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I don't know. I mentioned to you that I was married and you blocked me immediately. So maybe you have an issue with that
I'm not sure why someone's romantic relationship status matters if everything is platonic. If we're trying to normalize platonic affection, then relationship status shouldn't be a factor.
I personally never ask about someone's relationships unless they volunteer that information.
I appreciate when people are forthcoming though, just expands the possible topics we can talk about. I've saved someone's marriage before and they no longer need to pay for cuddles.😂
My early indoctrination was to NEVER disturb another man’s woman. The jealous ones might kill you, or make you kill them. And, again part of the indoctrination, no woman was worth dying for, or killing over.
In a world of so many unattached people, why risk it?
It has never occurred to me to ask and it has never come up during a session.
I have seen a couple postings in the past of married women Hosting saying their husband are ok with it and might be home. I always found that super weird.
It’s fine if it doesn’t bother others, everyone will do what they’re comfortable with. My marriage ended because my ex husband cheated on me. Our children were very young and it had lasting effects on them. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust again. So for me it’s personal, I know how it feels. I did cuddle married men when I was a pro and most pros will, I’m guessing But now I might not, depending on who it is and their situation - there could be exceptions. @CharlesGrove I tend to agree with you.
another man’s woman
This is a big part of the real problem right here, the idea that someone in a relationship belongs to the other person. Not meant as a dig against @CharlesGrove or anyone else. It's just a relic of our society.
@IronLemon 💯
This is just one more aspect of the trust angle that's inherent in cuddling with (essentially) a stranger. I have to trust my cuddling partner to be honest about her relationship status, and that she's honest if she says her partner is cool with this. If she's married/partnered and her partner doesn't like the idea, she can just lie to me. How would I know?
I'm single, no one is allowed to have any issues if I cuddle someone. And again, none of this works without a presumption of trust -- so I have to assume my cuddle partners are in the clear as well.
If she tells me she's in a relationship and her partner is cool with it, then I'm cool with it too. If she doesn't tell me her relationship status, that's cool too.
I don't think Charles literally implied people belong to each other..but an extremely intense relationship can make it seem that way..both in healthy and unhealthy relationships...thats just as much true to day as it was in the past
I have no problem cuddling with women in a relationship. People's lives are their own business and I don't inquire, though I'm happy to talk about relationships if the subject comes up.
Also, I don't see platonic cuddling as "cheating" anymore than going to an LMT is, so for me there is no question of there being an issue.
@RedFox16 I flash a badge, wand them in case they hid a wedding ring somewhere in a pocket or the prison wallet, shine a flashlight into their eyes searching for that thousand mile stare of marital despair, and when I catch one I tell them “I gotcha. I am a benevolent cop though so I don’t judge or care. Let’s cuddle.”
I have no idea what someone is doing in their marital home, or intentions—I am not a walking lie detector. I celebrate when I can recall my own motivations for any type of decision I make IRL. Why would I presume to know someone else’s?
PSA: Don't reply to me if you have me blocked lol
Pro here: I am very happily partnered and she supports the work I do. She also respects and completely understands that the work I do stays in the platonic lane. I don't EVER veer outside of that lane and she gets that. I don't ask about my client's relationship status, as this is platonic work. It doesn't come up. If the clients want to talk about their relationships or lack thereof, I'm 100% willing and capable of chatting/coaching while we do our cuddling session. Side note entirely: I don't even understand why CC asks us in our profile if we have children or not. I don't see how that plays a particularly important role in my ability to professionally cuddle someone. I digress!
Being in a relationship carries with it the basic obligation to respect a partner's feelings. Someone who is cuddling without telling their partner may be doing that because their partner would be hurt or angered by it. That's why it makes a difference if the partner has been told or not, at least to me. Nothing to do with anyone owning anyone else, just wouldn't want to be a part of someone potentially hurting their partner.
LOL @TheFunCartel How do you know what a prison wallet is? 😂😅 My kids' dad is a LEO, so that's why I know....👀🤨
Also, good point made about how everyone should be responsible for their own business.... And illustrating that there's no reasonable way (reasonable being the key word) to "know" for sure about a cuddle buddy's relationship status 🕵️♀️
It doesn't mean it's ok for people to deceive their SO (because despite cuddling being platonic, some will still see that as crossing lines....which is understandable). But it's not something that should be the onus of another person to figure out. Maybe, however, it's different with enthusiasts getting together, due to the vibe being more casual?
