Loneliness

ShadowbladeShadowblade
in General

So I joined this site awhile back but completely forgot back it and recently rediscovered it.
I have been single my entire life and thought this site might have been a good way to at least have someone to cuddle with.
I've been having no luck finding someone to cuddle with.
I'm starting to get to the point of giving up on trying to get someone to cuddle with as its looking like women just don't even care to cuddle with me.

«13

Comments

  • mduncan501mduncan501

    I understand your frustration brother, and deal with much of the same. But keep at it. Chat with people in the forums, try coming up with original messages to say hi to women with. Women don't owe us affection, it is up to us to show we are worth their time.

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    Its always like this, it never gets better, only worst.
    I'm starting to feel like I should not only give up on this site, but also dating in general and only go to the club whenever I can afford to and pay for it there. I know that's not a great idea either, but what else is there.

  • MJ73MJ73

    @Shadowblade I too understand the frustrations of not being able to get just that first cuddle experience in.
    Its like going for a job where they want you to have so much experience, but until someone takes a chance on you, there's no way to get the experience they want you to have.
    When your focus is strictly on fellow enthusiasts, the challange curve is exceedingly steeper. The good news for you, is that there seem to be a lot of cuddle community members in your area (based on random searches I've conducted).

    Being a part of this community can be very rewarding and beneficial, but entry into the fold is not freely given. We have to exert some degree of effort to show why we belong.
    I noticed you do not have anything written on your profile by way of an introduction.... I would start there. Put something about yourself that would allow a potential cuddle match to connect with you on.
    Especially with enthusiasts, there has to be some kind of commonality in order to even consider opening any communication.

    I wish you luck on your journey into the cuddle stream. Don't give up, the reward is worth the effort.

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    I feel ignored by all the women.
    There is nothing special about me to say on my profile.

  • [Deleted User]CravingHugs (deleted user)

    As someone who's always been very much an outsider looking in I can understand your pain. It's very difficult to stay positive when all you seem to have is loneliness. I've spent my life being polite, kind, helpful etc but may aswell be Mr Invisible. I know a lot of it is due to my upbringing, I was overprotected so it felt smothering & it destroyed my self confidence & I have a lot of self loathing. I can tell I have these invisible walls I've built to protect myself from getting too attached as I feel things won't work out before I even try. I think people can sense that so they don't try with me either, a sort of self fulfilling prophecy. Long term loneliness does horrible things mentally & physically, it can make you sad, angry, apathetic, desperate, tired & all of those things & more all at once.

    It's a horrible spiral to be stuck in & I'm not sure what the answer is, I think so many people are in the same situation nowadays.

    I'm considering a professional cuddler just to have some form of physical contact as my body & mind are both really starting to suffer from lack of touch. I know though that at the end of the day even if the person is very genuine that it's essentially a business transaction so a very temporary fix.

    Like I say I don't know what the answer is but sometimes it's just useful to vent these things.

  • MJ73MJ73

    @Shadowblade, we are all unique in our own way... this isn't about trying to impress others with our accomplishments or special talents, but to show that we have compassion for the human race and even just a little humility in ourselves to openly admit we don't have all the answers to lifes challenges.
    Something of an introduction of yourself is more advantageous than absolutely nothing.
    I, myself, will often disregard any profiles I come across with nothing shared... and women are a lot more discerning than most men.

  • [Deleted User]cool_dude_ (deleted user)

    @Shadowblade
    doesn't have to be anything crazy like a world record or some insane activity, you can just put something about yourself like your interests or whatever your into, it looks like you have some books or movies behind you in your photo.
    And ik this is something you prob heard before but try not to dwell on the bad stuff in life too much or it'll consume you, try to look for other things you can do instead even if it's not the thing you want the most (hobbies, activities, social events, stuff you haven't tried before) so that you can feel like you have something to look forward to, doesn't mean you should stop searching from time to time though.

