@wilderdude I don't think it's the majority by any means, but I have talked to pros in the past for whom this was their main source of income. It seemed to be people who had spouses/partners so they weren't having to pay all the bills themselves.
@theCuddleDrgn I completely agree with you on the subject of criminal penalties for people who commit sexual assault. Unfortunately, the way our justice system is, a female pro who tells a cop, "Yes, he paid me to get into bed with me, but it was supposed to be platonic and then ..." is probably not going to be taken seriously. Cuddling as a profession is not at all well known and police will probably think the pro is a sex worker.
Yes, he paid me to get into bed with me, but it was supposed to be platonic and then ..." is probably not going to be taken seriously
@WriterGF that’s an interesting point…what if no money was exchanged would the claim be anymore credible?
Cuddling as a profession is not at all well known and police will probably think the pro is a sex worker.
Another interesting point my guess is that most who do this don’t talk about it publicly. Imagine being on a cruise ship at dinner where the seating is formal with other couples sitting together with you and the topic of employment comes up because it always does
Ok. Your post about “whataboutism” was directly after mine, and I find it ambiguous as to its reference, nor was it tagged. “Hypothetical” may have been a poor choice of word. Something more accurate to my intent would be “tangential”. I’m not saying predatory behavior is generally unimportant, but I believed the level of focus on it was ancillary to answering the question.
@skamander19 but wouldn’t you say predatory behavior is connected to trying to solicit/pressure a service that wasn’t supposed to be offered? It answers the question but its also linked? Why is it wrong for a conversation to unravel into the depths of that intention, especially since its related regardless. This is just a conversation, not cross examination. We should be allowed to freely discuss things, especially if it’s harmful. I also think trying to go non-platonic on a site that is platonic is ruining the ability for people looking for general connection without complications of sx. Regardless if it’s an enthusiast or not. When boundaries become unclear people get hurt. I mean if you think about it, i think this site would have more enthusiasts if people were honest and consistent admit their intentions.
This is all fairly simple. People need to be comfortable with SAYING the word “NO” as opposed to hearing it when it comes to defending personal boundaries. Why? Because most people who want more than what is on the brochure are looking for permission. A verbally communicated “NO” sets those limits in stone and that is all that is needed to ensure no further tension or contract. People who don’t understand someone else’s desires tend to be self conscious and a little too diplomatic. That just blurs the lines makes things more difficult.
Take comfort that a “NO” preserves the status quo. It doesn’t change anyone circumstances because you are in the same place physically prior to the session and in it’s first few moments. Those people who want more than what is on the brochure haven’t lost a thing by hearing a no. You don’t have to worry about them and you certainly don’t have to worry about figuring out their motives. The important thing is to maintain your own principles and dignity.
@skamander19 I apologize for the confusion, and thank you for the clarifications. Replying on the forums can be tricky during an active conversation. I should have tagged and/or quoted.
@pmvines my lunch buddies weren't allowed to look up the definition. Those who were wrong didn't believe/know they were wrong, so why would they bother to look it up? Interesting, when I explained platonic, not a single one argued. I didn't show them this site. LOL I know my audience.
Funny how it was mentioned that people might be worried about breaking the law by hiring a SW. I'm pretty sure that forcing themselves onto somebody unwilling is illegal as well.
Double-edged sword. It's not illegal to hire someone to be a paid cuddler, since it's not sex work. But good luck finding a cop who will believe that the cuddler is not a sex worker. They already tend to ignore women who report rape as it is.
@Mike403 im sure these are more than likely 2 different types of people. I also don't think they are worried they are breaking the law because the know they are, they can just have some deniability when breaking the law. You can claim you didn't pay for sex because the connection was on a platonic website, it's a little harder to say you didn't do something the other party says you did SA is just something i hope most people would steer clear of. That's why I'd be scared to get involved in that so the claim couldn't be made, my safety.
@skamander19 cc: @g_w_t_w Ah ok. So the site is not a dating site/hookup site/anything-non-platonic site. If people (enthusiasts/clients/pros) meet here, the expectation from any cuddles arranged on the site or off the site with members of this site are going to be platonic. And yes here platonic means nothing sexual. Now in the case of enthusiasts, if after they cuddle from meeting on the site and they then go off and do whatever it is they want to do, that is not any of the site's concern. It's now two adults living their lives. HOWEVER, if someone pushes boundaries or anything beyond that from the cuddle they initially arranged here, report them! Even if multiple cuddles down the line something non-consensual happens, please let us know so we can make note of it. That person may be booking others here and it's worth it to know in case any other reports of misconduct come in. As for pros, they should be booking every session on the site and none of those sessions should ever be non-platonic. Even if rules are broken and the booking is not on the site, PLEASE REPORT. Whenever I am investigating misconduct, I do not want anyone to ever feel like they have to stay silent because they booked off-site. I'd much rather give a verbal warning/reminder to keep bookings on-site than someone keep quiet so that other person can take advantage of someone else.
The platform is being soft on people on both sides. issuing warnings instead of banning boundary pushers, and on the other hand editing profiles of pros to remove any evidence or hints of more being offered. Yet you wont find one post from these people where they are challenging the platform.
