@pmvines @xandriarain
I'm curious as to the definition of the people included in this assertion. I've heard this term before but have yet to hear it used in a positive way that promotes any understanding. I really want to understand this.
If this walks too close to the edge I apologize.
@Dance_Culture Can't because it's political
We live in some amazing times, subsidized hate backed by individuals with power championed by those with influence. This creates the perfect climate for a repeat to the worst parts of our human history ..on steroids.
I'm begging those that think dividing us by assumption this way wins anything but more of the same, to take a long look at human history.
It doesn't matter who you are or who you're with, put this to rest now before we lose our humanity.
You cannot justify hate. It's all hate.
@Dance_Culture Sounds like you have a pretty good idea what it is.
It doesn't matter who you are or who you're with, put this to rest now before we lose our humanity. You cannot justify hate. It's all hate.
@Dance_Culture 100%.
Politics and Cuddles does not belong together! We cuddle for love, not hate.
I like to connect with people on a personal level. Why would I want to spend long periods of time in a close and intimate setting being vulnerable and laying all my trust and intentions on the table with someone who I wouldn't otherwise wish to spend time with on a personal one on one basis because what they support and celebrate in their heads and their hearts are so far removed from any semblance of what I consider to be moral and just and accepting? I would say that when finding a good cuddle friend it's impossible for politics to not be at least a partial factor. But we don't talk about such things here, no matter how woven it may be into the fibers of what makes us who we are. So at risk of punitive action to my account on the forums i have nothing more to say about the man in the big red hat
@Metfan84 Apparently the site admins approved the politically discriminating comment in her profile. if that is true, I would like to know why @Mark @netrunner @JoyfulHeart @cheeseboy @CharlieBear
i have nothing more to say about the man in the big red hat
Santa Claus? 'Tis the season!
I would say that when finding a good cuddle friend it's impossible for politics to not be at least a partial factor.
This is really strange to me. I don't see how they have to be intertwined in any way, shape, or form. There are a lot of things that people can leave at the door before they cuddle.
Cuddling is holding space for accepting each other as is. Warts and all. Maybe just my view. Apolitical and more like a hippie monk. I'd rather value the mountains and the trees than anything on a screen.
Now if Santa were running for office id totally get behind that shit. Medicare for all and to all a good night !
A certain “syndrome” is definitely very real. Crazy how grown up people can’t accept that and always fear the red boogeyman
Flagged. Political is still political even when it is veiled. There are venues all over the Internet where this topic can be freely discussed. Members are expected to avoid that topic here. -JoyfulHeart [Moderator]
@Huggycatbear some people are just more accepting than others. I'm with you, I don't see why it matters, either. I care who you are as a person. Certain things wouldn't even be a factor if you They weren't brought it up in the first place. We're all here for love and acceptance, giving and receiving, but some people just aren't ready to make that leap and join the party. When they're ready, we have these really cool party hats for them
I was accepting when the support was behind other folks from the other side of the table because we were essentially mostly all on the same team. The table belonged to all of us so we all had a seat. Not anymore. It's different now. To say otherwise is disingenuous. There is a line in the sand that wasn't created by me. It goes beyond simple political leanings into serious issues of morality and character, and respect for the rule of law. I'm already saying too much so mods if you have to remove this post for being political I understand .
@pmvines Being on the opposite side, I have to admit I feel just the same! And I will "self flag" just as you did
Okay, back to the thread topic. There are time wasters for sure on this site, I don't deny people's views on that.
But I suspect that there are other reasons why someone's profile might not draw in potential clients. For example I am flying to PA the week of Xmas to spend time with family. I was thinking about messaging her because she has a hiking package that sounds really cool! And something more specific to what I'd enjoy.
But when I read that line it was a red flag to me. I can't stand politics and what it has done to divide our society. So it gave me these pre-concieved notions, muddied up the water before even trying to schedule a meet.
I suspect that line among other ones may push away more people than those within that affiliation.
I hope this judgementalism doesn't affect the quality of care for patients who, in the fog of their twilight, may accidently let slip "what they support and celebrate in their heads and their hearts", if what they support crosses said line and, thus, is not considered moral or just.
Of course not @TxTom. My respect and gratitude for having the honor of serving my hospice patients and help them have a peaceful transition from life into the great unknown while.providing bereavement and grief services to their loved ones is priceless, and goes beyond anything that has to do with politics and it would be disgusting if that or any other personal feelings ever were a factor. This is about choosing who you wish to spend personal time and space with. Nowhere near the same ball of wax.
You really like to take an apple and try to make it into an orange I notice. I am not the one who you want to try to antagonize with those kinds of petty arguments and comparisons, it really just wouldn't be fair to you on an intellectual basis. So please don't conflate for the sake of trying to create a false comparison for a gotcha moment. Thanks
I take my job seriously and I can honestly say I truly hold my clients in positive regard and care for them deeply, I only want to work with clients whom I can show up for. So I would rather be honest and ruffle a few feathers upfront than to create an inauthentic and potentially uncomfortable experience for me and the client. I tend to be very conversational in sessions, I love to listen but I also share who I am with my clients. Being authentic and true to oneself are major values of mine that I model to my clients and everyone around me. I have been called offensive many times, but no one will say that I am untrustworthy.
Given that this thread is about time wasters, I would appreciate it if everyone would stop talking about me.
I’m not sure it is political to say that I have no interest in being anywhere near hate-filled people.
