Just wondering what everyone’s thoughts are in hiring a cuddle while in a relationship.
@QuietCalmCuddle Your profile says you're single. Are you looking to hire, or being hired?
I think what matters is if the other half of the relationship is aware and consenting.
My boyfriend knows and supports me cuddling, and has hung out with quite a few of my cuddle friends. I would never be here if he wasn't comfortable with it. Unfortunately, many here do not feel the same.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🐄 Vegan 🫧 Kid at Heart
It's quite common.
I mean it's quite common when the partner knows. If you include when the partner doesn't know, then its very common.
@QuietCalmCuddle, I am married and I came to CC because my spouse is no longer able to fulfill the need for physical closeness I require for my mental stability. Whether it be a pro or enthusiast, it isn't about anything more than providing/receiving a moment of comfort and support which helps me recenter. I understand some may use this as an interview process of sorts to find a replacement to their current situation, but for me personally it is simply a safe and more controlled environment for me to connect with like-minded individuals who wish to lift up this world through caring and understanding to combat all the hate and greed that surrounds us daily.
As a single guy not in a relationship but reading other profiles. It sounds fine as long as everyone is in the know. Like in most things, communication is key.
I will add that I’ve come across some accounts that seem to have sworn off clients in a relationship due to bad experiences. I’m guessing the pro got caught up in behavior that was being kept secret.
For those that do it right though, it’s really impressive that a couple can comfortably support each other like that. I’m blown away.
No one I've dated in the past four years has ever had an issue with me cuddling other people, professionally or my friends/cuddle parties.
This topic comes up a lot. The only real answer is everyone has their own opinion on the matter.
Some have a hard no regardless of if your partner is aware and consenting. Some will cuddle if partner is aware and consenting. Some require actual proof of that. And some don’t care at all.
Some cuddlers in romantic/committed relationships have been up front with their partners about their activities here. My guess is many many have not.
And is usually a reason for that lack of honestly. Sometimes it’s a nefarious one, like they have ulterior motives here, and sometimes it’s a completely valid one.
You’re gonna have to take it up with each person individually.
The main thing is don’t introduce any crazy or dangerous drama into your cuddle partners life because your romantic/committed partner gets upset about your activities here. If you can’t guarantee that, then you put other people at risk.
@MJ73 well said!
@mauvefox said it all. I don’t think I could add any more.
I've always been in a relationship since I joined this site and I've only ever come across one fellow who had an issue with it. It was 2 days after our first date when I told him and he wasn't even a little bit willing to hear anything about it (I think he only thinks of it as a post sexual activity??). It seemed possessive and controlling to me, so I let "him" go, but if you can't/won't communicate about it- then you (as a cuddler) have a choice to make and there's no right or wrong answer to that. Personally? I'd walk away from that potential relationship. I need the mental break FAR MORE than the added stress/pressure of having to hide it or explain it. As long as it stays platonic, I see no reason 2 mature adults should ever have to discuss it, but maybe that's just me??
@great_pillow08 It's good to hear your perspective both as a woman and an Enthusiast. I had just figured that if I did start dating I would stop cuddling. But you're right there's nothing wrong with cuddling even if I am in a relationship since it's platonic. I think I would definitely need to discuss it with my partner so that we're both comfortable with it. As long as he's not being controlling like you mentioned that one person was.
Ideally my partner would be able to cuddle daily and then I would stop but I guess I'll have to wait and see. Everything is just a hypothetical right now since I haven't decided if I want to start dating or not. 🤔🤷🏻♀️
Edit: @SunsetSnuggles I forgot to mention you too. Enthusiast + In a relationship = Making it work 🥳
I am a senior citizen with a yputhful spirit, a caregiver spouse to my wife of almost 39 years who is bedridden with multiple sclerosis for the past ten+ years.
I use cuddling therapeutically to recharge my caregiver batteries, because my wife and i can no longer snuggle like we used to most every night.
When I first happened upon CuddleComfort, I was quite taken aback. It had been several years since my wife and I had been able to share a bed because of her needing a home hospital bed. It eventually hit me that I was quite cuddle-deprived. So was she, of course, but I was able to give her loving touch from the side of her home hospital bed. This site made me realize how much I had missed being held, because we used to cuddle just about every night.
The thought of receiving cuddles from a woman not my wife gave me conflicting feelings, so I sought out a therapist for counseling and advice. The intake therapist I saw introduced me to the term "caregiver burnout".
I wanted to try cuddling, but it took me months of counseling to come up with the right words to use to approach my wife about it first When I finally did, she was understanding and supportive, which really blew me away. The last thing I wanted to do was to make her feel rejected or hurt because of my wanting to try this
I finally arranged for a first session, and I was embarrassed at how needy I felt. When I was touched, I sighed so involuntarily deeply that I kept apologizing to my cuddler for the noise I was making. Thankfully, she was very understandung and put me at ease.
