I think touch starvation is a bigger problem than a lot of people realize.

HealingSystemHealingSystem
in General

I believe that human touch is a necessity.
Speaking from experience, I know that, without physical touch, the mind and the body's health start to decrease.
I haven't been held in over two years. I can feel it. I can physically feel it. My heart in my chest actually hurt due to the longing to be held. The last few days, it's gotten exceptionally bad. To the point where I actually want to figure out how to force myself to hallucinate the feeling of someone holding me. I don't think that this is normal.
I'm not really sure what else I wanted to say, I just want people to realize that this is a real issue, and I think a lot of people experience it, a lot more than we realize.

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Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    human touch is a necessity.

    Yes, I agree.

  • KuddleKinggKuddleKingg

    It’s overlooked

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited October 2024

    @HealingSystem what have you tried on this site? You sound like you are in real pain, but have you reached out to anyone?

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @TheFunCartel I tried reaching out to people. I have someone who is a potential,
    It's just really hard when some people messaged me, and they wish that they could hold me, but they live in California or something. It honestly makes me cry every single time. Why does everyone have to live so far away?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I know it’s hard. Do you have any support system where you live? Family? You seem like a good guy.

  • FalcoFalco

    @HealingSystem: I am very sorry of hearing that. You have my comprehension, in some parts of Europe it's very difficult too. To a practical extent, what are your geographical limits? I don't know too much about US public transportation, but maybe writing the cities you could reach, someone can give you some heads up. I hope this helps. Good luck!

  • IneedahugortwoIneedahugortwo

    @HealingSystem I’m so sorry you haven’t been held in over two years. That’s awful. And you’re very right, human touch is a necessary, at least for most of us. I was touched deprived for many years before finding out about this site. It can take a toll on your mental and physical health. I don’t think we realize how bad it gets, until after you are being held again for the “first time” and you get that feeling of “being accepted, no matter what” like a silent way of saying “it’s going to be ok”, “I got you”.

    Wish you lived closer so we could cuddle, and I could hold you tight. My heart breaks for you and all the people that are in the same situation. No one should be neglected physical touch. I’m really sorry you still haven’t being held. Continue to stay active on the forums and don’t give up. Hope you find someone soon.

    Sending lots of virtual hugs 🤗 🫂

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    isn't that the one of the reasons CC was founded?

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Two years is hard. Fourteen is pretty challenging too.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited October 2024

    @HealingSystem Hey friend. I’ve seen you post before. Being blind must be a terrible affliction. I know all our hearts go out to you. I’m assuming you have a friend that is posting and reading all of this for you?

    You’re not alone that’s why we are all here, to have the sometimes elusive need of physical contact met. May I ask what’s stopping you from using a pro? Are there no local pros in Wisconsin? Do you have the funds to book one?

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @WestsideMarc Yeah, I use a screen reader and text to speech. So I can post things and read comment on my own.
    I honestly don't have the money to book a professional within my area. so many people are over $100 an hour. I've seen some people charge over $150 an hour, and I just think that's crazy. I don't have that kind of money.😭😭

  • waterfalls1956waterfalls1956

    I agree so why people not responding and wanting human physical interaction? My state (Michigan) not much cuddling I know one where I live this is the second biggest city in the state no one seems interested.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @HealingSystem Sometimes, with some pros, they operate like attorneys in that they may not do pro bono work, but if you explain your situation they will offer a compassion discount. You just need to reach out and ask. Often the answer is no but there are ones that do discount because they are here because they truly believe cuddling offers benefits.

  • FixerOfPewsFixerOfPews

    @waterfalls1956
    It's complicated.
    Life gets in the way, many people are too shy to reach out or even respond, the website itself can be buggy at times and nonfunctional, etc.
    This website is also fairly small in the grand scheme of things. Makes me wish platonic cuddling was alot more mainstream, the world needs it

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited October 2024

    @HealingSystem Fascinating. I’m so glad you have that technology available to you in this day and age.

    If you will allow me, I’d love to pay for a session for you.

    I’d be happy to help you choose someone or if you have the ability to do so on your own - even better.

    I just messaged you my number and we can go from there, and I’ll take care of payment directly with the provider prior to your meet.

    Marc

  • SoosonSooson
    edited October 2024

    @HealingSystem I know a pro in your area that I think would be a good fit, if you are interested. She promised to be back in September but here we are and crickets. She a true professional and even has those horseshit certs from cuddlist but regardless, she's a very nice lady and a good person to talk to.

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear
    edited October 2024

    Edit: taking the discussion to PM

  • HealingSystemHealingSystem

    @Sooson what's the username?

