I am enthusiast and have over 50 requests in the last 5 weeks. I respond to all of them even if it is simply to give them advice on why I am not interested. The reason is usually the profile mostly empty - no description of cuddle style, topics for discussion or SOMETHING to start a conversation.
@Gwynne42 - thats fantastic to hear. Well done. I wish more 'enthusiasts' were like you. I understand if someone ignores a one line message but I do feel if someone takes the time to write two or three paragraphs then they deserve a reply. Obviously from previous messages on my post we are in the minority. So sad
@cuddlyDavid True. I know it can work out well not having a pic. There used to be a member here that I trusted enough to meet without a pic and I'm sure if I tried I could meet a few more. But I figure someone that feels very strongly about not sending a pic under any circumstance probably has a different worldview from me and we won't hit it off eventually.
@achetocuddle - yeah I can normally tell from their language if they are genuine. I honestly don't care about looks so as long as they seem decent thats enough for me
@cuddlyDavid You are fortunate to be a man and not have to concern yourself with seeing a pic to see if someone has kind eyes and a non-threatening expression. I would love to be a man. It's wonderful you don't care about looks. I've had very few cuddles partly because most guys do care.
I get 1 out of 10 responses from non pros. I’m not interested in pros. It’s demand
It becomes almost a part-time job that I do for free. While only 50 requests might not seem like a lot, keep in mind that I am twice the age and twice the size of the average female on CC. Many of those requests turn into long threads because many are as starved for genuine conversation as they are for physical touch.
One thing you might try is to add multiple pics showing various things you enjoy. @cuddlyDavid shows only an icon in this thread instead of a pic even though you have a pic on your profile. Try adding a pic to your message so that the recipient doesn't think you are faceless and use it as a reason to reject you before you start a conversation.
@Gwynne42 - really interesting points you make. Yeah it seems I am a bit different from a lot of people on here. The one cuddler I have got to know has lots of cuddlers and most of them are starved of friendships more than anything. I am fine in a social environmnt and have quite a few circles of friends. I even play bass guitar in a band. I won't fully go into why I have come to this site but it centres around a physical problem from birth rather than an emotional one.
Yeah will definately add more pics. I don't use the forum much but will see how to get a pic on here
@cuddlyDavid Why do you consider yourself “a bit different” than other guys on this site?
@cuddlyDavid ahh yes marmite…haven’t had that since I was a kid but I did enjoy it on toast with butter! But just a little bit that’s some strong stuff lol
UK "enthuasist" here. Lots of great advice to original P. Shoutout to WriterGF, always appreciate your thoughtful input. Well said @GordonBrody.
@lonelytauros i'd offer you some but my tea making skills has been criticised by more than one person. I can't endorse jammy dogers ( too soft), but will offer a rich tea digestive instead (dark chocolate)?
@TheFunCartel - It's a personal matter that I was born with. Happy to explain if you DM me
@lonelytauros - haha, yes it really is. It is good in stews as well to make stock.
@4cuddles - thanks for your input. I haven't had jammy dodgers in years. I am seriously going to buy some now! I am going to message you directtly. Hope that is okay
@WriterGF - off topic but you seem to be a CC guru. Do you know what percentage of the site users are from America? I would guess 90%. Since I wrote this (seemingly controversial) post I have had 29 people visit my profile. 27 were from America and 2 were from the UK. For a UK user it feels we are very outnumbered. Especially on a forum where views, experiences and oulooks differ greatly from America to Europe. It also appears that more people in the States cuddle pros rather than 'enthusiasts'
The only non-pros I've written to, who subsequently sent me a reply, (I think without exception) were all banned before I could get back to their reply. It's just the nature of things with a skewed male to female ratio of non-pros. Women get their choice of men cuddlers.
As far as your last question goes, more people cuddle pros because it is quick and easy. Getting an enthusiast to respond can be quite difficult and getting them to cuddle could take months. Someone who wants a cuddle this week or next week will contact a pro.
As far as the CC population goes, I know CC is a UK site. I am sure you have already done this, but do a search for both pros and enthusiasts within 100 kilometers of you and see what comes up. I can tell you that when I search a 50 mile radius of where I am, there are way more active pros than there are active enthusiasts.
@vocalist100 I don't think this is the case in the UK which is why I think my initial post became misunderstood. Asking around, the enthusiast scene is quite strong in the UK
@writerGF - The reason I ask these questions is because it has suddenly become quite clear why my post got so many negative and hostile responses. In America the site is focused on Pros. People want a quick cuddle with no fuss. In the UK people actually are looking for friends who want to cuddle. They are quite happy to invest time in getting to know these people and maybe meeting up for a meal or go to a concert or have a day out before getting round to cuddling. I have got this information by contacting a few male UK cuddlers.
UK and Amrica uses this site quite differently and I now see why people were not surprised I wasn't getting responses from enthusiasts
@cuddlyDavid is a funny and very likeable character in my opinion.
