@DogsTrave Interesting suggestion. But if you never want to see the person's profile again and have no interest in connecting, why does it matter if they take the blocking wrong?
@WriterGF Good question. For me at least hiding feels less abrasive. “Why was I blocked? I didn’t do anything wrong.” It’s similar to favoriting - I’m the only one who can see it. If favoriting alerted someone I’d use it far less often.
If I block someone, it would be for a strong reason such as a negative interaction or profile content that makes it clear we’d be incompatible.
I’d use hide far more often to remove cuddlers from my views. It’s simply a more targeted filter.
It’s also a common feature on other social media/community sites.
Again, not a must have but for a mature site, I think many would find it helpful.
@BrianOcean I appreciate that you expressed your opinion respectfully, and directly - unlike those who made snide personal attacks without the nerve to tag me. Differing opinions are perfectly alright, and can make an impact, if approached calmly.
Meanwhile, the flurry of well thought-out and articulate responses cough memes cough from the lynch mob made me reconsider my entire moral foundation! 😂 slow clap
@DogsTrave posted: "I occasionally get messages asking why I looked more than once."
This is the weirdest reaction, yet it's been reported numerous times. It's like renting a storefront and then yelling at people who look at it while walking by. 🤪
The option to hide profiles has been mentioned quite a few times, before. Craig's List had this feature, eons ago - if you saw an ad you weren't interested in, you could hide it so it didn't clutter up future searches.
@WriterGF posted: "if you never want to see the person's profile again and have no interest in connecting, why does it matter if they take the blocking wrong?"
This is (supposed to be) a caring community, and we've all seen the stream of hurt individuals posting, "Blocked and don't know why". We could avoid causing unnecessary insecurity or hurt with a Hide feature. (Whether those feelings of hurt are often justified or not is a whole different subject, haha, but I would like to think we would choose to avoid causing it, regardless.)
They may see each other on the boards, at meet and greets, and at local group cuddles. I imagine it would be awkward (and, for a man who blocked a woman, potentially seen as a threat 😱) to attempt to approach them in a community setting to explain, "Hey, by the way, I didn't want to block you, I just can't cuddle people with cats in the house due to severe allegies". 🤪
Personally, I wouldn't like walking around with anyone thinking I blocked them out of nowhere. The choice few people I've blocked know exactly why they made the honor roll. To me, blocking without explanation is a cowardly thing to do. It's everyone's right, of course, but personally, I find it distasteful.
Lastly, just because someone doesn't want to see a user in their search results over and over, doesn't by any means imply that they never want to interact or speak with that user. In the cat allergy scenario, perhaps the user strictly hosts, so you know you'll never meet up for a cuddle...but you'd be totally open to them messaging you about a topic on the message board, asking for tips on restaurants in town, or jabbering about your shared video game obsession. Blocking, when all you want to do is Hide from search, prevents all of that.
So I can understand not wanting to use the block feature in a way it wasn't designed for, as a technical workaround for a programming shortcoming.
A workaround for the workaround, for those who are sensitive to the feelings of others or who don't want to be misunderstood, would be to PM anyone you're going to block, with the aforementioned, "It's not you, it's your cat" bit.
But ain't nobody got time fo' dat. 😅
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug
@SunsetSnuggles Thanks. I really have no dog in this fight, just asking a question.
@WriterGF Just answering a question, it's an interesting topic. But if puppies are involved, I call dibs on the fluffy one!
But if you never want to see the person's profile again and have no interest in connecting, why does it matter if they take the blocking wrong?
@WriterGF I agree. I don’t care at all if someone blocks me. There are billions of people in the world and you are not going to please everyone without changing who you are, so using real life as a touchstone you should have developed a sense that you are not all that to everyone by now. As far as people getting upset when they get blocked I would say that is a problem for them because rejection is a part of life and if you can’t handle being blocked by a stranger you have unresolved issues. I will explain face-to-face to someone why I blocked them, but explaining it here is self-aggrandizing. I have been blocked before and I am sure I will be blocked again and the feeling is always mutual so I don’t need an explanation.
I do think the way people use technology today is a big part of the problem. People of my age grew up without computers or cellphones and you had to do everything face-to-face or on the landline. This is why I would tell someone to their face why I blocked them—it is natural when you actually developed that way early in life without the benefit of a screen to hide behind. Words on a screen are just that—words. We are living in the age of disingenuous intentions where people can say the kindest things online and be a dick in real life or come across as insensitive online but be a sweetheart in person because they are just honest. Living life online is not real.
