The best defense against a larger, stronger, ruthless, and aggressive attacker is to not be there.
The next best defense is using a weapon.
And, if you going to a cuddle session armed, then you already know you shouldn’t be there.
Because, the only defense that works is to not be there.
@Sooson I get that you don't like this topic, but stop victim-blaming.
@starrynitecuds Omg well I was counting on a level of education that apparently no longer exists.
My GS said his IB school no longer has science class because they claim to not be able to afford the teachers. I’m concerned.
Yeah, they've been dumbing down Americans by attacking public schools for decades now.
@IronLemon It won’t get better I’m afraid.
Also, because these creeps have entire forums where they strategize about grooming providers over multiple sessions, they learn how to push boundaries slowly, testing the waters to see what they can get away with by building trust over time. This calculated manipulation makes it even more crucial for providers to recognize these individuals early on and understand that their intentions are far from innocent. Providers need to be aware that these tactics exist so they can protect themselves, set firm boundaries, and never feel the need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. It’s not just about protecting their business—it’s about safeguarding their well-being and maintaining the integrity of the space they create for clients.
When I was younger, I used to respond to this sort of boundary-crossing (groping)in a very passive way, often avoiding confrontation. But through my experience in cuddling, I’ve learned how crucial it is to be direct and firmly say no. Setting clear, strong boundaries isn’t just necessary—it’s empowering and protects both my well-being and the integrity of my work.
This thread went from asking a question about individual habits and intentions of cuddlers, to focusing on a hypothetical problem of people legitimately FORCING themselves onto other cuddlers. If that does happen, banning from this site should be the least of their punishments.
As yourself why so many women have been banned on the site and you might find your answer
@skamander19 The experiences being related here don't sound hypothetical.
@skamander19 It's the furthest thing from hypothetical. I've heard a lot worse than is being discussed here from pros I know.
@BrionC Well, I have seen women banned for trying to charge when they weren't a pro. I have seen women banned for mouthing off at mods. I have seen women banned because they weren't women, they were men using fake accounts to harass others. Not helping with my answer.
Anyone can google a word, there's no reason for a grown ass adult to say they don't know what platonic means 🙄
@skamander19 agree banning is not enough to stop them from coming back. The will to engage in predatory behavior is stronger than the inconvenience of making another profile. Its truly disgusting. The point I want to bring up, is that there is nothing protecting pros outside of this virtual space.
Even sister Skinny knows what platonic means. Butchy tried to pull a fast one and got swatted so fast your had would spin
I have through screening, I used to ask cuddlers to define platonic…many acted confused or offended. I took out the question…but i do want to understand why asking someone a basic question like that should be offensive at all. And if it is, i feel like its a red flag?
For those keeping score, there's now been at least 2 whatabouts and an outright denial. This also is part of the problem.
Also, i think another issue is proof. Many people on here pretend to be platonic but will not admit it, and if they do its verbal conversation rather than text. Theres almost no way to account for that
Anyway, i think there should be a screening to join the site, video chat and everything. Its the only way to stop predatory behavior, because then they can’t pretend to be someone else by just making another account.
I am on record being critical of both sides and calling out both sides as both sides are corrupt. and anyone who has been here long enough knows that despite continuing to pretend it isn't the case.
I am being labeled "victim blamer" by people who selectively read my posts and just looking for an opportunity to take a jab at me.
The platform is being soft on people on both sides. issuing warnings instead of banning boundary pushers, and on the other hand editing profiles of pros to remove any evidence or hints of more being offered. Yet you wont find one post from these people where they are challenging the platform.
@Sooson what is “both sides” who is on each side?
For those keeping score, the original question was not addressing any “problem”, it asked a question about individual intentions. You all have hijacked the thread to make it about a problem. And what I meant when I said that “banning should be the least of their punishment”, is that there are criminal punishments as well obviously if a faulted cuddler so desires.
Cleanliness doesn’t affect where roaches choose to populate…a food source does…something to keep in mind about screening and ids.
I will add, how does any man get to an adult age thinking that women being sexually assaulted is a hypothetical concept and not reality? And boys/men are also sexually assaulted.
@theCuddleDrgn Pro Cuddler on one hand and those who seek them on the other hand.
And yes, I am aware the thread was opened by an enthusiast but the above applies to enthusiasts as well since you have to assume 99% of contact on the platform is initiated by men.
@skamander19 i think this is a really good thread, on a side note i feel like the question of intention was answered. Some people really get satisfaction from pressure and coercion which is why they try here than to just go on a dating site. Also, being cheap is another motive. But this conversation has become discussing that the predatory behavior is a problem, because that’s really where someones intent lies sometimes for doing these kinds of things.
For those keeping score, the original question was not addressing any “problem”, it asked a question about individual intentions. You all have hijacked the thread to make it about a problem.
Your comment is blatantly baiting others. See you in a few days [netrunner]
@Sooson You're right, I was selectively reading what you wrote in this thread, not what you may have written in some other thread that is not this thread. Forgive me for judging you by your words.
@Sooson wait nvm! I mean, the thread title does say clients, so I would think this is a directed discussion about interactions between pros and potential clients??? Not just enthusiasts?
@Sooson it was when I first started and I lived in a different state, it was not this site, there was no reporting. He never went past pushing boundaries with me and ultimately when I would say no he would listen. I talked to him like he was one of my nanny kids and it was a game to him. I needed the money and he was 81 years old and honestly I didn’t feel threatened. But I asked him about it. And that was his response. He was a charming old man that had a lot of insight in a lot of things. But was always trying to do more.
@theCuddleDrgn Someone actually already questioned OP using the term CLIENT considering OP is an enthusiast. OP was not terribly clear about it so here we are discussing both
@brownglucose wow I am not surprised to hear that since there are sites out there with worse things being discussed and traded. How do you know about these forums discussing this?