A COCKROACH ‘s picture.

Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL
in General

Why do we not see pictures of people that have offended in this site or even banned? Whether male or female, I should see a picture to prevent an offender encounter and even if they change their profile, I will still get to recognize this cockroach in a public meet. The pro’s have it in the unsafe client thread so why can’t it be shared ?

  1. Do you want to see the cockroach?42 votes
    1. Are you agreeable to petition this w/ admin?
      59.52%
    2. I do not care.
      40.48%
«13

Comments

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited October 2024

    The site opens itself up to legal issues if they did that.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    Not a lawyer^

  • Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL

    And what about the people offended? Doesn’t that carry more weight?

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @DHarna

    I’m not sure what your last comment means

  • Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL

    There are pro’s that had their share of lewd or scary dealings. The most this platform does is ban a profile. That offender can always create a new profile.

    For those who Have been offended, they remain silent bec it’s not the responsibility of this platform to inflict justice so the least that can be done is post the offender’s pic.

  • [Deleted User]justwanthugs (deleted user)

    A lot of people never put their picture on here

  • happyhourhappyhour

    I remember reading in a post about a mega thread where members used to post screenshots of ridiculous or bannable profiles here. That one got removed entirely for some reason by the site owner.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    I for one do not want to see pictures of someone's cockroach.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I agree that photos of banned and/or dangerous members should be available - But that’s just my opinion and the site is going to be more concerned with it’s own CYA legal protection.
    One thing to consider is that a minority of members were banned for reasons other than danger to a cuddler. ie: Forum behavior

    Anyone Concerned about their own safety would want to save or screenshot a potential cuddler’s photo for protection and a record.
    ** My practice is to never meet with anyone without screening & seeing a photo first, and if they won’t send you one for me to keep then - Why are they hiding??? Sounds like sketchy behavior to me.**
    Then share that photo with a safety contact. These are just steps I would take.
    (I don’t even know if it’s ethical to screenshot, but your safety is more important).
    If that person isn’t doing anything wrong, it’s not an issue. But #1 concern is to protect yourself.
    And yes, the Pro forum has photos of dangerous men and warnings. From my memory as a Pro there are even a couple of people here who are active in the forum right now who were talked about for a few reasons. I have to wonder if they’re aware…

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @happyhour that " inappropriate profiles" was the best thread ever. I miss it, pure entertainment. But it's not exactly like what the OP is suggesting.

  • happyhourhappyhour

    @BashfulLoner there's a reason why the site owner made that "laugh at people" thread disappear, it's likely the same reason why a thread like the OP is wanting won't be allowed.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I do think it might have some value but it be hard to do that without being specific about the offense. Some people have been banned for simply being a-holes or having bad opinions or even communication styles. Those things could be reason we don't want them around but to be publicly humiliated, i think that's a bit to far. I've interacted with people i think deserve not to be around because of their stance on things, but most people seem to like or tolerate them. So if i was the keeper of that database it might look different than you expect, would that be fair? I'm sure some people roll their eyes when they see me post ( something to that effect has been said) and probably think I'm a problem, should i be on that cockroach list? I think it's better left to the guidelines that are set and handled those we trust to do so. It might be beneficial to have some sort of council to contribute to those decisions, a diagonal slice of users but how do we get enough participation for it to be a good representation? I don't know the answer, i just don't think it's easy in application and likely would cause more problems.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @happyhour i understood that, but i liked it.

  • Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL

    @Justwanthugs…….. majority will send pictures even if their profile doesn’t have one. If an offense is done then that picture as confirmed by the other party should be posted.

  • Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL

    @g_w_t_w ….. I agree safety has to come 1st.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited October 2024

    Where to begin a response to the original post 🙄

    1) Lets start with the biased poll question which essentially asks, “Do you agree with me or are you wrong?” How about giving us a 3rd option of “I don’t want this site sued into oblivion for defamation so no, I don’t want a photo wall of shame of banned members.

    2) The only 2 people who KNOW what actually happened in a 2 person cuddle are the 2 people involved in that cuddle. They have first hand knowledge about what happened. Anything said by anyone else is hearsay (the legal term for a rumor).

    Even among the parties with first hand knowledge of what happened during any given cuddle, their accounts often contradict when there are accusations of inappropriate conduct. When inappropriate conduct is reported, the mods do their best to investigate and make a decision about what actually happened then they take the action they deem appropriate, up to banning a member.

    3) Referring to banned members of this site as “cockroaches” is not only dehumanizing but also a violation of this site’s policy on abusive and hateful posts. If you were banned for posting hateful comments, would you want your photo posted on the “cockroach wall of shame” as a banned member with no opportunity to tell your side of the story?

