Mental Health Support

Have you come across people on CC who are struggling with their mental health (extreme anxiety, clinical depression and/or suicidal ideations)? Have you been able to provide supports? If so, what supports or resources have you provided?

Example: Calling or texting 988

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Comments

  • edited March 2025

    This is a subject I steer away from as there is a lot of stigma here regarding it. Not all but several like to promote toxic positivity and victim shame instead of help.

    it is a very complex situation that has no one answer as causes and stressers will be different for everyone but 988 is a good start in a crisis (if US based).

  • I try not to diagnose anyone so if they know their mental struggle I just try to be there as support. As I too have my own mental struggles so I am not here to judge just be a friend with a listening ear or a warm touch

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    No, not to that extent. I'm not qualified to judge if someone is clinically depressed and I have never heard anyone here talk about suicide.

  • [Deleted User]easylike (deleted user)

    Like SillyLilly, I myself could and would offer any support based on my own wisdom gained through life's experiences whether it be my personal or close friends and loved ones, I suppose kind of like an AA meeting and like WriterGF, definitely not qualified professionally.

  • As a pro, I usually do get quite a few that are just absolutely going through it. I would never call what I do therapy. I know some do. But I always try to be there as best I can. I make sure to say “I'm not a therapist but I am always here for you to vent or hold onto during our snuggles. And I always leave my messaging open for anyone that wants someone to talk with.
    And of course all of my friends and family know this too. I sometimes ask “do you need to vent or do you want advice?”

  • I knew somebody who did this, and honestly the struggling clients were her favorites, for a bunch of reasons but I imagine partly because she had struggles herself. The key is keeping the right amount of distance and remaining professional. Their problems aren't your problems, and you're doing more than enough by offering them cuddles and a platonic safe space. It's important to understand that while rewarding, there are increased risks of stalkers and obsessive behavior. You also have a responsibility not to take advantage of their vulnerability. Tread carefully and clearly communicate it's not therapy but caring cuddles you're offering.

  • Thanks all. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I'm not diagnosing anyone. I am speaking of someone sharing with you that they are struggling and naming their condition. Appreciate you all for weighing in

  • Most people need some degree of mental health support. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just a nature of the complexity of modern society.

  • Personally, when I have come across people who are struggling, I politely step away and suggest they find different people to cuddle with. If I end up saying or doing the wrong things , I would not forgive myself. 🤷

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Instead of building systems that support us, humans instead build systems that they have to survive.

    Again, we humans are very clever, and deeply stupid at the same time.

  • @CharlesGrove can you speak more to this? I don't fully understand and I would like to understand. Thank you for weighing in. 🙏🏽

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    @CaramelNotes

    Things like flamethrowers, or nuclear weapons, or deadly lab created viruses.

    We are clever enough (and cruel enough) to imagine them, and even design them. But then we are stupid enough to build them and make them real.

    And we have always been this way as a species… Stories of the Golem, Djinn, Adam (Frankenstein’s Monster), and so on are variations on the theme of how our quests for power so often poison or destroy us, and yet… we keep right on doing it.

    Monoculture crops… AI… Capitalism… Death and Torture Cults… Celebrity Cults…

    We cannot seem to help but try to make everything better while actually making it worse, because we are never satisfied with what we have for very long.

  • I wish there were cuddlers who were fully trained therapists as well. I think I've healed as much as I can in traditional therapy. And even though I discussed my cuddling here every step of the way with my therapist, even discussing whether I should try it at all, the cuddling brought up more of my past than I've been able to handle. So I don't cuddle anymore.

    Even with the best intentions, things can go wrong.

  • @CharlesGrove that last paragraph was brilliant. Thank you for sharing

  • Thank you for sharing @billiam I'm sorry that's happened.

  • My clients that have told me about their mental health struggles are already seeking support. I would likely refer them to a therapist if it sounded like they could benefit from it and tell them of my own experiences with it but I am not a therapist i'm there to offer them support in the same way a friend would be. I can say that my therapist has started sharing cuddle comfort with some of his clients in PA. I love that he saw what I do and sees the need for it and now has it as a resource to offer.

  • I have people from all over come to vent to me. I have given a support number out in the past a few times. I also have just listened and been a sounding board. Some people just want to talk, no other action. The was hardest thing I had to learn. I don’t have to “ fix “ everything. I can just listen. It’s happened to me for over 30 years.

  • That's beautiful @Bear and you are so right.

    That's really cool @KariMeiSnuggles

  • @CharlesGrove wrote:

    We cannot seem to help but try to make everything better while actually making it worse, because we are never satisfied with what we have for very long.