  • Rocket_ManRocket_Man

    Do you happen to have any neurodiversities? That could explain why certain things are more difficult for you.

  • _marC_marC

    What does your name mean? Is that a reference ?

  • mistic233mistic233
    edited August 2025

    I have been single my whole adult life as well , prob mainly due to my avoidant personality style
    I would advice you not to make a big deal about it , there's way more to life than dating and romantic relationships, do not live with that weight on you , I know people in relationships that are absolutely miserable , put some money away once in while so you can see a pro cuddler and you'll be fine , and def please do not go to nightclubs to offer women money lol

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @mistic233
    I love what you wrote. I prefer a drama-free life personally. I know some people are very different than myself and feel the need for a partner. I prefer being alone. But sometimes a cuddle is great, as long as we both understand it’s not a relationship.

  • mistic233mistic233

    g_w_t_w I have two simple rules for my life , no debt and no drama lol

  • JL_BorgesJL_Borges

    @Shadowblade, hey buddy, most of us have been raised to believe that loneliness is an unquestionably bad or shameful state. Why? Because it’s interpreted culturally as being an outsider or not belonging. Feel encouraged that you are brave enough to open a discussion about your personal feeling of loneliness.

    Loneliness is a fundamental part of the human experience. It’s also a perception of one’s own reality, not an objective truth. Poet and philosopher, David Whyte, says that loneliness “is the sense that you won’t be seen or found by the world in the way that you want to be found.” I’ll include the source for this at the end.

    You said that there is nothing special you can say about yourself on your profile. If Whyte’s definition of loneliness resonates with you, then you do truly feel that there is something special that you hope someone will discover. What are those qualities, interests, etc.? They don’t have to be earth-shattering. Mine aren’t.

    We know ourselves from the inside, but we only know others from what they tell us. So tell people proudly about yourself, how you want them to know you. Do it on your profile.

    Finally, the loneliness you feel is a message. Accept it. If you listen openly, you will begin to understand how to grow and live better. In this sense, loneliness is a friend and a teacher.

    Consider listening to Julia Bainbridge’s podcast The Lonely Hour.

    Source of quotation: https://onbeing.org/programs/david-whyte-poetry-from-the-on-being-gathering-closing-words-oct2018/

  • [Deleted User]CravingHugs (deleted user)

    " put some money away once in while so you can see a pro cuddler and you'll be fine"

    People's minds work in many different ways that's for sure, I'd love to be able to just switch things off like that.

    In many cases I think people go through many stages of loneliness, from the initial sadness of feeling it & rejections not really getting to you etc. The longer it goes on it can get worse & worse & you can end up feeling so mentally & physically disconnected from everything. Going as far as to beg within people you know to feel some sort of connection to this world & even then you probably won't find someone who cares.

    How do you even approach someone to say I need a cuddle so badly it hurts? 99% of people will just think you're crazy or you're after sex.

    Having to pay someone to spend time with you in my mind isn't really a fix at all, even if they're a nice person it's still a business transaction. It's a very temporary fix for a serious problem, it's like putting a sticking plaster over a festering wound. If you don't find a way to deal with the underlying problem it can eventually become too big to cope with.

    I can see a site like this one being a stopping place for people in their journey down the loneliness Road in a very delicate mental state, hence the stickied mental help guides etc.

    I don't really know what the answer is, it's different for everyone & in some cases I guess there won't be an answer. It's a really difficult topic to talk about.

  • KatotaKatota

    I would advice you not to make a big deal about it , there's way more to life than dating and romantic relationships, do not live with that weight on you , I know people in relationships that are absolutely miserable

    @mistic233 This is great advice! 👏👏👏

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    I spend all my time alone. It's why I wanted a woman to cuddle with. needing some sort of comfort.

    I wasn't talking about trying to give random women at night clubs money to spend time with me, I was talking about strip clubs.

