Hey! So, I’m charging based on a number of factors. What is a general standard that will cover enough session-related expenses that generally respect my needs to show up and provide my best therapeutic service. Coming from a therapy perspective of this work, I bring a college level education and training in therapeutic relationship, so I’m really honing that role in this space through a touch-based modality, adding to it my Cuddlist training and new certification. What I’m equipped to support with and the work that’s gone into developing it and now maintaining it is significant.
I understand that this isn’t everyone’s view of pro cuddling, and that it’s understood and utilized in many different ways. Just sharing where I’m coming from and what’s behind my prices, as well as why I may charge more in the future.
I wonder if part of the reason is this site taking 20% of the cuddle profits. Maybe some people get less sessions so they feel they need to charge more for them.
@CandraCuddles I know I charge just a little more here than for sessions I find elsewhere. 🤷♀️
They can charge whatever they want. However, you can choose to pay whatever you want. No-one is forcing you to pay more than you are comfortable with. And there is no guarantee that if you pay more or less you will get a more enjoyable cuddle. You just have to meet the right person for a nice experience
Because I can.
@ArtsyHarmony same.
I think some is different markets. And I think some is how people value their time. I do several types of things for work in my life and so I set my rates to feel good spending my time cuddling versus engaged in another type of work.
@CandraCuddles actually it's even less than that, only 15%. Compared to other industries this is very low - 40% is common for an intermediary and sometimes it's over 50%.
@CuddleDuncan it's low in the category of low tier sites, so I wouldn't compare the fee structure to them. 😂 These other sites you're talking about are considered sketchy for many of us who are serious about offering these services. I've never even entertained the idea of being on them, not even factoring the fee structure. Cuddle comfort is in a category of itself, because of the mutually engaged community, resulting in a vastly different level of a fee. Higher tier professionals (less casual, more serious, not just trying to make money from people, etc) generally do a lot more of the business themselves, so they wouldn't stick around with any higher of a cut. Cuddlist is a flat monthly fee, which is another category, different from these high fee sites and different from CC. I'm surprised at how many people find me direct. I'm here as a backup and because of the community and it's definitely measurably better than the other sites (that which charge way more %).
That’s the beauty of it being a free market. I started at $80 and went up to $120 after some karmas and may even increase soon.. as each session progresses I realize even $120 is not enough for what I sometimes have to deal with.. definitely weeds out certain individuals. When I was $80 I had to walk through dirty homes when hosted, dealt with people who still clearly wanted more. It’s what you feel your time is worth vs the hassle.
@Hersnuggles there's probably a balance. Don't want to be the cheapest, but once you get past a certain point, you might end up back to getting more people thinking you're offering other services. 🫣 But yes, free market...
I feel like anything in the 80-100 range is SUPER normal. I mean if you think of any wellness service from eyelashes to waxes to massage, or even nails, anything that is body work charges atleast this much for a service if they are any good and not a beginner. I feel like just because it isn't a normalized service people feel like it should be cheap?
Clearly, it's worth it. I mean not only is it physical work (connection, attunement, staying alert), but there is also often a sort of counseling aspect that can be emotionally draining where you need to put back into yourself. It's an incredibly intimate job that should be honored that way.
You have to think that you aren't just charging to be a warm body. Especially if you are also offering your more emotionally inclined clients a listening ear, and validation and an emotional soft space. Therapists charge 200$ just to sit in a chair and take notes. What we are doing constitutes as a form of touch therapy and we should be valued for the emotional space we are offering because let's be honest, real empathy, emotional intelligence and the capacity to sit with your feelings AND other feelings is not a skill everyone has. You're still utilizing a skill set. Plus the implied and overt sexualization from the lesser paying clients is enough to want to filter them out.
Wow! Pretty amazing that this thread is approaching 7 years old! Just about ready for 1st grade and permanent teeth
No, in all seriousness, the age of thread simply means that the topic is still important to discuss....and such conversation should still be welcome.
@BrieB your comment is important, especially as regards the description of the skill set utilized by seasoned and capable pros, of which there are precious few. However, your last sentence about over sexualization from lesser paying clients is questionable. I think that higher paying clients are just as likely, perhaps even more likely, to imagine "more" is available in a cuddle session. Vetting new clients continues to be an important cuddling skill.
But my main comment centers around pricing higher for specific reasons. Guys love to criticize the higher-charging pros, going from accusations that they are primarily sex-workers.....to simply being out of touch regarding the pricing standards for such work. But these criticisms are extremely short-sighted.....and lacks the recognition of just how broad sessions can be, and the variance in skill sets offered.