If a person is looking to emotionally cheat on an SO, they're gonna do it. Yes, there's a violence factor for guys cuddling a woman who's attached...but there's still the question of how can anyone know for sure? 🫤
The only time this was ever talked about was when I had a session with a pro who told me that she got into cuddling because her partner of 5 years had recently passed away.So she was doing this as part of her healing process..The other pros I've cuddled with never mentioned whether they were in a serious relationship or dating..Personally if I was in a relationship I wouldn't be doing this because even though this is platonic I'd still feel guilty cuddling with someone I met online when I have someone at home I can do that with.On the other hand if I was dating someone and she mentioned that she's a pro cuddler(hate me for this if you want) if I really wasn't that serious about her it wouldn't bother me.But if this is someone that I was getting serious about/starting to plan a future with them I'd ask her to stop.Because even though I know this is platonic,the idea of the woman I'm in love with going somewhere or hosting someone she met online for a session would be a bridge to far for me.
I actually learned something new here today. “Prison wallet”. lmao
I think that term would be great content for Kate McKinnon’s next close encounter alien abduction SNL skit.
And on a broader note, I guess the take away from this post is that at the end of the day we all need to be responsible for ourselves, and our own actions. Such as life.
You can vet all you want but you will never know unless you know the person personally. Lying comes naturally to a lot of people now days. And there are a lot of people who will tell you what you want to hear. If they think it serves them to be married that’s their truth. If it serves them to be single, then the truth is rebranded.
@WestsideMarc
Can I ask you something?
You mentioned you had a few cuddles with married women, and that you noticed a common thread between them: that you experienced a particularly impactful connection with them.
Were you aware that these women were all unhappily married, or were you just assuming that they were unhappily married based on their need for cuddles?
Also, were these women cuddling with other people behind their husbands' backs or with their husbands' knowledge and consent?
You can also DM me rather than reply here if you prefer.
@RedFox16 i had an uncle that was a chief of police in a town of 35,000 who used colorful terminology to us kids all the time. That’s where I learned the term over 50 years ago.
@Sunrise_Snuggle No problem. I’d be happy to share; I’m an open book. Too much message content for the public board but I’ll be happy to PM you.
I don't even ask if someone is married, really doesn't matter to me
@KuddlyKoala ” I'm not sure why someone's romantic relationship status matters if everything is platonic. If we're trying to normalize platonic affection, then relationship status shouldn't be a factor.” Exactly!!!!!
@theCuddleDrgn Even when platonic, most SO’s wouldn’t like the idea of their Partner being in bed privately with someone else. It’s possibly cheating and hurtful.
I have cuddled with someone that is married. She told me from the beginning that she was married. She said her husband knew so I took her word for it. I am married as well. My wife knows that I have cuddled. As long as everyone is aware of it, then I see no issues with it. Not that I would be looking for it to go any further than cuddling but my wife and I are polyamorous. My wife has cuddled with other people.
I personally do not have a problem cuddling with a woman with a boyfriend, or is married. My cuddles are plutonic. I never think about if my massage therapist has a boyfriend or husband, and I don’t think about it with my cuddle partner.
I am never sure about the massage therapy analogy, for two reasons. Yes, both involve touch, but a massage therapist isn't wrapping her arms around you and getting into bed with you for two hours. Also, pretty much everyone has heard of massage ... they might even have had one themselves ... my guess is the concept of platonic cuddling (paid or unpaid) with someone you met online is not that well known yet. When I have mentioned this site to people, the knee-jerk reaction is always that it's a cover for sex work.
@TheDreamWeaver2 plutonic cuddles could be a thing, but where does someone get plutonium in this day and age. In the 80s you could just swindle some libyans into providing it for you in exchange for you building them an atomic bomb
@FunCartel_
Pretty much - unless you want to hire a PI to verify their story, at some point you have to put some trust in them. If they let you down, it’s on them, not you. If they’ve given you reason not to trust them, well then you probably shouldn’t be cuddling them.
A reasonable approach to life as a citizen of a community is to try to acquire the things you want while being mindful of others/avoiding unneeded pain on others, same basic premise applies to the OP topic. Would it hurt their SO if they knew they were cuddling someone else? If yes, then a reasonably decent person would want to weigh whether cuddling them is worth it or not.
Yes sometimes there are exceptions that might warrant cuddling someone who’s SO does not know - they are in a coercive abusive relationship and don’t know how to leave, SO in a coma, etc etc