Ghosted by Provider after sending deposit

srchechosrchecho
in General

A provider ghosted me after I sent her a voluntary deposit. We had a cuddle session, and I volunteered to send her a deposit to show them I was serious about meeting them. She canceled the day of the cuddle session. The cuddler did have a lot going on and communicated with me up to and including the cuddle date. After she canceled, she reached out to me one additional time. I have tried texting her and messaging her on CC for about one month now and have gotten no response from her. I usually would quit by now, but I paid her some money. I don't want to report her because I believe her when she says she has a lot going on. Should I keep trying to contact her? I don't want to come across as a stalker, either.

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Comments

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle
    edited September 2024

    At this point you should demand your money back. If she still continues to ghost you, I would report her to the site. And if she doesn't give you her money back, I would file a police report.

    The bottom line is, if she ghosts you after accepting a deposit from you, she scammed you, which is illegal. She is not obligated to follow through with a future session with you, but she is obligated to reimburse you if she chooses not to.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    If it’s been a month, time to let it go and move on. You are being empathetic, and that is very kind.
    Need to consider it a learning experience, though.
    I’m curious about her karma and it sounds like you did screening and getting to know her first? It’s difficult to lose a deposit, no matter what - that would make me unhappy too!
    Sometimes there’s a lot more to the story, including her side of it - who knows?

    We just never know or can predict other people’s behavior. Strangers on the internet…Manage expectations, proceed with caution.

  • srchechosrchecho

    @g_w_t_w, she seemed to be a well-established professional. She has plenty of karma, and the people who have cuddled with her have left great reviews. We also did a virtual session—I forgot to mention that. However, she couldn't make the in-person session due to family obligations, and I haven't heard from her since the one additional time she reached out to me, about one month ago.

  • SaturnRingSaturnRing

    Which provider?

    Share the name.

    We need to know who's sketchy enough to take the money and run.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited September 2024

    @MountainCuddles “demand”?
    Well, maybe OP has already tried that but what good will that do if she doesn’t want to return it - she won’t.
    People take chances here over money all the time, on every kind of website imaginable, all the time. People buy things online and they never receive them, all the time. It’s the Internet and so be careful. I wouldn’t hand out money that I couldn’t afford to lose.

    I believe it’s I against the rules of the site to share the name of the Pro in the forum. I wouldn’t do that unless you check first, if you do, it will just be flagged and deleted.
    She should return the money obviously. But that’s between OP and her and I guess the site but I don’t think they can force it.
    Things happen that we don’t know about. To all of us.
    I do think you should leave an honest karma about the Pro though. Just my opinion.

  • BrionCBrionC

    At some point the hustler side of the "pros" finally rears its ugly head...lol

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited September 2024

    @BrionC
    I can’t believe you’re finally realizing there are so many flaky people on this website. Most of us already know that.
    Constant threads about this very thing, where have you been? (lol I know you read them).
    (Next up: Someone thinking you are condemning all Pros as having a hustler side to them)
    I was a Pro - kind, caring, honest, considerate - not a hustler.

  • SeekerInVASeekerInVA

    Sorry to hear that. Hope you can get your money back. I never send advanced deposits primarily due to that same exact risk.

  • BearBear

    @srchecho sorry to hear you’ve become a victim of this. Regardless, if they’re well liked or have a lot of karma. It’s been far too long to hold your money. If they do not reply at all, then definitely report them. The least they can do is answer you and tell you, why they are taking so long.

    I had a deposit with somebody that as soon as they knew, they weren’t gonna be able to fulfill their side of it. They returned my money.

  • SolarisSolaris

    That stinks!

    I think you should report her so it doesn't happen to someone else. I also think if it can be verified, she should be banned. What she did is theft.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @srchecho
    Has she been active on the site since her last message to you?

    If not, perhaps she was in an accident or some other situation, and is physically unable to respond.

    You could give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps at some point she'll reach out to you.

    I would only report her if you see that she's active on the site, but continues to ignore you.