  • SleepySheep1SleepySheep1
    edited October 2024

    The machine working by design, thanks ✨️patriarchy✨️

    With that being said I'm sorry you're having such a hard time finding a pro in your area or at a level that's financially accessible to you. If you're ever in the northeast I'd gladly offer a free session with you @HealingSystem.

    I've had a few deaf or blind clients before who were on fixed incomes and I totally understand how rates for them can be out of reach, so I reduced them heavily or didn't charge at all.

    I find massage parlors can sometimes be more within reach, but it depends because average in my area is $85 an hour, so not far off from a pro-cuddler rate anyway. I really hope you can find someone soon!

  • SoosonSooson

    @HealingSystem Shared in DM

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Massage is a good suggestion @SleepySheep1

  • magpie17201magpie17201

    Get a cat or a dog. Sometimes better than a human cuddle at times.

  • broncoguy45broncoguy45

    @HealingSystem I understand completely, been about 5 yrs for me. Signed up to this site last month. Been reading bio's of ppl I believe would be a good fit. Had my 1st the other day, and while she was a nice person, she had me hold her, but barely touched me, so in the end, I left feeling as I arrived, touch starved. I haven't given up, and nether can you. We all need to be held, by another. Keep positive, you'll find what you seek. I'm afraid when I find it, I'm going to ball like a baby. Stay strong brother

  • CuddlyKoala47CuddlyKoala47

    @HealingSystem sending you a warm virtual hug (if that’s wanted). What you’re experiencing is so real and you’re right, we live in a touch starved culture that’s really not healthy and it can create a lot of issues.

    I’ve been there myself at points in my life and yes, it can make you feel crazy. We all need loving caring affirming touch.

    I hope you can find a pro near you with the community offer shared above. Also I wonder if accessing a community cuddle event/party might be an option to find a cuddle buddy near you?

    Are there consent/cuddle facilitators or intimacy educators in your area? They may have resources for you alongside connecting with folks here in this community.

  • SleepySheep1SleepySheep1

    @broncoguy45 And this is why I think the most important skill a cuddler can possess is communication. Should be checking in and asking questions, and I think talking about likes/dislikes and expectations beforehand can help prevent issues like this too.

    Don't be afraid to ask for things you want during a session. "Hey I'd love to be little spoon for a bit if that's okay?" Or a "I'd like if you could maybe ____ , is that something we can try?" can go a long way. I understand it can be hard to speak up though, and it's easy to feel like you don't want to "bother" them, but it's collaborative! They should want to hear your thoughts and feelings, and you should be able to hear there's and find something in that venn diagram that works for both parties.

    I'm sorry your first session wasn't what you needed and I hope that your future ones will be better. 🙏

  • IneedahugortwoIneedahugortwo

    Great advice from @SleepySheep1. Don’t be shy to say what you want, a pro is there for “you “. It’s all about you!

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    I hope you can find a good fit near you. :)

  • atomicbearhugatomicbearhug

    Hey bud. Someone reached out to me about your post. I really empathize with what you’re going through. Though I am having some car issues right now, I am local.
    Since I am a professional, I don’t know if I am allowed to message you first, Please shoot me a message so we can chat.

  • Expecting_MagicExpecting_Magic

    @HealingSystem I agree 100%! I experienced this myself. I went seven years without being physically held, and the emotional and physical effects are undeniable and vicious. Lucky for me, I am a very outgoing and social person, so I subsisted on long, warm hugs. But, that's like trying to stave off real hunger by sucking on a candy cane. It provides some relief, but doesn't address the root issue of being severely touch starved.

    I have become a self-appointed advocate of platonic human touch and affection. Trying mightily to de-stigmatize the social barriers that exist, preventing us from experiencing nourishing human touch and affection. From my experience, one HAS to be in some form of a committed partnership to be granted the "exclusive right" to be touched, to be held, to receive necessary human affection.

    If you are single, and seek out platonic human affection among personal friends and contacts, you are likely going to be: rejected, scorned, pitied, scolded, called a creep/stalker, and maybe empathized...a little. But you will NOT have anybody step up and offer to hold you.
    Believe me, I tried. And I got steam-rolled for it. The word got around in the larger social circle I am in, and the responses have been cold, bemused, angry, and occasionally understanding. I am labeled a creep, stalker, and pervert...just because I asked a few women to hold my hand. That's right. Because of this, the narrative has evolved to where I am now labeled a "sexual harasser, preying on young women". Just because I desperately sought out simple human touch while I was SEVERELY touch starved.

    I asked for help, and I am being demonized and cancelled for it. I have a LOT of support from good, close friends. But I get tons of dirty looks, side-eye stares, and outright taunting from my immature haters.

    Thus, my point is that our present culture makes it pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to receive adequate human touch if you are not in a committed serious relationship. If you choose to be single, or you are unable to find a partner (which I find to be extremely elusive), our present American society and it's dating norms say that YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF HUMAN AFFECTION!