@Sooson We issue a warning when we don't have evidence. Those warnings stack and bans happen. It depends on the quality of the reports. I will ask about a pro or client and get multiple accounts of misconduct and prefer that route to ban instead. As for non-platonic profiles, it depends on the profile. Unless it's very obvious they are here for sex work, we edit the profile and give them a non-platonic warning. Now we have a warning on file so if they do it again, they already had their second chance and off the site they go.
I didn’t read every comment so forgive me if I’m saying something that’s been said already. The focus to me always seems to be on clients who push boundaries but let’s remember that this site is unfortunately inundated with sex workers. There’s a problem on both sides. I personally think the mods do a good job of listening to the hall monitors and banning many of the sex workers but they still exist.
I wrote 10 paragraphs. But then said why? (Cut it down to 5) Let clients be playful and full of energy. (Dictionary) Or if they are older and on a budget. Let them eat what they can afford while cuddling on SSI. Im still trying to find sex workers and rapist as the definition to frisky.
The OP said a person was frisky and cant deal with rejection and should probably be on farmingmates dot com.
How did this thread get so out of control? I was inspired when a thread like this came out awhile ago and somebody said they marrried the person they use to cuddle. The uninspired when somebody said that their wife left them for another cuddler.
Did anybody know in one dictionary frisky was defined as being gay? Did you know gay is also defined as happy? I learned that on the google machine.
@WriterGF yeah, that sounds like a side gig where their spouse is main provider
@theCuddleDrgn Predatory behavior is connected, but before I said anything everyone was completely focused on that as if immoral behavior is the only explanation for it. It’s why I genuinely thanked you for using qualifying words. Again, I’m not convinced that the question was bounded to professional cuddling services. I never said that it is “wrong” to “unravel” the thread (your word), that is your right as a poster. Just like it is my right as a poster to point out that the “conversation” has been completely hijacked from the primary purpose of the thread to answer a personal question with possibly infinite answers, with predatory behavior being only one of them. We all are allowed to “freely discuss things”, nothing I ever post as a peer poster could ever change that. Again, I understand people should not be seeking anything non-platonic “on-site”, as demanded by the proprietor. I completely agree that the general EXPECTATION is platonic. I agree, complete honesty and directness with intentions is always best. But I understand why CC as a business wouldn’t want to open up possible liability with that can of worms.
Only the (OP) can authoritatively clarify the primary intent of the initial question. Since neither of us is the OP, we should respond earnestly. If your personal experiences relate to the prompt, please share them. Instead of discouraging others from sharing their experiences because discussions about predators don’t seem relevant to you, contribute your perspective to enrich the conversation.
Anyways, some clients are “ frisky” on Cc as opposed to other sites, because for them coercion is a fetish, and traditional escort sites won’t easily fulfill that fetish.
@brownglucose hit the nail on the head
Again, I never discouraged anyone from posting. I made the observation that the thread is not on topic anymore. It’s self explanatory that the purpose of a question is to get an answer for that question. And I did contribute, several times. You are free to read them.
@brownglucose withdrawn
Some other comments from the degen client forums that explains this mentality. I tried to find the tamest of the bunch, it’s all pretty vile.
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@ReltvlyCanshes I guarantee you she ran into plenty of posts there that will validate your concerns, but of course she will cherry pick.
and if she keeps struggling finding them, others may jump in to offer assistance. so lets not even go there @brownglucose
@CharlieBear
Yeah, I'm just going to leave it alone because it seems that it won't get acknowledged no matter how i say it. The things is it's only a concern for others safety because it really doesn't affect me too much. I just happen to really be concerned for others rather than just argue in the comments.
@txhoneybee i didn’t have to look very hard on the search engines to find these threads. I did find more discussion of illegal stuff but I would never post any overtly explicit screenshots on cc. I only posted content that I felt directly impacts pros such as myself , who come here to give touch therapy and still get approached by creeeps.
my focus is solely on answering the ops question and perhaps exploring how we can make cuddle therapy safer for those who come here because they genuinely enjoy and benefit from platonic touch therapy. Derailment will not be engaged.
Well let's not ignore behaviors that make things unsafe. The OP was confused why some behaved a certain way in a platonic website. Let's be honest about why some come to a platonic website and get frisky. But I've mentioned it before in this thread and many others, it's clear some aren't really interested in addressing it and that's ok. Be safe yall.
They think someone agreeing to cuddle means that person wants to have sex with them. They have not had success on dating apps so find it easier to hire a pro and try to push boundaries. They are very cheap and do not wish to pay for an escort. They are worried about breaking the law by hiring an escort so they look here to find someone to force themselves on to. They have found escorts masquerading as pros and now think that is what all pros offer. They enjoy preying on people by pushing boundaries where they assume the person will give less resistance. They are outright dangerous and are looking to harm someone just for the thrill of it. They think they are on a mission from whatever deity they worship to eradicate the world of what they believe to be wicked, completely ignoring how disgusting their own behavior is.
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I agree with ALL OF THESE answers! @CharlieBear 😁😁😁
It confuses me why someone would expose themselves to rejection by pursuing someone here when they could be on the same page from the start with someone from another site.
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@ohcocoadream Lol! It confuses me too, hence why I tend to reject a lot of those who are OBVIOUS members of "the creepy Dudebro committee" that slithers into my inbox from time to time.😆