@Ssbbwcuddlecake Glad to see you are going with your instincts. Someone once wrote that if a deer is in the woods, and it suddenly stops, listens, and runs off, no one says it's all in the deer's head. Humans have an instinct for danger too, but all too often we dismiss it or rationalize the feeling away. If it feels wrong, it probably is.
Sounds like a red flag
I understand in this world we live in that it is definitely more dangerous to females than males however it can be a two-way street. Men are vulnerable too especially traveling into unknown territory. I raised both girls and boys and was more liberal with the boys on things like locations and curfews. The only thing I can possibly suggest is a meeting in public first with no expectations of cuddling and if the RED flag is still flying, stay with your instincts, no harm no foul.
Unless you are hosting the session in your home it’s none of his business. If you are you can say something like no one else will be there, or all members of my household know that I am a cuddle therapist etc.
I would be hesitant to see a cuddler at her place for this reason, not just about a jealous husband/bf or whatever just the general akwardness of someone else being there when you are there to cuddle
So, I've been thinking about this more.
If the pro were not hosting, there would be no reason for the client to inquire about the pro's living situation.
However, I think that it is very much legitimate for the client to inquire about the possibility of running into any housemates if the pro were hosting. I think that most clients would prefer not to meet any housemates of the pro, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If there is that potential, I think they would at least like to be prepared for it.
And it's not just housemates, it's also pets. If you have pets, that should be communicated in advance, for multiple reasons, including, but not limited to, the potential of allergies. Also, some people are not cool with a dog running up to them and trying to jump on them, and it's important to be sensitive about things like that. If you, as the host, place the expectation upon your guests to interact with your pets to reassure them, that's not cool. It's not your guests' job to reassure your pets, that's your job.
And regarding housemates, some clients just don't want to deal with running into housemates at all, even if it's just for a split second, because their social battery is just that low.
However, I don't think that this is where this particular client was coming from.
Conversely, if the client were hosting, the pro has every right to inquire about the client's living situation, and if there would be the possibility of running into any housemates or pets.
All of the above applies equally to enthusiasts, if one were hosting and the other were a guest.
If the Pro or any female cuddler feels the same about going into a strange man’s home, well it’s a 2 way street. So I guess a hotel is the best solution and someone will have to pay for that.
I’ve always hosted, I must have made it clear that I live alone but I don’t remember anyone ever asking me if they would run into someone here. Just people walking down the hall from the elevator. No one ever seemed bothered by any of that.
I can't imagine in any universe or variant of myself asking someone this. 1. Because I'm self aware and conscious enough to avoid interpretation tangles. 2. Because it's inferred that I wouldn't also be encountering or cuddling her s.o. if there were one, so I don't really give af or need extra reassurances. 3. However, I did get a massage once from a woman who said she was single. We had exchanged numbers and her boyfriend called and threatened me the next day. I told him I had no idea who he was or that he even existed and it was only a massage. And a janky one at that, in a house to match, and he should be nicer to his gf and happy I helped him cover his rent or drug habit that month. He never called again. I hope that all turned out OK...
I lean creepy. But thinking a follow up like “what makes you ask” to clarify could help.
Nice people can fool you. Psycho’s may not be that and just have low EQ.
Or they could be an axe murder. 🪓 who needs a hug.
could be an axe murder. 🪓 who needs a hug.
Eh, I'd rather just hug the axe...🫂🪓😁
@Katota i like the way you think.
@RapidCuddles Aww, thank you...🫂😁
@Katota i dont think it needs to escalate to be strangled. 😉
😁
@RapidCuddles Milk is more enthusiastic about hugging then Mocha is ...This is one my favorites of the two! 😆😁
@RapidCuddles You can guess which one is Milk and which one is Mocha. Too adorable! 🥰
@RapidCuddles "Axe murderers need hugs too" 😆. (https://i.imgur.com/GEWBblR.jpeg)
But seriously, if your spider sense is tingling, pay heed.
Billy Madison and Danny McGrat. 🤔
@SunriseSnuggles I guess I thought that it's common sense on the part of the pro/host as well as common courtesy that if they do live with others or their s.o. they would communicate with members of the household ensuring other family members or house mates would know when sessions were taking place and make themselves scarce for an hour or two. I myself have had house guests/visitors/ my own adult children in my house during sessions and every single one of them knew to stay away. They were never seen and they never saw the client. However in my situation my home is big enough to where there's separate entrances to a separate floor as well as separate bathroom so there would be no reason to run into anyone during a scheduled timeframe.I always have a handful of people who know when a client is coming and going. It's because of this that I feel safest hosting from home. Regarding pets- again I can only speak on my own situation...It's in my profile that I have a dog and cats. If someone is allergic I wouldn't be a good fit for them. My dog has never jumped up on anyone and I don't expect anyone to interact with him. They don't have to say hello or pat him. My cats run and hide and are never in my cuddle space but the dog stays in the room,on a bed in the corner. He's very quiet and you forget he is there. It's never been an issue but if anyone asked me to remove the dog from the room I wouldn't do it and I may see it as a red flag. You can tell if someone is genuinely afraid of an animal. The animal will sense it as well. If that be the case well,you should have read my profile or asked about pets. Either way I wouldn't go through with a session under those circumstances.
Red flag Stranger asking a woman if they live alone so they can see them “alone” is not okay
This is a bit of a red flag, and I don't blame you for being concerned, @Ssbbwcuddlecake .
On the flip side -- as a client going to a pro cuddler's home, I'd prefer that she tell me ahead of time if someone else will be present in the residence. One time, I met with a pro cuddler who told me (as we were starting our cuddle) that her partner was home, but in the bedroom and "he won't come out here during a session."
And, he didn't, and all was well. But I couldn't help feeling a little vulnerable and uncomfortable with that information, and I would have preferred to have it in advance.
This is why I'm so glad I have an office suite in a well populated office building with surveillance cameras. It's low traffic, but the cameras make me feel safe, and the door locks at night to where you need a passcode to get in.
There is a big difference in "will the cuddle be private" vs. " do you live alone" Cuz I've cuddle people with roommates,adult children who lived at home ect.
I like to be brutally honest and upfront a will ask for clarification because someone typing may not think they sound like the person who drives the neighborhood in the weird van when the do sound like that
Be careful with cameras because depending on the state law you do have to disclose to them they are being recorded. If you do it without consent you can get in pretty big trouble
As far as pets go, wouldn't someone just ask that. Instead of do you live alone. I have a very large dog a trust me, I think It it the height of rudeness to have an animal jump all over a guest or a bunch of fur everywhere. I put my dog on the back porch and if things go sideways he has a way of keeping people honest....but he's never just free roaming out and about
Generally (at least in the US) cameras in your own home aren't a problem, except in places where "people have an expectation of privacy." So the bathroom is an obvious no-no. And if you have a camera in a guest room where you invite someone to change clothes, that would be problematic as well.
I once had a cuddle session where the woman hosted at her apartment. When I arrived, everything seemed perfectly normal. She showed me to her room, left so I could change, and then returned. Throughout the session, I kept hearing faint sounds of movement in the apartment. I had assumed we were alone, so after hearing it a few times, I finally asked about it. She brushed it off, saying it was nothing and that she was just watching her nephews.
The session itself was fairly typical, but as I walked to my car afterward, I noticed a man sitting on her porch, smoking. It struck me as a little odd, but I figured maybe she just wanted to be cautious when hosting a new client. All in all, a normal session, except that one thing was a little weird.