Do you ever dislike what you see in the mirror when you look at yourself?

dennis22554dennis22554
in General

I have some CC friends dealing with self esteem issues centered on acceptance. When they look in the mirror it seems they judge the reflection rather harshly. In my opinion they seem totally focused on finding imperfections with them selves
clients will com instead of the inner/outer beauty e withbtime. and enlightened ones truly see. I an no fashion expert or beauty queen, nevertheless..I would like to offer advice! Stop worrying about trival things like (i.e wart on your nose.etc). There of plenty of men on CC that would cuddle a wart hog as long as she had a plesant personality. When you look in the mirror..spend your time focusing on at least 5 positive things a day! I know the competiontion for clients is tough but with patience..genuineness and a plesant personality your chatching a few will increase with time and if it doesn't..never do anything. self degrading just to win acceptance. Lastly..if you do look at the mirror in the morning you may want to take the time to make sure your shirt is not on backwards..conversely
. who cares.

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Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I like what I see in the mirror except when I pee on the mirror. Then I look like jaundice.

  • UREverythingUREverything

    Only before I had my coffee. But then again I dislike everything I see before I had my coffee.
    That's the me that is getting older.
    When I was super young I looked in the mirror and what I saw was a reflection of daily ridicule from others kids with jokes that stung me mentally. That paired with feelings like a person with no friends or affection it was rough.
    Finally puberty and the teen years kicked in and the self hate ended. I found a voice and found a strength. I accepted myself fully when I learned I could survive.
    Now 99 problems and mistakes later..... Coffee... Im supermodel man.... No coffee....im surly man...

    The coffee concept also applies to body aches, to much sun(not enough sun), big crowds, road trips, the dmv, politics, insomnia, people parking in front if my house, uber eats, holiday lights still up etc etc.

    Its 12am as I write this so I may be looking at the ugly me in the morning. But since I'm lying in bed a I write this, its 30/70 chance.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    You lot are lucky. I've looked in mirrors loads of times and I never see anything except the back of the room.

  • JubalJubal

    Dislike? No. Displeased with how much weight that guy in the mirror has added in the past few decades? Sure. But I still like the guy, even when he does boneheaded stupid things.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Everyone does, at some point.

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    @UglyDuckling ...I absoltely love your reply and am happy you have become a very positive person with great esteem ..best wishes in life. Everybody may encounter something unfavorable about themselves but it's what you do about it thatmatters

  • _marC_marC

    The older I get the less I care

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    @cram..exactly...to cuddle pros..I would never assess your value based on the number of clients you collect....on your life journey you'll find many more important things..if it doesnt work here..you are already way ahead of the game in the mere fact you joined CC as a pro ..I know there are exceptions but the fact you took that step demonstrates your remarkable courage and great character...i am not sure I have the same courage

  • susieq123susieq123

    Heck no

  • starrynitecudsstarrynitecuds
    edited January 2025

    No. I look in the mirror every morning and love the woman I see. We all have our demons with horrible whispers, but I learned to tame mine decades ago. I don't give them power over me. I hold that power.
    Beauty isn't found in a mirror. Beauty is exuded. It's knowing your own worth is more than your face or perfect measurements or money. Beauty is confidence. Confidence is power. Power is beauty.
    There are lines on my face, extra pounds on my body, gray hairs on my head and a plethora of happy stories and really stupid mistakes. Life goes on. Yes, it can be terrible. I have climbed a thousand mountains, have survived every single day and thrived because I believe in myself.
    And be my best self.
    (Editing to say, I am NOT a pro cuddler.)

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited January 2025

    Actually no, and CC is the reason I feel so much better about myself.
    Age brings independence and acceptance.

    One thing that helps, have a smile on your face when you look in the mirror.

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    @starry. Heartfelt and beautiful

  • [Deleted User]croozin37 (deleted user)

    I’ve never felt I was attractive and I’ve had comments about how I always appear angry. I hate seeing myself in photos, I end up having creepy eyes and I’ll even get self conscious about it as the pics getting take to try and avoid it. So I try real hard to let my personality do the talking and hope people look past it

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Yes, of course.

    I see an aging, disabled body that suffers from chronic pain, chronic wounds, constant anxiety, and depression.

    On top of that, the person I see is basically an Ogre, and I gotta tell you, I am not my type.

    On the positive side, my appearance has never been attractive so I learned other skills to compensate. Granted, that meant that others only engaged in relationships, so long as I was providing.

    I suppose that there are people who are in relationships simply because they are attracted to each other, and the chemistry is good, but I have no idea what that is like.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Sometimes I don't like whats inside

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    I already dislike myself enough without a mirror.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    In the early 2000s, I sat in the kitchen and talked to a retired couple who had a plaque on their wall which read…

    “In your 20s, you care about what other people think of you. In your 40s, you quit caring about what other people think of you. In your 60s, you realize they were never thinking of you anyway.”

    Regarding the OP’s question, my answer is no.