    Forum use: This section governs use of the discussion forum, and applies to all users either directly or indirectly, registered or otherwise. You agree, through your use of our forum, that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing…

  • SoosonSooson

    @JohnR1972 You just made me play Love Story by Andy Williams but I will let it go considering the wisdom that followed.

  • interalia626interalia626

    @Sooson Now I have Taylor Swift "Love Story" stuck in my head

  • SoosonSooson
    edited October 2024

    @interalia626 lol my sincere apologies. Though you now made me think about Andy Reid eating a double cheeseburger.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited October 2024

    There are other scenarios that might occur before a session even happens, where someone sends obviously sexual photos or makes threats. I’ve received some pretty awful messages myself. I report those people, but there’s no way to warn others and sometimes they do make a new account & return because I’ve also seen that firsthand.
    So it’s not always something that only occurs behind closed doors between the 2 people in the session.
    But yes, for the sake of the site, even though it would be nice to know, it won’t happen. Also too many would probably abuse it.
    Unless you’re a Pro and access the Pros Only forum, there’s really no warning system except your own safety practice.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    If the person is banned for something that does not involve a physical meeting, then who's to say any photo provided isn't fake? Then you are publicly calling out someone who may not even be a member here, just someone whose photo was stolen.

  • DirkSavageDirkSavage

    Why does the movie Scarface come to mind when reading the header to this thread? Lolz!

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @WriterGF
    True, the possibilities for all kinds of drama and privacy issues are endless. As always, just the nature of this site and one more risk involved with meeting or even just chatting with Strangers from the Internet. People hide away and don’t get what they need, others feel brave and take a chance.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited October 2024

    @Sooson & @interalia626 - my apologies to both of you. 😂

    @g_w_t_w - I agree completely. I’m not saying banned members making new accounts isn’t a problem, just that the proposed “solution” has so many problems it is a non-starter…

    1) I do not know the ratio of men to women who get banned from this site but I know 100% of pros must post a face photo while clients do not. This means the new rule would likely result in more women’s faces appearing on the wall of shame for allegedly offering “extras” than men’s faces for allegedly asking for extras. That sounds a lot like “s**t shaming” to me.

    2) Of the men who post photos, what percentage of them are real photos (and less than a decade old)? There are NUMEROUS threads on this site about people who use filters and/or old photos which creates potential safety issues when the person you meet doesn’t look like the person in the profile pic.

    3) Imagine how easy the proposed policy would be to exploit. If you don’t like someone running for office or your kid’s teacher, just take their photo, make a fake account for them, and start sending out obnoxious messages until their account gets banned. Now someone who has never even heard of CC gets to explain to voters, their employer and/or their spouse how their name and photo wound up on the CC wall of shame.

    I could go on but I think these examples are enough to make my point. This whole thread reminds me of a quote I heard a couple weeks ago in a completely different context. “Anyone who claims to have a simple, easy, and effective solution to a long standing, complex problem probably doesn’t have any idea what they are talking about.”

  • cobrapause44cobrapause44

    Why not contact the police. If you’ve been assaulted I’m not sure cuddle comfort is responsible for making sure it doesn’t happen to other people. They aren’t vigilantes are they?

  • pmvinespmvines

    I'm disappointed to not see pictures of cockroaches. Madagascar hissing cockroaches are pretty fascinating

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited October 2024

    FWIW - I am not a lawyer, but I do know how to read. When one member of this site communicates IN PRIVATE with a mod to report alleged inappropriate conduct, there is no legal issue because it was done in private and the accused’s reputation has not been harmed with the broader community.

    However, a public post accusing a person of inappropriate conduct would harm the reputation of the person in question and fits the definition of defamation.

    https://legaldictionary.net/defamation/

    Defamation is a legal term that refers to any statement made by a person, whether verbal or printed, that causes harm to another person’s reputation or character. A defamatory statement made in writing, or “published,” it is considered “libel,” a defamatory statement that is spoken is considered “slander.” Defamation is not considered a criminal act, but a civil wrong. As the Constitution of the United States promises its citizens freedom of speech, there is often a fine line between exercising that right and making defamatory statements that harm another person.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @JohnR1972 thank you for articulating that throughly. I wish i could do that.

    I also did not have a song pop in my head and i will not be discovering any of the songs mentioned, for many reasons.

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    @pmvines Here you go ...

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @JohnR1972
    Good points from an angle I hadn’t thought of.

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