I believe that cuddling has made me a better and more effective caregiver spouse. And now, as a cancer patient myself, i find it very conforting, though I use it less frequently than I did initially for financial reasons.
I personally would communicate that to my partner first, UNLESS it were an unhealthy relationship and I were planning an exit strategy. Then I wouldn’t communicate such things, of course. But if I were happy in the relationship and wanted to continue it, then I would communicate such things. And I would expect the same from my partner.
With that being said, whether I would cuddle someone if THEY were in a relationship is a case-by-case basis. Generally, as long as they have their relationship boundaries already worked out, I don’t care. In most cases, as long as I know what to expect, it shouldn't be a problem.
If they’re inconsistent with their boundaries, and I don't know what to expect, then that’s a problem. So if they started cuddling me without thinking it through, and then said “wait, shit, I need to check with my partner”… that’s not cool. They should already have had that figured out.
There is one specific relationship agreement that’s a deal-breaker for me. If the partner were given the privilege of vetting each and every new cuddle buddy on an individual basis, and I either needed to agree to some sort of interview with the partner, or she had to describe me in detail to her partner and then he got to approve or disapprove based on said description… hell no! So, a veto power agreement would be a deal-breaker for me.
Veto power is not the only relationship agreement that could exist. I think the veto power one is relatively rare. There are other relationship agreements that are perhaps more common. Some couples may have a relationship agreement that specific forms of platonic touch are reserved for the couple exclusively. For example, face caresses are reserved exclusively for the couple, and are not to occur with cuddle buddies. That's not necessarily a deal-breaker. It's not like they're my only cuddle buddy. I could still do that with someone else. As long as I was aware going into it, I don't have a problem with that.
Then again, if I was cuddle buddies with someone, and then they entered a new relationship, and then they made a new relationship agreement stipulating that face caresses were no longer allowed with cuddle buddies, then I might choose to not continue the cuddle relationship, depending how close I felt to the person. If they were an occasional cuddle buddy, I probably wouldn't care. However, if they were a close, consistent cuddle buddy, and then there were new restrictions due to a new relationship, such as no face caresses, I might decide to walk away from the cuddle friendship. So, I prefer consistency, and I don't like change. I prefer to know what to expect from the get-go.
So yes, cuddling someone in an exclusive relationship (exclusive = monogamous or hierarchical polyamorous) is a gray area, and it's very much a case-by-case basis. However, if they're in a relationship but not exclusive (i.e., non-hierarchical polyamorous), then I don't see any potential for trouble.
I did start dating I would stop cuddling.
☝️😊
@MTex Lol! This is ONE REASON that I don't even want to "date" any more...NO! 😔 😒
Because, I have done that "giving up" crap while they gave up NOTHING on my behalf! NO! 😆😌
Lol!😄
Platonic is good for me. Platonic works for me. 👍👍👍👍
@OP Sorry about the hijack, back to the topic at hand ...😁👍
Some will cuddle if partner is aware and consenting. Some require actual proof of that.
😁😁😁😁
@mauvefox Yeppers, this is Me as a Cuddle Enthusiast when it comes to married/attached cuddlers. 👍
@Katota yeah you're right platonic is filling the need right now. Sometimes the heart forgets all the trouble that comes along with a romantic relationship. 🙈🙉🙊 Platonic ones are much less complicated! Thank you for the reminder. 😘
@MTex Oh no! 😮
I didn't mean for my comment to be discouraging for you, especially IF you want to give dating a shot again. 😊
I just know for Myself, dating isn't a good thing for Me, I never pick men who are worthy of dating and it all just goes to hell in the end.🔥❤️🔥
Lol! 😆
I know this now, and I fully, happily accept it. 😁👍
Staying single, keeping it PLATONIC ONLY...
...Works best for Me, however if You want to give dating another shot don't let my commentary discourage you. I wish you well, if you do get out there in the dating world again! 😁🫂
My thoughts are I mind my business.
Platonic ones are much less complicated!
They are indeed that! 👍👍👍
@Katota It's all good 🫶🏼 I was just thinking out loud.
I've had similar experiences @Katota ! 😒 So same here for the time being 😎🙋♀️
I don't mind sessions with cuddle buddies who are married tho....it's their responsibility, not mine. How would I be able to I make sure anyways 🤷♀️
@RedFox16 😁🫂
When I first joined the site I shortly after got into a relationship and forgot about using the site. After I got out of that relationship it was very difficult for me to get into another one despite going on a few dates, so I came back to the site and honestly I prefer to cuddle over getting into a relationship, at least right now.