    This is part of the human condition. This is what drove Adam and Eve to eat the apple in the Bible. Had Adam and Eve not had that compulsion to make things better in their estimation, they could have lived in the perfection of Eden forever.

    I believe the story in the Bible was itself a parable trying to teach us the value of acceptance and gratitude. Because it was well known even back then that this human need for things to be other than they are is what causes suffering (not the same as pain).

    It can also be said that our ability to envision things differently than what they are is what makes us human in the first place.

    It's the human condition. It's a big part of why we suffer. We have this great tool and yet this same tool has the power to destroy us and everything around. It could also save us, just like so many other tools.

    Buddha recognized this too, in his teachings about giving up desire. Desire for what? For things to be other than they are. It is in Vedanta and other religions too (I know Buddhism isn't a religion).

    Part of mental illness, for some, and again just part, is the mind's reaction to being stuck in this catch 22. It crumbles under the weight.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    @billiam

    I agree. I often think that anxiety and depression are a sign of sanity, especially in this utterly insane modern world.

    I don’t think that we have evolved even close to enough to deal with the power our technology gives us.

    Evolution had us in small multi-family groups of between 40-80 individuals for truly vast amounts of time. And yet, here I am communicating with people thousands of miles away, and watching every sadness and atrocity in the world on a screen. But, I can also eat all the ice cream I want, listen to whatever music I want at the push of a button, and be utterly sad that I am nearly always alone…

    All at once.

    My inner chimpanzee is VERY confused…

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @CharlesGrove Well, remember the old quote, "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you probably don't understand the situation." If you're not anxiety-ridden these days, it's entirely possible you're just not paying attention.

  • @CharlesGrove exactly! entirely too much too fast from too many directions

    To address the question at hand. We aren't licensed therapists, well maybe that's just me. But it bears repeating. That being said, again and again; I like to throw in recommendations for counseling. Some people just don't know. others may feel judged, whatever the case, sometimes an open ear gets more than they can handle and professional help is necessary. So yeah, doing the most to help.

  • edited April 2025

    I have ran into some people with complex trauma and depression. Some of the issues require a specific form of talk therapy which wouldn’t be resolved in a cuddle. Talk therapy can stress someone out if they are not consciously ready for it. I try to offer wisdom, if it doesn’t work, i bluntly tell people let’s try to enjoy the moment and soothe them.
    I actually find that i have an easier time dealing with complex trauma than depression. Sometimes people just need an ear while being held and felt safe. Other times, cuddling just isn’t the solution, but it does help alleviate loneliness. I really think cuddling is about eliminating touch deprivation, learning to be vulnerable, helping with socializing and mitigating loneliness. If someone needs to shift their perspective, and reframe their thoughts, cuddling will not help.

  • @theCuddleDrgn

    cuddling is about eliminating touch deprivation, learning to be vulnerable, helping with socializing and mitigating loneliness.

    💯

  • @theCuddleDrgn
    I love how much thought you've put into this.

  • edited April 2025

    If our contribution can be reduced to energy we could possibly get to the root issues. Our communication, because of updated, abbreviated language and evolving symbols, is a changing standard.

    IMO language gets in the way of communication. When we can reach each other through vibration (and touch may be the closest thing right now) we can begin to share energy, which may be the goal..to receive and give the most sincere energy.

    Our technologies could take us in the direction of shared energy once we make vibration the goal and not language. Depression could then be diffused in a setting where we share the vibration. (This is my understanding without being an expert)

    One day, in the right environment this will be a thing.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    When all other methods of communication fail, try words.

  • I have absolutely had clients who have some mental health challenges, and I certainly hope I am helping!

    I encourage clients to seek mental health services, like finding a therapist, if they share about the difficulties they are having. I have had a couple clients start therapy, or start exercising, or start socializing more after they started cuddling. I wouldn't take the credit for their progress, but I think getting the support and connection of another person can be helpful whether it's cuddling or a friend.

    Boundaries are super important there. As much as I love to support and encourage my clients, I am not a therapist. So I offer what I can, I am clear about what I can't and in every part of my life I hope the people around me are better off because they met me. 😊

  • @Dance_Culture theres actually a form of therapy that specializes in this. It utilized sounds and visuals to help people with PTSD. One of my social worker friends, who is also ex veteran seeks treatment via this specific method. Its around 200 an hour, but insurance helps. If we are able to make cuddling a legitimate profession, Maybe sessions can be covered via insurance.

    Random journal article that might or might not be related. I will touch base with my friend about the specific terminology of therapy.
    https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4493659/

  • edited April 2025

    @billiam tysm

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