pretty crude, too, so they didn't deserve a response.

    After that experience, my stance is that you are not owed a response, especially when messaging every enthusiast woman/female as soon as they sign up. It's just not possible, and it's a whole ton of emotional labor to even try. OP, you are completely justified to delete messages without response and use this site as you intended.

    Many happy cuddles, Everyone!

  • pmvinespmvines

    @PinkLipstick22 What you describe is what I have heard from many other women on here, and the OP actually is talking about not wanting to respond to people in general, only certain ones who she feels are harassing her and taking things out on her from feeling rejected. It is overwhelming I am sure. I think many of the men on here don't realize all the negative attention that some of the women on here can get, and live in a bubble where they feel entitled to something.

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