Tired of non responsive and unprofessional "Pros"

[Deleted User]DynamicHarbor (deleted user)
in Pro Cuddling

I really didn't want this to come off as a rant, but this is a problem I've been dealing with the whole time I've been on this site, and it's gotten so bad I'm seriously considering deactivating my profile.

First, for context, I have a completely filled out profile, with face and full body photos, and multiple 5 star karma ratings as of writing. I don't ask anyone for anything outside of the TOS, and keep all my appointments as scheduled.

I am amazed how few pros actually respond to messages. Only about half of all the pros I message for the first time ever respond at all, and only about half of those will actually schedule an appointment with me without ghosting. And to be clear, I'm not being rude or demanding with an initial message. My first message will be something like "Hi (name), I hope you're doing well! Do you have any availability for the first week of March?" Or similar timeframe about a month out.

And no, it's not because I'm messaging inactive profiles, as I always check the "last online" date before messaging anyone.

It's especially frustrating given the price point most pros are asking for. My issue isn't with the price itself, it's with the unprofessional attitude that comes with it.

To provide some context, I'm preparing for a career change into the financial services industry, and recently did a consultation call with someone to discuss my career plans. The person I did my call with runs his own fractional CFO firm, and has led financial departments at multiple companies for many years.

His standard rate for a consultation call is $100 an hour. This is pretty comparable to most pros in my state, who typically charge around $100 an hour.

I don't think it's being unfair for me to say if you are expecting to be paid the same as a C level executive with a decade of experience in his industry, then I expect a similar level of courtesy and professionalism as a C level executive. When I see these pros who straight up ignore messages and ghost conversations, and THEN expect to make $100 or more in spite of that behavior, to be completely honest, it's hard for me to have sympathy.

Again, I really don't want this to come off as a whining or ranting, but like I said, this is an issue I deal with constantly, and it's gotten so bad I'm seriously considering whether it's even worth dealing with anymore.

For the heck of it, I figured I'd make a poll for this post. I'm curious how widespread this issue is, or if it's just my area.

  1. How often have you never gotten a response from an initial message, or been ghosted by a pro?30 votes
    1. Never
      20.00%
    2. Only a few times (once or twice ever)
      26.67%
    3. Less than half the time
      26.67%
    4. More than half the time
      20.00%
    5. Almost always
        6.67%

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I'm just upset about the price of eggs

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    @pmvines It'll be all white ... eventually the price should crack and it'll be over-easy... hopefully ... or else we'll all be scrambled.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Unfortunately, there are a lot of pros on here that aren’t professional 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    50% message reply rate is pretty standard. 25% actual booking ditto. It's not you, or your area, or anything - that's about as good as it gets. On the very rare occasion I'm looking for professional I haven't met before, I always message at least two.

    Part of the problem is that almost all cuddle professionals are part time. And the another part of the problem is the vast number of time wasters who fill their inbox: the consequence is that many genuine messages just get lost.

    But yes. While good, experienced professionals usually offer excellent customer service, the standard across the industry as a whole is dismal.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    If it makes you feel any better, I had two cancellations todays and three yesterday and one person today that deleted their profile mid planning a cuddle for tomorrow 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    @Sheena123 I'm sorry 😞

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @GuyverGordon it’s ok 🤷🏻‍♀️ at this point, 6 years into this, I’m used to it. It’s easier for ppl to switch up plans or straight up ghost someone when it’s not face to face. Part and parcel of the internet. Ppl ghost 🤷🏻‍♀️🥲

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

  • TxTomTxTom
    edited February 2025

    Reported, reviewed, and removed. The forums are not for Pro bashing. Reread the forum rules. Again. While you're in timeout. Kthx. [-Sid]

  • beaublissbeaubliss

    Not at all suggesting you're mistaken, @DynamicHarbor....but do you think that part of the reason you're not getting the responses you desire is due to your own pro vetting? In other words, perhaps you are choosing to message pros who are not a good fit, for whatever reason? And they recognize it?

    Don't get me wrong; I still believe messages should be answered.....however, especially with the younger generation(s), it's often understood that no answer is suggesting no interest. And of course it's the prerogative of the "pro" to only entertain offers of those in whom they feel are a fit for what they offer. In addition, I have a few friends who are pros, and recently, two of them told me they had over 200 messages in their inbox.

    Now that does seem unlikely for the Mich. pros you have contacted......as the ones I am talking about are in LA and NY. But it could also mean that they are only very part-time? Or they are only interested in older men, even though they don't mention it in their profile due to seeming too preferential?

    I wouldn't lose hope, my friend; I would simply choose a little differently, perhaps with someone whose profile seems like a good fit for you. In addition, I would only reach out to pros who write karma for those who have left karma for them, and who do so in a very articulate way, expressing gratitude sweetly.

    I hope this makes sense to you :)

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Honestly, I feel terrible when I am not responsive in a timely manner. It is much easier to book sessions with me after the first one but it can take some effort to get through that first barrier, ha. It's not excusable, I'm just not as focused or put as much time into this stage of the process as I used to. I have a couple other side jobs now and a small percentage of messages that come from CC actually turn into a session, so I focus most of my energy on current clients, who fill in most of my available time outside of my other jobs as it is. I need to fix it and be better, as I do have a little space for more clients. This is just to offer perspective. I can definitely understand how it would be frustrating... =(

  • jonnyquestjonnyquest

    Honestly in the few years I've been here I've only been ghosted twice. Both times it was someone I've cuddled with before.I completely understand being busy and having a life outside of this ,that's why I never assume every time I try to schedule a session I'll get a response seconds after I ask.If 2-3 days go by and I still don't hear anything I'll do a follow up just to see if they're still available on that day at that time...If still no response now I'm wondering if I said or did anything to upset them.I have zero problem if a pro tells me they don't want to have me as a client anymore, but if I'm ghosted right or wrong I'm wondering if it's something about me..

