Online rudeness + suprises poll

Mike102Mike102
in General

I’ve noticed that people tend to be much ruder on this site compared to how they act in person. Do you think this has to do with the anonymity the internet provides? It’s almost like people feel more free to say whatever they want when there are no real-life consequences.

Maybe it’s also because we don’t see the other person as “real.” Without face-to-face interaction, it’s easier to forget there’s a human being on the other side of the screen.

Or could it be that the internet reveals people’s true selves—what they’d say if social norms didn’t hold them back?

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this. Why do you think the internet brings out more rudeness in people?

Another possibility is that if everyone is being rude to me, I am the common denominator and at fault. I'm not sure if this is the case because the same rude people tend to exhibit this behavior towards most other people as well. But I'm also not so good at social cue's , so its possible I am offended these people. So I thought I should just ask if I'm the problem and should leave this site. Please vote, it is anonymous.

  1. Should I leave this site ?74 votes
    1. Yes
      56.76%
    2. No
      43.24%
«1

Comments

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    I haven’t experienced rudeness on this site. Can you give an example? What kind of things are you saying that seems to result in a “rude” response?

  • TxTomTxTom

    Don't leave.
    And don't take comments personally.

  • JubalJubal

    It's not just this site. Facebook, Twitter, Reddit etc all allow people to be much more rude and vicious to others than they would be in person. Anonymity gives many people a huge courage boost.

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    Have you personally met everyone on this site?

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    It's one of those things where if you have to ask the answer probably is yes. Because you have to ask.

  • HappyHikesHappyHikes

    ^
    This 100%

  • Mike102Mike102

    @warm_embrace I would say its rude to call someone stupid or ridiculous. Or using inappropriate language. Just anything you wouldn't say to irl.

  • [Deleted User]justwanthugs (deleted user)

    There are some rude people on the chat, which is why I basically avoid it now. However, everyone I’ve met in person from here has been wonderful.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Try not to take it personally.

    We are all just confused murder monkeys.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Yes, sadly people are not so nice online, especially when they do not have a name/photo associated with their profile. Though this is nothing new.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    There is a certain site that I unfortunately have to visit from time to time when reports come in and I saw this gem posted about me:

    "I know for a fact that one of the main mods, CharlieBear, has a lot of anxiety issues. If everyone just bombards him using fake accounts, go after him, he will quit. Another one is [removed]. Take him down. I'm not sure the rest are even active. It's such a small group, they don't get paid, it would be so easy to make their lives a living hell until they all just quit. Then, the site would be worthwhile again.”

    Posted by someone here 😔 As a mod I (we) come across a fair number of convos like this, and much worse in the appeal messages of members we ban (my goodness…) and it’s very, very depressing. I used to be such a happy person on these forums.

  • Mike102Mike102

    @CharlieBear that's crazy. I cant imagine that someone would spend so much time and energy just harass you. If it makes you feel any better, I think most people are nice and friendly, but since you are a mod you deal with the rude people mostly.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    @CharlieBear 🫂🫂🫂

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    . So I thought I should just ask if I'm the problem and should leave this site.

    @Mike102 i did not vote because any member has to decide this based on their expectations of the site. My expectations are set to low so I continue

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace
    edited December 2024

    @Mike102, ahh I see. You’re referring to “rudeness” in the form of responses to forum posts. I think that just goes with the territory when posting contentious comments on the internet. Not every opinion needs to be expressed imho.

    For example, I noticed in another thread that you called men who cuddle “attractive” women “creepy”. That could be taken as inflammatory by some and you shouldn’t be surprised if others respond to you accordingly. I wouldn’t consider that “rude”. It’s just giving back what you’re putting out.

    Edited typos

  • Mike102Mike102

    @warm_embrace that's true you need to look at the context always.
    But I think there is a difference between pointing out bad behavior in general and being rude to someone you dislike.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    I think the op is getting back what he's putting out. I've noticed some threads that he started that have ended up derailed & locked. I've personally thought they were occasionally inflammatory and others have responded as such.

  • ChrissyNoirChrissyNoir

    It’s nothing personal . If you take everyone’s actions and let it bother you .. you on the wrong planet 🌍

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I also did not vote. I don't know you, or why you joined, or what (if anything) you may have gotten out of the site. I can't make a decision like this for someone else. Only you know if you are getting more negative than positive from this place, but I can say I have never been anywhere on the Internet where people aren't rude. They are hiding safely behind their screens. CC is no better or worse.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Sometimes people assume that they are being attacked because they don't like the response given or it doesn't line up with their way of thinking. We can't always control the responses people give and we may not always like what they say or how they say it but that doesn't necessarily mean they are being rude. I think if you're seeing things in that frame then you might want to ask yourself if it is your own personal feelings getting involved that might be skewing your interpretation of it. Often times things get perceived based on our own personal biases, and are not always a reflection of the other persons intentions.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Auroradream
    Yup , I do get some Steve Urkel "did I do that" vibes. Not me being rude, just reflecting on what I see...

  • JubalJubal

    I would say its rude to call someone stupid or ridiculous

    @Mike102 I draw a big distinction between calling someone stupid as opposed to saying that the person's statement, words, or ideas are stupid. Don't know if such a difference matters to you, but it's huge to me - the former is unspeakably rude, and the latter is just disagreement.

  • SolarisSolaris

    There are a handful of people here who just want to fight. I find it's worse elsewhere though.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited December 2024

    Something I will say is that threads like this do tend to make me a little more self aware of my own actions and how I come across, as I realize that I can fall into the rude or fighting category sometimes.

  • Mike102Mike102

    @pmvines why do you think that is ? Is it because being online you are behind a screen? Would you be rude to me in person?

  • SolarisSolaris

    @pmvines
    Me too.

    I have an urge to fight. I feel I mostly keep it in check lately, though that wasn't the case when i joined here. I wanted to fight someone last night, but I tried to keep it civil. And I mostly did, but even then, looking back, I could have done better.

    Mostly though, I find it's not really worth talking online on a general forum.

  • TxTomTxTom

    I don't post comments that I wouldn't say to someone in person.

    The only problem is, as everyone knows, is that a forum post can be misconstrued without the context of vocal inflection, tone, facial expression, body language, etc.

  • gingerrootgingerroot

    @billiam Haven't been here long, but I've noticed the "like to fight" thing. Couple that with the superiority and passive- aggressive vibes off of some folks, and I can see why a lot of people would feel unwanted

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    " I would say its rude to call someone stupid or ridiculous. Or using inappropriate language. "

    I do that on a daily basis IRL including at my corporate job.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    Still not loving this “Murder Monkey” phrasing.

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