Judging by his response posts on this Forum -he clearly practices what he preaches about replying to messages
We need more Brits on this Forum.
If there are any British Pro Cuddler women in the US- Contact ME - and I will certainly respond- The British Accent alone would be worth the price of the cuddle and the Travel expesne anywhere in the US.
@cuddlyDavid I did a search in a 50 mile radius around London. There are 41 female pros who have been active in the past week. I don't doubt your take on things, but these pros are doing business with someone.
@cuddlyDavid I don’t understand why if you think your prose is fantastic and you are so unique and a can’t miss cuddler as you advertise and the UK is so rife with enthusiasts what your complaint is?
The fact of the matter is the central complaint of the thread—the lack of responses from enthusiasts—is not unique and has been echoed several times over the years from men in the UK and America. Another fact is many of the pros were once enthusiasts. It has nothing to do with you, geography or female enthusiasts. It is a matter of numbers.
Okay guys this is now getting personal. I have been nothing but polite in all my posts. I am coming from a genuine place and I have no agenda. I am now getting quite offended. @TheFunCartel you seem to have real issues with me or is it with UK? All you Americans can do one. I am out.
I’m not sure if I can add a whole lot of value on top of what others have said but yeah, if you had one great experience out of 35 so far that actually IS pretty darn good.
If this makes you feel any better Los Angeles County has a population of literally 10,000,000 people. And despite having what I’m always told is a really good and detailed profile plus 14 excellent karma reviews and a nice intro message to boot, I STILL have to message at least 200 enthusiasts to get 1 cuddle. It’s insane. So count your blessings that you hit gold so quickly. I’ve come to accept that LA is a tough town for cuddling, so simply accept the limitations here as I and others have. Perspective my friend. Perspective.
Moreover, I’ve even gone so far as to reach out to out of area cuddlers (that might possibly visit LA) which is an even longer long shot but I’ve actually had a few successes in this arena: one of which has visited LA and me 3x so far and that woman turned out to be the absolute Holy Grail of cuddlers so know that utter magic CAN actually transpire here! It really can. The key is patience, low expectations and gratitude. (Perhaps a good philosophy for life?)
You just have to accept the fact that that magic wand is the size of a needle in a haystack, but when you find it, and the universe delivers you a good woman, your cup will runneth over once again…
@WestsideMarc please excuse the fact I am not going to respond. Previous replies have left me quite angry. I won't be respnding to anyone else from this thread.
@cuddlyDavid I am not getting personal. I am repeating things you have said on this thread and trying to understand what you are so upset about. The impression you are giving people is a sense of entitlement. You may not think that but it is what you are conveying. My only grievance about you is your complaint seems to constantly morph into something else. What is your main grievance? That enthusiasts won’t respond the way you want or that there are not enough enthusiasts? Or something entirely different? Because a woman who is an enthusiast who puts herself out there has a lot more to lose than a guy who feels everyone should reply back to his every message—and you are saying that you reply back to every message someone sends you and someone who doesn’t do that is rude and ill-mannered. But you also say that you don’t get messages while enthusiast women have been telling you they receive a lot of messages. So an untested virtue is not really a virtue until it is tested, and in this case I think until you receive 200 messages and reply to all of them in a timely manner in a six paragraph reply as you said you preferred then I think rude and impolite do not apply.
Summary: you have the right to think that female enthusiasts are rude for not responding but they have the right to not respond to you because they feel you are entitled for thinking that way.
Perhaps some empathy would be the honey to attract enthusiast bees?
@cuddlyDavid First off since it is a social site, it is a bit rude not to respond, like being at a party, introducing yourself to some people and them not acknowledging your existence. However, be ready for frustration and disappointment if you expect people to live by your imaginary rules. I call them imaginary not as an insult but because that is what they are. You're expecting people to follow a set of social rules that you have formed in your mind. A stranger doesn't know what does or doesn't offend. So my advice is to remember that someone who doesn't respond, or is rude is truly not worth the time, energy or emotion that you are putting out. Also, make sure you don't overwhelm someone you just met with too much details or going too full throttle. Just introduce yourself, and maybe a short but kind compliment such as, loved your profile and how you described your favorite aspect of cuddling. It's a good way to start. Anywho, that's my advice for what it's worth. Cheers and best of luck to you.
@cuddlyDavid I've seen no comments to get offended, or angry by.
You asked a question.
Some users here are trying to understand your concern by drilling down to get to the core, or underlying issue. It's a sincere attempt to provide an authentic answer to your question.
If you're going to get personally offended, then I would suggest not asking such a question.
If you want fluff, stick with more superficial topics.
LOL, I never had anyone tell me to go "do one". That is quite hilarious. I had made a note on the OP's profile that he had a bad attitude about America and I guess I was right. And this hangup some people have about every person should respond to their messages is very strange and kinda childish.