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softncuddlessoftncuddles
in General

How long are "abandoned, unchecked" profiles left on this site?
Last week I sent message to three Lakeland providers that I would be visiting family. The one who replied was on vacation, two others who had not been on their page in two months or longer never replied, or been on their page.
Kind of frustrating.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    As far as I know, they are never removed unless the member decides to deactivate or delete. It's not unusual for both pros and enthusiasts to take long breaks from the site and come back later. The simple solution for you is, when doing a search for someone in a particular area, specify when you want them to have been online last (within the last week, or month, or whatever). That way, you won't be writing people who are not active.

  • _marC_marC

    🤫Keeps their numbers up and makes it look like this is a popular place, when actuality there really aren't very many of us here😶‍🌫️

  • ImmersedwarmthImmersedwarmth

    Yes, there are a lot of inactive members/accounts, but I wouldn't say this is a ghost town. The visible activity in the forums is merely a fraction of those who frequent the site. At least that's been what I have observed in my area and my connection/communication with those across the US.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Old profiles are not removed, partly because this is a site where people come for help and support. Not very helpful and supportive to come back to this place after a long absence and find your once-precious profile has been deleted. Members taking breaks from the site, whether weeks, months or years, is very common.

    It's up to members to select the search options they want. I find that writing to somebody who hasn't logged in for more than a week means the probability of a timely reply is very small, and for more than a month it is functionally zero. (When you do get a reply in such cases, it may literally be years later.)

    The reply rate to random opening messages, no matter what the circumstances, is never ever higher than about 50%.

  • ImmersedwarmthImmersedwarmth

    @CuddleDuncan I totally agree with the expectation of writing to someone who has not logged-on for quite some time. But as for the 50% notion, I'm guessing that's your experience, because I personally have found it to be more like 80-90%.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)
    edited April 2025

    @craM Not sure what you're basing that on? Forum participants make up a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percentage of the site membership. Not certain how you can know what the total active membership is.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Don't let an inactive profile deter you. If there's something about that person that genuinely interests you, then send a brief, but thoughtful message anyway.

    They may return at some point, and they may even reply to you. It's happened to me.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Immersedwarmth that's quite remarkable. You're doing something very right.

    That 50% is a general observation. My own experiences is a bit better than that, though not as good as yours. I am a special case because I'm well known in the forum and have sticky topics, so when I write to people sometimes they already know who I am. I also have a lot of Karma. The "no matter what the circumstances" should perhaps have been, "for most ordinary members".

  • KatotaKatota

    when doing a search for someone in a particular area, specify when you want them to have been online last (within the last week, or month, or whatever). That way, you won't be writing people who are not active.

    @WriterGF 👍👍👍👍

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace
    edited April 2025

    I only search for cuddlers who have been active in the past month and there are plenty of them in my area. I don’t waste my time looking at inactive profiles.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited April 2025

    @WriterGF wrote:

    Forum participants make up a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percentage of the site membership. Not certain how you can know what the total active membership is.

    I agree. I was cuddling with someone at a party recently and they mentioned CC and I mentioned I was semi-active on the forums and their response was, "There's a forum?"

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    That's weird to me, given the word "forum" in the menu bar at the top. Then I remember that the average person isn't that observant.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @HarleyGirlKate You're not the first person I have heard tell a story like that.

  • gr8AZvibegr8AZvibe

    After reading this thread it may be realistic to think someone will come back in 6 months, even stretch it to a year, but 5 or more years? I highly doubt it.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    Not sure about five years either but I know I opened my account last year. And then immediately “deleted” it. Then reopened it about five months later, to realize then that my old account was still there, just inactive and not viewable during that time which I was thankful for to not have to redo the whole thing. So cuddlers do come back. I’m sure those who had even more history with karma and messages built up are thankful the site doesn’t delete all that history.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I could see someone opening an account here ... then getting into a relationship and not needing this place ... and then coming back, maybe years later, after the relationship has ended.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    @WriterGF thats a valid point!

    I just met a fellow CC member at the recent Meet & Greet in Galveston who's story was just that ,,,even a couple times leaving / deactivating CC since joining way back in 2016! yeah so that does occur here!

  • BearBear

    I opened mine originally about 2013. Tahoe when I first found out about it and others at a cuddle meetup. Back then there were a good 3-4 a month.

    Right around when my mom passed in 2015 I pulled away. Then more pay for cuddling services popped up. Less cuddle meet ups.

    I had found an inexpensive cuddle pro. I was with for quite awhile. Then they moved. Life got harder taking care of my Dad with work and all.

    Then about 5 years ago I was contacted by a pro on here I knew. There were no pros when I left. We had a session and I was on and off again. Then my brother passed in 2022 and my Dad in 2023. I’ve been on a lot since then. The people here have helped a lot. I talk to more pros than enthusiasts.

    This is a beautiful community. Like a chosen family. It’s been here when I needed it as well as when I didn’t. Something consistent. I’ve made some wonderful connections. I’m so glad my profile wasn’t purged when I wasn’t here.

    I have had to learn to use the filters. Nothing inactive less than a month. Pro or no pro. Price range I can afford. Distance I’m willing to travel. These are responsibilities we have as a member. We cannot expect the overburden mods to do it all.

    If you don’t know how to set the filters, there are plenty of kind and conscientious members who will help if asked.

