AITA CC edition

[Deleted User]SweetlyBlissful (deleted user)
in General

Hey all. I had a bit of an interesting situation happen yesterday, and would love others’ feedback. I responded to a person I wasn’t interested in cuddling with a no thank you kind of message and wished him luck with his search. He responded back with “I don’t need luck, there are plenty of other cuddlers who are genuine and have booked two appointments already. You shouldn’t have wasted your time with that message.”

I am a bit taken aback, as I would have thought it rude to not reply to the message, but his response feels…icky somehow. How do you respond to people who aren’t a good cuddle fit?

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Comments

  • Mike403Mike403

    You dont need to reply to an initial message at all. It's not rude and not considered ghosting if you haven't communicated before. They should get the hint that no response means not interested.

  • pmvinespmvines

    It's a butt hurt response from a butt hurt dude who lacks insight, self awareness, emotional regulation abilities, and manners. He is mad that you aren't interested and lashing out, trying to make you think there's something wrong with you for not wanting to spend time with him. He will likely be creating a thread sometime after the New Year about how nobody wants to cuddle with him and find some way to blame it on the pros, despite being a total douche canoe.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Just say shut your effing face uncle effer and leave it at that

  • Backscratch75Backscratch75

    I find it easier on here if I say no thank you and then block. Online no for some people means rejection and it’s crazy.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    He'll also be creating a thread on how rude it is that no one ever responds to him.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Why would anyone want an inbox full of "No Thank You"s? They need to just focus on talking to those who are interested.

  • [Deleted User]SweetlyBlissful (deleted user)

    I mean, they could delete the No thank you. In my mind my No thank you should have ended the conversation leaving him free to move on. I think the No thank you, block is how I will proceed going forward. Thank you all!

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @SweetlyBlissful It's called "engage and enrage" by security experts. It's the reason some cuddlers block others for no other reason than that they aren't interested in meeting them. Any response, no matter how polite and considerate, can set someone off.

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    And yet, he wasted time with his message response.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    It's also reminiscent of an incel tactic known as "negging". He suggests that someone just isn't good enough to try to manipulate her into proving that she is. He takes it bit by bit until she feels obligated to have sex with him in order to prove her worth.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @SweetlyBlissful
    FWIW - I think you did the right thing by responding with a polite “no thank you” and wishing him luck (kind of a “no hard feelings” vibe to your message).

    His response is completely out of line and I agree with your assessment of it being “icky”. I would recommend blocking him then doing your best to forget the whole incident (I know, that is MUCH easier to say than to do).

    If you need a “pick me up” to bring a smile to your face just remember whenever you look in the mirror you get to see a good, kind person while every time he looks in the mirror he has a rude, bitter person looking back at him.

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited December 2024

    @SweetlyBlissful NTA. Short answer.

    I think your choice to respond was kind but not necessary. The positive is that he confirmed that he’s not what you’re looking for in your profile.

    Whether you choose to keep responding or not is purely your choice. I wouldn’t worry about the ones who respond negatively; they don’t matter. The ones that respond kindly? Maybe they’ll matter in the future.

    Good luck with your cuddles!

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    You responded perfectly. There is no reason for you to feel you should have done anything differently. It was pretty rude and be thankful you learned from this and don't connect with him. I wonder if you could leave him Karma with a screenshot of you conversation. Could help a lot of people. HITA

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Yeah, turns out that men can attempt that negative, push/pull, trick too.

    But it rarely works because we are TRULY clumsy with it, and no one wants a man anyway, so that definitely adds to the degree of difficulty on the CHR check.

    Especially when she is resisting with her CHR, which tends to be much higher. Like a 7 vs 14 kind of situation.

    Roll high! Good luck!

  • TD1964RGKTD1964RGK

    Personally, I would have appreciated your no thank you reply. Of course we are all different. Again, personally, I find the response you received to be rude and spiteful. In my view it confirms that you made a good decision in the first place. Block and move on is what I’d do if in your place. I’m trying not to give any energy to those who do not merit any. 🙂 HNY!

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    @SweetlyBlissful you responded exactly as any decent person would.

    Clearly the other person is unable to take rejection well. This is why I love the cuddle party welcome circle so much- there is time spent not only learning to say “no” but on how to receive “no” when it comes your way. If I had received the “no thank you” from you, the response you would have gotten back would be “thank you for taking care of yourself.”

  • KatotaKatota
    edited December 2024

    He responded back with “I don’t need luck, there are plenty of other cuddlers who are genuine and have booked two appointments already. You shouldn’t have wasted your time with that message.”

    Smh

    ☝️😌

    This is why I MOSTLY DELETE (without responding back to) certain messages in my inbox. At least Dude didn't insult you by calling you a "fat, ugly b🤬ch" so there's a slight positive here.😁👍

  • KatotaKatota

    And yet, he wasted time with his message response.

    👏👏👏👏

    @Vocalist100 HA! 😆

  • KatotaKatota

    He'll also be creating a thread on how rude it is that no one ever responds to him.

    😆😆😆

    @IronLemon Of course he will...😆

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    At least Dude didn't insult you by calling you a "fat, ugly b🤬ch"

    Gotta love it.

    Incel: Your so hot, lets have sex.
    Sane girl: Go away, creep.
    Incel: Your ugly, no one will ever want to have sex with you.

    (typos are deliberate)

  • BearBear

    @SweetlyBlissful

    NTA. Your responded, as well as with kindness. You received vitriol. You did nothing wrong, except in his mind.

    @pmvines has a great answer. Love it.

    @Backscratch75
    Has the perfect reply from now on.

  • Calming_HugsCalming_Hugs

    Seeing one person 'rejecting' as a gift to themselves that you respect and appreciate, and an opportunity for yourself to move on to other people who will match your own energy, is very liberating.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited December 2024

    @SweetlyBlissful Over here bases on other experiences I've heard of and read about in the forum. I would say no response is a better approach than a "no thank you"

    Also keep in mind that the system does not allow you to block more than 200 mental midgets. (Some here have actually hit that cap lol this is how we know in case you wonder)

    Happy New Year.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    NTA. Not at all.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    I appreciate a response a 100 times more than silence.

    I love communication and closure.

    That is the respect you gave to him. He gave you no respect in return.

    He's not at your level.

  • VitaminJVitaminJ

    @SweetlyBlissful what @RadiantHugs said. After getting that response from him I would be saying “bullet dodged” under my breath. If someone can’t hold it together to be kind in a text message imagine an in person cuddle. People reveal so much

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    1. He should have been thankful for your response.

    2. You're an enthusiast and not a pro, so there's no such thing as "booking an appointment."

  • KatotaKatota
    edited December 2024

    Gotta love it.

    Incel: Your so hot, lets have sex.
    Sane girl: Go away, creep.
    Incel: Your ugly, no one will ever want to have sex with you.

    @IronLemon Bingo! 😁 👍

    That was pretty much my entire dating site experience, no reason to rejoin ANY of them now.😏

  • Erin_Elle_Erin_Elle_

    Why would anyone want an inbox full of "No Thank You"s? They need to just focus on talking to those who are interested.

    @Mike403

    👆 Yes. This resonates.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @Sooson wait- what … only 200? Does that reset every year or something? I don’t block many people but I think about it often … and sometimes do it temporarily to give myself a forced break from someone. Like if if they say a thing that really upsets me, even if just for a bit. 200 doesn’t seem like a lot for anyone that’s been here for a few years or more

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