I know pros are who have a background in talk therapy, and are greatly skilled in holding space that is incredibly empathetic and deeply understanding....allowing for emotional breakthroughs to occur while offering the comfort of physical touch at the same time. Quite powerful, rare, and definitely deserving of charging a higher rate.
I know other pros who are trained coaches, and can offer lifestyle alchemy that can literally alter a client's health (both emotional and physical). This includes diet, supplements, and exercise guidance....along with creating the necessary trust through the intimacy of loving touch. These combinations are remarkable, and again, deserving of higher charges. An industry standard just makes no sense.....as the variety of skills in the pro cuddling world is so vast.
On the other hand, a pro who shows up to a session with a robotic approach, who thinks that a touch-starved lonely man should just pay them $150 per hour for their attention, may not garner the volume in an ongoing way that they would hope for. I have been overcharged by pros at $110 per hour......they are just not worth it, don't bring anything memorable.....and undercharged by others at $180 an hour, as my entire being was uplifted through the session they curated, and it lasts for days.
Are the men who complain about something they have no control over, already frustrated because they can’t control women? I really hope that Pros don’t feel obligated to justify what they charge for a cuddle session.
@beaubliss 💜🎯 spot on. 🤗
@g_w_t_w ,@ubergigglefritz Thank you 😊
As a 30M who has been single for years and gets 0 matches across all dating apps, its gotten to the point where now im on a cuddling website and looking to pay women just for physical touch.
I wonder if some of us guys just arent meant for connections with women. Women tend to chase after the tall 6ft+, handsome men , and men who are very successful.
But what about the rest of us? I guess from their point of view its "Look, the only way I'll even touch you is if you pay me $150 per hour. I have plenty of men to date and choose from. But you? You're just not worth my time unless you pay me."
I dont really know what to do. I can go on dating apps and just twiddle my thumbs as all of the women call me too short and just ignore me. Im lucky to get 1 or 2 matches per month. Or, I guess I can start coughing up boat loads of money just to get some physical touch.
Boat loads of money doesn’t stop once you’re in a relationship ship lol I have a Wife and a Daughter and they’re the two biggest sugar babies in my life 🤣
Women tend to chase after the tall 6ft+, handsome men , and men who are very successful.
This is in-keeping with general biological imperatives. It's human nature. It's also a two-way street out there. Men also have criteria that women find unfair.
The realist post ever, if you don’t pay you can’t touch…
As a 30M who... gets 0 matches across all dating apps... now im on a cuddling website... I dont really know what to do. I can go on dating apps and just twiddle my thumbs... Im lucky to get 1 or 2 matches per month... I can start coughing up boat loads of money...
Or, perhaps, take a break from the web. Try getting out into the real world. There are connections to be made at farmer's markets, libraries, bookstores, grocery stores, hike & bike trails, museums, churches, local festivals, etc.
It's not hopeless.
I can have sympathy/empathy for your situation and how you feel, but the disdain for cuddle pros I can't get behind. The pro bashing isn't necessary. It's not the cause for how you feel. Pity parties get you nowhere.
Q: Are some of us just undeserving of cuddles? A: No. You just seem down on your luck. There is always that one type of romantic partner and that one type of platonic cuddler you gotta find that works for you. Just depends how well you look. Gems are out there. You gotta do the work to get one.
It’s possible that many people - men and women - on this site have experienced rejection at some point. It’s the situation that has brought us here in the first place. I’m sorry that it happens, a level of acceptance helps.
A lot of my friends never ask a guy for anything. What type of women are asking for a payment? Are you on the professional cuddling side or the site?
It's good to process how in this day and age with our cultural/political/societal climate, there can be a large rift between men and women in how they approach dating.
From a male POV we can see the world changing for women while we get left behind. But there's only so much we can dwell on what we percieve as unfair from our environment.
Paying for cuddles could help you to no longer be touch-starved and this alone is a journey that could make you feel better about yourself.
It did me, and allowed me to be more selective in who I now spend time with.
🤐
I think “deserving” and “undeserving” are strong terms, but I get what you’re asking.
It’s true that you need certain qualities in order to succeed socially or romantically. I would say though it mostly comes down to confidence and social skills. Looks are important too, but not everything (except maybe in extreme cases). There’s likely a strong correlation between high confidence and being tall, handsome, and successful, which intuitively makes sense. But people can be confident and have good social skills without those other traits, and that confidence can take them far when it comes to forging relationships.
Paying for cuddles doesn’t mean you’ll never find someone. It just means you don’t have anyone right now, and you probably struggle to find someone at the moment. These circumstances may change, or they might stay the same. I won’t say you will or won’t find someone because I don’t have that answer. There are tons of variables at play, including luck (being in the right place at the right time), when it comes to determining whether you’ll find someone.