Cuddler Asking For First And Last Name

music777music777
in General

I had a few pleasant exchange with a woman who is a paid cuddler. I was planning to meet her, but her less message seemed strange to me. She said she likes to know the first and last name of all of her cuddles. Is this unusual? I always share my first name, but why would somebody want to know my last name? It seems suspicious to me.

«1

Comments

  • garrablancagarrablanca

    No, It's not unusual, they want to feel secure, since their going out of their places to a place they don't know, they also want to leave that information with someone that can look for her in case of something bad happens to them.
    Personally I understand that, but I avoid that kind of cuddle buddy, I also have my own concerns about giving my personal information to a total stranger.
    For us some of them are total anonymous, some others are so open and trustful, because they keep things in same fairly.

    So be safe and keep looking.

  • strangemanNJstrangemanNJ

    For the basis of good faith that I'm not planning anything nefarious;
    I've given enough on my profile for anyone to find me, and also if they wanted to seriously delve into my life.
    Name, hometown, friends, and workplace all.

    I do the same on a certain well known black & red website. I'm fortunate in that I don't have to 'hide' these aspects of my life. The people who care about me know, and the people who don't care about me, I don't care one whit for their opinions.

    Not saying a major case of doxxing would not be annoying, but knock wood,
    it hasn't happened yet, and I've done so for years...

  • Lev136Lev136

    You have to recognize that these women are going to places and meeting men they don't know. What I do is give them enough information that they know that I a telling them who I am and nothing will happen to them. The best way to do that is let them know you have been platonic cuddling for awhile, understand it's limitations and keep a good friendly conversation going. I do a lot of hosting, so I send a picture of my place if I can so the woman can find it when she gets there and let her know what I am planning on doing before the session starts.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    I've seen more than a dozen pro cuddlers and never given any of them my last name.
    So you don't have to. It is not a requirement

  • Lev136Lev136

    @melancholy - No, it's not a requirement but you do have to talk to them to let them know that they will be safe when meeting you.

  • CUD_maleCUD_male

    Some ask for photo ID copy, which would contain more than full name. Exchange info would be ok

  • JuryJury

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    HAHA where am I??

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    It's not suspicious to ask for a last name. However, I think it's futile. Anyone can make up an ID and lie about who they are. It doesn't make you safe to have that information, which may well be false. I've never asked for an ID. Last names have been given to me by some of my cuddlers after a lot of communication during which we've established trust. Even so, I've never asked any of them if I could see their driver's license.

    I have told people where I'm going and when I'm expected back if I'm not hosting. That's the best you can do.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    I love when @BlueIris answers this question, especially as Pro.

    I know everyone has their own system and trust level but her answer always makes me feel at ease.

    @Jury nice jacket.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I agree with @chococuddles in that @BlueIris usually has some pretty sound and sensible advice especially for a newbie. I dont usually ask for last names of folks, even people i have spoken with on here for a good while i still dont know their last names. And i have met some in the real world and even then i dont always know their last names and if they tell me i may not even be able to recall if asked. I will say that. I just try to go by my gut when meeting up with someone and dont feel the need really to know all their personal details. However i am also speaking from a guys perspective, and realize there are things women have to consider that may not always be at the top list of concerns for a man, such as potential for assault, etc. '

  • PrincessTiffanyPrincessTiffany

    I never ask but it the information is given to me, I do a quick background check. If serious something comes up, I politely decline.
    No names, or potentially a fake name, I still may proceed but tell multiple people my location, their photo and such. And obviously have my guard up.
    Safety is the number one priority

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    @music777 it really is a personal preference. You give your first and last name when going to the chiropractor or even to get a manicure or pedicure. Unless she's coming to your place why does a first and last name matter?

    Or you could turn it around on her and ask for her's; if she's not comfortable giving you hers then don't give yours out.

  • chubbybunnychubbybunny

    Seems a reasonable request to me

  • [Deleted User]mdx71 (deleted user)
    edited March 2019

    I see how some people want to remain incognito on a cuddling site but people need to make sure they're safe and not giving it if asked would be sort of shady.