Granted, I am alone most of the time because of that.
Turns out that ego driven ignorance and fear driven aggression are essential human traits.
(I’ve certainly been guilty of them, and more than likely still am, even if I am too close to see it in myself in specifics.)
That's good. I wouldn't think you would.
This is too serious of a subject to be made petty by any "gotchas," but with some fairly severe judgment being cast about, it was a genuinely serious concern of mine.
I saw what happened with healthcare a few years ago if one had the "wrong" opinion about taking a shot.
@xandriarain
Could boundaries include topics as well? I respect that you want to be authentic and really appreciate that, but I think when there are cuddling boundaries to where we should and should not touch, or act upon--the same thing could go for conversation as well.
Would it be possibly better to say no taboo subjects will be talked about such as politics, religion, or etc. that might de-rail the intentions of a good cuddling session? This is just a suggestion to try to see if it would make your profile more appealing towards clients who have every intention of doing business with you, rather than the time wasters.
This judgementalism already affects quality of care for patients, even very young patients, sometimes resulting in them being at end of life.
This thread seems to have a few people who just like to be offended that other people have boundaries that don't include them. Reasons are ignored in favor of making spurious accusations of discrimination. I doubt any of the people complaining have ever actually been discriminated against.
I doubt any of the people complaining have ever actually been discriminated against.
Please don't assume. Your assumptions are not helpful.
@Huggycatbear
I'm just going by established patterns. The next part of this pattern is someone will talk about being discriminated against, but it will turn out to just be they were called out on their negative treatment of various groups of people.
However, if you do have something to say, please say it.
I think the difference in this type of "discrimination " is that it's an identity that is chosen. It isn't even really political, it's a willing connection to something that has proven to be what many may call discriminatory, argumentative, and hateful. At least based on associations. So if someone chooses to identify in a way someone feels uncomfortable with i think that's acceptable, whether it's a topic of discussion or not. There are many examples of this that some take offense to but in my opinion should not, because lifestyle seems to be something that others become offended by even if it's not dangerous to others. ( note i said lifestyle and that is not including anything that is not a chosen lifestyle and i am intentional in what im saying)
I've already said it. Twice, I noticed you've made assumptions in this very thread. I don't enjoy dehumanizing people into patterns.
Too many people on the internet are too lazy to get to know others without painting them with a broad stroke of a brush, or seeing them as one dimensional.
Then come the spinning of simple poetic narratives that fit an entire person's being into an easily digestable box.
@Huggycatbear Your complaints have been noted. Should anything I have said be factually incorrect, I will of course correct myself.
@xandriarain 🤓I would just like to point out that you missed a golden opportunity with word choices. You should have said:
Given that this thread is about time wasters, I would appreciate it if everyone would stop wasting their time talking about me.
If you want, feel free to copy and paste this 😄 (since it is under 24 hours ...... unless you are seeing this after 24 hours 😔).
Since I promised my inner self to only post music video responses... Here no a few about the positivity of wasting time. Since its all perspective anyway. And who can argue when a country song is stating not only something positive but also did not mention whiskey or a truck. Stay thirsty my friends
Oh boy, a lot to unpack here.
As for the thread topic, in my opinion a time waster is somebody who never had any intention of booking you and just wanted to chat. Would you ask this of your masseuse, your physical therapist, your dermatologist? Your batista? Your mail person? No. If you want a therapist to talk to, they charge hourly for that. As a pro on this site I'm open to chatting if my time is compensated. I don't have time to write you a very long, personalized paragraph after another very long personalized paragraph about how your day was and what's bothering you. If I am booked and my time is compensated, then, you are free to talk about whatever is on your mind within the boundaries of cuddle comfort.
I don't mind a few short messages back and forth to establish a connection but I'm uninterested in entertaining someone for days or even weeks via long messages. Especially if I've never had a session, virtual or physical with them. After we've had a session or two I'm open to longer conversations because I've deemed these clients safe and they respect my time and I respect theirs. In the end, this is a job for pros. That being said I'm genuinely friendly and do care for people and wish them well in life but please don't mistake my friendliness as me abandoning my pro status for you. Enthusiasts are a different story and if you want free therapy and a friend that's what you need to look for.
I like this monthly subscription/access to chat with me mentioned in this thread and might implement that on my profile. Again though, this is a job for pros here, we pay bills by using this site to find clients.
As for the quality in clients mentioned at the start of this thread this is absolutely a thing. I consider a high quality client to be someone who in their first message states their name, their available times, how many hours they're looking for and the city they live in and wish to host me in. A low quality client is someone whose first message to me is, "hey" then proceeds to respond to my questions with a few words. If I respond with "Hello! How are you? Are you looking for a session?" and they respond with, "yea" I'm less inclined to respond and I'm not going to spend 7 messages trying to pry more than two words out of someone to book them. Quality of the potential client is based on how much respect they show me in their first messages. I would say the same thing goes for pros. My profile states exactly what I need from a potential client, if you can't be bothered to read any of that, and message me (or any other pro) properly, I assume you didn't bother to read the site rules either and you are (in my eyes) looking for something non platonic and are deemed a low quality client. Rarely have I experience clients I originally deemed low quality actually turn around and message me accordingly. I've been here for a little over two years now and have seen a lot in my time. I'm going off what I've seen and how I've been interacted with.
The burden is in being.
-We choose time, -Then define that time.
That's it. No one is to blame.