    I challenge anyone to successfully argue otherwise. Not a single one of my MANY good, close female friends were willing to even just sit beside me and hold my hand. I was "asking for too much." And when I broadcast my touch-starved status to my Facebook friends, all I received was the same old advice and well-wishes. Not a single volunteer to touch me. No one reached out with REAL help, only empty sentiment. Thus, all I received for my efforts was rejection, indifference, scorn, and humiliation. There was some compassionate sympathy and empathy, but that is empty sentiment when you are severely touch starved, and not a SINGLE person steps up to actually help.

    I found relief HERE. Cuddle Comfort DOT com!!!! I'm a believer and passionate endorser of this service. Without it, I may not be here. My severely touch starved status, combined with the harsh and unsympathetic responses I received, I seriously considered ending it.

    My frustration was so high and all consuming. I felt like I was dying of thirst, and everyone is carrying around a jug of water, and yet no one will give me even one sip. And I'm begging. Please, I need a drink. NOPE!! You need a partner before you are worthy of being granted a free drink of water.

    Doesn't that sound completely ridiculous?? Yes, it is, but it's the current state of our f'ed up social culture. I am surrounded by touch-starved single men. But they are TERRIFIED of reaching out and risk being labeled a creeper, stalker, weirdo, pervert (things I have been called to my face, and I'm normally considered to be a well-mannered, polite and considerate person). All these men would rather suffer loneliness and severe depression, than risk being labeled a potential sexual harasser. There is very little middle ground.

    I decided from the beginning that I would pay for cuddles from pro's on this site, and the results are nothing less than Miraculous!! I have 3-4 cuddle pro's that I see regularly. And based on good Karma feedback, I have cuddle pro's reaching out to me, making first contact to book a cuddle session. It's amazing!

    In real life, I'm perpetually single, with zero takers.
    But, in the Cuddle Comfort world, I'm a "stud" who is in high demand. The attention is intoxicating!!
    In real life, I can't find a single "Yes" of consent. But in the CC world, consent is granted right away, and I've been proven to be worthy of platonic human affection. FINALLY!!

    Yay for me, right?? What about the millions of touch-starved individuals who don't have CC to fall back on, or who can't afford it?? Society says you are not worthy of a glass of water, even if you are de-hydrated and about to die. Unless you are in a committed relationship, you are not worthy.....

    Thank you, @HealingSystem for bringing up this topic!!!! I am a soldier on the front lines battling severe ignorance and societal push-back on the notion that platonic human affection is real, and we all DESERVE IT, completely independent of our current relationship status.

    @dennis22554 You are 100% correct. Cuddle Comfort DOT com was founded on the notion that we need real affectionate human touch and our present society completely fails most of us in this regard.

    I am very fortunate to have some savings. I can afford current cuddle pro rates. If you have the ability to pay, the CC system works beautifully!! If you get some genuine, honest, positive karma feedback, the quality pro's will seek YOU out.

    Thank you @WestsideMarc for stepping up and volunteering to pay for a cuddle for @HealingSystem!!!! Maybe this is something that could be expanded into a system, where those with funds to spare can offset the cost of a cuddle appointment for so many folks where the cost is prohibitive. A donation system. Ever heard of "hanging coffee's"?? Let's hang some cuddle appointments out there for folks who really need them and can't afford it. We give away food and water to those who find challenges. Let's extend that compassionate charity into the world of platonic human touch?!? OK?!! 🤷🏼‍♂️

    This is such a good idea, I'll start a whole new discussion thread about "Hanging Cuddles"!! Stay Tuned!!

    One last thought before I sign-off. In the spirit of compassion and awareness, please think of those that you know that are considered or labeled weird, dorky, shy, awkward, quiet, nerdy, odd, quirky, or not ideally social, and ask yourself if you think they are receiving adequate human touch and affection. And if the answer is "No" (which it likely is), please DO SOMETHING about it. We need ACTION. Grass roots level radical intervention. SEEK out those you know that can benefit from being held, unconditionally.

    We have millions of lovely individuals in this world who are not being held, in a society that is telling them that they are NOT WORTHY of it. If you don't have a partner, or if you don't have abundant wealth, you are deemed unworthy of simple human affection.

    THIS IS WRONG AND WE HERE ALL KNOW IT. SO, LET'S ALL COLLECTIVELY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

    Step One:
    Find someone who needs to be held, and hold them. Right away. Now. Yesterday, if possible...

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Im sorry that you’ve had such a difficult time finding someone. It’s the case for so many people.
    Some need more than others. I know that firsthand. But when you’re craving company of others, hugs & Touch and can’t find someone and are lonely, it has to be so painful.
    I hope you can find someone in your area. Posting here will help.

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