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @jonnyquest i always feel bad for anyone who has done nothing wrong or is not deserving of that behavior. Just a decent normal guy who has been respectful. My personal take on ghosting is that it’s the norm now to especially younger people. I see a lot of laziness, people are just less caring and more selfish than older generations who were raised in a different culture and without the internet. Social media is just all strangers and people feel very comfortable treating them as if they don’t matter.
    Now I also feel that if someone is being abusive in language or trying for something inappropriate, the best reaction is none. Don’t engage at all, that means ghosting and in some cases it legitimately makes sense.
    But when it’s done from laziness and coldness then that’s unfortunate.
    Best advice is to manage expectations here because there’s definitely some questionable behavior. Hope you find a great and caring cuddler! 🤗

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @g_w_t_w While I sometimes agree, I also want to point out that sometimes it's more complicated than that. I "ghosted" almost everyone for awhile after I was not at fault involved in a fatal accident (with my full-time home, an RV). I wasn't trying to be cold or lazy. I just frankly could only handle what I was. Sometimes we wonder if it's something that we did when someone ghosts us, but more often then not, it's about them. 💜😔🙏

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    I had an acquaintance who told me "you'll be fine, just go slow" before I headed out on the road that day. Neither of us have said a word to each other after that. Sometimes communicating is hard...

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @ubergigglefritz
    I can totally see your point. Especially when we get a ton of messages and sometimes just don’t have the energy to compose a thoughtful response.
    I just tend to dislike it if it’s done out of being uncaring but we don’t always know the circumstances, great point!
    But in my old age, I’m better at not caring if a stranger doesn’t reply. You get to the point where you’ve seen it all and take things in stride. I don’t know them personally so I don’t internalize their behavior.
    A good reminder to just not let it affect us.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    💜 It's hard to assume the best when you don't really know someone. It's a good practice to remember that everyone is human. And also, like you said, don't let it affect you (it's usually about them than about you). 🙏🤗

  • jonnyquestjonnyquest

    @g_w_t_w thanks..Honestly and this is just me,no matter how well a session might go,no matter how much both parties enjoyed it and the end of the day this is a transactional relationship.We agree to meet on this day for x amount of hours,for x amount of $$$.The best either of us can hope for is the client enjoys themselves so much they give a tip and or schedule a future session. And the pro enjoyed themselves so much they let you have some free time at the end of the session and are willing to have a session with you in the future..That's about the extent of expectations that I have.The ghosting part did catch me off guard.There's been times when something came up and I'd message whoever I was going to have a session with what happened and if we could reschedule for another day.But these two instances of ghosting completely caught me off guard.I'm always respectful,that's why both times I was like man I wasn't expecting that to happen.I guess I'm just old-school,your reputation and your word are all you truly have....P.s I have absolutely no hard feelings towards the ones that ghosted me,and I'll never say who they are...Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @jonnyquest know that you deserve better and remember that it probably had nothing to do with you and says more about them and possibly things they have gone through or are going through. 💜

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited March 2025

    I would say the best approach is if a pro doesn't respond in a few days, don't take it personally, and reach out to someone else. 🙂

  • QuelQuel

    It seems like your profile is very active! You have tons of reviews and its filled out perfectly. Whoever is avoiding you, just move on, there are plenty of other pros to choose from.. and it looks like you've met a few already! There's plenty of newbies who have a hard time just getting a first session in with no karmas

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    If you message a pro and they don’t respond to your initial message, that’s one thing. It could be for a myriad of reasons. Where I have issues though is when you communicate with a pro and you both agree to a date and time and when the date is coming up you message to confirm or communicate that you need to adjust the date and time due to a scheduling conflict and they just completely ghost you and you never hear from them again, and unfortunately I did have that happen to me a couple of times.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    The Pro changed her mind for whatever reason, her business. (Or if it happens too often, she might not have any business).
    Regardless, everyone is basically a stranger here before meeting and operate on their own set of preferences.
    There’s a long list of comments here to read on this subject, mostly giving the same answer.
    IMO social media has made people more selfish.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    I have the opposite problem where prospective will reach out to me for sessions and we will be going back-and-forth only to realize they never bothered to read my profile and didn’t understand some key highlighted information at the very top of my profile like I have a two hour minimum, prefer to host in my office locations, etc. and then they back out or they get really close to booking and then just ghost and it’s very frustrating. So the nonresponsiveness goes both ways.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited March 2025

    @xandriarain: I had this problem when I was a pro as well, and still do as an enthusiast where I get a fair number of rather abrupt messages from men apparently assuming I am a pro. I used to gently correct them, but these days I usually don't respond to such messages because it happens often enough where I don't want to put the energy into a response.

  • KariMeiSnugglesKariMeiSnuggles
    edited March 2025

    I try my best to stay active and check the website every day but the amount of communication I receive on here is very inconsistent and with my adhd brain if I don't happen to see my email alert as it comes up I forget to check back in unless i am currently speaking to someone. So it's very possible I was online recently then I don't see your message until the next day. (i use you in general since you aren't in my area) I really wish the site had the option to send me text alerts when i receive a message. I don't feel myself to be unprofessional in my interactions but I definitely don't have consistent communication on her.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Yeah, cus cuddle pros aren't supposed to have lives outside of cuddle comfort or free will

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