Holiday Regret?

SquishyJackieSquishyJackie
in General

First off, I apologize if this is redundant but I searched for "ghosting" and "blocking" in the forums and didn't see anything that would help.

Obviously the holidays can be a difficult time of year for people, for many reasons. As a female enthusiast I receive a lot of cuddle requests in general but definitely more around the holidays. With my own hectic schedule, I chose a few to keep in contact with and told the rest I wouldn't be available to chat until after the new year.

The first guy lives nearby and we agreed on a short-notice session and then he was a no show.

The 2nd guy & I had great, naturally flowing conversation and it seemed we were both looking forward to a session, but could never make our schedules match. We said we would try again after the new year when things weren't so hectic, but now I see that he has blocked me.

The 3rd was nervous and socially awkward but we had a game plan set in place that he felt would make him the most comfortable. We had a specific weekend planned but not a specific day. I reached out & he apologized saying he was very sick, so I understood. I've sent a message or two since, checking up & seeing if he'd like to reschedule, and got nothing but crickets.

Does anyone else notice a rise in holiday requests followed by post-New Year's remorse? Am I just over-analyzing? The guy who blocked me is the most perplexing. If you're not interested in getting together anymore, why not just say that?

A while back an excited cuddler went on a hunting trip....and then disappeared. After a while i reached out & he said he'd begun dating someone and was no longer interested in cuddling. I told him I was very happy for him & thanks for letting me know. This seems like the appropriate way for both parties to handle the situation.

Thoughts?

Comments

  • JackNJJackNJ
    edited January 2025

    I think it’s perfectly fine. I wish more people were mature enough to say that they just aren’t feeling it or they found someone else. I have had people on this site seem so into it and then they ghost you, block you, or like you said nothing but crickets I tend to come and go on this site. I think people tend to disappear from the site because it’s not working as quickly as they would like it to or they feel like they want a cuddle partner, and may be for some who have never done it before they are afraid. It seems like when I disappear if it be for days or weeks at a time that’s when I get messages from people that seem like they’re really interested in getting to know me and then when I respond, I either don’t hear from them as I’m thinking that they don’t like that I took so long to respond and maybe think I wasn’t into it or they have disappeared from the site themselves.

  • CuddlesComfort8CuddlesComfort8

    Sorry to hear this is happening to you.

    I feel this hard. I had a 3-hr session scheduled for yesterday. Had been talking with the person for almost 3 weeks before the session, and communication was constant. The day of the session: crickets. He never sent the address of where we were going to meet (was supposed to be sent the day of, since I was going to him). I’m not sure what happened, but I had to cancel the session myself and make a note 30 minutes into what should have been our session that it never occurred…

    A lot of people have been saying they want to book a session and then don’t. I’m chalking part of it up to finances for folks (since I’m a pro). But it’s crazy to see this happening to an enthusiast, especially since I see a lot of people saying how they can’t find enthusiasts to cuddle…and yet, here you are.

  • xandriarainxandriarain
    edited January 2025

    I haven’t noticed this occurring specifically incongruence with the holidays but last month, I did make more of an effort to log on every day and reach out to visitors to try to get more bookings and often times people will say that they will get back to me and never do. So I think the lack of follow through is a common occurrence here.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    It’s a different feeling now that I’m an Enthusiast.
    I will feel I’m ready to finalize a plan to actually meet and then I find myself having second thoughts, not wanting to go through with it. Feelings of anxiety about it become stronger than the actual need for a cuddle.
    But I was never like this as a Pro.
    What men write here, in the forum, has had a negative effect on my desire to cuddle honestly. “If that’s how they feel, 😟”

    But I would not ghost, I would hate for someone to do that to me (fortunately, I haven’t really had that happen).
    I’m too considerate or empathetic and I wouldn’t want to hurt someone.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @SquishyJackie
    I believe what you're describing is just a symptom of the Me! Me! Me! Now! Now! Now! mindset that is pervasive in our culture these days.

    Far too many people are completely self-absorbed, and aren't concerned with basic good manners or common courtesy. Especially online, where establishing contact with someone requires little to no effort. As a result, many folks will take little to no effort to properly conclude such contact. This is why ghosting and blocking is so common.

    The trick is to not take it personally. I take all online interaction with a grain of salt. I don't put any stock in it until I meet the person in real life, face-to-face. Only then do they become a genuine, flesh-and-blood human being to me. But until that moment, they're just a faceless profile, so their actions aren't going to upset me.

    It's too bad things are like that. But the internet ushered In an age of instant gratification, so people aren't as invested in each other as they used to be.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited January 2025

    he said he'd begun dating someone and was no longer interested in cuddling.

    😄😄😄😄

    Lol! I have had that happened to me a few times after checking up on Cuddle buddies.😁😆😁😄

    I would turn it into a joke sometimes:

    "Wanna a girlfriend? Come cuddle with Katota!"

    "One hug from Katota, and the ladies will definitely wanna 'put a ring 💍 on it'! "

    Lol 😆😆😆

    I swear the next cuddler that says to me, (after reaching out to them AFTER cuddling) "I gotta girlfriend now!" Lol

    My response to that info will be:

    "Glad I could help!"
    👍👍👍👍

    Or "My cuddle magic made you irresistible to the ladies, huh? You're welcome!"
    😆😆😆😆

  • graceangelgraceangel

    @SquishyJackie i've actually only recently reactivated my account here maybe a few weeks ago.
    in this time, I've had a few handfuls of people kept chatting me up almost nonstop for a few days. then a block. or they ask me to call and text. and then will do it. I was totally not taking into account that it was just the holidays, and they were maybe just killing time.
    I'm really glad this thread is here. Sometimes my bpd feeds me stories about how things feel in the moment. Seeing other people experience this as well kind of dispels that and reminds me to go do my meditations.

    also, after reading some of these; do some people like to have an ... enthusiast who doesn't cuddle other people? idk. that kinda feels like dating if it's exclusive. does that question belong in a different thread?

    Sometimes, I also think some of it could just be me being older. I'm almost 50 now. I really still have a lot of Genx values and not really evolving with the tiktok/twitter heavy crowd. I also worry sometimes it's just that like... I've been work from home ever since the pandemics started; in these years while WFH; i've lost or forgotten how to socialize properly or relate to people. i spend so much time alone.

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