Are people in agreement that posters with no photos are hiding something, probably that they don’t want their spouse or s.o. to know?!
Not necessarily
no
It’s too easy to generalize like that. People have all sorts of reasons for what they do, or share.
People with profile pics are doing it for dating purposes. See how ridiculous your generalization is?
Given that they also usually seem to have very brief, non-descriptive profiles, I think it's usually just laziness.
That is certainly true in some cases, but not all. There are a million reasons for not posting a photo, although most of them boil down to cowardice, self-delusion or neurosis. Or laziness, obviously.
It is very common for non-photo profiles to attach a photo with an opening message, or to do so without fuss upon request. Refusing to provide a photo to somebody you intend to meet is a red flag.
Go to Profile->Settings to block or allow non-members to view your profile.
A profile photo does add a level of transparency however..it is up to the individual as to how transp⁴arent they want to be ...the same applies to profile descriptions.....and an image never is the same as a ⁷profile photo,...........its always be st to be as transparent as posible
I always see it as maybe there are people who just want to dip their toe in the water here and are not sure if they want to get involved yet. So they do the bare minimum to get a profile up while they look around and see what the place is about.
@WriterGF you're right. I did that initially. Took me a bit to decide to engage.
I used to do it so that people I may know wouldn’t possibly see it. Not for nefarious reasons, it’s just that platonic cuddling isn’t widely accepted yet and a lot of people who aren’t in the community tend to think less of people in this community or jump to (wrong) conclusions, so I wanted to avoid the drama.
It doesn’t make me any less of a person. Eventually, I stopped caring and just posted a photo.
@Amalie that's a pretty sweeping statement regarding the intentions of a lot of people. Are there folks hiding out on here for nefarious reasons? Sure. I get a lot of their messages and report when appropriate. 😉 But people make choices for a lot of different reasons.
@Kense Exactly!! 🤣
@kayem20 100%
I am not trying to hide anything from the larger community as a whole. However, due ot the nature of my professional life, I want to make sure the person checking out my profile is someone I don't know in another capacity because of the stigma around cuddling (and yes, even other cuddlers on this site might have stigma toward someone else on the site).
Once I feel reasonably sure that I don't know them, and that there is some compatibility between us, I will share my picture with them as long as they are also willing to share theirs. (If they are not willing at that point, or are pushy about getting it immediately, then red flags rise do rise and I am not willing.)
I also take into account internet safety as a whole, both as a woman and a human being. I don't want my image up everywhere, I don't even use my own face on other social media accounts that actually have my full name attached to them. 🤷♀️ Maybe it doesn't matter, but its a choice I make that has nothing to do with keeping secrets from a significant other.
To try to make up for not having an image of my face on here, I've tried to fill out my profile as completely as I can to convey a sense of who I am, while maintaining some discretion for myself. And I tried to pick an image for my profile that I felt also conveyed a little bit of my energy in it. ☺️
@mauvefox Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
People have lives and jobs that they do not want their picture broadcasted all over social media and other social sights. I have zero face pictures of me on my instagram, but I have pictures on there if fun stuff that I’ve done without my picture being in it. In today’s world of AI, I wouldn’t want my picture being downloaded and then used as blackmail.
Can be also for professional reason. Atleast just in my case.
like @mauvefox and @kayem20 said, I don't do it because I don't want people who know me professionally and personally seeing my picture on a site that they might deem illicit or strange. I don't want CC to be what shows up if people Google my real name. Especially with me being open about embarassing life troubles here.
That said, I have never refused to personally share a picture and I have a photo that people can see when they add me as a friend.
Sometimes it's really just not that deep
@mauvefox described my reasons for not having a profile picture better than I could've hoped for.
I was raised in a culture where certain things (ex. cuddling) carry unwelcome and often untrue implications, leading me to prioritize my online privacy even in the absence of topics that may be stigmatized by others. In that regard, my profile picture is a recent but non-specific addition to my profile, and I've intentionally not included any personal information on this site as I do with many others simply because I like to be in control of my data and I think that's fair enough.
Am I hiding something? Maybe just my simple normal & silly self, from concerns that my never materialize. But I've no partner to hide things from, nor the ethics that would let me breach the trust of such a person or the terms of this site.
I'd also like to think I've put enough effort into the remainder of my profile here to augment the lack of a photo for anyone who cares enough. And personally, I'm quite alright with understanding this might mean I don't get as many replies as I would with a profile picture. Maybe one day, some part of this will change for me, but until then I feel safer knowing that I'm less likely to be burned again if I don't put something out there I may not be able to claw back.