  • beaublissbeaubliss

    All of these comments are helpful and filled with insights.......I especially appreciated @Bear providing his experiences, and how important community is during a time of grieving.

    And I also concur with many who responded to the OP surrounding the freedom CC allows for the pro to decide if/when to delete an account. I, too, have received notes from pros long after I sent them once they decided to become more active. They didn't delete as they didn't want to lose the karma left......and they were just unsure about when they might want to return to active cuddling. There's a host of reasons surrounding why one might want to take a break; and coming back to see a bunch of messages may be inspiring!

    For the client searching, as others have said, simply note the last time the pro was online, and that could inform your expectations. I may still write to one who has been off for months, or even longer, but I will have zero expectations that I will hear back.

  • Midnight01Midnight01

    If you aren’t active in like year, they should purge these accounts. This isn’t like Facebook, you join to get find someone and people search for you to get that cuddle. Pros could get a longer leash I guess, but non pros clean up the non actives. Send a warning and final email that account will be deleted or something.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited April 2025

    I like how profiles are being managed currently and like the fact too that if I decide to take a long break, I can easily come back and find my profile is still here.

    Admittedly, I only use the search feature very occasionally, but when I do, I find the ability to filter by how long people were last online here useful in that filters out those who have been gone for X amount of time.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Midnight01 Why? You can search by how recently they have been online. If you choose not to set that filter, it's not the fault of the member. Maybe they found someone to cuddle with and are taking a break from the site. Should they have to lose all their karma because of that? What if the person they are cuddling moves away and they need to search again?

    Simply put, being non-active hurts no one other than those who can't be bothered to filter their search.

  • Midnight01Midnight01

    I agree with all of what @craM, to make it look like there are more users here than actually are.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    The homepage states there are over 400,000 members, I believe. Is anyone planning to count up every member profile to see if that figure is accurate? If not, what purpose would keeping inactive members active serve?

    Fact is, I doubt the mods have the time to check every profile to track when last they logged on. If you want people to leave completely when they aren't going to be active for a while, you probably have to start charging per month for membership so they have a financial incentive.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    I feel like there have been a lot of reasons given as to why profiles should stay up.
    Statements that it is to play up the number of members may or may not be true. Who knows. They are running a business here, insert related business practices as needed.

    But in my experience, there are plenty of members on here. Now, the male to female ratio is way off balance, for sure, and the owners/mods are very upfront about that.

    If you're not getting responses from people, use the filters to make sure they've been active. You're absolutely correct that messaging someone who has not been around in more than a couple weeks is probably not going to result in a speedy response. But like others have mentioned, if someone's profile speaks to you, give it a go, just don't have any expectations.

    Are you messaging active pros or enthusiasts?. From what I've been told, as long as you've reached out respectfully, the pros will respond in a timely manner.

    If you're a male messaging female enthusiast:
    (Said these before, but for funsies, I'll suggest them again.)

    • Congratulations!🎉🎉 You just found a unicorn. Making friends with a unicorn is no easy business. (yes I am an enthusiast and yes I just compared myself to a magical mythical creature, and yes I think it's an accurate description 😁 🦄)
    • Learn how to write a really awesome intro message, something respectful, engaging, that does not look at them like this is their job, they are an enthusiast not a pro (nothing wrong with the pros, love you guys, but it's a job for you, I don't want messages asking if they can 'book' with me or asking for last minute scheduling). There are some good forums on how to write these initial messages already, search for them.
    • Read the enthusiasts profile before you write them so you have an idea of who they are.
    • Be patient, female enthusiasts have an inbox full of messages at any given time. Some of them are great, but some of them are boring/yawn worthy, or just completely creepy and/or inappropriate (yes I report them). the female enthusiast gets to be choosy because of that. Is it fair? It doesn't matter, it is what it is.
    • Fill out your profile (I haven't actually looked at anyone's, so that's not a critique of anyone on this forum, just a bit of advice in general).
    • Hire some pros and get some believable karma so we know you're not a murderer or worse.
  • gr8AZvibegr8AZvibe

    Not all instances come down to a "search". When I first joined I was thrilled to see the "Nearby" at the top of the page. That thrill lasted a few minutes because when I clicked on those profiles and saw not one was within 3 years last active and the oldest was 13 years. They never change and I never look now.
    The comments about the old profiles having to be monitored by the mods, well, that tells me there is no interest in having a programmer address the issue, so I will now accept that a profile that has not been touched in 13 years will remain. For the very isolated instances where someone came back and used an old profile 5 years later, imo, that does not offset the frustration of old profiles not being cleaned up. Damn my computer science degrees. LOL

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    The sites that do boot inactive accounts tend to be ones like Uber, Facebook, etc. that have a lot of money and the staff to monitor these things. To my knowledge, CC is not in that class. They are most likely not going to hire someone to do this that has to be paid, because that cost would likely have to get passed on to members. Instead, they provide an easy way for you to find out who has been on recently and who has not.

  • gr8AZvibegr8AZvibe
    edited April 2025

    It need not be "monitored". It can be taken care of by a few lines of code. Anyways, it is what it isn't and we will deal with it.

  • homeboyhomeboy

    To help balance out the thrill turning into frustration that some experience, I for one don’t mind coming across profiles of users who haven’t been around in a while.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Just mind your own profile.

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