Gender-Inclusivity from a (singular) trans/non-binary person
Some recipts at the bottom. *edit was to reformat recipts, edit to add update to the most recent one.
(meaning if another trans person is okay with you asking these things, cool, but there are many of us that find this extremely disrespectful so sometimes its better to error on the side of caution and maybe question why you even have the need to ask)
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For the love of all that is good and wholesome and cuddly...
(Please read my bio so you know exactly what all of these people had a chance to see before deliberately choosing to message me first)
I do not put my gender in my profile so that I can make sure a straight man who "only cuddles women" is "cool/comfortable with" me being trans/non-binary. I couldn't care less what that specific person thinks of me outside of a platonic context, even then, meh?
I do put my gender in my profile so that you can recognize I'm not the one. If you need to know what I have in my pants or what I "started with" so badly that you have to ask at all, but especially when you messaged me first, and before being curious about anything else about me, you won't like my answer. You shouldn't have to ask. This is a platonic cuddling site why would you need to know anything beyond my gender? (because that is separate from biological structures and the only time its appropriate to ask about that area at all is if you are my doctor or *my current/mutually potential sexual partner. Do people end up dating from here? Maybe, but even if that is your intention, that shouldn't be your first priority on a site that is explicitly a platonic cuddling site. There are other exceptions, but I'd rather not share them here as I don't need to give predators a handbook on how to make it harder for me and others to sus them out.)
I am open to cuddling anybody except people who are here to be predatory and weirdly specific about the gender they choose to cuddle and yet they come sniffing around me because a lot of people who claim to be a straight man who only cuddle women unexpectedly have a weird obsession with trans people and what's in our pants, but especially the trans people with an "innie" (regardless of whether you started with it or not.. Usually for A. You love that specific organ/structure so much you don't care who is attached to it, even if they look nothing like what society has deemed a cis woman "should" look like OR B. You fetishize trans people, both options are disgusting. You can appreciate people as they are without sexualizing or fetishizing. You can also appreciate someone's sex-appeal or be attracted to trans people without fetishizing us).
I consider this behavior a dog-whistle/red flag (from anyone, but it almost always is straight men online) for misogyny and some site-rule violations. I will assume this intention of you if you ask me. This is your information, if you message me with this kind of nonsense, I will consider it your consent to my unbridled response and whatever else feels necessary after I post this.
The karma will come back to bite you.
Most cis women who know that you're transphobic and who understand how misogyny works throughout all gender expressions will also know that this type of person rarely has their actual safety in mind either (only percieved/performative "safety" if that).
I am a kind person, and the amount of dysphoria and disgust I feel when people ask me that as if its their divinely-given right to get a verbal look-see and check (just like how many country's policies are starting to turn...) It makes me feel rage. You don't have to understand us to at the basic level of respect not asking such ridiculous, unnecessary, personally/medically/sexually invasive questions or to waste our time when almost everybody always asks us to educate them, to tell us what we had/have/plan to do with our bodies. We have lives full of all the same responsibilities and needs as you do, plus this and any other marginization we experience. We don't have time/energy to do even more free emotional/educational labor for every random we come across who has "never met a trans person before" (that you know of). Many of us struggle with job stability and other things because of ignorant/hateful people, please don't add to that.
Just believe we're what we say we are. If you don't want to or don't like it, feel unsafe around us, or just can't exercise any bit of self-control, block me or I'll block you. Simple as that.
Reciepts in order of recieving these messages all of whom list on their profiles:
Man
Orientation Straight
Cuddles Women
1.
I know people like to request photos for various reasons, but often times (even my own mother has done this when asking about my trans friends) people will ask "for a picture" just to get around having to ask about "what you were born with" even though that is not a very accurate way to guess. Many trans/gender non-conforming people have many types of presentations that are not always obvious, even if you "think" you know, you rarely do.
2.
This was a pro, so I just didn't respond because of the blurb that comes with attempting to respond to the message.
3.
Someone who maybe just never read my bio (I have not edited it in any way before posting this, you can look at it yourself)
4.
This one was straight-out
And it got even more explicit.
Edited to remove private conversation screenshots posted [netrunner]