    I’ve made my share of mistakes and earned my scars, both physical and emotional. But I have learned from each of them, done everything within my power to correct the big ones to the degree possible, and most importantly, forgiven myself for them. When I look in the mirror I see a man who has learned from the past, is focused on the present, and who is optimistic about the future. My current job gives me a very unique perspective about the future and I am happy to be playing a small role in shaping it.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @starrynitecuds - beautifully said.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @JohnR1972
    Exactly. And that keeps getting reinforced the older you get.
    I focus outward. I pay attention to who and what is around me. If I look in the mirror I smile. It makes a difference.
    It’s all about choices and eventually people get tired of being so self absorbed and miserable.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    I was always okay, but now feel better after losing some weight

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    @>johnR....the theme of this post is along the line of your referenced plaque

  • tiffanybabytiffanybaby

    I accept who I am. Flaws and everything

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii
    edited January 2025

    @starrynitecuds I missed you friend! ❤️

    I had a very severe eating disorder that almost killed me when I was 14. I either had to learn to love myself, or I was going to die. It’s a life long battle since we need food to live - but the mirror doesn’t mean much. Aging is part of life, I embrace it. I also stay out of the sun.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I have all the self love in the world for myself, but that doesn't mean it doesn't take constant courage to be authentic in a world set up to be otherwise. And that can have its bad days too.

    If you're feeling low some days, remember: it's a completely normal part of the human experience, feel your emotions but try not to stay in them. Some of the lessons in our lives are meant to be unlearned. 💕

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    I have never been good with self-evaluations; I generally don't dislike or like what I see in the mirror. I mean, I am certainly heavier than I would like. But I feel that more than I see it.

  • [Deleted User]lovelydelight28 (deleted user)

    Here’s a few real tips to help you feel like YOUR FAVORITE SELF!
    1. You look 25% better than you think. So when you’re looking in the mirror know you’re being harder than most people who pass you in the mall or at work.
    2. Dress up more with no reason necessary. You look how you feel. Give a bit more effort in your appearance.
    3. Decide what’s that one thing you feel good doing alone even though society doesn’t have the guts like you to do. For me it’s traveling, fine dining, or even hitting the bar. It makes me smile!
    4. Get control over your thoughts. This takes intentional practice and meditation. Write good things about yourself and post them where you can see them. Repeat good things to yourself. Give yourself a ton of grace to learn and grow. No one is perfect. Checking your thoughts is KEY!
    5. Spend more time doing what you’re good at and try to teach someone that skill. This will make you feel good about yourself while adding value to someone else.

  • 4bearhugs4bearhugs

    I don't look in the mirror often. My hair is short enough I don't need to worry about it. I don't see the point at looking in the mirror. I don't like how I look, but I know I can't change anything about that. That feeling is confirmed every time I am in the middle of a conversation with another cuddler, and then I send a Pic. And then, I never hear from them again. Unfortunately, this happens a lot. (5 times since the beginning of December.) It is probably why I don't post a profile Pic.

  • [Deleted User]lovelydelight28 (deleted user)

    @4bearhugs I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. It’s tough when we start to tie our self-worth to how others respond to us, especially in the context of something as vulnerable as sharing photos. First of all, let me say this—your worth and beauty aren’t determined by how someone else perceives you. The right people will appreciate and see you for the incredible person you are, inside and out, without needing any external validation.

    Here are a few things you might consider to build confidence and shift your perspective on how you see yourself:

    1.  Focus on Self-Compassion: It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we feel rejected or misunderstood. Practice being kind to yourself—speak to yourself the way you would to a close friend who’s going through a hard time. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, but it doesn’t diminish your worth.
2.  Affirmations: Start with small, daily affirmations. Something like, “I am worthy of love and respect just as I am” can help rewire negative thought patterns over time. The more you affirm your strengths, the more your mind will begin to believe them.
3.  Shift the Narrative: Instead of focusing on the responses (or lack thereof) from others, remind yourself that not everyone is meant to appreciate or understand you, and that’s okay. It’s not about them, it’s about you. Sometimes, people won’t be able to see your value, and that’s more about them than it is about you.
4.  Celebrate Your Uniqueness: Confidence doesn’t require fitting into a mold of conventional beauty or expectations. Embrace your individuality! The things that make you different are often the things that make you special.
5.  Don’t Rush: Confidence takes time and is a journey. Give yourself grace in this process. Try not to measure your worth by one person’s reaction or the number of times something doesn’t work out. Keep nurturing yourself and allowing yourself to grow.
6.  Take Baby Steps with Visibility: If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of posting a profile pic, perhaps start with something that feels safer—a photo where you feel most at ease, even if it’s just a snippet of yourself. Take small steps and be proud of each one.
7.  Talk to Someone You Trust: Sometimes, sharing your feelings with a close friend or counselor can help you work through the insecurities and reinforce the understanding that you’re not alone in how you feel.

    Most importantly, remember that confidence is an ongoing journey. Your worth is innate, and the more you practice being kind to yourself, the more others will notice the confidence you radiate. You’re beautiful as you are, and I hope you can start to see that too.

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    r/thanksimcured

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    Just as a reminder...the theme of the post focuses is to place more emphasis on positive selections and if you couldn't find one to keep looking...if all the focus is on the negative..your self esteem will never improve...and yes..the exercise takes a little work

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