  • Missy87Missy87

    I can understand asking that information because of safety concerns. As a female, allowing someone into your home is a big risk. When a person makes a cuddle request but has no photo, or anything to go off of on their profile to try to see what kind of person he/she is, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't ask last names but I do search their phone numbers and can usually find a first and last name associated with it, among other information that will help me feel more comfortable with the person coming to my home. It's when the person gives me a Voip number like Google voice or Skype phone number, and a fake name that doesn't match anything that I get nervous that it might be a shady person up to no good. I realize that some people use Voip numbers because they might be married or in a relationship and don't want their spouses to know that they're platonically cuddling, but still. There has to be some transparency to be able to establish a level of trust so you're not worried. That being said, even if you do know the person's first and last name, they could still turn out to be a creep. At least knowing their first and last name, you would have something to go off of if the person did something awful and you needed to report the person to the police.

  • SideonSideon

    Common sense and safety, people. Meet in public first, always. If and then you care to share last names, so be it. As always, @BlueIris speaks truth here.

    You straight people have some funny biases and internalized shame going on if you're putting more weight on last name and identity ("oh no! someone knows who I am) than going with "Hi, I'm glad to meet you and get to know you in a cuddle kind of way". I know everyone is somehow expecting a point and click miracle, but reality dictates that just like everything in life, you have to put some energy and work into something to make it happen.

    Note to self: get more coffee before I look at these forums again.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    "You straight people...?" Crap now I've got to reread all the posts to figure where that came from! Now I need more coffee lol:-)

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    A pro that asks for a first and last name and or to see an ID should be prepared to reciprocate. Also please never send a copy of your ID over the internet or let your pro make a copy of it. You are just begging for identity theft by doing that. It is also illegal for anyone to make a copy of your ID without your consent.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    @Sideon @OhioMike Ha ha... oh man, <3

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    First name Winnie, last name Pooh. I understand to keep my paws out of the honey pot. Oh bother.

  • laylanielaylanie

    @FunCartel lmao! Oh no!

  • WorthyWorthy

    I won’t meet with someone who doesn’t give first and last name, photo and where they work. Yes. I am going to cyberstalk you. I will need to see a legit looking FB page, work bio or similar before I would consider meeting with you.

  • LakersFanFLLakersFanFL

    Worthy-

    I see where you are coming from but I do keep my FB profile information private so only people that need to know can see it. I also don't post pictures with me in them and keep my friends list small. That way Facebook hackers are less inclined to hack because it is not worth it. Can also see the place of employment but wont give the exact location.

  • [Deleted User]Wesk (deleted user)

    Meet in person in a public place the first time if possible. If you must have a professional cuddliest meet you at your home be willing to fork over the kitchen sink if needed. Professionals don't have an easy job these days.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I require all forms of info to feed into IAFIS. DNA samples are optional but appreciated.

  • [Deleted User]Doc_Dante (deleted user)
    edited April 2019

    I wouldn’t trust a cuddler who asked for photo ID. A drivers license has enough information for her to commit identity theft or fraud. If you’re inclined to take the risk, ask the cuddler for a copy of her license too.

  • SideonSideon

    @Worthy , oh THAT isn't creepy at ALL:

    "Yes. I am going to cyberstalk you."

  • PennyLane2727PennyLane2727

    Part of me feels like clients should leave the same information they would with a massage therapist but I’m new to cuddle services and reading the comments it appears this isn’t the norm. Theres a real risk of women being SA’d unfortunately so I can understand them wanting to know basic info. At the same time, confidentiality should be a priority. I guess there is caution on both sides of the relationship. What someone else said above is good practise, meeting at a public place pre-cuddle. I personally live in a secured building if something were to happen to me. The people who volunteer more information make me feel much more comfortable with booking a session.

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds

    In many states here, massage therapists have to be licensed and have to provide proof of their licensing if asked. As a licensed professional, they're not allowed anonymity. Most people here, regardless if pro, client or enthusiast, don't give out their real or full name for security purposes.
    I totally agree with you that a public meeting is a good idea, but it's up to every person to set their own boundaries and stick to them. Those with the boundary must be willing to walk away when someone else pushes or refuses it, especially when, as you said, the SA risk is so real.

Sign In or Register to comment.