  • srchechosrchecho

    @TxTom if you believe CC log in activity yes she is still active. Granted doesn’t mean it’s her logging in, but she does log in.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited September 2024

    I would report and leave a 1 start karma for a couple reasons:
    -It may encourage her to respond and take corrective action.
    -You may not be the first one, and if you don't report, you may not be the last one. A report may reinforce a possible pattern in case there is one.
    -If you don't report her and just let it go, there may always be a doubt that she had a valid reason to cancel and keep the deposit (there are 3 sides to every story).

    "Having things going on" may be a legit reason to cancel a session but never a reason to keep someone's money for services not provided.

  • JennaBethJennaBeth

    @srchecho Im a pro that requires a deposit because I’ve been burned so often. However it is unacceptable for you to be treated this way. Barring gross sexual misconduct from a client, a deposit is held as part of payment in securing a set appointment and if the pro has to cancel, they should reach out to accommodate you for a session. Sorry this happened to you :(

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I have to agree with those who say report. Then the pro can have a discussion with the site about why she did not return the deposit. You may or may not get your money back - but if she doesn't want to get banned, she will have to respond to CC where she is not responding to you.

  • TeddyCuddle45TeddyCuddle45

    Theft is theft, simple as that.

  • MajesticMangoMajesticMango

    Report.

  • KatotaKatota

    You may not be the first one, and if you don't report, you may not be the last one. A report may reinforce a possible pattern in case there is one.

    "Having things going on" may be a legit reason to cancel a session but never a reason to keep someone's money for services not provided.

    @Sooson Very true! 💯😁

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Sorry this happened. That’s why I always say, never send a deposit.

  • Mama_BreMama_Bre

    Sorry it happened to ya. Not the first time I've heard it happen unfortunately.

  • RedFox16RedFox16
    edited September 2024

    @Sooson has good advice for this one. If you've already tried reporting (not sure cuz you didn't include that) you could also leave a 1 star karma to further spur action on her part.

    If she's well established with karma, she will definitely want to reach out to make things right in order to try to get the karma changed (you can change karma later, if you choose).

    Reporting the situation first will let the site know that you tried....since they can go to messages and see for themselves how much you tried (on the flip side, I would make sure you're being genuine before taking further action.....because they will see, if you haven't been)

    That is very disappointing, esp if she's well established (and what you say is indeed the truth). But if you're not telling the whole truth....please don't do this sort of thing in the forums. Others have done that....and come to find out they were straight out lying and only ended up basically doxxing themselves by coming to the forums to publicly embarrass themselves by lying. 🤔

    Good luck and hope it works out the way it should for you both. 🍀

  • MajesticMangoMajesticMango

    Whenever I took deposits I would ask for 20-30 bucks. I felt it wasn’t a lot that someone would feel like they were risking anything.

  • panda619panda619

    Never do deposits

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I would have to hear her side of the story before saying what to do.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Ghosts are scary.

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    @g_w_t_w

    With all due respect, that is bad advice.

    Accepting a deposit and then failing to follow up or provide a refund constitutes a scam.

    No one should let a scam slide if they have any recourse to take action.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @g_w_t_w I don't think the site could force a refund either, but they could ban her.

    @TheFunCartel Not saying it is necessarily the case here, but sometimes there is no report precisely so that the other person doesn't get to tell their side of the story.

  • KatotaKatota

    Ghosts are scary.

    @Mike403 Not all of them, I hear Casper is the exception.

    😁👻

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Katota - Have you seen any of the Casper shows/movies? Everyone was afraid of him.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited September 2024

    @WriterGF @TheFunCartel And that is why, when I commented earlier, one of the reasons I encouraged OP to report is so there in no doubt that he was not in the wrong and that there was no valid reason for the pro's auctions.... :) . And maybe it's a coincidence, but we have not heard from OP since...

    It is very disappointing if she's well established (and what you say is indeed the truth). But if you're not telling the whole truth....please don't do this sort of thing in the forums. Others have done that....and come to find out they were straight out lying and only ended up basically doxxing themselves by coming to the forums to publicly embarrass themselves by lying. 🤔

    Yes, we only have one side of the story here, people.

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