@TheFunCartel You took my thoughts but expressed them better than I could. You must have ESPN.
As far as people getting upset when they get blocked I would say that is a problem for them because rejection is a part of life and if you can’t handle being blocked by a stranger you have unresolved issues.
Exactly.
And nobody is responsible for how somebody else handles their own emotions.
I received a DM a few days ago that I was being blocked because I viewed her profile and passed her by. It gave me a good chuckle.
@gem7 Just what @DogsTrave was talking about. 😆 People who show you their cray cray are doing you a favor.
I've been blocking back those who blocked me just for S&Gs. but now I'm thinking : it's not fair to have those count against the grand total of 200. 🤣🤣🤣
@gem7 - Imagine if Apple blocked you from ever buying their products because you viewed one of their ads and didn't make a purchase right then.
People are weird.
@Mike403 @gem7 It was the deal of a lifetime... and you missed it! 🤪
Only time being blocked has bothered me is when someone I was actually friends with here as well as offsite blocked me . Happened once because the person was getting feelings for me and decided was best to cut off contact . Another time it happened I actually have no idea why they did and still don't , we had met before and continued to keep In touch and had a very friendly and cordial relationship. It did seem to hapoen shortly after I went on a grumpy tirade about someone who she seems to really appreciate on the site so maybe I was being too much of a dick and she didn't want to continue our friendship, which I can respect that I suppose. I'm a softy at heart but I do have a mouth sometimes. Just weird to go from chatting to not even acknowledging each other in the forums
@pmvines I didn’t know I spark grumpy tirades.
Lol @TheFunCartel you and I are too similar for me to rage on 😂
@Mike403 Yes, people view product offerings frequently just as we view profiles. Indeed, wierdness exists.
I made a thread awhile back asking if viewing a profile(especially often) but not contacting them means I'm stalking them. I click on everyone's profile if they post on the forums. It's out of habit. I'm not stalking any one particular person.
@Mike403 Unless someone is visiting my profile numerous times a week, for months, without contacting me, it never even registers. 🤷🏻♀️ Even then, I've never been bothered enough to ask them what they're doing. 😄 Methinks those girls need to stop stalking their own Visitors page and get some fresh air...
Put in the cuddle rules that if they cancel an appointment, they will be banned. I've been on this site for years and 99% of all the men who book appointments cancel them last minute after I've changed my schedule (I have 3 jobs) to accommodate meeting them. I'm fed up with the jerks doing this.
If they don't get banned, then charge everyone a deposit which goes towards the appointment. If they cancel, they'll be charged. Make sure there's a label on their profile so that other cuddlers know they're a flake. In fact, put a snowflake on their profile deeming them an appointment risk.
I get the sense that Debster finds last minute cancellations to be mildly irritating.
@Debster - I think negative karma should be appropriate in that instance to warn other cuddlers. Unless they have a very good reason such as a family member dying, it's rude and selfish.
no more karma for men or women pro or non pro remove the karma completely
@Debster It must be very aggravating. If you cancel an appt. with your doctor, should the practice ban you? I've had to cancel dentist appointments when my kid was sick. I'd rather not get banned for that.
Do all people who cancel have a good reason? Absolutely not. But how does the site verify that to justify a ban?
Any pro can charge a deposit for just these situations, and do.
@WriterGF - Banning might be a little extreme. My doctor charges $50 for short notice cancelations. It's impossible for this site to enforce it unless to pro charges a deposit in advance.
@Debster
Your contract reads:
"15. Any deposit requirements should be stated clearly in your profile."
Your clients' contract reads:
"13. If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it's unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice."
To get some females in the UK and that are actually real women not fake bit accounts
It would be nice that blocking someone also blocked their forum posts like other sites.
There are a few here who I disagree with and would rather not see their posts.
Sure I can skip when I see their name pop up but the curse of speed reading often undermines that lol.
Just my thought.
I don't know that the juice is worth the squeeze. I just skip past certain posters as I'd skip past certain channels, commercials, or songs. The forums need to be open unless a mod deems someone so toxic they need a time out or ban hammer. Otherwise users would end up seeing replies without context and those blocked may wonder why you/others didn't reply and then post again > rinse and repeat drama. Ugh.
I get the sentiment though!