Sleeping during overnights

HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
in General

How do you handle the sleeping part as pros and clients? Or even enthusiasts?

I've had some awkward situations where the cuddler buried themselves under a blanket fortress. Or one nearly pushed me off the bed lol (while asleep).

I've never had a cuddler want to fall asleep in my arms.

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 2025

    I honestly am not a good sleeper. I toss and turn , get hot, occasionally snore, and have the worst nocturnal farts. And in morning I wake up sore, have morning poops, and need at least 30 min of drinking coffee, scratching myself, and blankly staring ahead before I am conversational. So if you wanna have a spend the night party with me it's at your own risk.

  • KatotaKatota

    occasionally snore

    👍👍👍👍

    @pmvines Lol! You are definitely a snorer, thank goodness for not enduring your sleep farts ... Yet! 😄😄😄😄

  • KatotaKatota

    So if you wanna have a spend the night party with me it's at your own risk.

    😁

    @pmvines Nah, I have slept next to worse friend

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Katota

    Don't know how you'd be able to hear it over the sonic boom tv volume 😂

  • KatotaKatota

    How do you handle the sleeping part

    Well, I have only had ONE who has actually slept over night with me and aside from waking up due to his snoring to firmly (but very kindly 😆) to nudge him to turnover on his side to cut out the snoring. Other than that we just snooze on in peace ...😴😴😴😴

  • KatotaKatota

    Don't know how you'd be able to hear it over the sonic boom tv volume 😂

    @pmvines HA! True, but if you didn't tell me to turn it down, I wouldn't be able to HEAR your snoring friend. 😆😆😆

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Katota

    Falling asleep to horror movies you kinda have to have the volume loud otherwise it's not enjoyable

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited March 2025

    I would cuddle with @pmvines for a diff reason...

    Sounds like a boot camp adventure. If I survive by morning I'd be much more resilient in life.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @HuggyBear

    Ah like cuddle fear factor 😂

  • _marC_marC

    I snore and use a cpap to, but I can still cuddle with it on🤿

    I love to rub my partners back while being the big spoon, and play with their hair too. I usu fall asleep doing this. Later I'll roll over and cuddle back to back🎱

  • KatotaKatota

    Falling asleep to horror movies you kinda have to have the volume loud otherwise it's not enjoyable

    @pmvines Yep, but I can accommodate by turning it down so you can sleep. Being the generous cuddle overnight hostess that I Am! 😁🫂

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    It’s different with each cuddler but I’ve had some where I’m in their arms and we both pass out. Other times like when one had a CPAP machine, he set all that up and then spooned me while we fell asleep. One time, I he was in a papa bear position sitting up while I was squished against them and we both passed out lol

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay
    edited March 2025

    The few overnights I have had - I usually take a nap before heading to session and I caffeine up before I get there and bring an Iced coffee with me. I don’t expect to sleep much. Little cat naps here and there but as a pro being PAID for my time, I try to give comfort and peace to my cuddle partner through out the night. They tend to stay up for at least 4-5 hours of the session and sleep with me holding them or them holding me for the remaining few hours. I usually sleep the last hour so I’m able to drive home ok. When my time is up I like to sneak out as to not interfere with their sleep. I’ve yet to have an overnight more than 8 hours so I’m usually leaving by 6 am at the latest.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Um @sage91436 I think you meant to say "paid" for your time not "laid" 😂

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @pmvines lmao yes I meant paid which I have now corrected. Thank you for pointing that out to me. Self proclaimed Typo Queen 👸 over here

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I snore, so I don't think I would inflict an overnight on someone.

  • RunawaycuddlesRunawaycuddles

    @Huggycatbear Good conversation prompt!

    In my case I'm fairly lucky I only host since it's generally easier for me to sleep comfortably in my own bed, but in general I find sleep compatibility to be something that varies from person to person, so it's always best to do a bit of a dry run first.

    Sleeping overnight has way less awkward surprises if both people have experienced the other person sleeping while they themselves are awake, even if it's just dozing off for a bit mid-cuddle.
    Snoring, cuddle preferences, tossing and turning etc. are things you can ask people about or warn them beforehand, but there's just too much variation to know how tolerable those idiocracies will be without experiencing them.
    Since it happens unconsciously, it's not uncommon for people to say "I snore a bit" when they actually sound like 50 chainsaws because the only people they had telling them they snore have often been romantic partners that don't want to make them self-conscious about it. Or they might love cuddling when they fall asleep, but as soon as they're out they immediately push you away and want space. Or sleep fart a lot. You really never know 🤷🏼

    Basically, it's important that you both know your limits, communicate your needs and share information on your sleep styles as honestly as you can.
    This isn't the time to be shy or sugarcoat your needs!

    If you do end up in an unsalvageable sleep situation, as awkward as it sounds, I really recommend you just leave. Or move to a couch if that's an option.
    Leaving completely may seem extreme, but trust me, it's wayyyy better to maintain a positive cuddle relationship by being honest and knowing your own limits than to try and pretend everything is Gucci when you spent hours being choked by night farts, kicked and whacked by their thrashing limbs, being deafened by the loudest snores known to man, or knocked completely off the bed, all while dealing with sleep deprivation. 😅

    If you do leave, wake them up first, I'd also recommend messaging them repeating the general bye message in case they don't remember you waking them up to say it irl, nothing harsh or accusatory, just something simple.
    Sharing valid concerns about your ability to function safely the next day (work/school obligations, health needs/being a good parent/the ability to drive etc.) can help keep the focus on your needs instead of "Your farts are lethal" or something unnecessarily rude like that 😂🤣
    Cuz, lethal night farts or no, nobody likes a morning heart attack of "Crap, they're gone, what happened??" with no explanation.