From my perspective, coming onto this site was scary at first. I didn't know what any of the buttons meant, how the forum worked, who could see what, etc. and it didn't help that I'm the kind of person who reads Privacy Policies.
I'd like to say that the ability to disconnect my IRL identity for a bit, just to suspend that connection until when it's needed, lets me be more me than I would otherwise. I don't want to have to explain this to people in my life who I know won't understand if this ever reached them. I don't want to have to carefully review my posts with my company's external social media policy, fearing one of their checks returns a match for a photo or other metadata from this site. I'm comfortable with who I am, but this allowance lets me be myself and express it.
I think it goes beyond just hiding from a spouse or significant other. In some cases, it might even be about avoiding law enforcement. On occasion, I’ll click on a Pro profile that seems like it might be offering more than cuddles. Often, the About section or bio confirms my suspicion, and when I check their friend list, the majority of the connected profiles have no pictures. That pattern raises red flags for me.
That said, I understand there are legitimate reasons why someone might choose not to post a photo. Public cuddling can seem unusual or even risky to people outside the community. So while photo absence isn’t inherently suspicious, in some contexts it definitely adds to the picture.
Because of stigma. If you tell most people unfamiliar with the cuddling community that you use a cuddling service they will generally assume that its a front for sex work. Same as if you go to an Asian massage parlor, even if that place is 100% legit with no funny business.
@mauvefox
I don't even use my own face on other social media accounts that actually have my full name attached to them. 🤷♀️
Smart move! Companies like ClearVue, and many others, scrape names and images from social media to build massive facial recognition databases (without your consent). If I ever have to post a “real” photo of myself online, I run it through a special filter that subtly alters my appearance just enough to throw off facial recognition.
I am still be recognizable to someone who saw my filtered photo then saw me in person but my facial feature ratios would be just different enough to confuse facial recognition (at least the current version but it is getting better all the time).
I have a public facing semi high profile government job… I don’t want coworkers, clients or others I work with professionally to see my account and reviews. However I do have tons of photos for friends only as I’m beyond happy to share my identity and any info with anyone in consideration
@portal6747
Am I hiding something? Maybe just my simple normal & silly self, from concerns that my never materialize.
Privacy is NOT about hiding anything, it is about consent. As a free, adult human being, I should have the right to decide WHAT I choose to disclose about myself, to WHOM, and WHEN I choose to do so.
My problem with all the privacy invading companies (General Motors, Google, Lowe’s, Louis Vitton, etc.) is not that I am hiding anything, it is that THEY are deciding for me what to collect / sell / “share” about me, without my consent. Both GM and Toyota are currently being sued for collecting data on customer’s driving habits and selling it to insurance companies.
Lowe’s has your data as well. Not just your name and address but all the details of your home (age, square footage, number of bathrooms, etc.) as well as how many people live in your home and your annual income.
I normally see it as a red flag. However, my experience has been quite the opposite. Most business professionals are too busy to deal with crafting a profile on any site-so they opt not to and that's perfectly fine. To each their own. Since joining CC I have had some of my best cuddles from people who have no photos!
"You do you, Boo Boo."
How about this, instead of assuming things just ask for a photo in private. Me and I’m sure most people here with no public photo have no issues sending one.
I don't post a public photo because I have a lot of clients from work. I would like to have a measure of privacy. I am happy to exchange a photo with someone I am messaging.
I am also fine messaging other profiles without a photo because we share photos after we start talking.
I'm single and don't have a photo. I shouldn't be embarrassed I'm here, but I am.
I think it ultimately comes down to personal preference. For example, my profile picture is a stock photo. But I also have an extensive profile description and state that if I'm talking with someone, I'll send them my photo (or if they add me as a friend, they'll automatically see my friends-only photos). Seems like a reasonable middle ground to me. The decision to not put my pic out there from the get-go is because I'm from a small rural community where everyone knows everyone's business and platonic cuddling isn't well understood or accepted by society as a whole (and would probably sound seedy or sketch to the average person). As such, I try to balance privacy (as it relates to the general public) with transparency (as it relates to fellow cuddlers) as best as possible. Granted, I could just turn off making my profile open to the public, but I don't mind the public knowing there's a cuddler in the area so I split the difference - public profile, semi-private photos.
I talked to someone on here from a relatively small area. She told me that someone from her community saw her picture on here and, convinced the site was a cover for sex work, tried to blackmail her about being a member.
@WriterGF and how were they able to see her photo on here? 🤔
And "blackmail"? What was he/she demanding in exchange for his/her silence?