@IronLemon I don't even know what UHF is. Honestly, I heard it from one of my coworkers, we do janitorial work.
@BrianL It's a Weird Al movie. Very funny, if a bit dated in places.
@IronLemon Ah. I know of Weird Al, just never saw the movie.
What do you name a woman that burns all her bills?
Bernadette
I was waiting for the sun to rise at night but finally it dawned on me.
Where do you learn to make a banana split? Sundae School.
Why should you never fight a dinosaur.
Cause you'll get jurasskicked.
I'm now banned from the local park. It seems you're not allowed to line up squirrels and rabbits by height...that's "Critter-Sizing"
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny 😂
Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve bacteria here"
the bacteria say to the bartender "But we're the Staph !!"
What do you call a Christian porno magazine?
Repenthouse
Nurse: how’s the kid doing that swallowed all the coins?
Doctor said, “no change”
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! Buildings can’t jump, silly.
Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity?
It’s impossible to put down.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate. 😋
If Satan ever lost his hair, there would be hell toupée.
Why do Cows have hooves and not feet?
Because they lactose.
I've invented a thought controlled air freshener.
Makes scents when you think about it!
What do u call a guy with no arms or legs out in the ecean ?
BOB
What’s a gardener’s favorite crime show?
Lawn and order
Who does their best work when they’re under the weather?
Meteorologists!
What do you call chess players showing off in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What happened to the cow that jumped the fence?
Udder destruction
My Hawaiian HOA passed a noise ordinance so strict that I can’t even laugh out loud.
All I can do is a low ha.
@delicatesoul ouch, that one paints such a vivid mental picture. 😀
A colon can dramatically change the meaning of a sentence. Example: I ate Mary's sandwich.
I ate Mary's colon.
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