Hi there Cuddlers, I first want to make it clear that I am not looking for a pity party, but simply to explain my past, my situation, and my fears, in hopes of getting some advice. Much of it is embarrassing to talk about to strangers, but this seems to be a pretty accepting community, so here goes. (Might be a long one)
I have had no intimate physical contact for my entire adult life. When I was young and dumb at 19, I was sure I had found the one, and ended up getting my heart ripped out and stomped on in a manner that doesn't really need to go into detail here. So with that I was out of the game for a while, went to college and focused on studying. Unfortunately in my final semester of school, I lost my childhood dog to kidney disease, and then my father to brain cancer. A few months later I had graduated from school and couldn't find a job, and then had to get knee surgery to fix some damage from my football playing days, and at that point, I think my brain had simply had enough and turned on me too.
I had developed a generalized anxiety disorder, which also came with a side of depression, and nowadays even some agoraphobia for dessert. I went from having turned my back on intimacy out of hurt, to doing it out of shame and feeling that I wasn't deserving of it, which only increased as I gained weight as a result of medications, not being able to leave the home often, and because I plain ate too much because it was one thing that felt good.
I'm starting to improve, my meds are doing a better job of stabilizing me (let me be clear I was never violent or hurtful, just sad and scare mostly), I have my own condo, I work full time from home, and I am losing weight slowly but surely, but a look at my profile pic will show that I've still a ways to go. And yet, these eighteen years later I have not felt the touch of another person, a kiss on the cheek from a friend maybe, but not even a lingering hug. So having seen this site and that many people seem to have received great benefits from cuddling, I decided to join up.
And now I am terrified. 
The anxiety seemingly screams at me, well you're just going to be rejected here too, or that even if someone is willing to spend some time with me that I'm just too weird for her to be able to enjoy it. I really am a loving person, and I crave some sort of intimacy in my life, and really when I think back... aaaaall the way back, sure, sex was nice, but it's the cuddling that I really miss, the feeling of another warm caring body against mine. So I really want to give this a shot, and really try to make it work, because I think it could possibly be a breakthrough for me, but I am terrified all the same.
I guess I'm just looking for advice. From people who have lived similar stories to mine, or cuddled with people who have lived similar stories to mine, on ways of trying to take away that fear and become more comfortable. And of course advice from everyone else is welcomed as well. There are no bad ideas here. (Please don't prove me wrong.) Anyways, thanks for reading, and hopefully for helping.
Mike