  • penguin34penguin34

    Okay! Here we go! I thought I should chime into this! I am not running the risk of snoring ,farting, or twitching. ( Apparently it's so bad, a guy once nearly called an ambulance as he thought it was a seizure! 😂 ) I have insomnia anyway, so I just don't take sleeping pills when I have an overnight cuddle
    Session. I also only eat rice before, so no stomach trouble. ☺️

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited March 2025

    —-Ooofff — that went bad quickly. Classic @pmvines heading off the discussion in his usual fashion, and then a dog pile of delights from there… LOL

    PS- no one mentioned night terrors, sleep walking or talking, drooling or any other oddities like that..

  • [Deleted User]HumbleBaron1 (deleted user)

    Zzzzz

  • dennis22554dennis22554

    I think the concept of a sleepover is beautiful but..especially if there is a real platonic connection ! But sadly I would never schedule one for fear of sleeping entirely through the session

  • JackNJJackNJ

    I have never pulled an all nighter with someone but I have slept for a few hours while cuddling. There were times that she slept also. There were times she liked having the company in her home so as I slept, she would go about her home to do her chores or whatever it is that she needed to do. She let me use her place as like a hideaway.

  • JargogleBearHugJargogleBearHug

    If you do end up in an unsalvageable sleep situation, as awkward as it sounds, I really recommend you just leave.

    @Runawaycuddles - is that how you got your username? 😂

  • RunawaycuddlesRunawaycuddles

    @JargogleBearHug I mean kinda? Not too terribly far off 🤣😂

  • Lilypad88Lilypad88
    edited March 2025

    If i were to hire a pro for myself it would be specifically to help me sleep. I fall asleep best and stay asleep best with someone holding me.

    With that said I have never had an overnight with a pro. I have had multiple overnights as a pro over the last year and have honestly had quite the spectrum of evenings.

    I generally alot around 12 hours for overnights. 7pm-7am or 8pm-8am... Dinner, maybe a movie, some active cuddling before bed and then helping them sleep, morning cuddles, coffee and a short debrief conversation.

    I dont snore, however it is possible for me to toss and turn. Not everyone I've had overnights with had the best nights sleep. Others though we were comfortable all night. Hosting is useful for making sure I am less restless but I find many ppl feel the same and want the comfort of their own home for such an extended session.

    Because I am going to be falling asleep I will only take confirmed safe cuddles that I have met before. Likely by having seen them multiple times and having a discussion about what it would look like. I want to make sure they know that I cant guarantee them a good nights rest.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    Really enjoyed so many that have shared their stories here.

    Every overnight I've ever had has been a mostly sleepness night for me. And I'm not necessarily blaming them. I think I'm too attentive, or something about someone else's presence leaves me wired.

  • Paul702Paul702

    I've had overnights with 2 different pro's. I enjoyed the activities we'd do prior such as have dinner, catch a play, etc. However, when it comes time to sleep, I find it almost impossible. Not sure what it is, perhaps too self-conscious I may snore or pass gas or just not used to sleeping with another person in the same bed. I use a cpap as well but don't think that's the reason. I find myself usually having minimal to no sleep at all and just sleep-deprived the rest of the day.

  • CaptainChaosCaptainChaos
    edited March 2025

    I have only done 2 overnight cuddles with different friends (not from here). We change into comfortable clothes, I have a BiPAP machine so I sleep and not snore. I have severe obstructive sleep apnea.

    We either have the TV on, or find music to stream at a low volume and just talk, relax etc. Since they're not on here, once we've unwound and get to the point of starting to doze we do "night-night" kisses, I strap my mask on and we just snuggle up and off to dreamland. The morning for wake up, we have discussed when waking up how difficult/easy we are. And that's because even though we know each other, it's to avoid startling the other etc. don't want to get punched LOL.

    One suffers from PTSD, so we discussed possible triggers and has been thru a lot with her Ex and his parents about custody of their child. I put together an entire "escape" where she could completely disconnect from everything around her. A 2 hour drive, dinner, free concert tickets that I won and a quiet room at the end of a hotel hallway. Once it was cuddle-time into bedtime, quick kisses, strong hugs and letting her know "you're safe with me and I won't let anything happen to you". The following morning she said she felt relieved, hadn't slept that deep/well in months and truly felt protected in my arms. Once I brought her home she asked "when are we doing another one?" I said I'd work on it.

    I have been fortunate to cuddle with a couple of different Pro's, but not for overnights- typically 2 hours or so. Once after we've caught up on life and move thru a variety of positions, snuggles and rubs/scratches etc we have dozed and I think at least one snores a bit.

    As time winds down, I carefully and gently rock them awake while softly repeating their name. The first time when they were asleep, I was worried about the "startle" where they wake up, swing arms etc forgetting that we were cuddling. One has said after each time that she felt secure and comfortable enough with me to "relax and let go".

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    @Paul702 That's exactly what I go through!

    @Runawaycuddles Appreciate the love and insight on the thread. However I don't think I have the cuddle and run skills or temperament that you do 😅 One of the greatest powers people can have is to let go, and I'm still working on that one.

    @CaptainChaos Love your skills! Gently rock them while awake and helping them drift off to sleep. That is someone that feels secure in your arms for sure.

    I think what it is is when two people sleep together, it's less easy to shed off that "We're Strangers" feeling than cuddling while awake, even if close contact opens areas of intimacy.

  • RunawaycuddlesRunawaycuddles

    @Huggycatbear One of the many, but unexpected benefits of the 'tism, zero fear of confrontation and uncomfortable topics 🤣😂

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