  • BearCraftBearCraft

    I also joined this site a short while ago after hearing about it. I've been divorced/single for almost 13 years and have had very little luck with dating. I missing the feeling of another's physical touch, whether it be cuddling or just simply holding hands. Unfortunately this site is pretty much dead in my area, there are a few people on it but they haven't been active in months. I travel occasionally so I am hoping for my first cuddle experience during an upcoming trip.

  • mistic233mistic233
    edited August 2025

    Shadowblade omg no disrespect but that's an even worse idea lol , look take your money and learn a new skill , join a boxing class , work out , join a meet up group in a trip to Japan or something like that , you don't have to be alone , you can make friends and developed fulfilling relationships with people doing all of that , it's a much better use of your money than having it thrown at naked women who are just going to take you to the cleaners bud lol

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    At least with the club I'm guaranteed the attention as long as I have the money.
    I don't know Japanese yet so Japan is out of the question. It's extremely hard to learn Japanese alone.

  • mistic233mistic233
    edited August 2025

    Shadowblade haha that's true , I'm noticing something here , you seem to be placing your whole happiness and worth as a man dependent on weather you have a woman sleeping next to you and that's just wrong , if you were to try to date women with that kind of mentally you're going to repelled them , because it reeks of neediness and desperation

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii

    @Shadowblade I’m sorry you’re struggling right now, feeling hopeless is such an isolating and depressive place.

    I think some people have given some good insight - but question, do you have any friends family or community you can connect with? Do you have any friends that are female? Social skills are something you have to practice to get to where you want to be, the more you hang with people platonically the more you’ll have the opportunity for romance or a more intimate connection you’re looking for.

    Women, myself being one, are people just like you. We want to connect - but it takes two to tango. Maybe find a local cuddler that can help with conversation skills! Or call a friend and go out with them!

  • mistic233mistic233

    NikkiFM YES 💯 social skills are the starting point to everything.

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    I don't have friends

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii

    @Shadowblade do you have healthcare thru your job where you can see a therapist, or life coach? Friends are fundamental to life, and there’s always time to start making friends. I’m happy to google resources for you in the DFW if you want to message me with info. Sounds like you want to change, and evolve into a better version of yourself - and I believe that can happen with a support network!

  • mistic233mistic233

    Shadowblade have you thought about attending one of the cuddle meets ?

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    @Shadowblade There is a number of good suggestions provided to you in this thread. I would like to add the fact that you, no one else, are in charge of your happiness. Maybe consider the assistance that NikkiFM has offered. You can do this but you need to start now to make positive changes. Please don't just wallow in loneliness, take charge instead.
    I am rooting for you. ;)

  • 1984joe1984joe

    Shadow blade i am right with you. I pay for my cuddles, the club is fine about the same price. I needed to lower my standards a bit to find love. I receive what I put out in the world. Ever thought about finding love outside of the country?

  • ShadowbladeShadowblade

    @1984joe only country I want to go to is Japan but I don't know Japanese well enough to do so.

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    @Shadowblade Just curious, have you been to Japan? I’m glad you are making an effort to study Japanese, but your knowledge of Japanese or lack thereof shouldn’t stop you if you really want to visit. Most foreign tourists in Japan including those from China and Korea don’t know a lick of Japanese. Hell, most foreigners who live in Japan don’t know any Japanese, so you already have a leg up. If you’re in the major cities like Tokyo or Osaka, you really don’t need to know Japanese because English is everywhere but it does help. I’ve been studying for 2 1/2 years and I’m still beginner level because it is an extremely difficult language to become fluent in, but even know basic sentences will impress the socks off of your typical Japanese person because the number of foreigners who make the effort to actually learn Japanese are far and few.

  • JL_BorgesJL_Borges

    @disneysamurai 💯 correct. I lived in Korea for a year, and have visited Japan and China. Before I went, I spoke zero of any of those languages. In Korea, I learned enough to get by alright, but it was unnecessary. You can do fine with just English.

Sign In or Register to comment.